tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15228501248057275712024-02-10T13:49:19.655-08:00...Strawberry-filled Donuts...Random ramblings from a life seeking meaning.voltzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296000979681112106noreply@blogger.comBlogger319125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1522850124805727571.post-87456277016077882442020-10-27T03:00:00.000-07:002020-10-27T03:00:14.011-07:00...Fairy Tales and Stories...I don't have night time habits to help me sleep.<div><br /></div><div>Growing up, my mom would force us to sleep at around 9PM and would scold us if we weren't asleep by 10PM especially on a school night.</div><div><br /></div><div>My brother and I slept in the same room, so at some point, we even asked her to read us Funny Komiks to help us sleep at night, but that didn't last long, and it really didn't help much because we actually finished reading that issue of the comics.</div><div><br /></div><div>As I grew older, my mom became more lenient with my bedtime and eventually had a TV set up in our room.</div><div><br /></div><div>When I got my own room, Wave 89.1's Dreamsounds was my go-to sleep companion, so I had to sleep before 12 midnight or else all I would hear is static.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYkPqsb8CJ8tS-UOjSDXaUvm2l0yGOLVWsVOHvpGMHh6M9QD_zDUP36PFay_Rn3qLr0T-nU5OokVeGtBQ5XVZSpsri1425RTneFL_EU94CthVKM8Vxm1tketGittswJcW3Ql3SSw8iBcjr/s400/stereo.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYkPqsb8CJ8tS-UOjSDXaUvm2l0yGOLVWsVOHvpGMHh6M9QD_zDUP36PFay_Rn3qLr0T-nU5OokVeGtBQ5XVZSpsri1425RTneFL_EU94CthVKM8Vxm1tketGittswJcW3Ql3SSw8iBcjr/s320/stereo.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I had something close to this, but I can't find a picture of the actual thing it as it's long gone.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div>Now that I'm a dad, we've been experimenting on what sleeping habits we can help Vino create.</div><div><br /></div><div>The default is nursing, but when Che's not around, I can't replicate that. At times, Ate Jen, our helper, would be able to get him to sleep while she carried and danced as Vino rested her head on her shoulder. </div><div><br /></div><div>However, when we went home to the Philippines and Che had to go on a business trip for a while, Vino's pattern changed.</div><div><br /></div><div>He seems to be able to relax at the sound of car engines, and would sleep while riding a car. For the days when Che wasn't at home, I drove him around until he fell asleep.</div><div><br /></div><div>Since then, Vino didn't want to be carried to sleep anymore. </div><div><br /></div><div>But one night, when Che had a late dinner, I closed the lights and told him stories.</div><div><br /><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0gdjst8NjV0J3oztfgvAG5BFLgHzzm7NI4jI2sTnUI6CPy6VWx0kCc_mhlMtKwZ05iiqHDC9-XgKTTRnEdpWPwZNZBu10_hXhkUkRWc2fVoBbW1m-9TcHJSeCXayxJWkREmpq1uaKDZzK/s598/vino+books.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="598" data-original-width="280" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0gdjst8NjV0J3oztfgvAG5BFLgHzzm7NI4jI2sTnUI6CPy6VWx0kCc_mhlMtKwZ05iiqHDC9-XgKTTRnEdpWPwZNZBu10_hXhkUkRWc2fVoBbW1m-9TcHJSeCXayxJWkREmpq1uaKDZzK/s320/vino+books.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The boy loves books. Hopefully he keeps it up.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div>It was then that I realized that I knew of fairy tales, but I didn't know them by heart. </div><div><br /></div><div>I knew Peter Pan lived in Neverland, but at the top of my head, I didn't know why Captain Hook was so angry at him and how he took Wendy and her brothers back to their home.</div><div><br /></div><div>I knew that Sleeping Beauty bit an apple from the Queen who kept asking her magic mirror "who's the fairest of them all?" but I didn't know how she ended up with the seven dwarves. </div><div><br /></div><div>I knew Rapunzel lived in a tall tower, but because of Tangled, I'm not quite sure what happened in the fairy tale I grew up knowing about.</div><div><br /></div><div>I drew blanks when Vino asked for more stories. Then I had to dig deep and tell him stories that I knew about - the plot of Ghost Fighter which I just finished watching on Netflix, a little bit of Dragon Ball, and eventually, the plot of One More Chance, which I apparently know by heart.</div><div><br /></div><div>The last one did the trick for him that night, but when he's sleeping next to his mom, he would always default to nursing.</div><div><br /></div><div>I had to dig deep to try and remember stories, with or without lessons, that I remember being told to me as I grew up. </div><div><br /></div><div><b><u><span style="font-size: medium;">My Dad's Province Life</span></u></b></div><div><br /></div><div>My dad lived with 12 other siblings in the province, so it's not surprising that they would have some crazy times together. </div><div><br /></div><div>One day, they had coconuts, and opened it using a large bolo knife.</div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhML6pqJj3Eld1t7RQJ0t9ZKjjseqr6d9HChg1ZLthIPV-KAPNrTWqxjm5T7p8OIVOc_G5A_9lbUt7zoT9ufjfx-Adp_iV3eY2wEwNl2VZyMtOg11WOP6yOtQZ18OmQB-Zj8CWxeaPZN1Sd/s2000/itak.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1429" data-original-width="2000" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhML6pqJj3Eld1t7RQJ0t9ZKjjseqr6d9HChg1ZLthIPV-KAPNrTWqxjm5T7p8OIVOc_G5A_9lbUt7zoT9ufjfx-Adp_iV3eY2wEwNl2VZyMtOg11WOP6yOtQZ18OmQB-Zj8CWxeaPZN1Sd/s320/itak.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We call it, "itak"</td></tr></tbody></table><div><br /></div><div>After everyone had their fill, their eldest brother raised it up and asked "who will bring this back to the kitchen?"</div><div><br /></div><div>No one answered. </div><div><br /></div><div>Irritated, he let go of the knife and let it fall to the floor. </div><div><br />Unfortunately, it fell directly on his foot.</div><div><br /></div><div>When I told Vino this story, I said that this is why you have to be careful when handling sharp objects.</div><div><br /></div><div>Another story involved my dad and two of his brothers. </div><div><br /></div><div>They were riding a carabao in the fields one day and decided that they wanted to have some fun. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjawtEZ2yI67JONLv0sck9oDgvfMXBXcd2ffV57pmtG_Uh5e5q4rvkZGHPOOqjstilgasrzMslAQ3mnSokeikr71zKt0eHJrzk8gQTpPJDFkTicaGq1cRON6fwha-GAJp_vPUzb1aOajrkL/s2048/kalabaw.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjawtEZ2yI67JONLv0sck9oDgvfMXBXcd2ffV57pmtG_Uh5e5q4rvkZGHPOOqjstilgasrzMslAQ3mnSokeikr71zKt0eHJrzk8gQTpPJDFkTicaGq1cRON6fwha-GAJp_vPUzb1aOajrkL/s320/kalabaw.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not the same carabao, obviously, but imagine how old my dad <br />and his brothers were if 3 of them fit on this guy's back.</td></tr></tbody></table><div><br /><br /></div><div>They pulled the carabao's tail to make it go faster, and it did. However, it unexpectedly went downhill through a garden of roses, scratching their legs in the process. </div><div><br /></div><div>Bloodied and tired as they hung on to the carabao, they had to wait for it to stop on its own.</div><div><br />When it finally did, one of my dad's brothers said he needed to take a leak. Not even midway through peeing, the carabao stepped on his foot.</div><div><br /></div><div>My dad and my uncle tried to push the carabao away, but they couldn't move it because not only was it heavy, it was also taking a piss itself.</div><div><br /></div><div>I told Vino that what we learned from this story is that we should always be kind to animals. </div><div><br /></div><div>Province life pre-cellphones and whatnot unleashed creativity among dad and his siblings.</div><div><br /></div><div>One day, got themselves home-made darts using nails and whatever they used to make it aerodynamic, and got a large coconut or a tree trunk to use as their target.</div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKD1COdpiuZ7xHdc-xOMiJq3eJGh-iN6MVIEe3vvfslrV6pnlUx2heR_j9UvoxnNGqcOYXFmcI-mv54ZhG03vN-68vweX43PsT4L_rlCQJTliHrrr_MujqDv4lukX-267qp-QdfOeBPPc4/s550/darts.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="427" data-original-width="550" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKD1COdpiuZ7xHdc-xOMiJq3eJGh-iN6MVIEe3vvfslrV6pnlUx2heR_j9UvoxnNGqcOYXFmcI-mv54ZhG03vN-68vweX43PsT4L_rlCQJTliHrrr_MujqDv4lukX-267qp-QdfOeBPPc4/s320/darts.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Probably something more primitive than this, but you get the picture.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><div><br /></div><div>They would throw the dart alternately and see who gets closest to the bullseye.</div><div><br /></div><div>One of my uncles (Uncle A) threw his dart and stepped away. One of his brothers (Uncle B) got ready to throw next. As Uncle B was aiming, Uncle A who threw ahead of him suddenly decided to get his dart.</div><div><br /></div><div>In an instant, the dart hit the side of Uncle A's head instead of the target. </div><div><br /></div><div>I've contemplated telling Vino this story because I needed to explain a lot of things, but if I ever did tell him about it, I'd say that the lesson we draw here is the value of patience and firm decision-making. </div><div><br /></div><div><b><u><span style="font-size: medium;">The Legend of My Mom</span></u></b></div><div><br /></div><div>I love my mom, but she can be really clumsy at times. She easily panics, and makes silly mistakes when she does, which later built her legendary status as the most entertaining person in the family.</div><div><br /></div><div>These stories could easily be mistaken for fiction because of how ridiculous they are, but these were told by my dad while my mom was present or by my mom herself. </div><div><br />I want to share these with Vino later on in life so that even if he isn't growing up in close company with his grandmother, he could at least carry some amusing stories about her to build affinity with my mom. </div><div><br /></div><div>One day, my mom rode with my dad as he went to the office. My mom worked in Manila, while my dad worked in Makati, and as this was the early to mid 80's, there wasn't much traffic to make this an impossible distance in the morning.</div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifafE42JmjWXOzL_4kY7qLTwjQsO3_3n5p9fZI8JdrfNuRGYkGnVk-hIqiCz1UtSEsKYaAXq7c5K6mbDR1ythlSXQhB2J3ELqDesopm96s6zq5ZPr22Z_EzCENp778Eh2GjfH24ol3cZXy/s970/ayala.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="456" data-original-width="970" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifafE42JmjWXOzL_4kY7qLTwjQsO3_3n5p9fZI8JdrfNuRGYkGnVk-hIqiCz1UtSEsKYaAXq7c5K6mbDR1ythlSXQhB2J3ELqDesopm96s6zq5ZPr22Z_EzCENp778Eh2GjfH24ol3cZXy/s320/ayala.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I never saw Ayala without traffic, but I guess this was the norm back then.</td></tr></tbody></table><div><br /></div><div>When they reached Makati, they stopped at a traffic light, and my mom suddenly decided that she could go down there and catch a bus or something. </div><div><br /></div><div>Before my dad could say anything, my mom was out of the car already, and my dad was surprised that he couldn't see her anymore. </div><div><br /></div><div>"She found a ride quick," he thought.</div><div><br /></div><div>As my dad waited for the light to turn green, my dad was looking around and was shocked when his gaze turned to the passenger-side window.</div><div><br /></div><div>There was my mom, standing straight up with the biggest ear to ear smile he ever saw her in. </div><div><br /></div><div>Light turned green, and she waved goodbye to him. </div><div><br /></div><div>Later that day, my dad got a call from my mom, who was crying.</div><div><br /></div><div>Apparently, she fell to the ground as soon as she got off the car and scraped her knees. She was so embarrassed that she stood up as soon as she could, but couldn't say anything to my dad as the light turned green already. </div><div><br /></div><div>She went to the office with bloodied, scraped knees. </div><div><br /></div><div>Another legendary story happened during her office hours.</div><div><br /></div><div>My mom is one of the most trusted employees of her boss, and she's been in charge of the payroll for quite some time.</div><div><br /></div><div>One day, she went out to the bank to get money for the payroll and got into a jeepney.</div><div><br /></div><div>Midway through the journey, three men pulled out weapons and declared a robbery while the jeepney was moving. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_LGzXCRbhIDP6x9_lT5CGpBKObDaCSnTDWQYZ9Yn9VNCjA8WoWcBCLJhE0y_M7dMurnLX1OVuuLz2ByzPqDVqnetD5nRpN5nTlGkLZKvCiO5HMdXDVUopjtiUiw8GtZDDCzDbA3qUjiwv/s540/jeep.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="540" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_LGzXCRbhIDP6x9_lT5CGpBKObDaCSnTDWQYZ9Yn9VNCjA8WoWcBCLJhE0y_M7dMurnLX1OVuuLz2ByzPqDVqnetD5nRpN5nTlGkLZKvCiO5HMdXDVUopjtiUiw8GtZDDCzDbA3qUjiwv/s320/jeep.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jeep and traffic were inevitabilities in Binondo even way back.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><div><br /></div><div>My mom was shaking to her core! In her bag was tons of money that was supposed to be the salary of her whole company, and she was sitting right next to a robber!</div><div><br /></div><div>As the robbers collected valuables from everyone, the one beside my mom suddenly whispered, "don't worry, little girl, you're not included in this."</div><div><br /></div><div>They apparently thought my mom, who stood at 4-11, was a student, and decided not to do her harm or rob her. </div><div><br /></div><div>In her head, my mom was both thankful and offended. Naturally, she was thankful for not being robbed, but she was offended that they thought she did not have anything worth taking despite arguably having the most to lose in that jeepney. </div><div><br /></div><div><div><b><u><span style="font-size: medium;">Tales From the Drinking Table</span></u></b></div><div><br /></div><div>I had my first sip of beer when I was in third grade. One of my uncles let me sip from his cup and told me that if vices were going to be inevitable, it's better for me to learn how to drink than learn how to smoke cigarettes.</div><div><br /></div><div>To some extent, that worked out well as at age 34, I never picked up smoking as a habit. </div><div><br /></div><div>I did, however, pick up drinking at around high school. I rarely drink alone though, because it's not alcohol that I enjoy, but rather the company I have when I'm drinking.</div><div><br /></div><div>Coming from a big family who somehow urged me to drink, they are naturally my first drinking buddies, and they shared quite a lot of stories over the years. </div><div><br /></div><div>There's no lessons to be learned, just some crazy stuff.</div><div><br /></div><div>Uncle C shared a story about how Uncle D admitted his infidelity to his wife. </div><div><br /></div><div>They went out for a drink to muster up some courage to do what they're about to do. On the way home, Uncle C was hyping up Uncle D, and Uncle D was soaking it all up.</div><div><br /></div><div>"I'm going to tell her exactly what happened and let her deal with it!" Uncle D said, to the delight of a proud Uncle C.<br /></div><div><br /></div><div>When they went inside the house, Uncle D told Uncle C to stay in the living room as they talked. </div><div><br /></div><div>Uncle D and his wife went inside their room. Shouting ensued. Some other noise was heard, suggesting that there may be violence happening.</div><div><br /></div><div>Uncle C was nervous, but somehow proud. "He really knows how to assert his dominance as the man of the house," he thought.</div><div><br /></div><div>The door opened, and he was ready to meet his brother. Instead, it was his sister-in-law who stepped out. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcGtR-V70PpMarzBdAi1eKCEnS1NoHlK3jMzW1fuyHS4QYnCK4WKlHYreh-dz5rODqUo1G6xAzIVdqk0ZTTv-EshECTFEPmSjhZtT61quFh3QOwy_DzwYZ9vpY9LC8Rgmv5BspG5LW_dYj/s400/wife+husb.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="279" data-original-width="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcGtR-V70PpMarzBdAi1eKCEnS1NoHlK3jMzW1fuyHS4QYnCK4WKlHYreh-dz5rODqUo1G6xAzIVdqk0ZTTv-EshECTFEPmSjhZtT61quFh3QOwy_DzwYZ9vpY9LC8Rgmv5BspG5LW_dYj/s320/wife+husb.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Probably something my aunt lived by.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><div><br /></div><div>"Tell me everything you know, C!" she demanded.</div><div><br /></div><div>Through a small opening of the door, Uncle C could see Uncle D laying flat on his back on the bed. Needless to say, he said every detail that he knew. </div><div><br /></div><div>One of my favorite drinking buddies was my cousin Jon. If anyone would bet money on a drinking contest, I'll bet my fortune on Jon against anyone.</div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8AflsQOPf1gC9aIdNc3erw16C8k2978wyuO0B0TVjtTNrt8RswTuunQt4D5cDrPKsrAYjCyLuP6HPKCOzSHoIsnCHniguZypAL8o_vjKo-afmr7iEbcCfgxHy27FTMmL6l6WE2VFWPLmb/s838/beer+toast.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="838" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8AflsQOPf1gC9aIdNc3erw16C8k2978wyuO0B0TVjtTNrt8RswTuunQt4D5cDrPKsrAYjCyLuP6HPKCOzSHoIsnCHniguZypAL8o_vjKo-afmr7iEbcCfgxHy27FTMmL6l6WE2VFWPLmb/s320/beer+toast.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Only good memories with beer. With Tequila, not so much.</td></tr></tbody></table><div><br /></div><div>While we try our best to keep up, none of us could get to the point where he was in a drunken state. </div><div><br /></div><div>He learned this the hard way when he had a pissing contest with his neighborhood friend.</div><div><br /></div><div>So this friend says that he had a cousin who drank really well, and incidentally, my cousin from the province came to visit him.</div><div><br />"My cousin drinks really well too! He's from the province," he said, building up my cousin's image to match his friend's cousin.</div><div><br /></div><div>Jon invited his friend to his house later that night so that they can have a drinking session with their two cousins. </div><div><br /></div><div>Everything was going well as they were all having a good time. </div><div><br /></div><div>Later, my cousin from the province stood up and said he was going to take a leak. As he opened the door, he suddenly vomited all over the floor. </div><div><br /></div><div>The next day, Jon confronted our cousin to ask him what happened. </div><div><br /></div><div>"I didn't make it," was all that he could say. </div><div><br /></div><div>I remembered this story and made sure not to embarrass him if he did the same thing to me, which actually happened not long after he told me the story.</div><div><br /></div><div>He took me to his friend's birthday party. His friend was one of those who looked up to him, so much so that we were treated like kings when we arrived. </div><div><br /></div><div>We didn't need to stand up to get food or beers, they would bring it to us.</div><div><br /></div><div>The free flowing beer took a toll on me, and I felt that I was going to blow. I politely asked where the toilet was, and was pointed to that direction. </div><div><br /></div><div>As quietly as I could, I let out everything I was trying to keep inside my mouth. </div><div><br /></div><div>I took quite a while to compose myself, and I could hear my cousin and his friend talking outside.</div><div><br /></div><div>"Is he ok? Is he vomiting?" his friend asked. </div><div><br /></div><div>"Yeah, yeah, he's ok, don't worry about it," he said.</div><div><br /></div><div>I washed my face and opened the door as I rubbed my belly.</div><div><br /></div><div>"Sorry, I think I got too full and had to take a crap," I declared.</div><div><br /></div><div>To sell the act, I naturally drank a couple more bottles before my cousin decided to call it a night. Of course he knows what happened, but as long as his friends buy the act, then we're good. </div><div><br /></div><div>After all, they can't prove what happened in that toilet. </div><div><br /></div></div>voltzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296000979681112106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1522850124805727571.post-36990312035519357832020-09-30T04:05:00.001-07:002020-09-30T04:09:54.168-07:00...NBA Finals Preview: The Uncrowned Kings Against the Spoilers...<p>The Miami Heat are back in the NBA Finals for the first time since the Big Three era of Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, and LeBron James.</p><p>I've followed the team since Wade's rookie playoff run (didn't really watch much regular season games then), but I'm not going to say I saw this coming or that I am an "OG fan" of the Heat. </p><p>Still, I do believe I have followed them enough to make a case for them to actually have a chance against the mighty Los Angeles Lakers, who are incidentally being led by the same guy who carried Miami in its last trip here. </p><p>Let me offer my thoughts on the upcoming Finals: </p><p><u><b>The Lakers Looked Destined to a Crown</b></u></p><p>Every Laker fan would tell people that they are defying odds by being in the Finals because people "counted them out" in favor of the Clippers.</p><p>Truth be told, the Lakers were a title favorite at the start of the season, especially after the Anthony Davis acquisition. I'm not buying that "underdog" mentality. </p><p>They are top-heavy with LeBron and AD, but their supporting cast is so underrated that some analysts believed that they were inferior to the Clippers in terms of talent. </p><p>Danny Green's shot has been on and off, no one can still figure out what Kentavious Caldwell-Pope really is, Kyle Kuzma's a suspect third option scorer, JaVale McGee is, well, JaVale McGee, and for all his brilliance, Alex Caruso does still flash some immaturity in his game. </p><p>However, the bubble experience and their run to the Finals have reminded us of two key players that happen to be in their roster: Rajon Rondo and Dwight Howard.</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxVXSFtiYOX9gkvii58ILSQUzv5g1nvK9hQmrSKnd2gBck0CSft46WHSNxm0UnjMg7KJgMJQWUYl6mzwveWvNo8POVjp-hhYwtgNDYvzjP4tA1NR_kbTIi5KXqKm2kV92ATtZPJyemP4lo/s1400/rondo+howard.jpg" style="font-weight: 700; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1400" data-original-width="1400" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxVXSFtiYOX9gkvii58ILSQUzv5g1nvK9hQmrSKnd2gBck0CSft46WHSNxm0UnjMg7KJgMJQWUYl6mzwveWvNo8POVjp-hhYwtgNDYvzjP4tA1NR_kbTIi5KXqKm2kV92ATtZPJyemP4lo/s320/rondo+howard.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Who would have thought these two would be key players today?<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><p>Both were instrumental in dispatching a resilient Denver Nuggets squad and exposed the youth and inexperience of the young team. </p><p>People always had the idea that Playoff Rondo is a thing, but man, did anyone see Playoff Dwight coming? </p><p>After winning the West through only 15 games, it seems that the Kobe tribute title is well on its way. </p><p><b><u>The Heat Don't Care About Narratives</u></b></p><p>Before the start of the playoffs, Rachel Nichols asked Jimmy Butler just how far does he think Miami can go. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/3uYpX8VEYeM" width="320" youtube-src-id="3uYpX8VEYeM"></iframe><br />(Jump to 1:32 mark for the clip)</div><p><i>Jimmy: We can win this.<br /></i><i>Rachel: You know you're not favored to, right?<br /></i><i>Jimmy: I don't give a... I don't care. Speaking for myself, I don't care what anybody says. </i></p><p>The Heat knocked off the top seeded Milwaukee Bucks in five games, snapping what could have been a historic season for MVP and DPoY Giannis Antetokounmpo.</p><p>In the Conference Finals, they upset a healthy Boston Celtics in six games despite trailing in five of those games heading into the fourth quarter.</p><p>They looked like a team that was good enough to make the playoffs, but certainly not in the same breath as the Celtics, the Bucks, the Sixers, or even the Raptors. </p><p>And yet, here they are.