Tuesday, December 25, 2007

...Christmas passing and the perfect man...

Tita Jean: Christmas na ba?

Tita Jean was the second among the 13 children of my grandmother from my father's side of the family... She was one of those who helped those 12 other siblings of her to finish school and to aspire to be someone... She is loved by all, and a wonderful mother... then sometime in the early 90's, she had a stroke... She lived through it, but half of her body was paralayzed... her left side of the body, that is... So she had to stop working, she was incapable of helping her dear husband cope with everyday needs... and that is why she suffers everyday, i think... not because of her physical pain, but rather because of her incapacity to help, because she has been the one who lifted everyone up when she was able to work...

Despite her condition, she had the ability no one i know possesses: know the birthday of almost everyone in the family... she sometimes forgets your name when you're in front of her, but she will not forget that a birthday is up. at 7AM on your birthday, expect your phone to ring, and don't be surprised because it's her, greeting you a happy birthday in the cheeriest voice you'd hear, and ask you for a blowout...

i think i'm going to miss that the most...

last thursday, she was again confined to the hospital, the 3rd time, i think, over the past couple of months... this time, it was really serious... she could barely talk... she struggles really hard just to breathe, and she normally just sleeps...  but everytime she wakes up, that is the only question that she asks: "Christmas na ba?"

on December 24th, i got  a call from Tita Oyes:

Tita Oyes: wala ako macontact sa inyo.
Me: sorry po, tulog pa ko eh...
Tita Oyes: pwes gumising ka na at pumunta na dito sa ospital. sabi ng doktor baka ngayon na si tita jean...

what words could you possibly say?

We took off, headed straight to the hospital, only to see her struggling to breathe, her right eye bloody red,  her pupils already white, and her skin as yellow a skin may be... It's as if she doesn't see us anymore, but she's hanging tough... i wanted to say goodbye, but i can't find the right words, and i can't bear to see her suffer like that... tears just flowed... while saying the rosary, i could see her eyes watering... she mustered enough strength to lift her hand up, and i pushed my cousin, her eldest son, to her, so that he could hold her hand at that time... i wanted to finish the rosary because she might expire at any time... thankfully, she didn't just yet...

all her siblings were there (except for 1 who went to Bicol to his own family) all 8 of them remaining... but i believe that the 2 others were there too, waiting for her to come with them to that better place where she would suffer no more from her body..  but to me, it seemed like she was just waiting for someone before she left... it was her other brother, Uncle Jer, who just the other day went home to bicol because he had news that she was doing better than the other day... thinking everything was going to be fine, he went ahead, not knowing this would happen... he took the first flight out of legazpi just to try to make it... but what do you know, the plane was recalled to manila for undisclosed reasons... upon letting her know the news, she expired after a couple of minutes...

and now, at least her body rests, her spirit is free, and she can be with all her family whenever she wants to be.. it hurts, but after seeing her suffer, its better this way... she waited for Christmas, and that's it... it's just like her... wanting everyone to be happy even at the gloomiest hour... she chose the perfect day for her to pass, it is the day when everyone is happy together... that's what she would want...



she is survived by three sons, and the most amazing man i know, Tito Manny... Tito Manny was the sole breadwinner, but you would never hear him complain. ever. he kept his solemn promise to Tita Jean of being together through thick and thin... he never left her side... he never went out drinking with us for long.. he would rather stay by Tita Jean's side... No complains. No bitching. No nothing. There was just unconditional love. Stroke or no stroke, he took care of her, and never left her side. The doctors couldn't believe Tita Jean survived this long. If you ask her, this is how she would answer, as she did one time we asked if she was tired: "Pagod na, sobra. Pero kasi, sabi Manny, fight eh."... And that was his mantra everytime to her... fight. and fight, she did... but it had to end some time. And Tito Manny realized that too.. It was only on Saturday night that he decided to let go. Tito Manny has nothing left financially. but that has never been an issue. he could sell all his organs for all he cares just as long as it would suffice to take care of Tita Jean. But we would not let that happen... everyone always tries to chip in somehow to compensate... But that's the kind of guy he is... He decided to let go not because he was giving up on her, but rather because she could feel her suffering, and it's better to have her with the Lord than stay here and suffer physically everyday...

