...LTO Chronicles, Sports rants, Mike D...

I'll be breaking off from my slew of emo blogs.

Funniest thing happened. Back story's gonna sell it.

So my younger brother is set to get his Driver's License a year ago. He attended driving school, and had his student's permit and all, and all he had to do now was get his license.

Trial #1:

Went to LTO Marikina, which is one jeep away from home. Had his drug test and medical for requirements. Then when he got to the window, he was told he can't get a new license there, as they don't process new licenses ther.

Result: No license.

Trial #2:

Went to San Juan, where cousin Tats went with him. He went to the same LTO branch where I got my license. As luck would have it, they were stuck in traffic for about 3 hours. And by the time they got to the LTO, they weren't taking any more applicants.

Result: No license.

Trial #3:

Went back to San Juan, where my mom decided to go with him. Apparently, the drug test and medical test that he took in Marikina were only valid in Marikina. So they had to re-do the whole thing. And by the time they got to the next step, the place experienced power failure.

Result: No license.

His Student's Permit expired, and you can't get a new license if you don't have a Student's Permit.

Trial #4:

New Student's License application time. He was asked for his Tax Identification Number. He didn't have one, as he is still a student. But LTO insisted that he must have one, or else they can't give him a Student's Permit.

Result: No permit, no nothing.

He went on to get a TIN number, a different adventure I wouldn't dwell on. Point is, he got it.

Trial #5:

After getting a Student's Permit, one can apply for a new lisence after a month, I think. So he had that wait and now, it was his chance. I came with him today to LTO Taytay to finally get it over with. He went in to the medical exam room, and after a few minutes, the PA system blurted out:

"Sa mga bagong dating po, advisory lang. Sira po ang system ng LTO nationwide. Nagcrash po ang system ng central LTO. Kaya po wala po munang maiissue na bagong lisensya o rehistro ng sasakyan"

Result: oh yeah, you guessed it.

Tomorrow is probably gonna be another day, but man, with this guy's luck in getting a new license, all I could say was, I don't think I'm even worthy to be in his presnece. It's like the universe conspires for him not to get his license.
=================================================================

UEFA Camping

I was freakin sleepy last night, but the UEFA Champions League final was to be played at around 1AM, or so the scedule says. Cousins Gino and Jason were here, and I convinced Tats to come by insisting on picking him up. We bought some junk food in Mini Stop that I hoped would keep us awake through the match, but what do you know, the match started at 2:45AM. Gino was wasted, Tats was playing DoTA, Jason fell asleep in the comfort room, and I was about to drift away. I watched the first 7 minutes of the match, and unknowingly closed my eyes. Tats then just made a comment that it was 1-nil to Barca. Now, anyone who watches (or doesn't) football knows that goals are hard to come by, that one goal could mean the whole match. I missed the rare freakin feat.

Anyway, I was drifting between dreamworld and reality while watching the game. I woke up to a thunderous cross by Xavi that looked like a high through pass, but it suddenly curved toward Lionel Messi, and there you go, 2-nil, with 20mins to go before stoppage time. I should've slept right there, but it was Manchester U, after all, so they might, MIGHT, just make a goal. I waited, and waited, but eventually, the match was stopped. And I slept.

Woke up at around 6:45AM to diss the ManU fan in Gino. Haha...

==================================================================

Denver vs LAL Game 5

Because of the Trial#5, I almost missed game 5. We came home just in time for the third quarter of the game. It was tight throughout, with both teams finishing each quarter in a tied game. The third quarter proved no different.

And then there was the 9-0 blast by the Lakers to start the 4th. Now, I'm not a fan of Kobe. I hate the guy. I'm a D-Wade fan. And a CP3 believer. But Kobe? No. But I wanted the Lakers to win this year. I had Lebron winning the season MVP award, but Kobe getting his Finals MVP award. I've been saying that for the longest time. Seeing Kobe play is stunning, to say the least. He was finesse basketball personified. Lebron couldn't move the same way Kobe does even if he wanted to. I'm not saying Lebron < Kobe or the other way around, it's just that it's different, the way they move in the hardwood.

I hate that I'm becoming a Kobe fan. I want Denver to win because they're long overdue, but I still want my prediction to stick.

Lakers in 7.

==================================================================

Cleveland vs Orlando

I had Cleveland winning the series. But down 3-1? Man. That's gonna be tough. Considering they kinda "stole" game 2 with a Lebron miracle. They need to win by at least 25 points at the Q next game to show they are "the" best team in basketball, as Mo Williams said.

Though I want Cleveland to win, I think Lakers have a better chance winning the championship if ithey face Orlando in the finals. Besides, Orlando vs Denver/Lakers isn't as appealing as Cleveland vs Denver/Lakers['03 #1 pick/MVP vs . '03 #3(Darko was #2)/MVP]...

Orlando in 6. If it goes back to Cleveland for 7, Orlando just threw their biggest chance away. 
=================================================================

Mike Defensor and His "Honor" Case

Hearing was scheduled for today. My dad went. Some of my Uncles did too. Of course Uncle Jun was there in the senate. They were at the stage Mike Defensor claimed was the proper one to address his issue.

He didn't show up. Apparently, as Inquirer.net reported, he dropped the case against Uncle Jun, saying he wouldn't recieve "impartial justice" or something. Why does everything have to be unfair if they don't win? Ewan. I would want to elaborate further, but you all know what I mean.

...on dealing with issues...

Now here's why I mastered the art of showing people that everything's fine. When you got a family who listens to drama all the time, you will actually learn to just smile even when everything's crappy.

Scene1: (Sunday morning, me about to take breakfast)
Back story - I don't talk to my dad very often. But from time to time, I show interest in his hobbies so that we may talk about something, so that he won't always have to say that nobody talks to him at home. I didn't tell him personally what happened.