</p><p>If there's any team that has the balls to go off-script and change the expected outcome of anything, it's got to be this Jimmy Butler-led Miami Heat team. </p><p><b><u>The Coaching Edge</u></b></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtVzJNUC-ec0KRXKW0xx42db98QgIJcgiB0420liN0-a03kQw_5JS99G5U4735HQ2GQTgNZFaxeBUdhGvrxlT75RBjOaHH3HySAGKw8PKP4_tgnjoKzZ0a1cugAZIDg7wTClZDAQ3-hQ8v/s900/coaching.jpg" style="font-weight: 700; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="900" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtVzJNUC-ec0KRXKW0xx42db98QgIJcgiB0420liN0-a03kQw_5JS99G5U4735HQ2GQTgNZFaxeBUdhGvrxlT75RBjOaHH3HySAGKw8PKP4_tgnjoKzZ0a1cugAZIDg7wTClZDAQ3-hQ8v/s320/coaching.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The true coaching matchup of the series</td></tr></tbody></table><p>Many believed that Erik Spoelstra was merely a placeholder for the superteam of Miami until Pat Riley ultimately decided to take the reins again, much like what he did to Stan Van Gundy back in their maiden championship run. </p><p>However, Spo has since become one of the longest-tenured coaches in the NBA - next only to Gregg Popovich and a month longer than Rick Carlisle - because he has proven that he's not just a superstar coach.</p><p>The Heat's current run is another testament to Spo's abilities. </p><p>With no superstars at the level of his former Big Three, the Heat conquered the East with innovative defensive schemes against two title favorites in Milwaukee and Boston - both of which arguably had better talent across the board. </p><p>Meanwhile, the Lakers are being carried by the brilliance of LeBron and AD, and Jason Kidd clearly being a huge influence on Rajon Rondo's shooting mechanics.</p><p>Their coach is relegated to leading the "Mamba on three" pre-game hype and the "that's Mamba right there" on winning plays. </p><p>I don't think Frank Vogel is a bad coach, but I don't think he's at the level of Spo in terms of skill and leadership. </p><p>While the East Finals looked like a battle of adjustments between coaches, this Finals matchup will look more like a battle of Spo's coaching brilliance and LeBron's on-court mastery.</p><p><u><b>Small Ball and AD</b></u></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZpMv-yhgzoNi-CfamGsmDNbEnArbWJMdq67WjwnrkmXZrCJmLPfwl249pss3uc8QWDK3LhLffEKRYrAGBdlyukcW1IASKoo7XDSOIjNOM-lIgIA2obwlaKhoaBAMjqoSZzQJkIBlHNHMV/s2048/ad.jpg" style="font-weight: 700; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1152" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZpMv-yhgzoNi-CfamGsmDNbEnArbWJMdq67WjwnrkmXZrCJmLPfwl249pss3uc8QWDK3LhLffEKRYrAGBdlyukcW1IASKoo7XDSOIjNOM-lIgIA2obwlaKhoaBAMjqoSZzQJkIBlHNHMV/s320/ad.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lakers' unfair advantage</td></tr></tbody></table><p>As effective as Howard and McGee were in limited minutes against Denver, they were rendered unplayable in the Houston series. </p><p>Not Anthony Davis. </p><p>At nearly seven feet tall, Davis can run with guards, has impeccable timing on the defensive end, and has a decent jumper that can stretch the floor. </p><p>He's a unicorn that thrives against tall trees of the past and the small ball era of today.</p><p>Against the Heat, the Lakers are going to go against a team that has some of the good components of the teams that they have already faced.</p><p>Bam Adebayo may not have the size and range of Nikola Jokic, but his playmaking abilities could be at par with the Joker, and he's definitely an athletic freak that poses a defensive presence that you get if Robert Covington and PJ Tucker were combined. </p><p>Jimmy Butler may not have the range of Damian Lillard or James Harden, but he has a clutch gene that rivals Dame Time and can create shots for himself and for others.</p><p>Tyler Herro has elevated his game throughout this Bubble, and has proven that he could wax hot from inside and outside with a very imaginative arsenal reminiscent of Jamaal Murray. </p><p>The Heat can play small to relegate Howard and McGee back to the bench, but they have the personnel to make Lakers bigs work if the situation calls for it. </p><p><b><u>X-Factors </u></b></p><p>The Heat use danced their version of the zone extensively against the Celtics because Boston stubbornly stuck to their game instead of breaking the zone. </p><p>The most success that the Celtics had were when Jason Tatum and Jaylen Brown were attacking the basket and Marcus Smart was hitting timely shots on the kickout. </p><p>Apart from the expected production of LeBron and AD, the Lakers could make Miami change up the zone if Kuzma and Caruso can create their own shots either by driving the ball or finding the open spots in the corner much like the Boston duo did, and if Rondo can consistently bury his outside shots. </p><p>KCP and Danny Green will always be threats, but they've been too erratic in these playoffs to trust in big moments. However, they can make an impact on the defensive end especially against Herro and Duncan Robinson.</p><p>More than anyone though, Kuzma is the guy that needs to elevate his game if the Lakers want to assert their dominance in this series.</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-JaxEx7IjvBbDLN66D40O7r1e9LI28tnmSRwL00ZJqq4Yyp4zwUh7NFxVG6DvoSB4Dt_k7c0YyMpi-NHhAvhHh5uea1FOjCPfG6Q2C_KKh6QGk7OyeWViwZ6iJ6K215-X-IbUldvLU87x/s2000/kuzma.jpg" style="font-weight: 700; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1333" data-original-width="2000" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-JaxEx7IjvBbDLN66D40O7r1e9LI28tnmSRwL00ZJqq4Yyp4zwUh7NFxVG6DvoSB4Dt_k7c0YyMpi-NHhAvhHh5uea1FOjCPfG6Q2C_KKh6QGk7OyeWViwZ6iJ6K215-X-IbUldvLU87x/s320/kuzma.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The guy the Lakers need, not the blonde dude who showed up at the start of the season</td></tr></tbody></table><p>Meanwhile, the most success teams had in defending LeBron and AD in the paint were through secondary defenders. </p><p>The Heat can replicate this by re-introducing of one of the key players in the Miami rotation throughout the season - Meyers Leonard. </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhwtD9tD49IP47C6iUR7IPBohcuxIdrPyr5D5vZ7q2NcBDMd_LkJ5srqn8_oIkA0e4dHI4DDVt4NAupcdKGB_KK3hP8ARnDshzsR4ca8-k93mPl8dlpU4Jy_lvJuiit6ShwYEWzRAi8UEW/s2048/leonard.jpeg" style="font-weight: 700; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhwtD9tD49IP47C6iUR7IPBohcuxIdrPyr5D5vZ7q2NcBDMd_LkJ5srqn8_oIkA0e4dHI4DDVt4NAupcdKGB_KK3hP8ARnDshzsR4ca8-k93mPl8dlpU4Jy_lvJuiit6ShwYEWzRAi8UEW/s320/leonard.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The forgotten one<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><p>Leonard was the starting center of the Heat before being re-assigned as the top cheerleader on the bench through these playoffs. </p><p>The seven-footer can take a few minutes away from Jae Crowder or Andre Iguodala to become the primary defender against Davis so that Adebayo can be the designated secondary defender where he can be at his most dangerous, and can stay away from foul trouble. </p><p><b><u>The Matchups</u></b></p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizCmsxHuYi3fA54VStNOwGhSsD8rFP4z54zTTGyfyKqERzluiEi4HGFpTLW6UiCmHRopBFVHo_QRsaWh5zez0eSLjWEJfXSASiftTVa3KqCjEPgwAGXT8Cj8J2-LIgMSZdWGjL3yKqrUAo/s1148/matchups.JPG" style="font-weight: 700; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="670" data-original-width="1148" height="374" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizCmsxHuYi3fA54VStNOwGhSsD8rFP4z54zTTGyfyKqERzluiEi4HGFpTLW6UiCmHRopBFVHo_QRsaWh5zez0eSLjWEJfXSASiftTVa3KqCjEPgwAGXT8Cj8J2-LIgMSZdWGjL3yKqrUAo/w640-h374/matchups.JPG" width="640" /></a></p><p><b><u>Bottom Line</u></b></p><p></p><p>The easy answer is for the Lakers to take this in five games. </p><p>They have the talent, the experience, the confidence, and even the feel-good story to make this a special run at a championship.</p><p>In any normal circumstance, the Lakers are going to win this. </p><p>However, we're in the bubble - nothing is normal.</p><p>Which is why I'm going to go with the Heat in seven.</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcwmBLSuEhkGtnwRC2k71qvAq7bYduBQVh_GKzn0tOP_baBb52eh-kIP5hwRmgZFKS-S6CqruhWbZLCxNY0yqIXHL8T0ApMkgD0HPmTwaWichCg83zDD-O1BXGgFgsKY-ruQLl1r3Aqekm/s1000/court.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="1000" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcwmBLSuEhkGtnwRC2k71qvAq7bYduBQVh_GKzn0tOP_baBb52eh-kIP5hwRmgZFKS-S6CqruhWbZLCxNY0yqIXHL8T0ApMkgD0HPmTwaWichCg83zDD-O1BXGgFgsKY-ruQLl1r3Aqekm/s320/court.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The great equalizer - The Bubble<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p>There's no homecourt advantage for the top team, which makes this a level playing field in terms of crowd energy - something that worked to the advantage of the Denver Nuggets in coming back from two 3-1 deficits. </p><p>The added pressure of the crowd could rattle the young guns of the Heat, but in the bubble, they can focus on basketball. </p><p>In a battle of attrition, the Heat have a better chance of outlasting the aging, veteran crew of the Lakers in a game or a long series.</p><p><br /></p>voltzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296000979681112106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1522850124805727571.post-53558825385724846482020-09-14T22:41:00.000-07:002020-09-14T22:41:54.442-07:00...Strangers and Parenting...When I was a kid, some random guy passed by our house and for some reason, he convinced me to take him for a ride on our pedicab.<div><br /></div><div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrAXQyMRsgcDmJbFXTLaBFrll8LvC6cpLgVKctF-nSOjhH9XTopCcatz7FcWdbcG7dmjRGLe8FfOlzAKdbZaNnmT7s6mic-_mGmY0BGiapM33mLd462GHeR4C3dXBB0WcLpoOTsiEoGyKI/s400/pedicab.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="372" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrAXQyMRsgcDmJbFXTLaBFrll8LvC6cpLgVKctF-nSOjhH9XTopCcatz7FcWdbcG7dmjRGLe8FfOlzAKdbZaNnmT7s6mic-_mGmY0BGiapM33mLd462GHeR4C3dXBB0WcLpoOTsiEoGyKI/s320/pedicab.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We legit had a pedicab like this, minus the cover, but same design.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>Even as he was directing where we were supposed to go, I knew my way around our village since I constantly went around it on my bike.<br />
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We reached a small shanty, similar to a makeshift barracks for construction workers, in one of the more secluded parts of our village at the time.<br />
<br />
Dude went inside, I got bored outside, and decided to just leave. From a distance, I think I heard him screaming for me to go back, but I decided I didn't want to.<br />
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I didn't think much of it, but looking back, I guess I was almost kidnapped.<br />
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It's exactly why we are told as kids to never talk to strangers.<br />
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However, as I grew older, strangers have been essential parts of my life.<br />
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When I was in sales, most of my clients were strangers who I introduced myself to. When I first came to Singapore, I didn't have anyone to play basketball with until I played with strangers.<br />
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I understand the dangers of talking to strangers, and as a dad, I dread the idea of losing my kid to some shady person we don't even know.<br />
<br />
However, I don't really know how to show him the dangers of talking to strangers just yet.<br />
<br />
Living in Singapore, Vino looks a lot like locals, only with bigger, almond eyes that the locals are so amazed with.<br />
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Even as a baby, he would get a lot of attention from strangers, mostly older folks. He was given treats, small toys, and even fruit freebies when he went with me to the market.<br />
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It's become a habit of mine to be playful around kids I don't know, so when someone does the same for Vino, I ask him to say "hi" at least.<br /><div><br /></div><div>Does it make me a bad parent if I can't practice what I preach?</div><div><br /></div><div><u><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Good and Bad</b></span></u></div><div><br /></div><div>I learned back in college that there's a Chinese school of thought that believed that man, by nature, is evil, and that goodness is learned.</div><div><br /></div><div>George Orwell's novel, Animal Farm, also shows that when society breaks down, even the most innocent will be driven to commit what we know to be evil acts. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-_auU9PBn9INPOmP5HmxY9rT3KvryXMPWHMZk5KQRh4VACuZE1I7uCzygcz6E5_otmVpCrCaQc96CLGgmIQ78G51ujOfjar7mazB7jHBBsTrxQ_IdDo4iJ8x6EyiUhOWJc-IFJkyDQxxY/s313/animal+farm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="313" data-original-width="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-_auU9PBn9INPOmP5HmxY9rT3KvryXMPWHMZk5KQRh4VACuZE1I7uCzygcz6E5_otmVpCrCaQc96CLGgmIQ78G51ujOfjar7mazB7jHBBsTrxQ_IdDo4iJ8x6EyiUhOWJc-IFJkyDQxxY/s0/animal+farm.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First or second year of high school forced me to read this, <br />and years after I read it, I guess I realized it's a really good book.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>In both cases, they don't discount man's ability to be good, it's just that it must be aided, as it is not natural.</div><div><br /></div><div>Teaching what's good or bad/evil is one of the most fascinating things I'm learning as a parent, as it makes me question my own moral compass. </div><div><br /></div><div>Whenever I say "that's bad" to my kid, I catch myself thinking "is it really bad, or is it only bad because it is contrary to what society dictates?" </div><div><br /></div><div>Talking to strangers is bad, but we are in constant communication with strangers: the waiter at the restaurant, the cashier at the grocery, our cab driver, the policeman - these are all strangers who aren't necessarily bad.</div><div><br /></div><div>If talking to strangers is not bad, then it must be good, so why is it dangerous?</div><div><br /></div><div>Should I tell my kid to stop trusting people because they might be dangerous? </div><div><br /></div><div>Is trusting people bad?</div><div><br /></div><div>These are questions I always have to be prepared for, especially with the growing curiosity of my kid.</div><div><br /></div><div>I don't know the right answers to it, or if there are absolute right answers to it. </div><div><br /></div><div>I do believe that absolute selfishness leads to evil. It's probably what motivates perverts to rape, for scammers to steal, and for bullies to get what they want.</div><div><br /></div><div>I can't control the type of people my kid will encounter in the future, but I aim to to shape him to be a stranger that's not dangerous, and hope that he attracts the same kind of people in his circle when he grows up.</div><div><br /></div><div><b><u><span style="font-size: medium;">Discerning and Judgement </span></u></b> </div><div><br /></div><div>Back in high school, I had a schoolmate would ask for Php 5.00 during lunch time. Didn't know him, but he's a student, and he did look like he hasn't eaten yet. </div><div><br /></div><div>I gave him the money, since it's small change. Next day, I found him doing the same thing to at least two other people. </div><div><br /></div><div>A friend told me that it's a scam that a bunch of them are doing to buy stuff without spending their own money.</div><div><br /></div><div>The night before Vino was born, Che and I were sitting inside a restaurant next to a table with two older ladies. </div><div><br /></div><div>They talked to us for a bit, asking when Che's baby was due and some random small talk about our pregnancy. </div><div><br /></div><div>Chatty me humored them, but there was a point when both Che and I felt like they were already disrupting our dinner.</div><div><br /></div><div>When they stood up, they stopped by our table and gave us a colorful rosary, telling us that everything will be alright. </div><div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQygndW7r105nUQn3sz5hQjWogAsgFf69mYBSiwKQ9eQVYbWkGovlByclaQWfdE_Yd1x-v1ZUBkQsNlkUaQ-OQtoz-0Eb-xa0e8XChrnTakncPOsAtDdOu-rz94WmRqerP02S0nOIszkTe/s1080/rosary.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="810" data-original-width="1080" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQygndW7r105nUQn3sz5hQjWogAsgFf69mYBSiwKQ9eQVYbWkGovlByclaQWfdE_Yd1x-v1ZUBkQsNlkUaQ-OQtoz-0Eb-xa0e8XChrnTakncPOsAtDdOu-rz94WmRqerP02S0nOIszkTe/w320-h240/rosary.jpg" title="This multi-colored rosary was a pleasant surprise that night." width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This multi-colored rosary was a pleasant surprise for both of us.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div><br /></div><div>We are told to never judge a book by its cover, and these two occasions showed that there can be positives and negatives when you do that.</div><div><br /></div><div>I was scammed with small change, but if the dude was really hungry, I doubt if he would be able to eat with the Php 5.00 I gave him.</div><div><br /></div><div>The old ladies shared words of encouragement that we so badly needed that night, which we may never would have gotten if we chose to ignore them. </div><div><br /></div><div>You take the good and learn from the bad, but I was brought up to believe that what defines you as a person is how you choose to act, and not what others do to you. </div><div><br /></div><div><b><u><span style="font-size: medium;">Trusting Experience</span></u></b></div><div><br /></div><div>I take pride in being an easy person to connect with.</div><div><br /></div><div>I have diverse interests and a natural curiosity about things I don't know, which helps me find a topic of conversation with someone I just met. </div><div><br /></div><div>With this attitude, my circle grew bigger, and by learning from and about them, I was able to make different circles for people I wanted to keep, and push away those that I didn't need.</div><div><br /></div><div>I believe I became a better judge of character because of all those interactions, which allowed me to know who to approach or stay away from - something I want Vino to discern by himself when he grows older. </div><div><br /></div><div>Like any other kid, Vino is growing up to be very curious as well, and he loves telling stories. They're a bit incoherent right now, but he's trying to piece together some words to try and communicate it to us. </div><div><br /></div><div>He has a genuine fascination for discovering things, which I don't want him to lose. </div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dym2GUfJL4X2-NflsjmuHMILM4rjWn3TL9zczyUTNcpmv99ojvZ6f-3evKNtswdBPd2_NgVh37SWirA2WPUeA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><span><div style="text-align: center;">Vino loves to teach what he knows as well. </div></span><div><br /></div><div>Right now, he's not as confident when meeting new people, but as time goes by, he gets more comfortable with them.</div><div><br /></div><div>I want him to live in a safe environment, a world where strangers are supposed to be able to help you, not harm you. </div><div><br /></div><div>However, I understand that this utopian dream is easier to imagine than make a reality, and what made me the person I am now was forged stronger by learning from the mistakes I had along the way.</div><div><br /></div><div>I want help Vino to grow up to be one of the good people one would encounter, but I know that there's no better teacher than experience. </div><div><br /></div><div>I guess I should learn to trust that these strangers in the world will help shape a good man out of this small boy. </div></div>voltzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296000979681112106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1522850124805727571.post-64692748701617865682020-08-26T19:41:00.000-07:002020-08-26T19:41:24.848-07:00...Meaningful Connections...<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve always been terrified of death.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The uncertainty of what happens after it shakes me to my
core. Do we get reincarnated? Do we stay to haunt houses? Do we watch over our
loved ones? Do we go to heaven? What happens in hell? Do we become cows or
mosquitoes? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZz8d0hjHPqBoC0SZkMQqQXv1pZBEGNtBPH1SbOlnVnj62z3MMHPETUc44vQ5gO-HHO6WQPpFhTBAOQLVdA14ZEpnVGtnGOsra2aZeSJGxK5EiGmrWZt_PzFwds-VM3pAPPi55sm6rRo5G/s1600/heaven.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="313" data-original-width="602" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZz8d0hjHPqBoC0SZkMQqQXv1pZBEGNtBPH1SbOlnVnj62z3MMHPETUc44vQ5gO-HHO6WQPpFhTBAOQLVdA14ZEpnVGtnGOsra2aZeSJGxK5EiGmrWZt_PzFwds-VM3pAPPi55sm6rRo5G/s400/heaven.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How much would this suck?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I never got over this fear, and I probably never would, but
the thought of it always made me want to maximize every living day of my life. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I was single, it meant being everywhere every time –
I’d be the guy who would probably show up if you needed a drinking buddy at the
shortest of notices. When I moved away, that turned into multiple chat groups
on social media to stay in the loop of things happening in my friends’ lives. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I would stay up late and wake up at the earliest possible
time my body would allow me to, because I felt that I’d have all the time in
the world to sleep when I’m dead.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I could be playing games, staying up late to talk to people,
or drinking until there’s no more alcohol left to consume – I probably wouldn’t
sleep until my body tells me to.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve lost so many people in my life, and in remembering
their lives in their wakes, I always get reminded that material gains
mean nothing when you’re gone. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All that people are left with are memories with you, the
connections you made with them, and the conversations you left them with.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It made me value how I connected with people. It made it
easier for me to filter out those who I didn’t need in my life.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Here’s how I made changes to make more meaningful
connections in my life:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">1. Accepting What I'm Not</span></u></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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There was a trend that came up recently where people post their achievements with captions like "22 and bought my first car, how about you?"</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As a houseband, there are a lot of things that I can't achieve that my peers are working towards. I've beaten myself up thinking "I should be doing this, I should be earning this much, I should already have that, etc."</div>
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<br /></div>