I want to be like him... I can't say I already am, but I want to be... Where the hell can you get a guy like that? He's the kindest, sweetest, guy I've ever met, and he makes mean barbeques and other special dishes... He rarely gets angry especially in front of people, he never asks any help from others as long as he can do it, and he never saw Tita Jean's condition as a chance for him to meet other people... My uncles, my dad, are all good men with unquestionable work ethics and attitudes which made them who they are now, and stand where they are today. they may be great men, but the perfect man i would still say is Tito Manny. They said love won't feed you three times a day... true, but in Tito Manny's case, he'd rather starve than pursue other desires which would keep him away from Tita Jean...


I'm going to miss her dearly... To you who read this, please pray for her... And pleae pray for guidance for Tito Manny, who lost half of his life on the 24th...

...Gawon Christmas party ....




elsa: voltz, lumipat ka na upuan, nosebleed na.

and that was how it was, the feakin Gawon party. Ndi sa nagpapakasosyal, ako, pero kasi kawawa naman un trainer kong kano. Puro ramblings lang naiintindihan habang nagdadaldalan kaming mga Pilipino... Force of habit ba...

Cool party, won every giveaway they had... a ballpen, 3 bracelets, an id holder, and ham. yep. ham. namigay sila... ansaya... hehe... let's see, i got all the gifts through parlor games... just so you know, the company im working with is infested mostly by girls, and onti lang guys... so

parlor game #1: Bring me.
di ako sumali... katamad eh. gamit ko pa nasa kotse... matapos ang mga 5 items na nahingi nila, bumanat si commentator:
Commentator: except me, huh, bring the most handsome guy in this room.

katahimikan.

: si voltz na lang!

pakapalan na ng mukha, di na ko nagpapilit, sabi ko na lang: tara. and so the story for prize number 1.

sa pamilya ko at mga kaklase ko, normal kong gagawin un kahit na naroon sa loob ng room si Chris Tiu. Eh sa makapal mukha ko eh. at gusto ko ng prize.


Parlor game #2: Simon says.

akalain mong mei nagtanung sa kin kung panu daw ang bwakananginang larong ito..

in the end, sumuko ang mga host at binigyan kami ng prize ulit. 5 kami. whoopee.


Parlor game #3: Cake eating contest.
Puro kami mga gutom. nagsipila ang mga tao, at ako'y muli nanamang napilitang sumali, gawa partly ng pagtawag sa kin ni host, partly na rin dahil gutom na ko, at mas malaking part na siguro ang katotohanang makapal mukha ko nun.

Sa ideyang baka mei umatras, binulungan ko isa-isa ang mga kalahok na mukhang gullible.

voltz: brad, ang catch daw ng larong to eh kimchi ang flavor ng cake.
jay: weh? di nga?

it turned out, chocolate naman pala. ang catch eh blindfolded kayong magsusubuan ng cake ng kasama mo. mei style na sana ko, kaso di umubra. hawak ko pa lang kutsara ko eh tapos na un katabi namin. pero dahil sumali kami, mei prize pa rin kami...


tapos mei contest din na para sa lahat ng team(3)... ang mananalo eh makakakuha ng 2500 per team(which contains around 8 members)... pero dahil sa napasaya namin ang mga Koreano eh binigyan na lang lahat ng team ng 2000... at nun uwian eh nagkaayan pang uminom. naisip ko, xempre, sama na ko... di naman i-ccash ng mga TL namin un pera eh... malamang papang gimik lang... so join ako...

sa after party, pinigilan nila kong uminom ng straight... dahil daw magddrive ako... hay.... eh di kinausap ko na lang un trainer kong kano... wla kasi xa makausap eh... at the same time, papaka pet na ko... delikado week ko eh... 2 times late, tpos mga 5 overtime calls... kelangan kumapit sa matatag... tsk...

anywei, after ng after party, starbucks naman trip ng mga loko... sama pa rin xempre, papapoints eh... tangna, ayaw na ayaw ko pa naman gumagastos para sa kape... pero dahil kelangan....


pota. hirap maging sipsip...