Pa: (grabs camera and shows off a Volkswagen set up by his friend)
Me: Ganda ah.
Pa: Ganda no? Pwes, dahil wala ka nang girlfriend, bigay mo na lang sa kin 30% ng sweldo mo para makapagpagawa ako nito. Nang magkapangarap naman yang pera mo.
Me: (thinking, wanting to say it - ndi ba pdeng magkaron ng sariling pangarap pera ko?)

Scene2: (Saturday afternoon, visiting Uncle Owe) Part1
Jon text message: kakahiwalay lang ni ter at che. wag mo na muna xa asarin.
Uncle Owe reply: di ko naman siya aasarin eh. AALASKAHIN ko lang. wahahhahaha

Scene3: (Saturday night, visiting Uncle Owe) Part2
Uncle Owe: Kwento ka muna. Anu nangyari?
Me: Eh.. Wala naman, nag-usap kami...
Uncle Owe: Eh di ndi na kami mahihirapan maghagilap sa yo? Wala ka nang sinusundo eh.. Wahahahahahaaha..
Me: haha.. Siguro.
Uncle Owe: Buti ndi ka naaksidente papunta dito, baka naman nagwa-wiper ka, eh ndi naman sa windshield un basa! wahahahaha...
Me: haha.. Ok lang naman, nakabyahe naman na..
Uncle Owe: Baka naman baha sa loob ng lancer! Wahahhahahaha
Me: haha..

Scene4: (visiting Reinosa)
(upon arrival)
Tita Oyes: Ter! Lika nga dito, upooooo... inoooommm... iyaaaakkk!!! wahahahha
Me: haha.. di naman ako umiinom pag mei problema eh.
Tita Oyes: Indeeee.. Uminom ka!! Maglasing ka!! Gusto kita makitang umiiyak!!!
(to her defense, nag-usap naman kami ng matino ni Tita Oyes away from the sacred tong-it table.)

Ah, yes, genuine tender loving care in action. And talk about sensitivity, you'll find none better than my dad.

[[[Note: This was supposed to be a longer blog. I guess the Guy up there drags my fingers to just delete whatever I said as it wouldn't be appropriate, knowing I just wanted to share that part I just did. There are stuff that must be left between us na lang.]]]]

...how do you say this...

YM Status

chemckeyred period. tapos na.

syrinx_628 Life = where "i hope it's you" can become "broken strings"

====================================================
Facebook Status

voltaire lozada went from being "in a relationship" to "single"

che is now "single"

=====================================================

I know I said I wouldn't blog about it anymore. But I guess, with what seemed to be a good thing going suddenly stopping abruptly, I think I'll kinda speak up, for everyone who wound up being speechless.

It hurts for us both. Truly it does. Words fall short of describing how this feels for the both of us. Why break up, then, if it hurts for us to be apart? Well, because we might eventually hurt each other more in the long run. It hurts now, but imagine how difficult it might be if we realize this after 5 more years.

To make it clear, there is no "other" on both our ends. This was, as I said, a necessary break up. I'm not saying it's wrong, what happened, but I don't think we can grow together. We have to do it apart.

Blame it work. Blame it on seeing too much of each other. Blame it on the stupid cellphone. I don't really care. What matters is we talked, and we understood what must happen.

She was my everything. I know I was too. But when a term [I love you] becomes equivocal, one (A) has to realize that it would be unfair to keep it up. And the other (B) must understand that one(A) is doing a sacrifice by letting go.

After 4 years and some months, we're both walking on unfamiliar territory: single land. For all these years, we've always been together. It's hard to become a nobody in your best friend's life after a single, life changing event. We remain friends, there's no bad blood between us. We're both hurting, adjusting, coping, but there's no blaming, cursing, or hating going on.

For family and friends who get to read this, this is fine, really. We need it. Doesn't mean I have to like it, but we need it. I hope this thing called "breaking up" doesn't change the way you see Che.

For her friends and family who get to read this, I'm sorry. I made a promise to her dad, and we talked. I give her back, no more, no less, probably less of a child, and more of a person, but, I'm giving her back with all her dignity and pride. Take care of her, as I wouldn't be able to as much as I did before.

We'll see each other again, we'll be friends, of course, why wouldn't we be?
I just need time, not to forget about her, but rather to set my perspective right, i.e. that I must see her as a friend, and not my everything.

4 years did not go to waste. I regret no second of it. Maybe eventually, we'll end up back together, who knows, but I'm not pushing it.

 Pero ayoko umasa. Ayoko umasa din siya. Dahil habang umaasa kami, hinihintay rin namin na kami rin sa huli, tinatali pa rin namin ang sarili namin sa isa't isa. Tama na. Oras na siguro para magmahal at masaktan kami sa piling ng ibang tao. Oras na para bigyan namin ang sarili namin ng pagkakataon na maging "ako" ako, at "siya" siya, at hindi parating "kami".

I don't think I need advice. This hurts like hell, but sometimes you gotta take those training wheels off your bike to actually learn.Company's always good, so thank you for everyone who offered to talk about it. Don't feel bad if you don't have the right words to say, because even if you did have the right words, it wouldn't make things feel better.

My network and hers are so intertwined that I feel us breaking up would make it seem so awkward for everyone around us. Believe me, we're good. Nobody needs to avoid anybody. We could all still hang out sometime.

Just not now. But soon. Not to forget, but rather to re-set boundaries. To know my place. To know, in myself, where she should be.

I'll be fine, when I go out to drink again. I don't drink when I have something deep troubling me. It makes me feel more miserable than I already am. Drinking, I think, should always be fun.

(My mom's probably thinking I should "break up" with people more often if THAT keeps me away from alcohol... hehe..)
===============================================================

So this is how it feels like... Letting go of the one you love...