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Some people around me feel like I could be capable of greater things, or that I am wasting my life away by not living up to the conventional standards of success.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Upon reflection, I realized that I have no reason to live by anyone's standards. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If I get a high-paying job or run a successful business, will they be satisfied with my achievements? Will it make their lives better knowing that I'm living up to what they think my potential is? Will my life be full knowing that I fulfilled their expectations of me?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then I realized there was only one question that mattered: does their happiness have to matter more than mine?<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj30PqmeSahjbMlrRz1-aLzz8YM_bRmeQUi6Btj7pSACTeQev7KXuoG-WPnMbPTuU-BodngHenZfuaTiDucMa12UPZlJTcwzTqRd-3SJFazH53r0NeNT_olPcfGAPq1STP5Czv09ohHfe4E/s1600/success.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="960" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj30PqmeSahjbMlrRz1-aLzz8YM_bRmeQUi6Btj7pSACTeQev7KXuoG-WPnMbPTuU-BodngHenZfuaTiDucMa12UPZlJTcwzTqRd-3SJFazH53r0NeNT_olPcfGAPq1STP5Czv09ohHfe4E/s400/success.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We should find our own happiness.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Life shouldn't be a competition. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We chase different goals, so who should define what a successful life is? If a capable engineering student decides to become a priest, does he fail in life because he can't utilize his talents properly?</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We live on different paces, so who's to say that we're lagging behind in terms of milestones? Susan Boyle was 40 when she introduced herself to the world and started her career as a singer. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I'm happy when my friends achieve their goals, and congratulate them with sincerity instead of jealousy. I've learned to not ask for favors, treats, or freebies for every success of my peers, because they don't owe me anything, and they worked hard to get to where they did. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
Meanwhile, I learned to live with those who are disappointed with how I am living my life - I stopped giving a fuck. </div>
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<br /></div>
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By accepting my reality, I no longer felt the need to justify my situation to anyone and just swept away any judgmental opinion that came my way. </div>
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<br /></div>
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It helped me spend less time with people who won't contribute positively in my life, and more time with people who matter to me. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">2. Filtering the Negative<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My social media feed is my source of news about the world as
well as my connection with my friends from past to present. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can’t do anything about depressing or disappointing events
happening, but friends who are constantly sharing negativity have no place in
my feed or my life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t expect to be surrounded exclusively by people who
share the same views that I do - I actually appreciate people who have a different
perspective than mine, as they educate me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, if after a while, this friend continues to share
nothing but his or her anger for the world, I either mute or unfriend them.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On top of my head, I can’t think of particular posts that
they did, but I know that I’ve disconnected from people who I think are
unreasonable when they argue, take fake news sites as bible truth, post 20
different versions of the same selfie, constantly flex things they clearly can’t
afford, and are literal keyboard warriors, among others.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx36aUKnOSe18lfy-Co9ioc9PkG_ZfWgY4hhLAaeV0L5jSzshPSm8rnWdN8Gf9AA5WgaJkTVLVtSA6KH0ymfbXgCaZvI26QGGXv1e5IsexgIBmQC1ZxFu5U2I1QjEfVMSQWBmbcBhao1f2/s1600/selfie.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="595" data-original-width="602" height="316" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx36aUKnOSe18lfy-Co9ioc9PkG_ZfWgY4hhLAaeV0L5jSzshPSm8rnWdN8Gf9AA5WgaJkTVLVtSA6KH0ymfbXgCaZvI26QGGXv1e5IsexgIBmQC1ZxFu5U2I1QjEfVMSQWBmbcBhao1f2/s320/selfie.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Your selfies aren't the problem - it's the effect on me that's negative.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’d probably still talk to them when we bump into each
other, but I most definitely won’t be spending too much time on that
conversation.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the finite time that I have in this world, I don’t want
to spend a bulk of it stressing about negativity either by their posts or
the effect their posts have on me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">3. Reaching Out</span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I usually comment on a friend’s post when it’s funny or
relatable, but when it’s about something serious, I tend to reach out through a
direct message.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Once, a college acquaintance posted about losing her unborn
child. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t remember us talking back in college, but as part of
the student council back then, I made myself known to a lot of people so I probably
added her on Facebook as she was one of the more recognizable faces of her major.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She left her heart out in her post, and I felt her sadness.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I sent her a message, admitting how I understood that we’re
not really close or anything, but I just wanted to tell her how I admired her
courage for sharing her tragedy, and how I hoped and will pray that she would
stay strong despite it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She appreciated my message, and even dismissed my claim that
she may not know me and even referred to me as “Kuya Voltaire.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It didn’t make us best buddies who comment or react on each
other’s posts, but that was never the intention.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I just really wanted to reach out to let her know that she’s
an inspiration instead of just posting “condolence” on her comment section with
a sad face emoji. I wouldn’t even be offended if she didn’t reply, but the
subsequent conversation we had was a welcome bonus.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Maybe she needed my message, maybe she didn’t. However, I sympathized
with her as a parent, and would probably welcome any words of encouragement if I
were in her situation. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
People are often hesitant to read messages from obscure people
from their past because they might be selling something or are asking to borrow
money.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I dream of a world where my son and those who will come
after him could care for each other genuinely, where they could help those who
really need it without the fear of being taken advantage of. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I remember a prayer I learned while my uncle was housed in La Salle that said “let me be the change I want to see,” and so I act
with the hope that this could be the norm of at least the people around me. <o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOFHIyS9XsuOLkcoYzDktytsHToEpAuk-hQIEcB4e72BEHcVkiopR2xYzJV58gp1s458ZDCLMf3pcTj6rGVCGkhG_fwdWaJ71oy1TLCk2wNioHogbdFT4x11QpZv329w2gqDjruJuBbLUC/s1600/la+salle+prayer.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="699" data-original-width="429" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOFHIyS9XsuOLkcoYzDktytsHToEpAuk-hQIEcB4e72BEHcVkiopR2xYzJV58gp1s458ZDCLMf3pcTj6rGVCGkhG_fwdWaJ71oy1TLCk2wNioHogbdFT4x11QpZv329w2gqDjruJuBbLUC/s640/la+salle+prayer.JPG" width="392" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm not a La Sallian, but my uncle was housed in their community for quite a while, <br />
and this was one of the prayers that stuck with me</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">4. Disconnecting</span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Whenever I have visitors or I go out, I make it a point to
put my phone face-down. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s led to a lot of arguments with my wife, because she
gets worried when I don’t answer for long stretches, since she knows that I’m
constantly on my phone when I’m at home.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, I understand that it diminishes the presence of
people around me if I’m more interested looking at my phone than talking to
them. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know, because I feel so small when I can’t even pry my
friend’s attention away from his or her phone when we’re together. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How many times have you sat on a table with friends, but no
one is talking because everyone’s looking for the perfect filter for their
post? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How many dishes went cold because you had to take a hundred
shots of your spread before you dug in? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A lot of us live different lives online as opposed to reality.
<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd2CPcBwSx8pxNbWvO4QlXwVpvCUb6riMspTfm5iGGFAxGKXd1wKmMXQGD32CCtLUx7Ay58tne_Gq9bGDsHXtAEkV9f7fTLT1wVjGMIeCCLkfgLyVaHqwjo45_f6U0JiXI6oLB3rUpI6Pk/s1600/cellphone.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="191" data-original-width="265" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd2CPcBwSx8pxNbWvO4QlXwVpvCUb6riMspTfm5iGGFAxGKXd1wKmMXQGD32CCtLUx7Ay58tne_Gq9bGDsHXtAEkV9f7fTLT1wVjGMIeCCLkfgLyVaHqwjo45_f6U0JiXI6oLB3rUpI6Pk/s400/cellphone.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What social gatherings looks like most of the time these days.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s easy to shape a personality online – angles make you
look thinner or taller, you can choose from multiple shots so that you can post
your perfect pose, and you can always share your smiles and happiness so that
people will see that you’re doing ok.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But reality can’t always be fixed by a filter or an angle. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m not saying you should post as much “aww, I’m miserable”
posts on your page as much as you post “wow look at how much fun I’m having today.”
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Rather, I want to encourage making connections by
disconnecting.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Engage in real conversations – those with emotions, with
unfiltered smiles, and unedited words, and not just sentences that end with
emojis. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
People actually once lived without social media, so it’s
really not a mortal sin if you don’t post every little thing happening in your
life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some of the best moments and conversations I had with
friends are those that end with us going our separate ways and later realizing
that we weren’t able to capture the moment with a photo. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These small changes I made in my life have not eliminated my fear of death completely.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, with these changes, I feel more fulfilled in how I am leading my life, and somehow lessens my worries about what comes after for the people I will leave behind. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I'm sharing this for anyone who needs it, but I'm more than willing to learn how you deal with the same fear, if you have it as well. </div>
<br />voltzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296000979681112106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1522850124805727571.post-92118434310298667972020-08-13T06:02:00.000-07:002020-08-13T06:02:50.520-07:00...TER's Day Thursday: The Day This Houseband Broke Down...<i><span jsname="YS01Ge" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">"They say you don't grow up you just grow old</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span jsname="YS01Ge" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">It's safe to say I haven't done both</span></i><br />
<i><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I made mistakes, I know, I know...</span></i><br />
<i><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">So many people close to me cut me down</span></i><br />
<i><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">This is supposed to be a bad luck town</span></i><br />
<i><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I jumped, I fell, I hit the ground</span></i><br />
<i><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">But here I am alive"</span></i><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">- Here I Am Alive, Yellowcard</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Back in 2016, I broke down.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
From having a decent-paying job that had me dealing with
different types of people from business owners to security guards, and my close
family and friends within reach at any time I wanted, I was suddenly alone in our
room in Singapore.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was my day off from my job as a cashier in a hawker-cum restaurant
serving Filipino dishes. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Everyone had gone to work, and I was sitting alone, chatting
with my cousin and my close friend who were miles away, talking about stuff we
might be talking about over drinks if it were a year before. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I didn’t realize that I was lonely. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It took 10 years of being together before I popped the
question to Che, because all that while, I thought it was only her who needed
to be ready to settle down. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When we got married, I readily packed my bags, and didn’t
look back as I started my new life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I took the first job that gave me a chance, and I thought
everything would be ok.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was talking to a lot of people again. I had the respect of
my co-workers, I was learning some cooking techniques and managing operations, and
I was able to earn something for myself. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, on that day, as I was talking to two of the closest
people in my life who wished we were drinking while we were talking, I felt an
incredible sadness filling me up.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Later that night, I talked to Che about everything that was
going through my head.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Suddenly, tears just started falling. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="border-bottom: double windowtext 2.25pt; border: none; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 0in 0in 1.0pt 0in;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="border: none; mso-border-bottom-alt: double windowtext 2.25pt; mso-padding-alt: 0in 0in 1.0pt 0in; padding: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="border: none; mso-border-bottom-alt: double windowtext 2.25pt; mso-padding-alt: 0in 0in 1.0pt 0in; padding: 0in;">
Before I knew it, Che was
feeling my sadness as well.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="border: none; mso-border-bottom-alt: double windowtext 2.25pt; mso-padding-alt: 0in 0in 1.0pt 0in; padding: 0in;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Back then, I thought mental health and depression were just
excuses for unexplainable poor behavior or toxic mood – I wouldn’t take it
against them, I’d probably talk them through it, but I guess I didn’t really
understand it as a real thing. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know that my episode of breaking down is not nearly close
to what people with depression or poor mental health have on their bad days,
but it helped me understand that it can happen to anyone, no matter what you
tell yourself to keep you going through the day. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Learning and understanding this state of mind isn’t done by
experiencing it once in your life. I think there’s so much more layers to it,
and I do want to understand it better because I don’t know who within my circle
would fall prey to it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wanted to share what helped me get past my experience, and
what I learned by talking to a couple of friends who had/have similar
experiences. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">1. Find your happiness</span></u></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s so easy to say but almost impossible to do. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, I guess what I learned is that happiness is not
something you work towards, but rather something that you discover.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Goals like reaching the top position in your company, owning
a car, buying a house, or whatnot are things that you work for, and achieving
them will give you momentary bliss, but it’s not happiness. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I believe that happiness could be a passion, a person, or maybe
even a place. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In my case, it was Vino, my kid. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihcEEh2cU5VNdqt2EEO9TostLvencO_1nWSrWyquI_Nh415mVHyk-BTmjMmVmRBvLeLSydGErGzikH38cREGNTnwlAjIhuQwrim7Zl7XZpS7dTlA2HpWGhD6mZXJRb3eNK61n1bgFO833f/s1600/17-6+%2528G150%2529%2528KC%2529Rudolf+Voltaire+Lozadq+7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihcEEh2cU5VNdqt2EEO9TostLvencO_1nWSrWyquI_Nh415mVHyk-BTmjMmVmRBvLeLSydGErGzikH38cREGNTnwlAjIhuQwrim7Zl7XZpS7dTlA2HpWGhD6mZXJRb3eNK61n1bgFO833f/s640/17-6+%2528G150%2529%2528KC%2529Rudolf+Voltaire+Lozadq+7.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My happiness, at one year old.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A little after my episode, we learned that we were pregnant.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was happy because it was one of my goals, but at the same
time, there were uncertainties we had to face; were we ready, will we be able
to raise a little human, can we support our lifestyle?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
More than three years after we welcomed him to the world,
the uncertainties have not completely diminished, but I know that my heart is
full with him.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I understood then that what made me feel empty was the fact that
I couldn’t let go of the life I had back then. However, once I held Vino in my
arms, I knew that I was finally ready to live in the present and just look
fondly back at the past. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">2. Conquer Your FOMO</span></u></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></u></b></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjniT9WFKs5oWxc5N9HWMGXr_yJWlUaptzBqfe8__FdbvtXApJKFD5AEYRCTVE7zksIMKr7oRXzMao-ioMgXm9WufIpKf1KNwcjgl08NcEJ8x8G2QsdhgRmJABFz2oPsL3JdFWenDwx0co-/s1600/DSC07661.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjniT9WFKs5oWxc5N9HWMGXr_yJWlUaptzBqfe8__FdbvtXApJKFD5AEYRCTVE7zksIMKr7oRXzMao-ioMgXm9WufIpKf1KNwcjgl08NcEJ8x8G2QsdhgRmJABFz2oPsL3JdFWenDwx0co-/s640/DSC07661.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of the rare times the boys were complete.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Fear Of Missing Out is something that was difficult for
me to admit and overcome. It seems juvenile for a 30-something to claim to
have, but I guess I had it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
See, I was the guy who you could call on literally any time
and I’d be there as fast as traffic would allow. My mom would call me a boarder
at home because I rarely stayed in.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had my circle, and constantly kept that circle growing. It
didn’t matter if I met up with one person, two strangers, or a bunch of friends
of friends – if there was something happening, I was there. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And suddenly, I was in a different country.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sure, I have friends here, strangers to meet, friends of
friends who would get together, but I needed to start my circles from scratch,
when I had my whole life building one back home. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Seeing everybody in my circle through social media go on
with the life I enjoyed with them back then made me feel alone, because I was
missing out on so much. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
From time to time, I still feel envious of my friends who
can get together like I used to with them, but understanding my priorities in
life helped me get over my FOMO. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I could choose to go back to my comfort zone – activate my
circles, find a job back home, and be mobile again. However, my circumstances are
different now, and the responsibilities I carry as a husband and a father weigh
far greater than what I had then.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">3. Live at Your Own Pace</span></u></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Similar to FOMO, seeing milestones achieved by your peers
can force you into thinking that you’re not doing enough in your life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We learned this early in our relationship.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Che and I have been together for close to 16 years now, and
are approaching our fifth year of marriage. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It wasn’t always smooth sailing, and about five or six years
into our relationship, our friends were starting their own families.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For every wedding we came to, or every time the topic of
marriage came about, she would ask me why we weren’t seriously discussing it
yet.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWW80y4ovuCfcgepx5__gSEkfhe38KwIfchAzIRsclboRqLUW3nyLvDxp29uVHq-39HxhvxFUo-BfY4DMkXkpQ72l2TJ4gFbkELEcBR13541Bz6-jnAzHtDy9GKefjX95Qx-mbBkncEHia/s1600/DSC_0346.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1075" data-original-width="1600" height="428" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWW80y4ovuCfcgepx5__gSEkfhe38KwIfchAzIRsclboRqLUW3nyLvDxp29uVHq-39HxhvxFUo-BfY4DMkXkpQ72l2TJ4gFbkELEcBR13541Bz6-jnAzHtDy9GKefjX95Qx-mbBkncEHia/s640/DSC_0346.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of Che's closest friend's wedding, which sparked one of the many discussions we had about the topic</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Back then, both of us had white collar jobs, but we had
pretty crappy spending habits as we fully enjoyed the fruits of our labor. Che
also wanted to accomplish a lot of things – three of them were to get a Master’s
Degree, teach in the University, and work overseas.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I told her that she would not be able to accomplish any of
her goals if we got married “just because” everyone else was tying the knot. I
even dared her to find someone who wanted to settle down with if she thinks I’m
waiting too long.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was a risky dare, but it paid off.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She went to Singapore, found a nice job, and improved her
financial management skills to a point where she is able to balance responsibilities and
indulgence. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She wasn’t able to accomplish all her goals, but she doing damn
well with the one she set off doing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By the time we got married, we did it in our own terms – we got
the date we wanted, the place we chose, and spent it with the people we wanted
to share it with. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Don’t measure your success by what your peers have
accomplished. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Comparing your status with your peers will not get you
anywhere if you sulk in envy, make assumptions on how they got there, or just
talk about them with other people.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Take inspiration from them, and act on what you can control.