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

...our pix from my phone...




kalat kalat na pix.. meron nun minsang paglaruan namin ang headband, meron nun iniingit ko xa ng mga pagkain dito sa bahay habang kami'y nagcchat, at meron naman nang minsang bisitahin nya ko at kakagising ko lang... hehe...

...After paskuhan...




Yeah, di ako nakarating... pero ayon sa balita all i missed were the fireworks... so not much harm done...;p

dahil nakalimutan ng mga adik sa picture ang mga camera nila, naging pokpok ang cellphone kong maarte para sa pichuran nila...

ang liwanag ng eastwood... salamat meralco...:p

Sunday, December 16, 2007

...philo party, DLSU carols...

12/15/07 - date set to be the PHL batch 07 party... until wednesday, i think i had at least 1/4 of the class coming... then by friday, suddenly no one seems to be coming... i had it set. there's no way i'm going to resched. even if 3 people came, its going to be a party... i didn't want to spend much, since i don't have much on me. but i spent more than i expected... doesn't matter... at least i got some of the guys together... and i had Aby Kwe and Corbin come out of isolation... haha... i think i had fun... hopefully, the others did too... its not how i envisioned it, but at least, somehow, we got together, and that's what matters for me...


slept at 7am, woke up at 2pm, told that we were supposed to come by my uncle's house for a small gathering... turned out, it was a DLSU team carolling... as bad as PJ Walsham played, you won't expect him to sing that well... and Rico, for some reason, I knew he would be a good dancer... he didn't disappoint... i'll upload the pix  and videos later....


tomorrow's gonna be the first day i'm going to talk to Koreans... but in the morning im gonna apply for an HR position.. haha... if things don't work out too well there, at least i'll still have the Koreans.. hehe...

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

...eh sa allergic ako sa tanga eh...

tapos ko na ang pukinanginang clearance sa ict sa wakas... na-inspire kasi ako nun sabihan ako nun officemate ko na mei pde pa ko makuha backpay kung maayos un kasi nga resigned naman ako...

eto na. gusto ko lang maglabas ng sama ng loob:

pde ba, pag wala ka alam, magtanung ka na lang?! ndi un nagmamarunong ka?!

oo na, pakialamero na ko. di ko dapat pinapakinggan un usapan ng ibang tao. eh kaso naririnig ko eh... tayuan sa bus, nasa likod ko lang sila... usapan ng 2:

Boy1: di pa rin kaya ni Yao si Shaq.
B2: bakit?
B1: ang laki pa rin ni Shaq eh..

<dito pa lang, naiisip ko nang wlang patutunguhan ang usapan nila. nagkaron lang ng debate ukol sa shaq-yao dahil sa starting spot ng west dati. pero ngaung nasa east na si shaq, it doesn't really matter. isa pa, wla nang silbi si shaq. isang malaking tae na lang xa. mas magaling pa pinapakita ni zo sa kanya. kun di lumipat si zo, nagchampion siguro sana nets, kun tulad ng ginagawa nya ngaun ang gagawin nya sa nets. eh kaso lumipat. belat si diaz, ndi nagchampion nets. ako nagchampion. kahit wala na si caron butler. hehe..>

<<ako naman si gago, nakinig pa rin>>
B1: malakas un sa ano eh... sa pistons..
B2: sino dun?
B1: un ben...
B2: ben wallace?
B1: un ba un?
B2: oo.
B1: un kulot ba un?
B2: oo. kaso nasa bulls na un eh. <hay salamat.>
B1: ha? kelan pa? <huwaaat? promdi ka boy?>
B2: tgal na eh.
B1: mei isa pa wallace eh di ba?
B2: si rasheed?
B1: oo! mabilis un di ba? <huh?>
B2: ha.. uh.... oo. <kaibigan ka nga>
B1: mas mabilis pa un kei iverson di ba? <sabog ka boy?>
B2: ndi ah! <ah..sanity>
B1: ows? mas mabilis pa? <pulis! adik o!>
B2: ndi xmpre si iverson pa rin.
B1: ah.. kala ko mas mabilis pa kei iverson eh... tapos un si dirk.........

di ko na alam sumunod nyang pinagsasasabi. nakinig na lang ako ng sounds. pota eh. galing pa yata ng bundok ng tralala un, kung anu anu pinagsasasabi... kun mga 3 years ago xa nakipagkwentuhan nun mga topics nya siguro kahit panu mei sense un pinagusapan nila. kaso ngaun eh. sakit sa ulo. siguro sila un naaamoy kong lasing. un na lang iisipin ko.