Thank you people, for being there, for both of us. Please don't push us to get back together, because I know I would want that, but it shouldn't be. Not now, not soon, probably in the distant future, but definitely not now, not soon. If you want to help, help us be just friends.

...Abusing my ears, the lyric blog...

"Breakeven"

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got tI'me while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man thats gonna put her 1st
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But not wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cos she's moved on while I'm still grieving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains
Cos you left me with no love, no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got tI'me while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)


==========================================================

"A Bad Dream"

Why do I have to fly
Over every town up and down the line?
I'll die in the clouds above
And you that I defend, I do not love

I wake up, it's a bad dream
No one on my side
I was fighting
But I just feel too tired
To be fighting
Guess I'm not the fighting kind

Where will I meet my fate?
Baby I'm a man, I was born to hate
And when will I meet my end?
In a better time you could be my friend

I wake up, it's a bad dream
No one on my side
I was fighting
But I just feel too tired
To be fighting
Guess I'm not the fighting kind
Wouldn't mind it
If you were by my side
But you're long gone
Yeah you're long gone now

Where do we go?
I don't even know
My strange old face
And I'm thinking about those days
And I'm thinking about those days

I wake up, it's a bad dream
No one on my side
I was fighting
But I just feel too tired
To be fighting
Guess I'm not the fighting kind
Wouldn't mind it
If you were by my side
But you're long gone
Yeah you're long gone now

=================================================================
"Tonight"

I remember the times we spent together
on those drives
We had a million questions
all about our lives
and when we got to New York
everything felt right
I wish you were here with me
tonight

I remember the days we spent together
were not enough
and it used to feel like dreamin'
except we always woke up
Never thought not having you
here now would hurt so much

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
and know the stars are
holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight

I remember the time you told me about when you were eight
And all those things you said that night that just couldn't wait
I remember the car you were last seen in
and the games we would play
All the times we spilled our coffees
and stayed out way too late
I remember the time you sat and told me about your Jesus
and how not to look back even if no one believes us
When it hurt so bad sometimes
not having you here...

I sing,
"Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
and know the stars are
holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight"

I sing,
"Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
and know the stars are
holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight"
====================================================================

...now what?...

i don't want to blog. i can't. about it. but it's the only thing i've got. it's the only thing i know. funny i got a random message from ana v yesterday that i never knew would be so appropriate:

"a sense of purpose is the best driving force to live... coz when you have a reason to live, you will never have a reason to quit..."

so what happens if the purpose is gone? do i quit?

i saw it coming. it was necessary. i'm not mad. i'm hurt. because it hurts. i don't blame anyone. i don't hate anyone. it just has to happen. doesn't mean i have to like it. but we need it. i guess.

i hate being alone. but i guess that's what i've always been.

 

...without her...

 

sorry. if you read this. it's my last. i won't spare details. i just had to have something. i wouldn't be able to talk to anyone anyway. still, i'd come to your defense if anyone takes this the wrong way. thanks. for everything.

just when i said i was fine with my wingmen, both can't help. just when i realized i didn't have a friend-friend, this happens.

...On Starbucks, Alec Baldwin, and Friends,

I was never a fan of Starbucks. They're coffee is expensive, everyone thinks it's "cool" to hang out there (making it filled with people from class A down to E), and add to the fact that I'm not a coffee drinker. But after yet another episode of the waiting game with Che, I think I finally appreciated actually spending on a Starbucks...

PDF book in hand (via Bookr-PSP PDF reader application), Boys Night Out plugged on my cellphone radio, my wallet serving as paperweight for my tissue, and a Dark Mocha Berry Frappucino on the table of a quiet Starbucks (mainly because it's a 24-hour shop not commuter-friendly, but is directly below a callcenter, which has employees coming in after 8PM at the earliest), sitting on a comfy chair by the corner did the trick.

Besides, it was an avenue to get to know people from work (the old people) because they always treated me to it after lunch ("always" here is all the time they invited me, which was like, 5 times), and I got to talk to a seemingly impenetrable person, though I felt he had such a short attention span.

Anyway, good things happen in Starbucks. If only I had the money to burn on overpriced beverages everyday.
==============================================================
On "Offending" comments and "Mayhem"

David Letterman: So being in a big family, are you planning to have a big family yourself?
Alec Baldwin: Yeah, yeah, I'm actually planning to get a mail-order Filipina wife. Or Russian.
David Letterman: Or from me. Later.
(laughter)

Dahil sa komentong ito, "nanggalaiti" ang "butihing" mambabatas na si Bong Revilla (di ko magawang lagyan ng "Senador" sa simula.) dahil niyuyurakan umano nito ang pagkatao ng mga Pilipino, at dahil dito ay babasagin daw nya ang mukha ng aktor kun tumungtong siya sa bansa. Ilang mambabatas rin na mga babae ang humihingi ng isang paumanhin mula kei Baldwin.

Sa akin lang: yun nangyari sa Desperate Housewives, yun, nakakabastos. Nagpapakahirap ang mga nurse na dumadayo sa bansa nila tapos gaganunin lang nila. (Sa ndi nakakaalam, ang lumalabas na nais nilang iparating ay ndi maganda ang kalidad ng mga nurse na Pilipino)

Etong tila pagkilala ni Alec Baldwin na mapupulutan ng mail-order wife ang Pilipinas ay, oo, nakakabastos, pero ndi ko naman masyadong naramdaman na "nayurakan" ang pagka-Pilipino ko. Sa Q.Ave andaming nakapila. Ang ilang mga kalye ay nagliliwanag sa gabi habang ang mga babae ay nakapilang nakaupo sa labas ng lugar nila. Laganap ang putahan sa bansa. Eh ano naman ang ginagawa ng mga mamababatas para baguhin ito? Tansha ko eh magpasa ng mga batas na ndi naman nasusunod.