You may not get what you want immediately, but at least you started working towards
it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">4. Be Confident in Your Own Skin</span></u></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m not the best looking guy.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Heck, Che had a crush on two of my classmates who didn’t
even know her but never really admired me for my looks. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, as a famous Filipino line goes, “daig ng madiskarte
ang gwapo.” (A resourceful person beats a handsome face)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I didn’t try to sweep her off her feet by acting like Lee
Min Ho or anything, I just genuinely cared for her more than I could care for
myself. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Since we got married, I have been either jobless, a cashier
for a food stall, or a freelance writer.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
According to the social norms we have grown accustomed to, I
am not a person that commands respect because I don't have a high enough position in a company or something.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have had close friends and even relatives who would tell
me that they “expected more” from me or that I “wasted” my “potential” by
ending up where I am right now.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If I allowed myself to crumble to these expectations and
social norms, then I will probably don’t even deserve self-respect. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Instead, I choose to take pride in who I am.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1XHeHnfOVGsLjDw6Ft_yrUeyEd_PL0I_XZiTiXRfYkrtRbYRa_YGQB9LPyLWaXPjgO-dOMEVRbphyI5KHgy3Du0HCWGbXAuAIrJ4jjEHEnekSyX4uGby1r26u0V2t_uqXkUsOnQZ_rx8X/s1600/chebday.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="735" data-original-width="902" height="520" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1XHeHnfOVGsLjDw6Ft_yrUeyEd_PL0I_XZiTiXRfYkrtRbYRa_YGQB9LPyLWaXPjgO-dOMEVRbphyI5KHgy3Du0HCWGbXAuAIrJ4jjEHEnekSyX4uGby1r26u0V2t_uqXkUsOnQZ_rx8X/s640/chebday.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thankful to be able to meet new people who appreciate me for being who I am</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If I can’t be proud of being an average-looking,
dark-skinned houseband (house husband) whose only job experience in Singapore
is a cashier at a food stall, then who will give me an ounce of respect? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even if I don’t bring in the big bucks, I carry myself with
the confidence of someone who owns a business.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It baffles people who are so used to living in a predictable
reality, and somehow gets them to treat me as an equal.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I always believed that at the end of the day, absent all the
titles, the fancy clothes, and our looks, we’re all just people, and no one has
the right to look down on others under any circumstance.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s not outside the realm of possibility that people still
look down on me behind my back, but those are things that are outside my circle
of influence. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The most important thing to have is belief and respect for
yourself – if it resonates to others, then it’s just a bonus, but it should never be the
goal. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">5. Verbalize Your Feelings</span></u></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As the title of a hit Korean drama goes, “It’s OK to not be
OK.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYZKppVZj4G8i4qlYIcaD35OFtIDvkbKFyLU1_V73A5o7gdYRTwjq_tAMdXSQwHhSmlg8nLa2sRGOqM5AgBUqNvUsLCCQFBt3_5fvMRgVBvjXh-nW1iPIIwPbK4zxRypvWJI8Be0rqszwf/s1600/ok.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="762" data-original-width="1080" height="450" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYZKppVZj4G8i4qlYIcaD35OFtIDvkbKFyLU1_V73A5o7gdYRTwjq_tAMdXSQwHhSmlg8nLa2sRGOqM5AgBUqNvUsLCCQFBt3_5fvMRgVBvjXh-nW1iPIIwPbK4zxRypvWJI8Be0rqszwf/s640/ok.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">As of this writing, we haven't finished watching this yet, but so far, it's been great</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We live in constant fear of being judged, which leads us to
always pick up a mask to show we’re doing just fine even if we’re scarred
beneath it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
During my episode, I realized that I kept so many things
inside so that Che and our housemates wouldn’t be worried about me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Back then, I felt like my issues were so miniscule compared
to the stress and problems that they had <span style="text-align: center;">to face on a daily basis at work. I didn’t
want anyone to be burdened by listening to me because I didn’t even know if
they could help me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I felt like a waste of time.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It took a while for me to admit to myself that it was
weighing heavily on me, and before I fell hard on my worries, I learned why
they called your partner a “significant other.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There was no other person in the world I would have poured
my heart out at that time but to Che, because no matter how insignificant my
issues were to the world, we made a promise to God that we would be together for
good times or bad, and I had a duty to share my “bad times” with her. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was only when I was telling her everything that all those
uncontrollable tears fell down from both our eyes. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After that, it was easier for me to admit my moment of
weakness to other close friends. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
While not everyone has a significant other who they can
share all their worries to, I believe that everyone has at least that one
person who they can trust with certain things.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even if they take it negatively, verbalizing your feelings
for the first time will make it so much easier for you to share it with others,
which would help you learn who among your friends genuinely care for you, and
who are exclusively for fun and games.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, everything must start within yourself – never think
that you are insignificant, because you matter.<o:p></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">If you don’t think that anybody has time for your
worries, you will never have the courage to share your feelings which will
eventually eat you up inside. </span>voltzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296000979681112106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1522850124805727571.post-62239048973150533082020-05-27T11:17:00.000-07:002020-05-27T11:17:03.383-07:00...TER's Day Thursday: Revealing My Kitchen Secrets...<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I didn’t know how to cook.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I love eating, but I didn’t really have that urge to learn
how to cook as I grew up. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Discovering new flavors are always exciting for me, which
made working in the manufacturing industry quite fun for me, because it taught
me how to discern flavors (and fragrances) on a different level. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It didn’t make me want to cook though, because I felt like the
best part of the cooking process is the payoff – eating. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, after I proposed to my then-girlfriend, I realized
that I was going to be leaving the life of comfort that I grew accustomed to,
and I needed to learn how to cook for my would-be wife when we’re living
together. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
About five years in, and I believe that I’ve cooked enough
to say that at least I am no longer a kitchen newbie because a number of people
already think I can cook well while quite a few have validated that thought. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhjSLadd1k3zJ6J1-hCUygvAvPkkAHZKmI6za5MWRsrRPILeK8OCOBcHkSPjisZOE3plYIpTQtqreGAy7Wb_JuVqB3gu1qmKrTjCN6G0AOwePF713o-UTyuRuRO2MMkYuPZatpD_pghCG3/s1600/bimbap.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="796" data-original-width="1413" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhjSLadd1k3zJ6J1-hCUygvAvPkkAHZKmI6za5MWRsrRPILeK8OCOBcHkSPjisZOE3plYIpTQtqreGAy7Wb_JuVqB3gu1qmKrTjCN6G0AOwePF713o-UTyuRuRO2MMkYuPZatpD_pghCG3/s640/bimbap.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First post-marriage cooking post on my feed. I've cut down my prep time over time owing to familiarity.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think I’m on the level of when I’m part of a group that
asks “who here knows how to cook?” I can confidently, but slowly, raise my arm.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m writing to share the secrets I’ve learned along the way,
which may or may not help you in your culinary journey: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>1. Make Technology Work For You</u></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Before I cook a dish, I usually scour the internet for the appropriate
recipe. When before, you only had cook books and family recipes to teach you
how to cook, you now have a plethora of recipe sources right at your
fingertips, so make use of it!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG7coZuiU_WUHWH4DBLJMxyi7oQQgzPdknDQs5aWj4jTNBau57W0VBZ-lF61iCM8is87tC056lHfyjYPV7XqnyySBz6aqfzYLiL2aPd9-ecwIJ5di9CsT-caNMhPEmjWoN8MJe8Obe-QFJ/s1600/ribs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="908" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG7coZuiU_WUHWH4DBLJMxyi7oQQgzPdknDQs5aWj4jTNBau57W0VBZ-lF61iCM8is87tC056lHfyjYPV7XqnyySBz6aqfzYLiL2aPd9-ecwIJ5di9CsT-caNMhPEmjWoN8MJe8Obe-QFJ/s400/ribs.jpg" width="226" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;">I think half our spice rack was filled because of the stuff I put on this rub.<br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Julienne” was an alien term for me, but it was a common
word in recipes, so I’m guessing even if I had a cook book with me, I wouldn’t
have been able to do it on my own.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But because I live in the age of YouTube, I was able to
learn that technique and a lot of other processes by watching how others did
it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Unfamiliar ingredients are also easily learned with a simple
Google search, and if I can’t source it out, finding the appropriate substitute
(and even where to buy it) are similarly solved by asking the almighty Google.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Just like there’s no one way to cook Adobo, there’s also a
variety of ways to cook any dish, so I usually check out about five or six
recipes before deciding on which steps I could replicate with consideration to
availability of ingredients, tools, and skill involved. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I always imagine what the effect of each step does to a
dish, so if I think one recipe has a good idea but another has an efficient
execution, I would fuse those together to come up with a dish that tastes nice
in my imagination.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So far, it’s been helpful.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>2. Conditioning Through Description</u></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I enjoy watching cooking shows and anime. I’ve watched most
seasons of Masterchef, a Korean series about a pop-up restaurant in Spain (Youn’s
Kitchen), followed Cooking Master Boy, Yakitate Japan, and Food Wars to name a
few. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoZCK9qkj9D_vl1G4yq6dTWsTX9Vsq0ZBioXkEamfshrYCJ-NJK4umyVtQPL5NEHruTtAFDxCYLtwZmptm6ZWiuLAOMsRccV4OyqeZOGGSsgfeRVX4kFrfHxuDtNW6ZfOcxHXeLoQS4sk-/s1600/steak.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1597" data-original-width="891" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoZCK9qkj9D_vl1G4yq6dTWsTX9Vsq0ZBioXkEamfshrYCJ-NJK4umyVtQPL5NEHruTtAFDxCYLtwZmptm6ZWiuLAOMsRccV4OyqeZOGGSsgfeRVX4kFrfHxuDtNW6ZfOcxHXeLoQS4sk-/s400/steak.jpg" width="222" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Souma from Food Wars cooked this dish with a seemingly legitimate explanation regarding the onions. <br />Found out it had real-life truth, so I decided to try it.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In all cases, I would imagine that the food they serve are
amazing, just based on how they describe it and how they react to it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of course I know that some of the anime dishes are probably
impossible, while I’m guessing not all of the food served in real-life shows
taste as well as they sound, but if left to your imagination, it could stay as
an amazing dish.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Over the years, I’ve learned to be confident in anything I cook.
After all, if I didn’t like it, how else would others receive it? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
From time to time, I build up excitement for my dishes –
during the process of cooking or preparing the dish, I would create
anticipation by telling those who will eat that I’m about to do something amazing,
or that I’ve tasted parts of it, and I feel like I nailed it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
4 out of 5 times, I would get a positive reaction when they
actually taste the dish; of the 4, maybe only 2 really liked it, while the
other two didn’t dare offer their criticism thinking they might offend me. The
one who was not as impressed as the other four would offer a half-hearted
praise before stating their criticism. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Personally though, getting someone to take a bite of my
cooking is winning half the battle. Seeing them finish their plates is
satisfying enough, but getting seconds is really humbling. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Who knew confidence could add such flavor to a dish?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>3. The Home Cooking Adventure</u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m not a professional cook, and I didn’t take any cooking
classes. That said, I don’t want to teach how I cook my dishes not because I’m
selfish, but because I don’t have the proper credentials for it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Besides, all my dishes only have a list of ingredients, with
no defined quantities. See, I’m the guy who would chop half a head of garlic
when a recipe asks for two cloves. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Considering I don’t feed paying customers and I really enjoy
food, I treat each dish as an adventure – I never know how it will turn out. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t have a specialty dish, because if you asked me to
cook you that delicious Paella that I cooked for you once, what I’ll serve you
next time will not be the same, but I believe you’d appreciate it differently. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPYubsof_o5HICQb6NHyYM457MVskypOKXynWzBh-RoqeKPFzzxdm1cDTSu0Xr-1mZ7wO6uV8TbFbP9WQMzvILRgjYDXj-rwUC3AH_yMywSM7yIFeeyPxSWA7ydGcw4641xkNwN1Or6OAs/s1600/paella.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1583" data-original-width="892" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPYubsof_o5HICQb6NHyYM457MVskypOKXynWzBh-RoqeKPFzzxdm1cDTSu0Xr-1mZ7wO6uV8TbFbP9WQMzvILRgjYDXj-rwUC3AH_yMywSM7yIFeeyPxSWA7ydGcw4641xkNwN1Or6OAs/s400/paella.jpg" width="225" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Looked for a Paella recipe because that Christmas' theme was Spanish. This was version 1.0.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It will be a different kind of delicious, because I would
take notes from the last time you tried it, and will try to improve the dish based
on your taste preference.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I grew up in a family that doesn’t have a heritage recipe,
but what my wife and I have in common is that both our fathers rely on the “Pacham”
method of cooking – “Pachamba-chamba” or “Luck-based” cooking. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It may not be consistent, but on the bright side, eating
Adobo for five straight days won’t be as boring as it sounds because it will
seem like it was cooked by five different people. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>4. Presentation Is Everything</u></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Food blogs and food reviews are always a great example of
item #2 of this blog. If having an item about TV shows influencing my cooking
is not enough to tell you how much of a sucker I am for reviews, then let me
share another point.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When How I Met Your Mother had an episode about “The Best
Burger in New York,” I tried to hunt down my own “best burger” in Manila, and
took food reviews as bible truth. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s when I realized that some bloggers would exaggerate
their experience because they are paid or they got free food. (for closure on
this story – Sweet Ecstasy is legit, quality of Charlies’ went down a bit for
some time but I’m not sure if it picked back up again. Shake Shack was nice when we visited last year.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Still, they got the job done when it comes to having at
least one person try out their place. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Given this, while I’m no influencer, I understand that social
media allows me to extend my food experience with my circle of friends. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDnFG7GT0uc_wvwxyR_9_iNT2gtHObRHkWjuxoibiwc-LctXNZmyufF4F7lBvwilQuNi7Xq7I-xBenvAxWgSAaVcQ6zyGk-VVsKrHvnogkpXkH2i6E9XyYNj1J1O0R_O2wEervzRYUM2Mk/s1600/pizza.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1570" data-original-width="895" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDnFG7GT0uc_wvwxyR_9_iNT2gtHObRHkWjuxoibiwc-LctXNZmyufF4F7lBvwilQuNi7Xq7I-xBenvAxWgSAaVcQ6zyGk-VVsKrHvnogkpXkH2i6E9XyYNj1J1O0R_O2wEervzRYUM2Mk/s400/pizza.jpg" width="227" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Missed Shakey's Manager's Choice Pizza and tried to make my own. Looked close enough, I thought.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
While my dish could only feed three and a half people, maybe
thirty more can experience it through the pictures I post on my feed or story.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As such, I make always make it a point to make my dish look
pretty.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even if you can’t taste it, at least I was able to share my
dish to your imagination and make you wonder how good of a cook I am. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />voltzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296000979681112106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1522850124805727571.post-86329973973607140972020-05-11T19:27:00.001-07:002020-05-11T19:27:34.434-07:00...Let Me Tell You About My Mom...<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
My mom is an example of a genuinely nice person who is
always misunderstood – as in no one really understands her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv8-Dn2OQRxPF1eKV9K2hGZ7ifmpK-wOHiRW2uBuR_JmqTEMDigP20MlbtDsv0MaQ7XModLI3o_tG-4gobhyphenhyphenGRZR0uKoov2fKxTWyyXLPAJZbupIXx8jJ9KM5XOo8kAJLtwcuny72VgxU4/s1600/mama.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv8-Dn2OQRxPF1eKV9K2hGZ7ifmpK-wOHiRW2uBuR_JmqTEMDigP20MlbtDsv0MaQ7XModLI3o_tG-4gobhyphenhyphenGRZR0uKoov2fKxTWyyXLPAJZbupIXx8jJ9KM5XOo8kAJLtwcuny72VgxU4/s320/mama.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Rare solo pic of my mom, and only because I got married in 2015</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have endless stories of how she drives my dad, my sister,
my brother and me crazy with her comments, complaints, and decisions that I
feel like if Jokoy and I switched moms, he’d be a bigger star than he is.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here’s a quick conversation my sister had with her recently:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Sis: I’ll just send this package to my friend because I
can’t deliver it personally.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Mom: Why? The delivery might be more expensive than the
package! You have so much cash now that you’d rather just spend money on having
it delivered than go by yourself?<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Sis: My son is being difficult right now, and besides, she’s
the one paying for the delivery fee.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Mom: Isn’t it embarrassing to your friend? What if I just
pay for it?</i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Like a typical mom, there is no right or wrong answer to any
of her questions – she will have a comment on just about anything you would
say. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She would often complain about having no money, but she’ll
insist on buying (and actually buying) an irrationally expensive version of
what you are looking for. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My mom cares too much about what people think. She will
never admit to it, but she does.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, she can be a bit tactless at times, speaking
thoughtlessly with what she presumes are light-natured jokes, but may actually
be a little bit offensive to someone, thus creating an uncomfortable
atmosphere. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Case in point: at my brother’s wedding, his would-be-bride
was a bit late, something that would not be so surprising considering she was
hands-on about everything, opting not to get a wedding coordinator.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After five minutes past the invitation time, my mom kept
joking to the bride’s parents that it seems she’s going to be a runaway bride