Sunday, December 9, 2007

...PASUKOB, one-day wedding driver (free), antipolo...

FRIDAY: after first week of work, a little R&R shouldn't hurt..  walang pasok December 8, so pde si Che lumabas ng Friday dahil ndi maaga ang Saturday nya.. Salamat sa Jolibee Megamall, bumili kami ng meal, at ayun, meron kaming libreng movie tickets. Libre. So, kahit ano. Meron Golden Compass, Emporium, at iba pa... Dapat Emporium (un toy store na buhay), kaso ewan ko, wla sa mood namin pareho... sabi ko Pasukob. baka funny. sabi nya ayaw. Wendy Ramas kasi un film eh. sabi ko, try lang natin, libre naman eh. baka kasi talagang nakakatawa, sayang naman at ndi un ang pinanood namin....

pinilit kong tumawa. Lord knows i tried. pero ayaw eh... nararamdaman kong bumabagsak ang mga pisngi ko at sumasakit ang ulo ko... meron comedy na nakakatawa sa sobrang corny, pero eto, ndi na nga nakakatawa, pinipilit pa nyang maging corny. pero matinding aral ang napulot ko dun: WENDY RAMAS FILM = Garbage.


SABADO:
(prelude)

Eksena:

pa: mei lakad ka sa sabado?     

Me: wala naman po.      

Pa: kasal kasi ng anak ni Susan (Dating longtime katulong pero family friend ng pamilya ni papa mula pa nun dahil nga sa pagsilbi kei lolo) eh, ninong ako. Sabi nila wala daw silang bridal car, magttricycle lang daw ung bagong kasal. Naawa naman ako, sabi ko gamitin na lang ung puti (Lancer). Ikaw na magdrive.    


Me: ....          


Akala ko, pag mei trabaho na ko, matitigil na tong mga impromptu pagpplano sa buhay ko.. But no... Naging habit na siguro.. Pinapagalitan nila ko nun student council days kc nagpapakabayani daw ako sa mga tao, eh wla naman ako kikitain dun.. Naisip ko, at least kun gusto ko tumulong at mag-effort, wala akong dinadamay sa kabayanihan ko.. Eh eto?! Pota talaga..

Sa kasal:

"Ang pinapakasalan mo ngayon, Analyn, ay hindi isang Jansen na perpekto. Sa pagpunta ninyo dito ngayon, tinatanggap mo ang kanyang buong pagkatao, kung ano man siya noon, kun sino siya ngayon, at kung magiging sino siya."

Ang intro ng pari tungkol sa mga bilihin, tungkol sa hirap ng buhay.. Tama naman mga sinabi nya.. Nakakatuwa kasi parang tinakot pa nya un ikakasal, na kahit anung sweet nila ngayon eh pagpatak ng mga ika-6 na buwan nilang mag-asawa eh nagmumurahan na at nagsasakitan, at baka lumabas na ung mga "kung alam ko lang na ganito ka, sana di na lang kita pinakasalan!" 

paglakad sa altar, tila kilala nila ang isa't isa, pero paglipas ng panahong magkasama sila, parang nagiging ibang tao na yung isa.. Bukod sa kanilang dalawa, hawak din ng Diyos ang mga kamay nila.. Ang kasal ay isang pangako, isang sumpa sa harap ng Diyos, isang pagtanggap sa buong pagkatao ng mapapangasawa, ang kanyang nakaraan, ang kanyang ngayon, at ang kanyang hinaharap.. May mga naghihiwalay dahil sinisisi nila ang hinaharap na hindi nila nakita noong ikinasal sila.. Pero tulad ng lahat ng pangako, lalo pa'T isang sumpa sa harap ng Diyos, nararapat lang siguro na kasama mo ang sinumpaan mo noong ikinasal ka, nagkasala ka man sa kanya, tulungan mo ang sarili mong itama ang sarili mo.. Noong sumumpa ka, siya at ang Diyos ang mga kasama mo, ang iba ay mga nakikain lng sa reception.. Wala nang iba kundi kayong tatlo.. Sa habambuhay sana, kayong tatlo pa din ang magkasama.. Kahit wala na ang iba..                        