Puro palabas. Malapit rin sa eleksyon noong ni-raid ni Bong Revilla ang Quiapo ng mga piratang DVD. Matapos ang ilang araw, ayun nanaman ang Quiapo. At hanggang ngayon andyan pa rin ang Quiapo. At ang mga DVD.

Oo, pirata rin naman ako, at nakikinabang din sa mga produkto ng Quiapo. Di ako nagmamalinis. Naiinis lang ako kasi pinapalabas ng mga mambabatas na ito eh mei nagagawa sila upang aksyunan ang pag-ayos ng imahe ng ating bansa habang ang katotohanan ay nagpapakitang gilas lang sila.Parang yung batang inutusan mo maglinis. Ipapakita nya na nalinis na nya ang kwarto nya, p ero ang totoo, pag binuksan mo un cabinet, makikta mong sobrang kalat at ndi nakatupi ang mga damit nya, at pag tiningnan mo ang ilalim ng kama ay naroon lahat ng alikabok. Pakita lang sa tao na mei nagawa na xa, pero nakatago lang sa ndi mapanuring mata ang lahat ng dumi.

Ndi ako pumapanig kei Alec Baldwin. Ang punto ko lang, nagsabi lang siya ng isang katotohanan, bakit ganito naman mag-pupuputok ang mga mambabatas at ndi na lang nila patunayan na ndi talaga ganun ang Pilipinas? Na totoong natutupad ang mga batas na meron sila? Dapat siguro mei magdala sa mga mambabatas na ito sa Q.Ave man lang.

Nabanggit din ang mga Russian dun. Mei narinig ba kayo tungkol sa mga senador nila?

Uso ba talaga sa gobyernong ito ang pag-usig sa nagsasabi ng totoo? Kung mali ang sinabi, patunayan, at magpakita ng ebidensya kesa mang-hingi ng "sorry" at mang-banta.
=================================================================
On Friends

Girls have it better. They can have fun, they can be emotional, and they know where to draw the line. Guys? We have fun, but when a guy gets emotional, the others either change topic, draw their attention on hobbies, drown in alcohol, think you're gay, or if he's really unlucky, have a giant bottle of Colt 45 fall on him.

So being a guy, and having lots of friends, I don't necessarily have to fall prey to being lonesome. But I have a feeling I am.

I have made close friends out of people. But, these people have different perspectives. And at some point, meaning, after the pour-out session, some just don't know when to shut up, some don't know which is a touchy issue that still cannot be talked about, some use what they knwo to somewhat blackmail you, and some are just plain insensitive. There are exceptions, of course.

Maybe it's because of finishing a book about friends that I suddenly yearn for a "best friend".

But at the end of the day, I'm still a guy. I'm bound not to have a "best friend" without us being labelled as Rovilson and Marc wannabes. Right now, I'm fine with my wingmen. I got my everything in Che anyway.

...just not a friend-friend.

...On Growing Up, MiRC, Letters, and Coors Light...

Peter posted an album filled with our faces of two years ago. It was fun to look back at those days, but one thing became apparent to me: we grow taller as we grow older, right? So does it necessarily mean that we have to grow wider if we've reached our peak height?

In two years (well, time is according to the post), we've all grown.."wider". Heck, Robert and him losing like 50 pounds now still looks "slimmer" in Peter's pics.

As I look back in the pictures of old, I see that I've progressively turned fatter and fatter. And now I'm a pig compared to how I looked like back when I was in 3rd year high school, when people were still wondering where in my body do I place all the food I eat.

=========================================================

MiRC - #DALnet, #undernet

Kids, before there was Friendster, Multiply, Facebook, Twitter, and whatnot, there was MiRC. It was a freeware to be installed and it would work like a conference in Yahoo! Messenger. You could enter in random rooms or create your own ones. There were bots who you could program to be the "server" of your channel to make it legit, I think. And these same bots you could actually program to make quizzes for you and your friends in the channel.

I was a late-bloomer for this thing. I learned it mid 4th year high school, and stopped by summer going to college. Mainly because nobody's online anymore.

But this was the thing back then for online interaction. What started out as a mere outlet for passing assignments became a regular nightly habit for channels #410 and #dbsmanila. I got to meet the people most of my classmates already knew from before. We didn't need the school-sanctioned "interaction"(1) because we had MiRC.

Wala lang. Naalala ko lang. I met friends there who I would eventually grow close to. And would later lose in touch with. But it was fun while it lasted. Who knows, maybe me and my Multiply and Facebook(2) contacts would eventually lose touch too, but I'm enjoying this while it's here.

=================================================================
Letters from the Box

I was looking through my drawers and saw the letters I've kept from people who wrote to me. In this day and age where a three-page handwritten message would probably be unheard of, what with all the means of communication (text unli, call unli, email, homing pigeons), these letters have turned out to be somewhat rare. And it made me feel.. significant.

At the same time though, it made me realize just how temporary everything is.

I dug up some retreat letters from high school friends. Most were really more of a group message thing, but some actually tried to make sense. I was probably close to a couple of persons, and I don't know why I don't talk to them anymore. Heck, they probably won't even read this, as it happened pre-Multiply days.

There was a 3 part colorful letter from my crush back then who later chose this really good-looking girl-guy (she's a handsome girl. And tall. Really, tall.). It was insignificant, really, the stuff she wrote, but because of the effort, the folds, the paper, the colorful pens used, it was special to me back then.

There was a really long letter from my grad ball date. I think we were close. But I haven't got a clue how she is now.

Then there was one from a person I don't know how I met, actually, and I don't even know how we even talked, nor do I have any idea how she air-mailed a greeting card for a birthday of mine. Yes, air mail. Such a thing actually existed.