because she isn’t there yet. (I called her out after blurting out the same joke
three times, and she was wondering why I did.) <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At times, she will care too much that it will make you
uncomfortable to the point of irritation. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She makes a fuss about the smallest things and will hold a
grudge forever – she has never once joined her high school reunion particularly
because she didn’t like this one person from her batch, so believe me when I
say that if you did something against her at some point in your life, she may
not have forgiven you just yet. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She is not perfect, but I do love her, which led me to write
this.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
See, my mom, for all her quirks, is really just a genuinely
nice person.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She’s the type to make sure that we have clothes that fit
right even if she will update her own wardrobe once every decade, extend our
allowances in the middle of the week if we run out of money so that we can eat
properly despite not doing the same for herself, and makes sure that there is
always food on the table for whatever time anyone wakes up or goes home. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Outside of our own family, she would volunteer herself to
help someone who needs something done, at times even if it’s out of the way. She
would always thought of the well-being of others before she thought about
herself. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She raised us up with the goal of making us turn out to be
good people. Some of the things she instilled in us are the habit of not
borrowing money so that we won’t be a bother to anyone, the mindset of making
sure to bring something over when we’re invited to someone else’s home, and
never trampling on any person to gain an advantage in life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And yet, despite her good nature, all she gets is self-pity.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At 66 years old, this woman still travels at least two hours
from Cainta to Binondo to work in the office that she has gone to for over 40
years now, and endures the evening rush to go back home from Monday to
Saturday. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She can’t retire because she worries too much about what
happens when she’s no longer working, and she has no concept of relaxing or
taking a break, so it would be a nightmare for her to wake up one day and not
have to do what she has been doing for more than two decades. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She has no social life, no hobbies, and spends her free time
either playing games on her tablet or watching Tulfo. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Her one actual friend is one of the few people (apart from
family) who I sincerely believe cares for her with no ulterior motives. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s easy to ridicule and laugh at her missteps, but not a
lot of people really know what she has gone through, and I’m taking the chance
to write this. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have this uncle who everyone also laughed at because
of his amazingly unlucky hand in gambling, but he can’t stop doing it. Earlier
in the millennium, we lost him because of an unbelievably stupid case of
mistaken identity.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At his wake, people came and shared how much of a good
person my uncle was. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t want that to happen to my mom. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I want her to know that she is loved while she is with us. I
can’t change what she is, and if she can’t love herself as much as I’d want to,
I at least want to make her feel that she is loved, like really loved – not
loved because she’s going to buy you stuff in Divisoria, or because she’s going
to pay the tab when you dine out, or because she’s going to lend you money you
probably won’t pay back, or because she will do you a favor no one else would. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t want people telling me how much they appreciate my
mom “when she lived” because no one seems to appreciate her now that she is
living.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For most of her life, she has worried about others that she
would forget about taking care of herself.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is woman is genuinely a gift to mankind despite her
imperfections, and she deserves better than self-pity. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So when all these lockdowns are over and you get a chance to
meet her, I hope that you could give her a genuine smile or do something nice
for her so that she would feel that love could extend beyond her family. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />voltzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296000979681112106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1522850124805727571.post-88046045852883425332020-04-30T01:57:00.000-07:002020-04-30T01:57:26.092-07:00...TER's Day Thursday: Things I Learned from My Uncles... <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
My dad and his 12 siblings grew up in a pretty independent
household and produced different personalities – from strict, traditional
disciplinarians to fun, but almost too carefree uncles and aunts. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was a very well defined division that I was told as a kid
to stay away from some uncles because “I would grow up the wrong way.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These are the same uncles that made me sip my first taste of
beer when I was in the third grade, and later urged me to have my first bottle
in a family gathering while they distracted my dad nearby. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDngLUHa0WN6t_cBR68LMMr7wjnTkgDUs8NmFcyLuHRQAqZahzb4-jxcEN8zafcSEgbZhvcz2YZGT88YwoiBI3j4o72F2H9HAkcdlvVA5eTS2mF9cbed13ZYO9RAn9xvofrs04e537fvCC/s1600/family.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="960" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDngLUHa0WN6t_cBR68LMMr7wjnTkgDUs8NmFcyLuHRQAqZahzb4-jxcEN8zafcSEgbZhvcz2YZGT88YwoiBI3j4o72F2H9HAkcdlvVA5eTS2mF9cbed13ZYO9RAn9xvofrs04e537fvCC/s400/family.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not even half of my family, but our batch of cousins was close to complete, <br />and one of the younger ones had a baptism of fire of sorts on this night </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Approaching my 34<sup>th</sup> year of life, I think I grew
up to be a pretty decent human being despite being exposed to these “bad
influences” in my life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You can’t get burned if you never touched fire, and I
believe that my dad and his siblings became the people that they are precisely
because they learned when they got burned by their mistakes. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As such, I hung out with my uncles, because despite their
carefree nature, they are very much concerned about our well-being, and they
didn’t want us to fall to the same pits they had to climb out of. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Good or bad, here are some of the lessons I learned from all
of them, including my dad: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">1. Vices are inevitable. </span></u></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Getting my first sip of beer in the third grade and getting pushed
by my uncles to drink when I was in my first year in high school might seem
irresponsible, but hear me out.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Being as exposed as they were growing up (they lived in the
heart of the town and had regular mah jong players frequent their house), they
understood that habits and vices are almost an inevitable part of one’s life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Instead of finding our vices in drugs or smoking, they chose
to expose us to beer early hoping for either of these two outcomes:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>a. We don’t like it and hate it so much that when we get
older, we’d think that it wasn’t worthwhile.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>b. We liked it, and find it enjoyable, so we’d have this
vice instead of the other two.</i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For the most part, it was a pretty good batting average as
there are only a handful of us who picked up smoking (probably less than 10 in
40 kids).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We all grew up to drink though, but I can bet all my fingers
that you will have a good time when you join any of our sessions. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">2. You can choose your friends, but never your family. </span></u></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With such a diverse family, it’s natural to have
personalities that would clash from time to time. In my lifetime, I’ve seen
some of my uncles and/or aunts not talk to each other for extended periods of
time because of said differences, but would eventually get together like nothing
happened. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Most arguments are of petty causes brought about by ego, but
there are some that led to serious issues. However, more than drilling the
concept in our minds, they showed through their actions and camaraderie just how
thick blood is compared to water.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They are not the most affectionate bunch, and admitting
fault in any way almost never happens, but despite those, we learn to get over
differences because we are a family. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">3. Do anything you want, as long as you can stand by it.</span></u></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is one of the most important things my dad always taught
me, as his dad taught him. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With such a big family, they had to figure out independence
from a very young age. As a result, almost every one of them grew up to be
self-made people who enjoyed a degree of success in their chosen fields. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Growing up, my dad never imposed rules on me. He wouldn’t
tell me to study or sleep early on a school night, what mattered to him was
that I woke up for school and passed my subjects. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In a way, it taught me my limits. I had the freedom to do
what I wanted, but considering their own careers with however little that they
had, there were high expectations from our generation to achieve or exceed
their achievements.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I couldn’t be thoughtlessly irresponsible because though
they held a safety net to catch me, they made it very clear that they were
letting go after the catch.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With so many considerations before acting, I carry close to no regrets in life, because I know that whatever I did was the best possible action at the time that I did it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">4. There are no problems in life,you create them.<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My grandfather imparted this to his children, and I believe it
is one of the main reasons why we’re generally happy people. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s basically his version of Occam’s Razor – don’t
overcomplicate things. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For my grandfather, we create our own problems by worrying
about things. If you’re hungry, you eat. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you can’t eat, you find a way to
eat instead of finding excuses why you’re not eating.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You hate your work? Leave or suck it up. Can’t suck it up
but can’t leave? You created your own problem right there.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It seems too simple to be life-changing, but I believe it
helped me become a person who never carries burdens. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u><b><span style="font-size: large;">5. Enjoy the fruits of your labor, but never stop planting
seeds.<o:p></o:p></span></b></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of my uncles is seen by his older siblings as someone
who is too carefree to be considered as a “role model.” However, he never took
it upon himself to be a “role model” and instead treated me and my cousins as
he did his close friends. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
During one of our sessions, he shared how much of a
rollercoaster his life had been. He said that in his youth, he got to
earn more than the average person of his age and indulged in things he enjoyed
– mostly drinking in bars.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Looking back, he thought he was too generous for his own
good, and regretted that he wasn’t able to buy himself insurance or invest in
something worthwhile, because eventually, those funds ran dry, and a
complicated turn of events pushed him out of employment for an extended period
of time.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He shared his cautionary tale during my mid 20’s, because
while he enjoyed our company, he wanted us to take the chances that he
neglected to take when he was our age. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He didn’t regret being generous though, because at the end
of the day, it made him and the people around him happy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">6. How we are shaped greatly affects our choices in life. <o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Most of the men in our family had flings apart from their
significant others, and they stuck together to keep those flings from their
respective partners. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I always wondered why they did it, since my aunts were
family when they got married, and during one of our sessions, it was explained to
me why it was natural for them.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of the 13 siblings, not all of them were my grandmother’s
kids. However, I grew up not knowing this because of their close bond, and even
if it was shocking, I didn’t care to know who were not my grandmother’s
children because it really didn’t matter. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That was the culture that they grew up in – being open and
accepting of my grandfather’s infidelity. I wasn’t brought up that way, which
led me to feel indifferent about how they cover for each other.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I realized that our life choices are shaped by our
environment, and not everyone was brought up the same way that I was.
It helped me have a better appreciation for the diverse personalities in my
life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I've imposed my morals on people as if I am infallible, but I know now that what I know to be naturally right might not be as easy to do when one grew up in a radically different environment. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">7. Cheating may be caused by the unlikeliest reasons.</span></u></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I had a chance, I asked one of my uncles why he cheated
on his wife.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I expected something about unhappiness, growing distant,
losing physical contact, or something like that. But I got a totally different
answer:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Because I had the power.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In more modern terms, it was basically a flex. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He didn’t have to, he could have chosen not to, but he did,
because he can. Going back to the previous point, he grew up in a culture where
infidelity is not that big of a deal, and so when he had the chance, he did it
himself. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I've seen how cheating affects both parties, and I dread the idea of my wife experiencing it. Understanding the causes of cheating might help me navigate away from it, and it was enlightening to know that the real world does not always adhere to clichés. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">8. People are more than their titles and social status.</span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My dad and my uncles treat everyone with respect, and those
who have reached a management position won the hearts of their subordinates
precisely because they are treated as people rather than underlings. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They are equal-opportunity bosses who don’t look at which
school you came from or your previous work experience. If you believed that you
can handle the job and subsequently prove it, you had a chance to work your way
up.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My dad promoted people who would otherwise be found
unqualified by other bosses, and in return, they showed everyone else in
management that my dad did the right thing. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My dad and his brothers are so
well-loved by their respective subordinates that we were treated like royalty when
we are first introduced to them.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It helped me gain the confidence to converse with just about
any type of personality. It taught me not to be intimidated by rich business
owners and never look down on a street vendor or a utility man or the waiter at
the bar.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Names, titles, and social status don’t really matter when
you’re talking to people, because like my dad said, we all breathe the same air
and our farts all smell bad. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u><b><span style="font-size: large;">9. It’s never too late to make things right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b></u><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In Niccolo Machiavelli’s The Prince, he posits that ideally,
one should be both feared and loved, but admits that it is difficult
to achieve, and that if one needs to make a choice between the two, he should
be feared rather than loved. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of my uncles best illustrated this idea in his lifetime
as a father. He was the type of guy who would make you feel like you killed a
person if you leaned on his car and chose to be feared in order to establish
his dominance.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, at some point, he became such a teddy bear that almost
nobody believed he was actually trying to make a change for his kids. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When before, my cousins would cower in fear when their dad got
home from work, they eventually looked forward to hugging him when he comes to
the door, and I believe they still do to this day.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We sometimes tease him for trying to make up for his past a
little too much already, and while he’s dangerously close to being on the negative
spectrum of the “loved” part (i.e. subjects take the liberty to do what they
please) at times, I believe he is much closer to the ideal than where he was
earlier in our lives.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It showed me that it doesn’t matter what your situation is
or how old you are, the key to achieving a goal is to start working towards it.
<span class="Heading2Char"><span style="font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u><b><span style="font-size: large;">10. Never stop playing. </span></b></u><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of my uncles was known for his unlucky streak in
gambling.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He bet on card games, horse races, and whatever he can bet
on, but he wasn’t always lucky. They even told me a story that he once walked
all the way from Sta. Ana Racetrack back to their home in San Juan because he lost all his
money on the track and didn’t have money to go back home. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Win or lose he always kept a smile on his face, and would shout
his classic line “whattalayp!” (“what a life!”) whenever he lost. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He always believed that he would win somehow, and while it
didn’t always end up winning, he happily accepted his fate and looked forward
to another chance the next day. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One day, that chance didn’t come for him because he was
abruptly taken away from us. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I knew him as a person that put his family above everything else
despite his habit of gambling (he’s gambling so that he could give more than what
he can for his family anyway), and someone who always believed that things will
turn out for the best if you persevere (which explains why he keeps gambling).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He understood that playing means there will be winners and
losers, and that no matter how high the stakes, it’s still just a game. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some people can take games too seriously that they forget that
it’s just a game – win or lose, we’re still going to live another day, and play
another game.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In life, no matter how far down we think we are, we just have
to believe that our time will come. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It may not be tomorrow, it may not be soon, but you’ve got
to persevere because we can’t win if we stop playing. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">11. Embrace your flaws, and the world can’t harm you.<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My aunts and uncles are probably the some of the most
irritating people you could be around with if you take life and body image too
seriously. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Once, one of my uncles loudly chanted “Defense!... Defense!”