Wala pa nman akong kaibigang kasal.. Wala pa namang sumusumpa.. Pero naisip ko lang, tama din ung sinabi nung pari.. Di mo kailangang sumuko..di pdeng gawing dahilan ang mga kasalanang nagawa, o di kya'y ang mga pangarap na di natupad.. Basta un isang pangako na un sa harap ng Diyos ay mapanindigan..                

Mei natutunan ako, pero di ibig sabihin natutuwa ako..

SABADO ng Gabi: humabol ako sa mga pinsan kong nag-inuman, habang ako ay nag-alay ng serbisyo. pagdating ko sa bahay ni pinsan, wasak na ang isa, inaantok na ang isa, at ang host eh ok pa naman. habang sinisimulan panoorin ang "I Know Who Killed Me" ni Lindsay Lohan salamat sa piratang DVD ng pinsan ko, knockout na un 2 ko pinsan, at mei 2 box pa ng pizza nakakalat. Ang laman ng wallet ko ay tumatagingting na 20pesoses. pag nahuli ako ng MMDA, baka ikulong ako dahil wala akong pang suhol. kaya ang ingat ko. pero naiisip ko pa kasi pumunta ng antipolo kasama si che for star gazing at overlooking. paano mangyayari? eto na, si Voltaire, namburaot sa pinsan. dumampot ng 2 bote ng beer, kalahating bote ng 1.5 liter na pepsi, kalahating box ng pizza hut pizza, bottle opener, at isang choco knot (na ndi ko pa nakakain). all set for a picnic, kahit walang pera.

Eksena sa utak ko: 2 kami sitting on the roof ng anfra, un anfra parallel sa gilid ng road, kami naman nakaoverlook sa matinding view pag nakaupo sa bubong, tpos super stargazing pag humiga sa bubong. overlooking while eating stuff na naburaot.

Actual na nangyari: Antipolo, kasama si Che (na walang jacket at naka sleeveless na damit. mei sipon pa. imagine mo na lang ang ngatog nya.). akyat kami ng ever popular Cloud 9, thinking na pde kami magpark at chill na lang. unang problema: baduy ng view. pangalawang problema: wla kami pera. pde sana kami magstay sa isa sa mga pav nila, ang kaso, ndi nakakatuwa un mga tao sa paligid. parang kanina pa lasing. at marami sila. di naman lahat magkakasama, pero marami lang sila, at makakasira ng mood lalo sa eksenang naisip ko. ndi enjoyable, ndi sweet. naghanap pa kami. kaso puro resto na mei bayad.

nakakainis. wala na un freedom sa antipolo. wala na un stop ka lang sa gilid tpos look at the view. siguro pde pa rin gawin un, kaso wala na un magagandang view. either nahaharang ng mga punong ayaw pang putulin, o di kaya'y nahaharang nga mga establishment. kun titigil ka rin sa isang tabi, andaming jologs na naglalakad. ndi na rin safe.. haay.. the good 'ol days... takbo na lang kaya ako governor ng antipolo? tpos pasara ko mga putanginang mga un... para mas clear ang kalsada sa mga tulad ko kagabi na gusto magpaka-emo... peste talga..


so in the end, we still got to eat some food and stay on top of the car... un nga lang sa dulo ng street namin... di rin naman kami nagtagal, kasi nga kun nagtagal pa kami, eh popsicle na si che ngaun...


potang mga mayayaman at gusto kumita ng pera. pati ang emo ginagawan nyo ng paraan para kumita kayo... wala na ang magic ng antipolo. un magic at excitement na dala ng pangalan na un nun bata ako eh naging isang lugar na lang sa isip ko dahil sa naranasan ko kagabi...  syet tlga...