There was a letter from my ex filled with grammatical errors and just plain funny kid stuff. Considering she claimed to be good in English, reading it made me feel like Einstein.

I also found a letter not addressed to me, but was about me, and handed to me by the person addressed on the letter. It was "emotionally filled" with a bit of profanity, some threats, and frustrations, which she later revealed in the letter, was caused by Sta Lucia's defeat to San Miguel. This was back when I was in 2nd year high school, when I didn't even watch UAAP.

There were Ynee's letters there, some glittery, all had her own lettering as intro, and mostly related to running for SDP, and some random stuff too.

I dug up a letter from Mina and a couple from Tina, with the latter's letters actually making more sense now than it probably did back then.

Then there were Issa's classroom boredom letters, filled with her "confused" state for this "po-wet" guy. (3)

I didn't read all of them. I just looked. And tried to remember the circumstances we were in during the time those letters was passed on. I tried to remember how close we were to be doing such efforts to write such letters.

And the one thing that I realized, is that everything has it's time. It won't all be short, not all will be really long, but during the time that it's happening, I just have to enjoy it. It may seem like I was a significant person in one's life at one point, and now I'm nothing but another name in the contacts list, but at least I happened by one's life. And at that point I was significant. I existed.(4)

==================================================================

On Beers...

My first beer was San Miguel Pale Pilsen. I got a taste of it back in grade 2 I think, near my birthday.

Tito Nandy: Malapit na birthday mo ah!
Me: (shy type) ...
Tito Nandy: (Gets 100pesos from wallet) O..Pa-birthday ko seio.
Me: (head down) Thank you po...
Tito Nandy: Shot ka muna.
Me: Ayaw ko po...
Tito Nandy: Sige na. Mabuti pang matuto ka nang uminom, wag ka lang magkaron ng ibang bisyo.
Uncle Jer: Oo nga. Ndi naman maiiwasan magkabisyo eh, kaya ok na yan kesa matulad ka sa king nag-yoyosi.
Me: (sips) blech...
Uncles: (laughter)

Eventually, 1st year high school, I think, I started to drink a bit. It was "cool" in the ultra-testosterone filled school (5).

I got to taste San Mig Light and I liked it.

I tasted Red Horse with Uncle Owe, Kleng, Gae, and I don't know who else, but it was in Libis. I thought it was the same, probably tasted a bit different, but it was the same. But when I stood up after a couple of cold ones, boom! I couldn't walk straight. Yun pala ung "sipa".

Then there was San Mig Strong Ice. After tasting it, I hated San Mig Light, and reverted back to Pale when Strong Ice wasn't available..

Uncle Owe was also the guy who introduced me to Cerveza Negra. I don't know how I ended up in his car, but we had a detour in Shangri-La to meet a friend of his, and he treated us to some cold ones while they talked. I thought at that time that Cerveza Negra was a rare beer so I savored every bit of it. Now, I can order it in most bars I go to.

Tsing Tao, a Chinese beer, was introduced to me and to all of us, by Uncle Jun, at their place, at one Christmas. It tasted...well, Chinese.

Colt 45 was a bit of a mystery for me, but it took a while before I actually tried it, what with seeing my sister wasted by it when she was in her 4th year in high school. It was also one of my substitutes for Strong Ice.

Colt Ice was something I tried in Gutson's Morato with I don't know who.

And then there's Coors. Friends already told me it wasn't that good of a beer. Some people I know say it's not that bad, mostly of the female kind, and I'm assuming it was because it was free the first time they tried it(6). Then I saw it, and tried it. All I can say, is the best thing about that beer, is probably the picture of the mountain that turns blue if it's cold. Other than that, it's crap, and would make San Mig Light seem like Red Horse.

Beer drinkers should stay away from that crap. "Starters", though, could order this when their friends chug away at buckets of SMB products. That way, it may seem like you're drinking as much bottles as they are, but your 3 bottles are actually like just 1 SMB light.
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Sidecomment: I'm feeling a couple of PM's are coming my way upon these people reading my post. If not a PM, a text message with emphasis on certain said things may be coming. haha... I'm just saying, I won't be surprised.=P

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Footnotes:

(1) ineteraction - when one exclusive girl school meets with an exclusive boy school in a school sanctioned event meant for these kids to know the "opposite sex" through fun activities formulated by assigned organizers.

(2) Friendster's out. I check it about, once or twice a month. And only if I'm bored to my brains.

(3) Che's letters won't be dug up here. I have my "Bebeh Box", which is actually the box of the toy car she used on the best (and most elaborate) Valentine's day of my life.

(4) Originally, "I" was penned as "you", but considering Philo friends who might not share the existentialist perspective I have with the situation, inangkin ko na lang. hehe..

(5)  well, at least when I got there. Estrogen was filling up as years went by, and the highlight of it was a grade 5 group "desecrating" the "proving grounds" that was Mary Help of Christians plaza (the place to be when guys decide to settle their differences through pushing and an arsenal of "ano?") by holding a "meeting" of gay kids there. I don't know how "manly" DBTC is right now.

(6) CASA GA @ Warehouse, EJ's term as president

...my birthday adventure...

I planned on a house party last saturday. I didn't want something big, last time I did, I didn't know where to place myself in. I think last time I had family, SDP, high school, and college friends over. This year, I didn't bother inviting high school friends, as I wouldn't be able to entertain them much, and I invited SDP, classmates, and family over.

It was supposed to be 6 onwards, but as of 8PM, di pa luto un pasta, na technically would be the only real food para sa gutom. I was fine with that because there was a potluck dinner at La Salle that night, na ndi ko napuntahan.