to encourage his visitor who was playing my cousin…in chess. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I was a kid, they would laugh at my face while I cried
and later on, my sharp chin would be their favorite thing to make fun of. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I remembered getting hurt, feeling ugly, and felt really
insecure about my whole personality. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, when I came to an all-boys school in high school, I
realized that the words bullies might use to hurt me are the same things that I’ve
been teased with all my life, and so nothing got to me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was a skinny nerd and a new kid in a harsh high school environment, but
somehow, I blended in with any crowd I chose to be part of.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No matter how harsh my family seemed to be when they made fun
of me, it somehow helped me not to think too highly of myself, and made me
embrace the flaws that I couldn’t do anything about. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ultimately, it became the armor I needed to face all the
cruel people of the world. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
==========================<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know I learned a lot more from them, but these are some of
the first ones that come to mind. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Maybe I’m overthinking their actions, but nonetheless, I’m
thankful to have grown up under their guidance, directly or indirectly, and I can
only hope that I would be able to pass on their best lessons to my growing boy.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />voltzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296000979681112106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1522850124805727571.post-91779888067766823072020-01-29T01:56:00.000-08:002020-01-29T01:56:00.706-08:00...Pumpkin...When I got married, I also became a brother to four younger sisters.<br />
<br />
My own older sister has been pretty much independent throughout our lives, and while my little brother followed me around when we were younger, he grew to carve his own path in life, so we take care of each other differently.<br />
<br />
My new sisters, they were different.<br />
<br />
I met them when they were as young as 10 years old, so I always felt responsible to take care of them somehow.<br />
<br />
Over the past couple of months, two of them got married, with one of the twins tying the knot just this weekend.<br />
<br />
It was an incredibly intimate ceremony of about 50 expected guests that included select family and friends, but it was festive despite the heat.<br />
<br />
That said, I felt the need to share their story.<br />
<br />
Some years back, Kathreen took the chance to become an exchange student in South Korea because she wanted a better future for herself.<br />
<br />
People may argue that she could do that without leaving the country, her whole family, her boyfriend, her friends, and her job among others, but these people may have a different view of what a "better future" is.<br />
<br />
She went to a beautiful country that offered knowledge that could advance her career, but she had to deal with loneliness, the language barrier, and some complications with the program she chose.<br />
<br />
She studied what she needed to and even learned to speak the language, but unforeseen challenges and loneliness cannot be overcome by just those. <br />
<br />
At the time when she was at her lowest, fate would deal another shot in the gut as she learned how her boyfriend was unfaithful while she was miles away.<br />
<br />
It was at around that time when we visited South Korea and met with her.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQDkiydToppwZGTU7fuobkKBkaXIB043ZaB6S9rjz7z9HtZ5zRGmBBigBN3pVY1PZ_ekf86gWmixZHV6FXKaXUynph_5Ucmcs_IFxU-bCnySLL0ZTw3JGOkY05YGoJc5-9HpXfODJh6Hdz/s1600/korea.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="959" data-original-width="960" height="398" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQDkiydToppwZGTU7fuobkKBkaXIB043ZaB6S9rjz7z9HtZ5zRGmBBigBN3pVY1PZ_ekf86gWmixZHV6FXKaXUynph_5Ucmcs_IFxU-bCnySLL0ZTw3JGOkY05YGoJc5-9HpXfODJh6Hdz/s400/korea.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Emotional support"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
When we came to Busan, she introduced her housemate, JP.<br />
<br />
The tall dude was respectful, reserved, and tried as hard as he could to strike a conversation with everyone.<br />
<br />
But most importantly, I knew that he was all those because he cared for Kath.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzxuiYi0AlD-kD_bTJJY9AMAh6vSz6FzQWuJ3IGLhWG3Llt4lkHxtd9lxLRrBm932iljA1iQADnQhOddo4pbIRHKFBn586FOwDZw6-YwftSob_cUBrOCPq2XBEiEF9uprr9XjaPjmVqToo/s1600/team+korea.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="682" data-original-width="906" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzxuiYi0AlD-kD_bTJJY9AMAh6vSz6FzQWuJ3IGLhWG3Llt4lkHxtd9lxLRrBm932iljA1iQADnQhOddo4pbIRHKFBn586FOwDZw6-YwftSob_cUBrOCPq2XBEiEF9uprr9XjaPjmVqToo/s400/team+korea.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Team Korea! Not in picture, JP, because at this point, he was a random friend.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Some months after that, Kath graduated from the exchange program and went back to the Philippines.<br />
<br />
It didn't take long for JP to follow Kath back to the Philippines and get together as a couple.<br />
<br />
When I asked Kath if she would move to Korea or if JP would move to the Philippines, she said she isn't looking too far ahead.<br />
<br />
However, in November last year, JP proposed, and we learned that they were going to get married this January.<br />
<br />
Like anyone else, I naturally thought that it seemed that their relationship progressed too quickly, but I knew that every one of us moves at a different pace.<br />
<br />
When they exchanged their vows, I knew that even if it all happened in less than a year, there was no use to delay the inevitable.<br />
<br />
"When we visited this place the first time, the staff asked me if I was a businessman," JP said.<br />
<br />
"I said I was Kathreen's boyfriend."<br />
<br />
"I realized that I was nothing but a lover of Kathreen."<br />
<br />
With that short anecdote, JP bared his soul to everyone in attendance.<br />
<br />
He was not defining himself in any other way - not a first time tourist, not by what he did, and not even by his name.<br />
<br />
Even before getting married, he defined himself as a partner.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, Kath shared a different story that also showed why JP was the man she was going to spend the rest of her life with.<br />
<br />
She said that her favorite cafeteria spots were right across each other, but she never talked to him.<br />
<br />
In South Korea, suicide is rampant because of the immense pressure brought about by various factors in different age groups.<br />
<br />
Knowing this, Kath was worried when she didn't see JP for consecutive days in the cafeteria.<br />
<br />
When he finally turned up, she gathered the courage to talk to him.<br />
<br />
"I didn't want to lose the chance to save him," she said in her vow.<br />
<br />
They had pumpkin soup together when that first conversation happened.<br />
<br />It's not special by any means, but it started what became a beautiful friendship that blossomed into mutual care for each other.<br />
<br />
They wanted to save each other, as they stood across one another while they delivered their vows, they both promised to protect each other from the cruelness of the world.<br />
<br />
JP expressed how much Kath changed him, describing how selfish he was and how huge his ego was, so he felt that Kath saved him from himself.<br />
<br />
He dreamed of a life that never even crossed his mind before Kath came along.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, Kath couldn't stop expressing her gratitude for being there at her worst, and felt that he saved her from utter depression, which helped give her strength to pull everything together and persevere through all her challenges.<br />
<br />
It was an easy decision for her to start a new life with him in the country where they met, even if she didn't think about it when they first got together.<br />
<br />
They have had each other's backs since they first met, and more than promise love that they already have, they both vowed that they will protect each other, and I believe every word of it.<br />
<br />
As a big brother to that little girl who grew up to be a fine woman, I feel at ease to share the responsibility of caring for Kath with a man who has my same passion to protect her.<br />
<br />
No matter how fast everything happened, everything just made sense.<br />
<br />
They were meant to be together.<br />
<br />
And now, they are.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPPAjM9fZl6eRwGhA4is8OkpbywwP05Z1V0hL-piIYGxSH7RSVW-7A-sKAAaPbu0bRSzcj8-HW_Nydofak-nWLMjAG6f8TSaZrrX0vCjQjETpC-ixEmunxbNXHlLhOMvKo_ZcPHO8lwNqM/s1600/wedding.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="528" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPPAjM9fZl6eRwGhA4is8OkpbywwP05Z1V0hL-piIYGxSH7RSVW-7A-sKAAaPbu0bRSzcj8-HW_Nydofak-nWLMjAG6f8TSaZrrX0vCjQjETpC-ixEmunxbNXHlLhOMvKo_ZcPHO8lwNqM/s640/wedding.jpg" width="468" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Newly weds minutes before making it official :) </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />voltzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296000979681112106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1522850124805727571.post-59510010929778005922019-10-03T22:58:00.001-07:002019-10-03T22:58:14.416-07:00..."The One"...We live in a world where we are made to believe that "true love" happens when you find "The One" - the person that you are "destined" to be with in this lifetime. <div>
<br /></div>
<div>
However, like the movies and stories that we watched and we were told, it's just a fantasy. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Sure, wedding videos and stories of real couples we know would have us believe otherwise, but that's only because they have to be the protagonists to their own fairy tales. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"The One" is not real, but love is. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Not everyone has the luck of finding the right person immediately - some have to go through several "The Ones" before finding the person they would spend the rest of their lives with. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I dated a girl in high school and had a petty falling out with my cousin because I thought that she was "The One," but that fairy tale didn't even last a year.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Early in college, I met a girl who I thought was "The One" and even if she hinted at reciprocating my emotions from time to time, it mostly felt like a one-sided love. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The next year, I met someone who I felt I wanted to take care of. She was a bubbly girl who always seemed happy, and I strongly felt that I needed to keep her happy. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Like my previous relationships, I hoped that she would be "The One" for the hopeless romantic in me. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Our relationship started with a lot of awkwardness, a certain level of friendship, and a one-sided romantic feeling coming from me. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
After almost 15 years since that day that we first met, we're now blessed with a 2-year-old toddler and heading to our fourth wedding anniversary in a colorful decade-and-a-half together.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWaTrX_KlR-bcCHgHA3aEukRxsBTLcro8UAB3U2AQJnqX04QWJSUBH0rbz8JuzyycCpo4i55qU3i7lpDzjoY5tyktrz8i84LEgBTMmBZzuKKuNZKQRFwpmXl-dyvIWo5YlrbLHSAYJ2a8t/s1600/15.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="720" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWaTrX_KlR-bcCHgHA3aEukRxsBTLcro8UAB3U2AQJnqX04QWJSUBH0rbz8JuzyycCpo4i55qU3i7lpDzjoY5tyktrz8i84LEgBTMmBZzuKKuNZKQRFwpmXl-dyvIWo5YlrbLHSAYJ2a8t/s400/15.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Almost 15 years in, and our smiles are still as real as the first day we met,<br />and I'm thankful that our little boy inherited his mother's bright smile</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
As romantic as "love as first sight" is, it doesn't happen in real life, nor does "The One" appear in your life and you instantly know that that person is "destined" for you. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Similar to starting a fire, one has to ignite a spark before love can blossom. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I hoped that my wife would be "The One" for me, and while she didn't see it that way then, I put in the effort to make her know that I truly wanted to be that person for her. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
She took a leap, and we wouldn't have gotten together in the first place if she didn't take the risk of trusting me.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Even as we got together and culminated our boyfriend-girlfriend relationship with a big wedding, our story didn't end there. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It's still going on, because reality doesn't have a "happily ever after" and we have to constantly go through challenges without the promise that it will be the last big hurdle in our lives. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So stop living in a fantasy world where "The One" will suddenly step out of your dreams and into your life to magically solve all your love problems. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Meet people, get to know them, and don't be afraid that you're making a wrong choice, because every mistake is an opportunity to grow and learn, and the reward could lead to a lifetime of happiness with a partner. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
You just have to take the leap and ignite that fire. </div>
voltzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296000979681112106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1522850124805727571.post-45457892430748638262019-08-29T23:18:00.001-07:002019-08-29T23:18:07.082-07:00...Inevitable Truths...<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Vino attends play school now, playing and interacting with
like-aged kids for two hours a day, three times a week. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For a couple of sessions, I’ve been told by teachers that
Vino has been a bit aggressive when the other kids play with toys he likes to
play with. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Growing up with not much playmates apart from me and Ate
Jen, Vino is still not used to playing with kids his age. He shares his toys
when we ask him, but playing with the smaller kids who can’t express through
words yet makes it seem like the kids are just taking the toys away from him –
something he doesn’t really like.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When we do play at the playground, I observe Vino’s behavior
with other kids. When a big kid insists on playing with some big kid toys (i.e.
air blasters that shoot out soft balls), Vino takes a step back and lets the
kid take it. Sometimes he cries, sometimes he just looks at me and moves on to
another activity. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As a parent, I can just chalk this up to growing pains, but
I can’t help but wonder how to introduce some inevitable truths that he will
have to come to terms with.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">People Take Advantage<o:p></o:p></span></u></b><br />
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></u></b>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtAvngosnBlmWWFa9m6HwbyQDiGutf_R7TobhBmhbPrnKLdgjsiCW0NcDyF10wQAKQtEZnr0Yu9MDe1AeOQHicmQZEEMu69uZqNb3AUpqs2aP3Maa0MriFt5wSQIqP37DXLiTzBIpukS6w/s1600/unfair.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="498" data-original-width="500" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtAvngosnBlmWWFa9m6HwbyQDiGutf_R7TobhBmhbPrnKLdgjsiCW0NcDyF10wQAKQtEZnr0Yu9MDe1AeOQHicmQZEEMu69uZqNb3AUpqs2aP3Maa0MriFt5wSQIqP37DXLiTzBIpukS6w/s320/unfair.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We're never really in a fair fight in real life.<br />(source: <a href="https://www.toonpool.com/cartoons/unfair%20advantage_103529">https://www.toonpool.com/cartoons/unfair%20advantage_103529</a>)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the kids’ section of the Church we go to, we asked Vino
to share his toy with a kid who shared his, then this older kid comes in
(probably around 4 or 5) and takes a piece of plastic bottle cap or something,
proceeds to let Vino believe that it’s a toy, and takes Vino’s toy away. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m supposed to teach my kid the value of sharing at an
early age, but when people like that big kid comes around, how can I tell him
that what that kid did is a totally different concept? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We encounter the big kid when we grow older – people still
take advantage of those who are too nice </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
to speak up.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve had friends who worked harder than their bosses for a
fraction of the salary. There are some who accepted compensation well below
what they deserved based on output just so they could at least be paid. I even
had a friend who wouldn’t have learned that the company wasn’t paying his taxes
(even if it’s deducted from his pay and reflected on his payslip) if he didn’t
decide to leave. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
People in relationships also go through it as well, with one
party doing what they want to do and the other just accepting it in an effort
to “keep the peace”.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There’s a Filipino saying that goes “walang manloloko kung
walang magpapaloko,” which translates to “there won’t be con men if there are
no victims.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The quote is a perfect example of how conning people is
encouraged rather than frowned upon. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It makes me want to choose if my kid should be the one
taking advantage of people or if he would be taken advantage of, when ideally,
I would want him to trust that people would be just as nice to him as he is to
them.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">The World Is Not All Song and Play</span></u></b><o:p></o:p><br />
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></u></b>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRQS2Htejj2eTBgKmzFjQPgScCzFwYrx-UV0soScYfLdFR2qt4pAjbEqfhITBpC1DAG2fsTKk3s_rRNXtegVVWkBWF-95jQw1A1nZ6NdGpC4O8NWBILMkRm7YKkFq0oTkPHX8mbE8IJNkM/s1600/offensive.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="294" data-original-width="420" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRQS2Htejj2eTBgKmzFjQPgScCzFwYrx-UV0soScYfLdFR2qt4pAjbEqfhITBpC1DAG2fsTKk3s_rRNXtegVVWkBWF-95jQw1A1nZ6NdGpC4O8NWBILMkRm7YKkFq0oTkPHX8mbE8IJNkM/s400/offensive.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gotta teach the kid the art of not giving a f*ck.<br />(Source: <a href="https://www.pinterest.ph/supriya9/quotes-d/">https://www.pinterest.ph/supriya9/quotes-d/</a>)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Vino enjoys watching nursery rhymes like other kids. His
laughs are priceless as he sings along and dances to the tunes. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m almost afraid of him growing up to realize what else the
world has to offer.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Amazon burns, the Arctic is melting, Filipino kids are denouncing
their parents in order to join extreme leftists, and people are debating about
where transgenders are supposed to pee.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Vegetarians promote their lifestyle to a point that some
shame meat eaters, some nationalities assert their superiority over others like
they own the world, and there are just some people who think their opinions are
the only ones that matter. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We don’t live in a world where our only problem is “what
shape can we use as a fin for our beach ball fish?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Having met a lot of people with different experiences, I understand
that there are people who will think they are better than others and will do
whatever they can to pull others down instead of proving that they are. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are people who will leave trash behind or throw their
cigarette butts just about anywhere, but would support saving the world in
their social media feeds. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I want my kid to grow up to care about people, but people are
not giving me enough reasons to make him want to care. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I want him to grow up embracing his roots, but my countrymen
are not helping themselves by voting in idiots in the government. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He will have to grow up in a world where every little thing
is an issue and he’ll have his work cut out for him if he wants to do anything
about the bigger issues. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
I'm afraid that he will grow up in a world where he has no voice, because every damn thing is bound to offend someone, but more importantly, at the rate the world is deteriorating, it's terrifying to accept the fact that there may not be a world to grow up in. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>Truth is Fabricated</u></b></span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u><br /></u></b></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9LO3gzN1FEQ72GDwa9h2AVXeWiH0x-tkvc-FJwlKsek8xZ31YT6jKvdsphtdj1xfLKf2hUo5XY-iNgoifxuieMABNePW_bGRSY45JpS-MVem6AHKzWAby-EistqjZ6Goeze_f82T7lAHz/s1600/cartoon.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="143" data-original-width="352" height="259" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9LO3gzN1FEQ72GDwa9h2AVXeWiH0x-tkvc-FJwlKsek8xZ31YT6jKvdsphtdj1xfLKf2hUo5XY-iNgoifxuieMABNePW_bGRSY45JpS-MVem6AHKzWAby-EistqjZ6Goeze_f82T7lAHz/s640/cartoon.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What is the truth, then?<br />(Source: <a href="http://www.campbellexpress.com/download/view%20all%20campbell%20express%20archives%20/2018_campbell_express_archives/02_-_february_2018/20180228.pdf">http://www.campbellexpress.com/download/view%20all%20campbell%20express%20archives%20/2018_campbell_express_archives/02_-_february_2018/20180228.pdf</a>)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I saw a quote somewhere that said that “a lie told often
enough becomes truth.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think that quote is the basis of troll factories, which
have become powerful tools that make or break a person or issue through the
internet. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It makes it difficult to filter out the actual truth that
even some grown-ups are confused at which are legitimate news or not. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
From news without basis that spread like wildfire to digital
editing that could produce deepfakes or virtual reality, it has become easier
to spread misinformation than truth.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As a Philosophy major in college, I’ve always valued the
pursuit of truth. In my professional career, I make it a point to ground all my
articles on reliable research even if it is an opinion piece, so what could be
written in under an hour, I do for two hours just so I can have multiple
sources for my story.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Inevitably, Vino will have his own social media
account in the future, and will be able to surf the web without my guidance.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He’ll open himself up to a world of make-believe, with people
spreading stories so often that it becomes the reality. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="border-bottom: double windowtext 2.25pt; border: none; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 0in 0in 1.0pt 0in;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="border: none; mso-border-bottom-alt: double windowtext 2.25pt; mso-padding-alt: 0in 0in 1.0pt 0in; padding: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="border: none; mso-border-bottom-alt: double windowtext 2.25pt; mso-padding-alt: 0in 0in 1.0pt 0in; padding: 0in;">
While there may have been
manufactured truths when I was growing up, I didn’t have the wealth of
information that Vino might have access to when he grows older.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="border: none; mso-border-bottom-alt: double windowtext 2.25pt; mso-padding-alt: 0in 0in 1.0pt 0in; padding: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="border: none; mso-border-bottom-alt: double windowtext 2.25pt; mso-padding-alt: 0in 0in 1.0pt 0in; padding: 0in;">
=========================================================<br />
<br />
I understand that the world is not all bad.<br />
<br />
There are still good people in the world, it's just a bit more difficult to find them.<br />
<br />
I didn't grow up to be who I am because my parents guided me or because the school system I grew up in was perfect in preparing me for this world, but rather because I was shaped by my experiences and interactions with people I came to know.<br />
<br />
I was blessed to be surrounded by nice enough people to learn from, and not too evil people to drive me out of my path.<br />
<br />
I've always wanted to be that parent who was always available to my kid, but I know that he can't learn everything from me, as I didn't learn what I know from a single person.<br />
<br />
Eventually, he'll have a life of his own, and all I can do is hope that I've guided him enough to be able to determine the right type of people to surround himself with. </div>
</div>
voltzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296000979681112106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1522850124805727571.post-23105824473704995962019-06-28T06:51:00.000-07:002019-06-28T06:58:02.467-07:00...Bacon and Eggs...<span style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">I came to Australia for my brother's wedding because that's what families do, but I didn't realize I was supposed to be the Best Man.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">I didn't want to speak, but I felt like I should at least do something, right?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGMqi6dxW7pJhP4VFGejz6heVbp719TYfncfN3LjaP2b3QbSkZWsBG0t2zO_gmrBY5nK7Ll2t2yaJN9hjR1vcXPiFmiW9s7YBwRGk8GmAbkLsnOjfDWNpqHbNf2xc1m2O5VfIDM5-xnRo8/s1600/FB_IMG_1561730171120.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGMqi6dxW7pJhP4VFGejz6heVbp719TYfncfN3LjaP2b3QbSkZWsBG0t2zO_gmrBY5nK7Ll2t2yaJN9hjR1vcXPiFmiW9s7YBwRGk8GmAbkLsnOjfDWNpqHbNf2xc1m2O5VfIDM5-xnRo8/s320/FB_IMG_1561730171120.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The bride walked down the isle to the tune of the Imperial March. These two get each other.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The two of them shared vows today, and while Job shared the story of how he knew he was going to spend the rest of his life with Liz, Liz said that Job was the "bacon to my (her) eggs" - that he makes the her better, and that they were inseparable.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Incidentally, Job was telling us that he survived most of his first few months alone in Australia living off bacon end eggs, so I thought it was a perfect title for their wedding.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Anyway, if I took my shot at saying a few words earlier, here is how it would have went:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Job is the youngest of three children. I'm not sure how you got to know him, but we knew him as the computer nerd who kept following his big brother around.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">For me, it was impossible to see him as a mature adult, especially as that older brother whose actions he constantly tried to emulate.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">And now, he got married to a beautiful wife, and they already have an adorable kid together.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">When Job and Liz visited the Philippines for the first time, I learned that they had two versions of how they met each other. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">That is not my story to tell, but most of you probably know about it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">It seems like a fun thing, being so in tune with each other while telling a diffierent version of one thing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">If the US could make a TV series called How I Met Your Mother that lasted for 9 seasons, why can't Job and Liz have their fun, right?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Personally, it was all the same to me, because at the end of the day, what matters is what they have now; a love for each other that easily radiates when you see them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">It's no wonder that the product of their love is that little ray of sunshine called Caleb. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I'm no expert in love, but as someone who has met the woman who I would spend the rest of my life with, I enjoy outcomes more than beginnings.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Job and Liz are two people who found each other at the right time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I married my wife after 11 years being together with her, and while this couple didn't take quite as long to decide to tie the knot, it never felt rushed to me, because I knew that they knew what they were doing. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">My brother would share some of his life events with me and our older sister, and the way he talks about Liz made me feel assured that this was a serious relationship right from the start. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I mean, like I said, Job was a computer nerd for me. By the time Liz went on a third date with him, I knew she was a keeper. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Not a lot of people can handle or understand my brother, and while I don't really have a choice as his brother, other people can easily just shut him off.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Yet this girl decided to go on more than one date with him. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">What my family and I never realized is that Job has actually grown up ever since he moved out.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">He's not the same, pesky kid who's only looking for his brother's approval, but rather, more of a man who's working on a bright future for him and his family.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">He's no longer just playing a character in a video game, he's now part of a small community, interacting and caring for a number of people.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">H</span><span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">e loves what he does, the people he cares for appreciate him, and his co-workers and friends know him as a fun guy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Suddenly, my little brother is actually a mature adult now. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">To Steve and Maria, and the rest of Liz's family, I can't tell you what to expect from the kid I grew up with, because clearly, he is a completely different man now that he has actually grown up. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">What I can tell you is that I didn't turn out pretty bad myself, and our sister is doing alright on her own as well.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">This is a result of being raised by two loving parents who wanted nothing but the best for us.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">We strive to repay their love for us by being the best that we can be, and I know that Job will be doing the same.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">To my newest sister, thank you for helping my nerdy little brother grow up. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I hope you remain patient with him for all his flaws, as I know that he'll fix those to be better for you and Caleb.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">It's alright to be worried about the future, because nobody knows for certain what's going to happen, but after today, you're officially bound together in facing all that uncertainty.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">It's gonna be fun.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Cheers to you guys!</span><br />
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voltzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296000979681112106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1522850124805727571.post-9742614818029379792019-06-24T08:05:00.001-07:002019-06-24T08:05:32.440-07:00..."Bob"...<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Ikaw ba si Bob Ong?” <br /><i>
(“Are you Bob Ong?”)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Around 2008, my friend Imon had told me about this girl he
met online.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He was dealing with a pretty bad breakup from a girl who
he’s been with for over five years at the time, and he’s poured most of his
frustrations by writing some of his best works in his personal blogsite. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At the time, there’s this rising author by the name of Bob Ong, who was witty, funny, and relatable for most people.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwK9XRYfHUtRIsRjQWKGcptloWFh0CpXMaaf5X0Gju11sLuG35u32hFQ_HALNrHa6SahejUmuatTuK0eAGa_UKL3Y8_Cgdg9J1ItszssjJqbVSPBMQ0PThKu5M4FMoJJ9xp1EwXLrf8oQ9/s1600/bob+ong.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="446" data-original-width="1489" height="188" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwK9XRYfHUtRIsRjQWKGcptloWFh0CpXMaaf5X0Gju11sLuG35u32hFQ_HALNrHa6SahejUmuatTuK0eAGa_UKL3Y8_Cgdg9J1ItszssjJqbVSPBMQ0PThKu5M4FMoJJ9xp1EwXLrf8oQ9/s640/bob+ong.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Quick Google search of his works made me realize he wasn't a new writer at the time, but for some reason, it was around 2008 when I got to know about him.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For some reason, his works gave the same vibe as that guy
for multiply user “serioustraveler” and they started to have a conversation in
the comments section.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was pre-Tinder or anything online dating related, Facebook was
on the rise, and we were still able to make blogs on a website known as Multiply.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In true Imon fashion, the conversation was pretty much just
bullshit, but apparently, they took a chance on each other and eventually had a
private conversation.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The next thing I know, I picked Imon up for a random
basketball game with our Philosophy juniors (we have already graduated at the
time), and there she was; a young girl who was probably younger than the guys
we were going to play against, with a bright smile that made her taller than
she actually was, and eyes so innocent you would wash your mouth if you cursed
around her.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Si Ella nga pala,” he said, having already briefed me in
the car that this was the girl in the comments section.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Naturally, I tried my best to befriend her, as I have taken
pride in being that guy who welcomed people into our circle. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It didn’t look like it was serious at first, because I knew
for a fact that my friend was on the rebound, but he was happy to find someone
who appreciates him, and she was happy to meet a brilliant character.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They met a few more times; soon, he took her to one of our get-togethers, and our good friend Christian even had the confidence to vouch
for Imon.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“<i>Si Imon ang pinakamabait kong kaibigan</i> (Imon is my most
well-behaved friend),” he said, pretty standard line for anyone that is
introduced to him by any of us.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“<i>Itataya ko lahat ng law books ko, di ka lolokohin nyan </i>(I
bet all my law books that he will not cheat on you).”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Christian was a law student at the time. He made a few
missteps during our college days, but he is one of the rare ones who made it
through four years in UST Law and pass the bar exams on his first try, so you
can bet that those law books were pretty important for him.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was a bad bet, really.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After his brother graduated in college, Imon decided leave
the condo they were staying at in Katipunan to teach in a school near his home
province. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There, he would tell me about meeting an amazing girl who
checked out all the boxes of his dream girl, and probably more. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He felt that they had a connection, and eventually called it
quits with Ella.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ella was a mess after that. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She didn’t know what she did wrong, or what she could have
done to keep him – all she knew was the pain of being left alone.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After seeing my mom at her worst dealing with heartbreak, I
vowed to do everything in my power to not let anyone close to me go through the
same pain. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Despite Imon’s honesty to me, I chose to betray his trust. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I told Ella about that girl. I advised her to let him go,
because he broke her trust, and that if he did it once, I could not assure her
he would not do it again.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I told Ella to not let him into her life again, especially
if she couldn’t learn to trust that he would take care of her heart the way
that it deserved to be.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Imon is my friend, but if he would constantly cheat, she
would be throwing away her youth for a lifetime of grief, and I thought that if
my friend could break her trust, he could get over losing Ella eventually.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I gain nothing from it, other than I know that I’m doing my
part in Ella’s life to help her avoid a lifetime of suffering.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They would lose touch for a while, with Imon later deciding
not to pursue dream girl, knowing he did Ella wrong.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It didn’t take long before they were in contact again, but
this time with Imon more cautious on being honest around me, and Ella dreading judgment
after going against my advice.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I might have lost two friends at this point, but if I were
given the chance to do it all over again, I probably wouldn't change a thing. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At the end of the day, they had their own realizations, and
decided to be better for each other. Maybe I played a part in it, maybe I
didn’t. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What matters is that they welcomed a baby boy to the world,
and he is growing up to be a fine young man because they learned how to be
parents together.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They didn’t map out what they would do for the rest of their
lives, but they knew that they were going to be living the rest of it together
as a family. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Earlier this month, more than a decade after that first day
that “serioustraveler” thought that “iamtheblur” is not Bob Ong, Ella and Imon
have decided to tie the knot.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIDhzftK19f_w0EJfba0gWMIr5cB_VFv1jEzbhQXy8Li5QcbIi1-ij0P5Kk62yKQ-uf3cwsjVkZeR9gir6k9HS7dUwZOPDnCfe4qOOz-2Ddi4Hj5dNt6FWQQt4RVE5ass0F318rIGqmXKg/s1600/20190614_113729.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIDhzftK19f_w0EJfba0gWMIr5cB_VFv1jEzbhQXy8Li5QcbIi1-ij0P5Kk62yKQ-uf3cwsjVkZeR9gir6k9HS7dUwZOPDnCfe4qOOz-2Ddi4Hj5dNt6FWQQt4RVE5ass0F318rIGqmXKg/s400/20190614_113729.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gatecrashed the family event, so decided to take photos instead of being part of it.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was not a huge, fancy wedding in a Church you would
assume a couple who stayed together that long would finally have; rather, it was a
quick ceremony made official by the highest-ranking official of the city that
saw their family blossom. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Despite living in a different country, I wasn’t going to
miss it for anything in the world. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I may not have been their best friend, but I knew that at
some point in their lives, my opinion mattered to them, or else they would not
have shared their heartaches with me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was probably the only non-family member who was invited to
be at the ceremony, but I didn’t care. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had to see it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had to be there.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Their unlikely love story is probably not a recipe for an
all-time romantic movie, but it is a real story, with real people who faced
real problems.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As life goes on, the wedding is far from their
happily-ever-after, but it was an event that gave me much joy, as if I was
actually part of their story.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of course, there’s probably more to their story.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t know how Imon swept Ella off her feet twice, or how
they had a kid despite being so conservative to the point of having a forehead kiss
on the “you may kiss the bride” part of their wedding ceremony.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuHMF4artiTKRaAcn0DB4_U-wG_Y5AxjDnS3Y5tH_3sFV0qyPlWzTdXP9KhK3AekO7ErQyhyphenhyphenNsqGQ4nyDJYDTLgT9_rw98rQ9hQ1i-_sEoih7GQZnpD52-nXo9yg9wtJ1qruOSfwhzv4pp/s1600/VideoCapture_20190625-003917.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuHMF4artiTKRaAcn0DB4_U-wG_Y5AxjDnS3Y5tH_3sFV0qyPlWzTdXP9KhK3AekO7ErQyhyphenhyphenNsqGQ4nyDJYDTLgT9_rw98rQ9hQ1i-_sEoih7GQZnpD52-nXo9yg9wtJ1qruOSfwhzv4pp/s640/VideoCapture_20190625-003917.jpg" width="360" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Even Mayor was surprised by this.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All I know is, that despite my efforts in trying to keep
them apart to save them from heartache, they decided to find happiness with
each other. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They could have chosen to cut me off from their lives after getting back together, but instead, they chose to keep me
around, and invited me to arguably the biggest day of their relationship.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even if they did cut me off when they decided to get back together, I would live happily with the thought that they found their way back
to each other.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
While there are so many things in this world that are beyond
our control, choosing who we love and what to do about it is well within our
powers.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
People will have varying opinions on how you want to live
your life, and while most of them will go against your beliefs, every one of
them was intended to help you get through your challenges.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you tell anyone about the story of “Bob,” it would be
easy to think that it was a story about a fling that wouldn’t even last a year.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And yet, here we are, more than 10 years after they shared
their common interest in an author whose popularity waned a few years after
they met, and they are still working towards a better future for each other and
their kid.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If anything, their love teaches us that you should never be afraid to take a chance, and always choose what’s
best for you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<br />voltzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296000979681112106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1522850124805727571.post-18323663265746804062018-10-08T03:27:00.000-07:002018-10-08T03:27:59.230-07:00...Houseband Chronicles vol. 2: Realizations From Real Conversations...At this day and age, I still haven't figured out if I'm an introvert or an extrovert.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I enjoy the company of people. I like to meet new friends, I like to stay connected with old ones, and you can easily leave me alone in a room full of strangers and I'd leave with a crew at the end of the day. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
However, I also love to keep to myself. I can spend an entire day walking around the city with my earphones plugged in, listening to music or podcasts and not care about anyone else. I hate calling on the phone to set up appointments or place orders.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Given these facts, life as a houseband has been pretty neutral for me. I don't have to deal with a lot of people, which is a plus for my introvert side, but the extrovert me is bored to his wits. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
My phone, then, has become an essential tool for me to stay connected with others. Unfortunately, it is also a main source of distraction.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Image result for cellphone interaction cartoon" src="https://s3.amazonaws.com/lowres.cartoonstock.com/telecommunications-cell-phone-mobile-modern_lifestyle-gadget-bwhn160_low.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cellphones have become such a norm now that not having one seems like a foreign concept.<br />
(image source: https://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/m/modern_society.asp)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I've been to gatherings with friends where five people are staring at their phones on the same table. I've been to dinners where the hungry couldn't eat because the perfect photo hasn't been snapped. The most physical interaction people have sometimes is when they share the phone watching a single video. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I'm guilty of it too. The introvert in me enjoys the extrovert things because the phone becomes my avatar to interact with others.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
That said, when I get a chance to meet with people, I try to make it a point to detach myself from my phone in order to have amazing conversations. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Here are some of the things that I realized from my recent interactions with friends and family:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>The Social Media Connection</u></b></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u><br /></u></b></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOISDylxxAKUVqXIMFZmi_fS9kAlQl2dT6nb4wmTjAoWrcrT01xIGcVonJzgX9OwJZZ2dCcwbaIiZnq4Z41D2S-m032w-rLcDQAELSOvk4lehpKyJBCUeA2664BDGywYmZQ6WLYoURhR2W/s1600/20180721_103119.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOISDylxxAKUVqXIMFZmi_fS9kAlQl2dT6nb4wmTjAoWrcrT01xIGcVonJzgX9OwJZZ2dCcwbaIiZnq4Z41D2S-m032w-rLcDQAELSOvk4lehpKyJBCUeA2664BDGywYmZQ6WLYoURhR2W/s320/20180721_103119.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Didn't see each other at all through college and years after that, and I still became a client.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
In July, I had a high school friend do our baby's birthday cake.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I met Rachelle when our class met theirs in an official school event where an all-boys school has some kind of soiree with an all-girls school. We didn't really hang out, but our class was pretty tight, so my friends' friends are also somehow my friends.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Naturally, we didn't catch up on a regular, but because of social media, I was able to at least know that she makes cakes. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
When I picked up the cake, I realized it was the first time I actually called her on the phone. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
Our brief interaction made me look back at my adolescent life. Back then, life seemed complicated when I was living it. There were too many rules, not enough money to spend, and there was a constant fear of taking examinations in school. I couldn't wait to get older.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
After a bit of catching up with her, I realized that there wasn't much to talk about because the issues that bothered us back then were so trivial that we didn't even need to ask about any of it. We could only be amazed that we were still able to reconnect after so many years.</div>
<div>
<br />
It's one of the wonders that social media does for people - the slightest connection you have with one can lead to a different relationship over time.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>The Dad Life</u></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u><br /></u></b></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA69aLu71ff7mYPUeVksPMA59DesNmynaNYQxD6RcJ26TqaRGtFn_AFb-2MXF7CJIlXjcNsuizei0aP4k2Dy3Uc-SpIxcX5rLI9HGQsHpYADGywYVjGzxFjTgd96s7Kr04lOiqxZHS5zvP/s1600/43592831_312367282677852_608873152499417088_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="895" data-original-width="1600" height="178" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA69aLu71ff7mYPUeVksPMA59DesNmynaNYQxD6RcJ26TqaRGtFn_AFb-2MXF7CJIlXjcNsuizei0aP4k2Dy3Uc-SpIxcX5rLI9HGQsHpYADGywYVjGzxFjTgd96s7Kr04lOiqxZHS5zvP/s320/43592831_312367282677852_608873152499417088_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Drink when it's cheap, eat where it's cheap later.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Moshe and I have been friends by association since college. We were dating our significant others then, and they were in the same class.<br />
<br />
Years later, we're both married to them, we've been housemates, and we're practically family. While we don't usually drink out, there was a promo where we could drink out and not feel too guilty about it since it's not "Crazy Rich Asian" expensive - a norm here when you drink at bars compared to how much you spend in a bar back in the Philippines.<br />
<br />
We live completely different lives. I'm a houseband, while he's the classic father-provider in their family. We don't have much in common, but we do have a passion for basketball and our families, which apparently was enough to last us an entire afternoon of conversations.<br />
<br />
We face different challenges, but the beauty of an actual conversation is that you get to understand the other person better. Sharing challenges to each other isn't about who has it worse or better, but rather an opportunity to be with someone who can offer a fresh perspective or empathize with you.<br />
<br />
Sharing and alcohol won't solve these problems, but having company while drinking means you get to talk about so much more than just the bad stuff.<br />
<br />
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Dads Are Still Bros</span></u></b><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjftKsa2uZNlliUNkmv46qvkVaIspziZAOJNqF0E2tZZ_AdVCgCm0MD8LhZqbBtzy_mhuqgDOL9r3Jur172QpxWJVLmtkUduB1uEadZ31b5TU4hrX9vyzoCO0MCBszvguhVhJh5_Z_AK1B3/s1600/43412348_2199207083663844_284459510829940736_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="901" data-original-width="1600" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjftKsa2uZNlliUNkmv46qvkVaIspziZAOJNqF0E2tZZ_AdVCgCm0MD8LhZqbBtzy_mhuqgDOL9r3Jur172QpxWJVLmtkUduB1uEadZ31b5TU4hrX9vyzoCO0MCBszvguhVhJh5_Z_AK1B3/s320/43412348_2199207083663844_284459510829940736_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mandatory "reporting" pic to send to the wife, a staple in every bro hangout.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
In mid September, Nino visited Singapore alone after something came up that didn't allow Tring and baby Oona to join him.<br />
<br />
Tring is a good friend of mine that I met in my early college days, while I met Nino a couple of years after we graduated when Tring introduced him as her boyfriend. Being the chummy guy that I am, I didn't want him to feel left out in the new group of people he met, so I talked to him a lot that night.<br />
<br />
We eventually ended up being really good friends, to the point where I was hanging out with him more than I would with Tring.<br />
<br />
Like Moshe, he's also working to provide for the family.<br />
<br />
Instead of a beer session though, we spent the whole afternoon in a semi-tour; walked under the rain in Orchard, ate Chicken Curry, walked in IKEA and popped a bottle of whisky while playing NBA2K til midnight.<br />
<br />
In a typical night/day out back then, we'd probably be playing basketball in the afternoon and having drinks later on, or maybe playing NBA2K while drinking, or simply just drinking.<br />
<br />
Things dramatically change when we're older and have adult responsibilities.<br />
<br />
While it was unfortunate that his family couldn't join him, it was a good reminder that underneath all our dadbod fats, we're still the bros we were back then.<br />
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></u></b>
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Bridging the Gap</span></u></b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4IfjntFcF5ySyvxm_NbbIh5wwsFWg0q2Dg-kl20EUf3oVvn6lPt1iH92oObYW191x5V3lT4Tn217MjHtJNveEMwvt5jSR2a9wYUPfi1DinSQa34vge-cYm2_1TAnWW3q5DMo1FkEPpLXc/s1600/IMG-20180813-WA0011.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4IfjntFcF5ySyvxm_NbbIh5wwsFWg0q2Dg-kl20EUf3oVvn6lPt1iH92oObYW191x5V3lT4Tn217MjHtJNveEMwvt5jSR2a9wYUPfi1DinSQa34vge-cYm2_1TAnWW3q5DMo1FkEPpLXc/s320/IMG-20180813-WA0011.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Beers on fancy cups, but there was nothing fancy with the stuff we talked about.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
My dad has 12 other siblings in their family.<br />
<br />
It shouldn't be a surprise that there are more than 40 of us who are cousins in just this side of the family.<br />
<br />
We naturally grouped ourselves through our ages, and it has stuck for the most part.<br />
<br />
When Moses, one of the younger ones, visited Singapore on official business, he spared some time to meet with me to catch up.<br />
<br />