Thursday, December 6, 2007

... manipulation...

wala lang, gusto ko lang ilabas, parati ko kasi nakikita sa news, wala naman ako makausap o mapagsabihan....

tangnang Pilipinas at pulitika.... lumalakas daw ang piso kahit na nagkaron ng kaguluhan sa makati kamakailan dahil kung ikumpara sa dolyar ng estados unidos eh tumataas pa ang halaga nito... samantalang si kanong trainer ko eh natatakot na sa unti unting pagbaba ng halaga ng dolyar... di ko pa talaga nakikita, pero kumpara kaya sa euro, lumalaki ang halaga ng piso??? kasi kun palabasin sa balita parang ang galing ng presidente dahil nagagawa nyang stable ang ekonomiya, pero ang totoo eh kumukuha lang xa ng puri sa pagbaba ng dolyar at pinapalabas na piso ang tumataas... kung ito lang ang dalawang currency sa mundo, maaaring ibig sabihin ng pagbaba ng isa ay ang pagtaas ng isa pa... kaso madami pang currency eh... kaya ndi ako naniniwalang tumataas talaga ang halaga ng piso dahil bumababa ang dolyar... mukha lang siguro...

 

pana-panahon lang siguro yan...

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

...working(kinda), champ's league, and i don't know...

i think this is work... korean tutor. it's something where i earn, so, i think this is good for now... what i learned by staying home is that though its cool to be a bum, it isn't when you want to go out... and you can't really choose the job you want to do especially if you're a fresh grad... you know all those people telling you that "you should look for work that you have a passion for, which you love doing."? its bullshit.. if you did that you'd be jobless for a long time... except maybe if your passion is wiping old peoples' asses in the states then, no problem, be my guest and join the bandwagon. (no offense to nursing people.. i just live with that misconception, though i know there's a lot more to it than that...) what i'm saying is if you have a passion for something that's really in demand, then you don't have a problem... but if you had passion for music, for example, you have to make a name for yourself as an artist before you can actually earn something from that passion (which would most probably be less than what is due to you with piracy and all)... as for me, i think i want to be a sports analyst... but i can't be one as a fresh grad... hopefully, with perseverance, a lot of practice speaking, a great deal of luck, and hell, why not even some connections; i will get to where i want to be... but right now, i have to be korean teacher rudolf... but i'm still in training... hopefully korean kids won't be hard to understand... the only korean word i know right now is jiampong... and i don't even know if its supposed to be right.. gago lucky me eh...


champs league was won by ateneo. uv was 2nd, sti was surprisingly 3rd after lucky 3pt shots came their way to seal an overtime victory over the tigers... demmit... tigers did their best... just so happened the shots fell down for the oldies in sti (balneg mentioned he played in ncaa, i just don't know which team, and howard flor: i know he was a bulldog just last year)... then i was thinking, maybe, just maybe, fil-oil owner was atenean... or organizers were... la salle and ue pulled out for their own reasons, la salle, since their players needed a break, while ue pulled out, understandably upset because despite having a perfect season in the past uaap season (but unfortunately losing both finals games), they were ranked 4th behind the eagles, who on their part, had to battle some obstacles to claim their 3rd spot in the uaap men's basketball tourney... now, i don't know if its "redemption" on their part for winning the title, but i don't know, maybe nothing's changed... they're still behind la salle and ue... and even though  the tigers lost to them, and didn't even get the 3rd place finish, i still believe the best game of that tournament was the tigers-lions game, the matchup of last year's champions of their leagues... battle of the cats.. haha... and we won without jervy, but they lost without aljamal... odds evened out? maybe, maybe not... aljamal may be a big part of that team, but jervy is too... but who knows, maybe yousif gives the team that extra boost nobody else can fill in the team... anyway, still good win for the tigers...


ha... december, the month of christmas (and parties) is upon us... i hope the philo class party would push through... i kinda miss the fuckers.. haha...