=================================================================

The Hospital

3AM and we're only on our way home. I got a text from Job, saying Ma was rushed to the hospital. I was committed to my girls though, and I can't let them just ride a cab at that time in the morning from God knows where, so I said I'll go to the hospital as soon as I can, but I have to take them all home first. After dropping Sop off and Issa, Che, and Steph at Issa's, I rushed to Cardinal Santos.

Funny, I said I didn't feel sleepy. But as I got to Meralco (incidentally, the same place where I crashed the Crosswind), I was switching lanes unconsciously. Then after crossing EDSA, my mind was playing. I was like "where the hell am I?" when if perfectly fine, I know La Salle Greenhills is just on my right side. I came to my senses, though, and managed to get to the hospital unscathed.

Ma was there, sleeping. Pa and Job went out to eat, I opted to stay since I was full and I couldn't walk right. On 2 occassions, the doctor in charge asked my mom how she felt, and she responed almost the same way, saying, "umiikot pa rin paningin ko".

I thought about not going through with the party, since her health must come first, but she ended up being discharged, and was said to have experienced what she did because of stress.

================================================================

Shoutouts:

Che - Sa pagpunta. Sa pagluto ng pasatang "mula sa puso". Sa pagkwento. Sa pagsama. Sa AV Component Cable ko para sa PSP (TV na lang solb na!!!). Sa pagtulog ng maaga (jologs!). Salamat.

Dipa - Salamat. Inaya kita pumunta, ndi ako masyado nakastay sa table kasama nyo, but I do hope you enjoyed time spent. Mei proxy naman ako eh. hehe...

Tring - see Dipa. Un sinabi ko lang sa kanya dun o ^ . Tama na landi. Wahahahaha...

Issa - gising ka maaga para makapagpagupit ka. Speysyal ka, ikaw lang bisita kong hatid-sundo ko. Ikaw pa nagpabili ng Strong Ice di mo naman inubos. Next time maging pihikan ka ubusin mo. Salamat na rin sa pagpunta despite "tight schedule".
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Jason - Sa susunod na pagkikita na. Nakakatawa usapan natin nun umaga eh, pero baka ndi pde i-post. hehe... Salamat sa pagiging early bird! 9PM is the new 6PM eh.

Keala - Maraming salamat at nakapunta ka.

Xtian - Salamat sa tables and chairs. Balik ko sa weekend. Dumihan muna namin. hehe.. Joke lang, wala lang ako oras. Pero babalik ko un. Nilagyan pa namin ng bagong sako un mga paa, nakakaawa na ichura nun sako nyo dati eh..

Kali - Salamat sa 250 mo! hehe.. Masyado mo dinidibdib daw laro sabi ng mga pinsan ko. It's a game, you just play. We've lost thousands sa tong-its, but we still play. You don't win if you feel so down when you're losing. 270 naging puhunan ko, naubos un, nagkautang ako, pero in the end, panalo pa ko 200++ apart from 270 na puhunan. I'm just saying, play it, don't take it seriously. Makakasira ng diskarte. Ndi pa nga nagtatatawa ng makulit si Uncle Owe at ndi si Jon un umupo sa isa pang seat eh. Pag un dalawang un kalaban mo baka napikon ka ng todo. Hehe... Balik tayo small time kela Mario. Pero kun wala kang ginagawa pag weekends, sabihin mo lang, pde tayo paumaga tong-its para mahasa ang skills mo. hehe..

Arianne - Yey! Pumunta ka!
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Tampururot:

Kuya Ags - ...

Imon - 70%?! 70%?! Ano ako?! Miami sa draft lottery? Anlaki ng chance pero ndi naman mananalo? Skwater ka. Ndi ka man lang sumasagot sa tawag. Wala man lang text.

Robert - aya ka ng aya magkita pero wala ka naman sa timing. Ewan.

Imon and Robert - di porke't kakapanalo nyo lang sa Vegas eh mataas na mga tao na kayo ngayon. (for reference: http://voltz1129.multiply.com/journal/item/145 )

EJ - Drawing ka. Nagpatawag ka pa. Tpos ndi ka man lang nagtext na ndi ka makapunta. 6AM na ko natulog. Walang text. Kinabukasan na. Happy Birthday pa. Wala man lang "sorry ndi ako nakapunta kahit nagsabi akong pupunta".

Paolo - Anu na?! Si Jason nga nagtampo na ikaw tinext ko tapos xa ndi, tapos ndi ka naman pumunta. Tsk.

Julee - Pagkagising mo, wala pang tao. Akala ko punta ka. Umasa ako.

==========================================================

Lessons Learned

1. Don't expect to get your money back. Ma gave me 3k for my birthday, and that's normally apart from what the expenses for the house party. What was supposed to be savings turned out to be birthday expenses, as I didn't have the heart to ask for it back from Ma.

2. Drinks are always a bitch. Buti na lang wasak the previous night si Jason, si Uncle Owe at Tito Vic ay nakainom na sa La Salle, at mahina naman uminom or ndi umiinom un iba pang bisita, so nagkasya naman 2 and a half cases, at mei natirang 2 Strong Ice. Buti na lang gudboy ako at mabait din mga tao sa paligid ko. hehe...

3. Less = More. Less people means more time with those people. I got to spend some family time together as well as classmate time through poker, and I wish I could've spent more time at the other table where Dipa and Jon were, but I think this was a bit better than the one year when I wasn't able to entertain Gersh and Bhil, and didn't have significant time with classmates. It doesn't matter if you've got a bunch of visitors but you don't get to talk to them.

4. College friends go a long way. I get the urge to text them for any nonsensical thing that may matter to us. The only other person I text at random is Che. And a day is not enough to spend time with all of them. But my wallet says it is.

5. A cake is not essential on a birthday. People can live with 1 real food, and a bunch of finger foods. Thank you Marty's veggie chicharon.

