Saturday, August 31, 2013

...Pangingialam ng Pakialamero: Driving in the Philippines...

We Filipinos are known to be able to remain happy despite adversity. Working in the field of sales, one of the challenges I have to deal with is the hellacious traffic in the metro. To deal with road rage, I watch movies on my tab, or look out my window to criticize my fellow motorists, the whole scenery around me, and at times, pedestrians. Here are things I noticed while driving in the Philippines:

1. Turn Signal Technology

We have added features in ours.

We have an amazing turn signal technology implanted in our cars. I think it is only in the Philippines that your turn signal is directly connected to the accelerator pedal of the car behind you in the lane you want to switch to. You can try out this technology in the next traffic jam you're in. Compare it to when you don't use your turn signal when switching lanes. You'll find better success switching.

2. Road Signs are Decorative Pieces on the Road

How could I illustrate this better? 

I remember taking a written test when I was applying for a driver's license. I remember a couple of guys flunking it. I even remember a dude who was actually caught cheating. Yep, and all that I didn't really understand because everything was so openly displayed around us. Now, rules are supposed to give us a sense of order, and signs are great illustrations of what the rules are. Here in the Philippines, these signs are actually mere decorations on the road. Those white lines on the road that other countries call pedestrian lanes? No need for that here, because people can cross the road however they want. The perfectly spelled out "No Loading and Unloading" sign? That's the best place to hail a PUV because people would usually avoid it. Our roads no longer need paintings or murals, we already have a lot of decorations in the form of these colorful roadsigns nobody follows.

3. Rules End at the Stroke of Midnight

Of course I'll take a left there, don't be silly

You know how there are one-way streets, and there are streets where you can't turn right or left or you can't make a u-turn? Well, at the stroke of midnight, you apparently can already! Rules seem to only be followed if there are uniformed individuals manning their post (which curiously is always found just after a road sign or traffic light) and these same rules are no longer in effect when no one's looking. Way to contribute to our nation's progress, motorists who can't be patient enough for rules.

4. "Yellow" Means "Faster"

One of the most common practices that one would notice while driving in the Philippines is the fact that vehicles actually speed up rather than slow down when they see the yellow light on the traffic. I think it is somehow correlated to item #1, since turn signals are usually yellow. We need to find a new color for saying "slow down". 

See the bright dot at the top right? It means stop. Yellow comes before it, which means slow down. The Jeepney clearly had a different mindset when the saw that yellow light

5. Rain Causes  More People on the Road

They have their umbrellas, but wouldn't it be drier indoors?
I don't have proof of direct correlation of this, but for some reason, traffic is worse when it's raining that when it's sunny out. I don't know how people occupy 3 of the 5 lanes of Marcos Highway when it's raining, but manage to keep it steady the rest of the days. Don't people have to take shelter when it's raining? I have theorized long before that The Gremlins may be true after all. 

6. The Road: An Extended Market

Random stuff you'd probably need in your car to amuse you

I haven't been to too many other countries, so I can't say for certain that this only happens here in the Philippines. Sure, traffic bores the hell out of you, and makes you pick your nose or sing at the top of your lungs. But the characters outside of your car will give you more things to enjoy; there's the "takatak" boy selling cigarettes and candies, the Fish Cracker or other snack sellers along C5, the roasted mani vendors, the Kasoy vendors who can jump in and out of buses but also sell to cars, and vendors of random stuff; i.e. cellphone chargers, fruits, that solar powered plastic flower that moves by itself under direct sunlight, and just the other day, I saw one selling shaving blades. 

And it's not just the micro-entrepreneur that you will see on the roads. There are also the hopeless cases who just wander around begging for money, and the kids who "clean" your windshield with dirty water and shaggy rags. There are the sampaguita kids who will persist that you buy their stuff at 11PM. These are the sights and sounds of traffic in the metro. 

7. "Sorry" Makes Everything Better

"Sorry" lang katapat nyan boss, relax.

Traffic jams usually involve a lot of bumper to bumper jockeying for position. The most notorious of which are the steel-built jeepneys and other Public Utility Vehicles. It is almost common now that you see at least one or two accidents in a week, with one of the involved parties being that of a PUV. There are a lot of head scratching involved while the other party is irate. For some reason, these PUV drivers or those drivers who are generally assholes are the same people who will scratch their heads and say "sorry" as if their "sorry" could fix up the dent or scratch on your car. Forget insurance or police reports, they don't have those. It's going to be your responsibility to have it fixed by insurance because you don't possibly have the heart to let this poor man's family starve to death. You should take his "sorry", let out a sigh of relief, then charge it to experience, because the traffic will only become worse with your car never going to get better despite the more powerful "sorry na po talaga".