===========================================================

Sa mga pumunta at bumati, salamat. Sa mga ninais, pero ndi kinaya, ok lang naman. Nagkaintindihan na tayo. Sa iba, nabanggit ko na.

...to my 13 year old self...

It's May 7, 2009, days off from my 23rd birthday, and your 13th. I'll start off by saying the mistakes I made in the past (well, your future) made me who I am now, and I do not regret who I have become. However, being a kid, you might get a little shocked at some events in your life, and I'm just here to give you a heads up. I know you'll do fine, but in any event you'd like to change anything you'd learn upon reading this, then it's your choice.

First, keep your dad in check. He may not show it but he'd be dealing with a lot of stuff at around this time in your life. For your mom's sake and the whole family, just go to outings when he asks.

On a personal note, don't feel too bad upon leaving your friends behind in Lorenzo. You'll meet great new people in Don Bosco. Sure, you may miss out on having a girlfriend at an early age, but she's going for some tomboy anyway, so don't put too much effort.

In Don Bosco, you're going to meet a beautiful girl that's gonna make your jaw drop. It's not easy not to look, and not to fall, but believe me, you've got as much chance being with her as the Philippines experiencing a snowstorm. And no, it's not because you don't have a cellphone. She's just nice, and you're just funny, so 10 minutes on the phone doesn't mean crap even though the others only get a couple of minutes. Just be happy for her, and you don't need to lose contact, she's gonna be with a good friend you'd meet in college. Or yeah you could lose contact, because you may probably not stand her cousin for too long.

In your second year, you're gonna be close to that girl you've had a crush on since you were 8. Do not think she's interested in you. She might have been, but she's really not. She just needs companionship at the time that no one's there for her. She'll still be a good friend, just don't make a big deal out of it, because it would lead to unwanted uneasiness between the two of you.

Do not, under any circumstances, leave your phone lying around while playing basketball. Even if it is in the relatively secure premises of Don Bosco. In college, do not leave your phone in line with all the rest of the cellphones looking for signal. Additionally, do not keep your phone in the external pocket of your big bag when watching a live PBA game. And finally, do not keep your phone in your crappy pocket especially while you're drunk. Yes, you are going to be this careless to lose this many phones in a span of 9 years. And yes, you will have that many phones. And yes, you will not be stuck in that Alcatel Talk N' Text phone your whole life.

In your third year in high school, you are going to meet a girl who you're going to fall head over heels for. By this time, with all the testosterone flying around in campus, it's not hard to imagine you falling for someone so easily. But she's a flirt. Yes you're going to love her, but she's the epitome of "malandi". I'm not stopping you from loving her, I'm just telling you that telling your dad that you found "the one" and that you'd never love again is such bullshit.

Your band and newfound friends may be one of the highlights of your high school life. Cherish them, and don't let stupid arguments come between you.

Also, at around this time, you should put an effort into understanding flash and JAVA as much as you can. It could help you in the future.

Tell your cousin Kleng that she must know how to get to the parties she goes to before going there. At around this time, when debuts are happening in Kleng's life, she will be going to a lot of parties. In one them, they will get lost, and be mistaken for some kidnapping case by some dumbass policemen. This grave accident will lead to your Ninong's passing, and Uncle Jun's stepping stone toward being part of the government. Both of which will cause nothing good in the long run.

MiRC is going to be big. It's going to start with assignment passing, and eventually move on to interaction with other schools. Don't sulk too much and close yourself out on the girl you fell for, she's not putting as much effort as you are, so just enjoy life with your friends.

In your graduation ball, wait. And talk. You not being able to take your crush to their prom doesn't mean that your deal is off. She still honors that deal you two made and is going to reject all invitations to your grad ball that is not yours.

Boxing with your uncle isn't the best idea you're going to come up with.

Philosophy isn't that bad. You'd learn a lot about life. It's gonna suck looking for a job with "AB Philosophy" as your major, but I tell you, the best years of your life are going to be in college. You won't meet the same people and experience the same stuff had you chosen another path. This may be career suicide, but if you put an effort into learning and practicing stuff you should've learned in high school computers, you should be fine. Besides, if taking up Philosophy was such a big mistake, it's the best mistake you'd be making your whole life.

You're not Jughead Jones. People will be amazed at how you eat so much but gain so little, but believe me, if you stop working out, it's gonna be tough to lose the extra baggage you're gonna gain.

In your second year, you'd meet a skinny, funny, and child-like girl who's going to make you happy. She's from an all girl school, so it might be shocking for her to take your frank admissions of liking her. Don't feel too bad if she distances herself from you, it's your fault anyway. Just be there for her, and maybe she'll get to like you too.

You're going to learn to drive, but understand that while your feet do get too busy for you to even think of falling asleep on the wheel, you actually do feel too sleepy to drive at times. And one of the times you'd fall asleep is mainly because you thought you won't fall asleep, which would lead to a huge car crash where the car wouldn't be repaired anymore. Don't be too brash trying to do something you can't.

You're bound to win an election in school. I won't say when, but when you do, just focus and do the stuff you're supposed to do, the stuff you promised to do. And make sure everyone knew you were doing your job. It's gonna be hard, and maybe against your will, but you have to make everyone know. Respect of the few doesn't win you elections. It's gonna be a great feeling knowing you are respected, but that "great feeling" can't be written in your resume.

Do your thesis early. Don't let DoTA get in the way. Think that you MUST finish parts of your thesis in your third year, so that you won't have to change your topic next year.

Upon graduating, tell your dad that it's not the best idea to sell ice cream. Well, actually, it is. Just be there when your dad pushes for his proposal so that you can sell ice cream in the village. If you manage to do that, I'd probably be a businessman right now. It would sell like hotcakes in the village, but anywhere else, you're throwing your money away.

You're going to have a great phone. Don't let your drunk tantrums slam it to the ground.

Remember this lesson: you are a playoffs man. You can bet a lot during the playoffs, but never try to be too greedy and bet on elimination games as well. Maybe I'll write you again after I've researched the winning lottery combinations.

===================================================================

Ten years isn't a lot of time to make such grave mistakes, but all these I gave you a heads-up on are the stuff you need to be prepared for so that you won't be sulking too much. You're too emotional to keep it all to yourself. Too much sulking made you lose so much time to enjoy other stuff.

And if you think being 159lbs isn't THAT bad, then you don't need to slow down on chowing down.

That's all. Good luck in your high school life!

--> From your turning-23-old self.
(And I got the idea of writing this to you because of a morning show on the radio. Giving credit to where it's due.)

...Learned Things on a Visit to Uncle Jun...

Today was the first time I got to visit Uncle Jun since he was "detained" in the Manila Police District. I think I've already mentioned most of my thoughts in my previous painfully long blog, so I guess I'll just add my learnings from today:

1. On Mike D's Perjury Case

Sister Mary John, arguably the most vocal among the sisters helping Uncle Jun out, explained Mike Defensor's prejury case: In the senate inquiry, Uncle Jun told the senate that Mike D told him to deny the kidnapping, while in the Supreme Court/Court of Appeals/wherever, Uncle Jun said that Mike D told him to deny knowledge of the NBN-ZTE deal. I don't see it contradicting. And both were said. Magkarugtong un eh. Kaya naman na-kidnap dahil mei alam. Grounds for perjury? Anyone?

2. MTC RTC TC TC

Now I understand what happened regarding the warrant. The perjury case was already dismissed long ago by the judge in the Municipal Trial Court. Then Mike D appealed to the Regional Trial Court and I think the judge there found "basis" for Mike D's case, and ordered the MTC to issue an arrest warrant. So that's why my uncles were trying to ask a contact if Uncle Jun's case has already gone back down to the MTC from the RTC.

3. On Principle and Refusing Bail

My dad explained the whole "principle" thing about the bail. Money is no object. Everyone is offering to help him out, and it's not like 6k is an insurmountable amount of money. Thing is, by posting bail, he is "legitimizing" Mike Defensor's accusations.

Parang, kunwari, kakain ka. Sabi, maghugas ka ng kamay dahil "madumi". Ikaw, sa sarili mo, alam mo namang naghugas ka na, eh tutuloy na lang sa pagdampot ng pagkain. Pero, kung nag-hugas ka ng kamay ULIT, pinapatunayan mo lang na "madumi" nga ang kamay mo.
(my analogy. baka ma-kasuhan pa ko eh)

Hence, he'd want to battle it out in court. However, I don't think I quite understand, whatever happened to "innocent until proven guilty"? Why is he going to be behind bars if the court hasn't finalized a decision yet?

4. A Quote from Uncle Jun

"Umaray lang naman ako. Kurot sila ng kurot, di naman ako umiimik, tapos ngayong umaray ako, pinapalabas nila, na ako pa ang kumurot sa sarili ko" -On Mike D's press release claiming Uncle Jun is "using" him for his "political ambitions".

5. Lies and Not Telling the Truth

Inconsistency na un. Sa mata ng korteng bayad.

Anyway, it's funny to think that Mike's case is essentially grounded on Uncle Jun lying/not telling the truth, while Malacañang is claiming that they never said anything about "ordering/requesting" Mike D not to pursue the case anymore, as Mike D claimed in front of just about everyone through the presscon he had RIGHT BEFORE FLYING TO THE US TO WATCH THE PACMAN FIGHT.

"Karangalan" ng pamilya nya? I don't hear his wife crying "justice". I don't see his kids looking "oppressed". Frankly, I think it's mainly because they're too used to people criticizing Mike D for the lapdog that he is, that these things aren't new to them.

Wala namang masisira kung dati nang sira.

6. The Master Planner

Uncle Jun's detractors are claiming that he's got some kind of "master planner" behind him. A year has passed, and yet there are people who still follow him, there still are media people who cover him, and they never seem to be out of the public's eyes. Sister MJ said probably the Holy Spirit is their "master planner".

Nobody wanted this. Uncle Jun lived in La Salle for the past year, and at some point in time NOBODY talked about him, unless it was brought up. Then Mike D pushes for his case. And now everyone's talking about Uncle Jun again. Uncle Jun didn't ask for all this attention, but Mike apparently lit a fire. The judge, in denying Mayor Lim's motion for "recognizance", also lit a fire in other people. And now, people's eyes are looking again.

Do we pay media to cover Uncle Jun? No. We don't even call them. The only time we initiated contact was back in Feb 4, 2008, when Ate faxed them on Uncle Jun's flight details for his arrival from Hong Kong. All the rest that followed, it's just them trying to contact him.

7. On Present and Future

Right now, he's relatively safe, but tomorrow's going to be another story. Tomorrow (May 4) is supposedly the day the judge serves the commitment order, but where Uncle Jun is going is all up to the judge. As it seems, there are 3 parties that is requesting to take custody of Uncle Jun: the senate, the sisters, and Mayor Lim. But the decision still rests on the judge's hands, as to where Uncle Jun will end up; either among one of the three, or in the Manila City Jail.

On May 6, the eve of Uncle Jun's arraingment, we're inviting everyone to "Light a Candle for Truth". There will be a gathering in front of the Manila Police District (along UN Avenue) at 6PM for us to light our candles together, or if not, you can probably do it in front of your own houses.


(Bulleted/numbered and mei effort ang pag-bold and whatnot, para mabasa ng mga tamad magbasa ng mahaba.)