For years, we've had a hunch of his gender identity, but we never actually confronted him about it. Over the past couple of years, he has been more open to the family about it, and is now one of my most fabulous cousins.<br />
<br />
He cooks, he bakes, and he manages his dad's schedule, among other important things in their company.<br />
<br />
10 years ago, I never would have imagined myself sitting across a table from him, sharing a beer and stories I wouldn't have asked him.<br />
<br />
Growing up, there's a certain generation gap even if it's just a difference of four or five years. However, at some point, we all become adults, and would have to deal with the same adult issues. Age really does become just a number.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><u><b>Live In The Now</b></u></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><u><b><br /></b></u></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0j89-XxZtMOlwrmpkK0SVAROvctqxDmEFXw4dC9QXcw2DkM1ZDS4ZvEnrSTtJcITeDSYdj5Eq8D0mImfUPo3tKO-0s74Nb7KvJogjfTUEKhinKHQUtw9jrvM0WdbVb4-0clj7evyVodqc/s1600/20180726_214913.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0j89-XxZtMOlwrmpkK0SVAROvctqxDmEFXw4dC9QXcw2DkM1ZDS4ZvEnrSTtJcITeDSYdj5Eq8D0mImfUPo3tKO-0s74Nb7KvJogjfTUEKhinKHQUtw9jrvM0WdbVb4-0clj7evyVodqc/s320/20180726_214913.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This guy is the shining example of why I can't see alcohol as something to drown out problems, <br />
because it's always fun drinking with him</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
My cousin Richard has been in Singapore for the longest time, and was instrumental in helping my sister stay in the country while she was still finding a job.<br />
<br />
However, since they're living on the other side of the island, we rarely get a chance to meet in my three years of staying here.<br />
<br />
One night after we came back to Singapore after Vino's birthday, I asked to meet Richard some time soon so that I could share some Bicol Express I brought from home. Over the course of our conversation, we ended up deciding to meet later that day.<br />
<br />
Two bottles became three towers of beer, but we barely noticed it because we were so busy catching up with so many things that we ended up staying way past our curfews.<br />
<br />
We talked so much about life, the future, and opportunities, and I learned a lot. And to think that meeting wouldn't have happened if we planned it ahead of time.<br />
<br />
Too many times, "something came up" and other random events keep happening that we miss out on catching up with people we want to meet. As we both learned that night, there was no better time than "now" to make things happen.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>Keeping It Together</u></b></span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9i3pfJKy_AGwnmumdENsavuzsKiizIjuKXT1nSLp0lpeohd1SrNUfB9eTilejblXXcGKEBdrw6E1auXpET3-ZBZ5toPJaITbGuNbiAZcDmEof-b69MBfgBTlxOCQeFGCxMlXAC0w9r0Ej/s1600/43337720_676135906100863_3915736561529913344_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9i3pfJKy_AGwnmumdENsavuzsKiizIjuKXT1nSLp0lpeohd1SrNUfB9eTilejblXXcGKEBdrw6E1auXpET3-ZBZ5toPJaITbGuNbiAZcDmEof-b69MBfgBTlxOCQeFGCxMlXAC0w9r0Ej/s320/43337720_676135906100863_3915736561529913344_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A night out is usually never complete without this litter bugger.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Inspired by the great conversations I had, I took out my wife one Sunday night.<br />
<br />
Without much interactions or anything significant happening in my life at home, I don't have much to share to her on a regular basis. On her side, work has kept her busy that even at home, there may be times that she's still working. At times, instead of sharing her frustrations, she would rather get some rest.<br />
<br />
I never held it against her, because I did grow up with both my parents working. While they weren't as readily available as other parents, it didn't make me love them less, because I knew that they were away so that they could provide food on the table. Similarly, my wife works to provide for the family, so I give her all the space she needs and just stayed ready when she needs me.<br />
<br />
After meaningful moments with friends and family, I thought it was time to do the same with her on a stress-free night.<br />
<br />
With our baby tired for the day, we had him tucked to sleep while we slipped out for a quick dinner for two. It was a random date, but it seemed one we needed to have.<br />
<br />
We're going into year three of our marriage, but it will actually be 14 years of being together. Being comfortable with each other for this long makes it easy to forget how important these dates and conversations are in making our relationship last.<br />
<br />
Never take these simple things for granted, because you'll never know if there are small issues that are piling up. </div>
<div>
</div>
</div>
voltzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296000979681112106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1522850124805727571.post-51554576499053007062018-10-05T01:33:00.000-07:002018-10-05T01:33:59.607-07:00...Housedad Chronicles vol. 1: The Hidden Adult Themes of BabyTV...My baby is a regular of BabyTV, which means I am constantly watching it as well. I can sing along to the morning, afternoon, and night song, and I almost know what shows are going to play by the minute. It's not quite Barney or Teletubbies in terms of hypnotic effect on babies, but the variety of shows and stuff that he sees allow him to recognize them whenever we go out.<br />
<br />
Most of the shows like the Big Bug Band, the Cuddlies, and Tucky Tales, among others don't use words, so he tends to mumble a lot of nothings when he's trying to say something. It's one of the reasons why I want to shift to another kids channel.<br />
<br />
The other reason is that some of the shows that actually use words may have underlying adult themes that my kid is not ready for. Of course, these can be easily refuted because there's a chance that these are completely false and are just a product of my overthinking.<br />
<br />
However, Let me share my theories just in case others can relate, so I can confirm my hunch about BabyTV.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Show: Goodnight Teddy Bear</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><i>What It Should Be: Teddy Got High Again</i></span></b><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/oO94edwQVVs/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/oO94edwQVVs?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<br />
<br />
<b><u>How the Show Goes:</u></b><br />
<br />
Mommy bear tucks Baby Bear in to bed and asks him about his day. Baby Bear then details his adventure for the day, either by himself or with someone else. He goes to unimaginable places and Mommy Bear buys into all his stories. After sharing, he'll be too tired and is tucked to sleep.<br />
<br />
<u><b>What Good This Show Does:</b></u><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I think it promotes sharing on the child's part. Traditionally, a bedtime story is told by the parent until the child falls asleep. In this case, it's the kid who tells the stories until he falls asleep, with his mom a mere spectator to his vivid adventures for the day.</div>
<br />
<b><u>Underlying Adult Theme:</u></b><br />
<br />
Baby Bear is a junkie, using his play dates to satisfy his addiction. Who flies to the moon using their bike? Or visit the Statue of Liberty, the Eiffel Tower and a couple other spots in a day with their grandfather just by walking? His mother isn't helping ease her child's delusion either.<br />
<br />
<b><u>Why We Still Watch It:</u></b><br />
<br />
Vino likes to watch puppets talking to each other. This is the first show that he recognizes and smiles whenever it starts.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Show: The Post Train</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><i>What It Should Be: Post Office Corruption Tales</i></span></b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/F89XYRn-UH0/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/F89XYRn-UH0?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
<br />
<b><u>How the Show Goes:</u></b><br />
<br />
Fast Frank is a post delivery guy. He drops by the post office to ask if there are packages he needs to deliver. Post master says he does, but he lost the address. Frank then embarks on a trip to where he assumes the recipient might be living in, but fails in his first two tries. When he finally meets the recipient, he asks if he could see the item. Before they say their goodbyes, the post master arrives and hands them a supplemental item for the gift.<br />
<br />
<u><b>What Good This Show Does:</b></u><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
When Frank assumes where the recipient lives, he usually goes by clues. Every destination he arrives at gives him another clue as to where the recipient may be. I guess it teaches the viewer the right place where the recipient can be seen. The recipient is an animal. </div>
<br />
<b><u>Underlying Adult Theme:</u></b><br />
<br />
The postmaster is a corrupt official with a fetish of going through the mail that he is in charge of. He says he lost the address and lets the burden of delivery fall to Frank. However, after every episode, he arrives with something that matches the original deliver. How could he possibly know what's inside the package, when Frank, who takes it with him to two other places, had to ask the owner if he could see what's inside? Also, if he lost the address, how did he know where to find Frank? If he knew beforehand, why didn't he help the guy out instead of wasting his time going to other places?<br />
<br />
<b><u>Why We Still Watch It:</u></b><br />
<b><u><br /></u></b>
It has a catchy theme song. "Fast Frank is here don't you worry!"<br />
<br />
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Show: Momento the Great Chef </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><i>What It Should Be: Momento's Unrequited Love</i></span></b><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/82Bx67tWpqA/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/82Bx67tWpqA?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
<b><u><br /></u></b>
<b><u><br /></u></b>
<b><u>How the Show Goes:</u></b><br />
<br />
Momento cooks in his kitchen with his buddies - three talking pickles. Someone calls him out, and he's excited because he recognizes it as Perfecto. Perfecto then greets him, and tells him he has a gift for him, which gets Momento all excited. Perfecto reveals it as something that he got from his garden, and asks Momento to cook it for him. Momento goes back to the kitchen and figures out a way to Masterchef his way into using the Perfecto's "gift" as a main ingredient of his dish. He goes out with a sigh, and serves the food to Perfecto, who always loves the food.<br />
<br />
<u><b>What Good This Show Does:</b></u><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
There's a tutorial of how to actually do the dish. It's usually simple enough like cheese-filled baby peppers, an olive pizza dough, or even pineapple juice.<br />
<br /></div>
<b><u>Underlying Adult Theme:</u></b><br />
<br />
Momento the chef couldn't express his love for his favorite customer and friend. It shows in his faint disappointment when he learns that the gift isn't actually a gift for him, and it shows how flustered he is trying to impress Perfecto. Even before he presents his dish, there's a deep sigh he lets out that's probably just to show that he's finally done, or maybe it's because he's thinking it's best not to complicate their relationship with whatever he may be feeling.<br />
<br />
<u><b>Why We Still Watch It:</b></u><br />
<br />
The simple recipes could be a starting point for Vino's future cooking interests. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
voltzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296000979681112106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1522850124805727571.post-71443578868820138282018-04-09T01:10:00.000-07:002018-04-09T01:10:01.296-07:00...Conversations: On Happiness, Faith, and a Lazy Society...When I became a houseband, I thought I'd have plenty of time writing random blogs such as these, because I was able to make a lot back then. However, all the mobile gaming, the baby playing, and the writing assignments got in the way. Besides, Facebook offers long posts now so I get to semi-blog there.<br />
<br />
Life becomes uneventful at home in a different country; not much interaction with strangers or new clients as before, and not much deep talks with friends over alcohol. That doesn't give me a lot to work on in terms of content.<br />
<br />
There are a some conversations I had recently that I thought could be bundled together as a blog.<br />
<br />
<b><u>A Conversation on Happiness</u></b><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJlwYpWuH6bgXnTBZFGW3OfGQV_O3JaqgT4QfeHkit1Lnm3sNrNx8IU1TsWswW6-2oWsQqS0lemrqhmQRoMu70eQQaxrgOYhCdqnEygnSLcPJkguiWHpQKI8WYVDWbuPWCupV1qRuwynea/s1600/happy.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="902" data-original-width="1131" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJlwYpWuH6bgXnTBZFGW3OfGQV_O3JaqgT4QfeHkit1Lnm3sNrNx8IU1TsWswW6-2oWsQqS0lemrqhmQRoMu70eQQaxrgOYhCdqnEygnSLcPJkguiWHpQKI8WYVDWbuPWCupV1qRuwynea/s400/happy.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not a life-changing movie, but at least a conversation starter.<br />(Source: Netflix App) </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
The wife and I watched "Happy Anniversary" on Netflix and it sparked an interesting late-night conversation.<br />
<br />
For context, the movie is about a couple who have been together for three years and are celebrating their anniversary a day after going out with a couple friend who can't seem to get enough of each other. On their anniversary, the girl just blurts out "I'm not happy," as the movie follows them around for the day, reflecting on what changed that led them to where they are in the relationship.<br />
<br />
It got the wife thinking if we are happy, and that we're not falling into the same hole that the couple in the movie had.<br />
<br />
Personally, I think things could be better.<br />
<br />
The social norm is that a man provides for the family, and the wife keeps the house in order. Women fought for gender equality and are now also significant individuals in the corporate world. Despite these however, people frown upon the notion of a woman providing for her and her man. It's a sentiment that a friend shared with me; as a major in humanities, he thought his fellow students of social sciences would be more accepting of the fact that it was his wife working while he stayed at home, but he was wrong. They had the same judgmental looks and questions as others have.<br />
<br />
If I were to base my happiness on social norms, then I shouldn't be happy. However, I've thought of how I would be happy way before I had this life as a houseband, and frankly, I don't care what society thinks of me.<br />
<br />
My wife is afraid that she doesn't have time for me or our baby because she's busy with work. I assured her that she's never too busy to not have time for us, and me being home should give our kid the parental presence we both want him to have.<br />
<br />
I was raised by parents who worked full-time, while my wife was raised by parents who managed a business. While we grew up fine and understood early on that our parents were away most of the time precisely to provide the life that we were living, we both wanted to have a bigger presence in our children's lives when we became parents ourselves.<br />
<br />
In a perfect world, I would have a corporate job that pays well enough to support our family, while my wife gets to take care of our child without taking work home with her. But life's not perfect. I don't have a job, and my wife usually needs to work overtime to finish her job.<br />
<br />
I told her that it makes our union work. She fulfills her professional goals, while I fulfill our personal goals. We can't have everything. Even the "perfect" couple in the movie was later revealed as too absorbed with showing off how "perfect" their relationship was instead of living an actual life.<br />
<br />
If I had a corporate job, our baby would grow up like we did; it's not bad, but it's not the way we wanted to be as parents. We need to live with the sacrifices, but ultimately, we concluded that we're happy - it's not the same happiness as the world dictates, which made her question it a bit, but we ended that conversation knowing that we were happy in our own way.<br />
<br />
<u><b><span style="font-size: large;">Forcing Faith vs Spreading Faith</span></b></u><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img height="296" src="https://i.pinimg.com/originals/fc/85/39/fc8539e853281b5805e0c2355ae18c80.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="640" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Truth, in different perspectives.<br />(Image Source: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/fc/85/39/fc8539e853281b5805e0c2355ae18c80.jpg)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I've been blessed to have my faith grounded on the environment of Don Bosco Mandaluyong before it was questioned by the various philosophies we studied in UST.<br />
<br />
It made me stubborn in the eyes of most elders, and is probably why "pilosopo" is a negative term in the local language while it is an honor to be called a "philosopher." Anyway, no one alive today could say that they personally knew Christ, Mohammed, or Buddha to know for certain which religion speaks the truth about life after death. We all base our knowledge of faith in books handed to us, based on the accounts of people who came before us.<br />
<br />
Faith, I think, is very subjective. It's why Catholics go for the Sacrament of Confirmation because at birth, they are born into a religion. However, once they are able to think for themselves, they have the opportunity to choose if they will "confirm" what has been taught to them.<br />
<br />
I believe that I can share my faith in God with people, but I don't believe I need to push my beliefs on anyone.<br />
<br />
My dad and I had a lengthy argument about going to Church while I was in college. In a nutshell, I didn't believe that I should be going to Church because he said so, and I also think that we had the same reasons for going. As a result, I made a conscious effort to not attend mass with him which frustrated the heck out of both my parents. I prayed, and I went to church with my then-girlfriend (now wife), but I never announced it, didn't show it. I just did.<br />
<br />
There are a lot of religions existing, and while some don't agree with your beliefs, it doesn't make them wrong. After all, you can't see all sides of a house from one vantage point; you can't assume a house is blue because you see one side is blue, the other side might be red for all you know.<br />
<br />
Given this, we should respect a person's beliefs and not force what we think is right for them.<br />
<br />
My parents shared this story of my uncle getting sour about Padre Pio's oil not healing my aunt that he loved so much. They feel like he's ungrateful for all the help Padre Pio has done for them, especially after some stories my dad shared about praying for my aunt and sharing her pain in order for her to be relieved by some of it.<br />
<br />
Personally, I think it's a clash of beliefs broken down by a man's pain. We all wanted to help my aunt, and the best we could do was pray for her. At the time, there are moments of relief, and they shared it with my parents. However, we don't live with her everyday to see what she's going through on a daily basis. My uncle went all out in helping her; modern medicine, prayer, heck I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to talk to spirits in his effort to ease her pain.<br />
<br />
Despite all our efforts (my uncle's, most especially), she succumbed to her war against sickness that she so valiantly fought for years. No amount of prayer could give us the miracle we craved, nor was there technology to save her completely.<br />
<br />
My parents believe that it's partly because my uncle never really shared the same faith that they had when he prayed to Padre Pio. My uncle believes that that faith is useless because it didn't save his dear wife. I think it was just her time, and she was living in borrowed time for quite a while because of her will and determination to live, fueled by her family's love and everyone's prayers. It hurts, but it was inevitable. They wanted to blame something, anything, for their loss, when no one really is to blame.<br />
<br />
My point in telling the story is that forcing faith isn't spreading it. Faith is internal. You can't tell a person to have the same faith in the things you believe in and expect them to just follow you like sheep. When we get to a turning point in our lives, we don't all take the same path.<br />
<br />
This realization dawned on me after a conversation with someone about personal struggle. We came to the conclusion that while external help is appreciated, "personal" aspects like practicing faith shouldn't be forced on the one in need. There's walking a thin line on guidance and completely ignoring that line.<br />
<br />
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">A Lazy Society</span></u></b><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="1) Giant cups" src="https://i.imgur.com/ZuuBjaM.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">People on screens all the time and riding personal mobility devices - we're on our way to the future Wall-E has shown.<br />(Photo Source: https://imgur.com/gallery/jT43R)</td></tr>
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<br />
This is more of a conversation with myself.<br />
<br />
I write long posts, and this one is no different. It's a personal writing style that I've adapted even when writing for publications. On print, I understood the concern for the word count, but online, where there are no pages to count, I found it difficult to understand.<br />
<br />
Of course, I am no sheep that only does what he's told. I asked until I understood.<br />
<br />People don't read through something that's too long. They always want easy to consume articles that gets direct to the point in order for them to move along to the next thing they're supposed to do or read. With information at the tip of our fingertips now, everything is so fast-paced that last hour's news is already old news.<br />
<br />
Scrolling three times to finish an article is already a chore for most people that they don't bother to finish the whole article if it goes on that long. I don't think a lot of people will get to this part of my blog precisely because of that.<br />
<br />
However, I think this is why fake news and online scams are so prolific at this day and age.<br />
<br />We're all about speed and breaking news that most people ignore how the news came about or the source of the news. Most people read the headline and assume that's all there is to a story. Some people don't bother to check out who sent them an email, assumes it's official, and submits their personal information to scammers who take advantage of their carelessness.<br />
<br />
Society has become lazy because of how easy life is. The internet can give you so much that it almost eliminates the need to talk to people in person. After all, whatever you could talk about is probably on the internet anyway. Heck, even musicians aren't original because somehow their songs resemble some unknown artist's beats.<br />
<br />
I like writing long articles because I want to paint a clear picture in my readers' minds but also provide them with the proper establishing facts that led me to that picture. However, this lazy society doesn't care about facts and instead wants to offer their own closed opinions on the matter. Instead of igniting an intelligent debate, I only get to interact with trolls whose only concern is to make a comment, even if it's just "FIRST!" or a bunch of other nonsense.<br />
<br />
I still like to write and cater to an audience, but it's getting increasingly frustrating to come up with articles that are click-friendly instead of something that tickles one's thoughts.<br />
<br />I think I too have become part of this lazy society, as I'd rather post a thought immediately in order to spark a conversation with people who read it instead of waiting to make a blog out of it.<br />
<br />
Hopefully, doing this blog lets me change that.<br />
<br />
<br />voltzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296000979681112106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1522850124805727571.post-89945945799679314672017-11-30T00:15:00.003-08:002017-11-30T00:15:40.156-08:00...Ander De Saya...<b><span style="font-size: large;">Ander De Saya</span></b><br />
<i>n., literally translates to "under the skirt (saya is a traditional Filipino skirt)"</i><br />
<br />
We live in a patriarchal world. If we didn't, then women wouldn't have fought for equal rights for so long.<br />
<br />
Despite all the talk of gender equality, the elevation of the male gender has been so deeply instilled in our minds and culture that some people cannot hide their honesty.<br />
<br />
Women still can't drive. Men still wouldn't want to ask for directions. Women are not women unless they know how to do house chores. Men are expected to be the breadwinners of the family.<br />
<br />
As a jobless husband of an empowered woman, I've been subject to ridicule by people close to me, and even those who are not. Some people say it. Some people imply it. I don't assume. I know.<br />
<br />
And yet, it doesn't break me down.<br />
<br />
It's not that I am accepting reality of being an "ander de saya" but rather because of the strong relationship I built with my wife. Yes, that empowered woman I am married to.<br />
<br />
She wasn't my dream girl, but something drew me to her; from the day that I met her, I felt that I could grow old with her. It hasn't been perfect, but such is life. We'll have different perspectives on some instances, but we eventually figure out what's best for us.<br />
<br />
After 13 years of being together, that energy that drew me to her has not waned.<br />
<br />
I still want to grow old with her.<br />
<br />
Every decision that I have made with our relationship has been grounded on that.<br />
<br />
I was constantly by her side even if she had zero interest in me when we first met, because I knew that I'll have a lasting relationship with her. We broke up and I met another woman, thinking she won't find what she was looking for if she knew I'd still be there for her. We got back together after wounds have healed. I asked her to fight for us when she wanted to break up again because I knew that if she gave up then, it would be the last of us. I didn't ask her to marry me when she asked me because I knew she would eventually feel incomplete if we did right then. I supported her decision to work overseas because I knew it would help her grow. I asked her to marry me when I knew that she was ready because I knew that was. I left my life in the Philippines because we were going to start a new one of our own.<br />
<br />
When we had our baby boy, we had to move to a place of our own in Singapore. After moving in to our new place and getting settled in, we sat down on the couch with our baby boy sleeping on our side. We had a realization that that was going to be life; just the two of us, sitting together on a couch.<br />
<br />
And that is why I think I made the right decision when I pursued her as soon as I met her.<br />
<br />
This is a woman I want to grow old with. This is a woman who I could talk to about random things nobody else would care about. This is a woman who will walk hand in hand with me on the same path in life that I will tread. This is a woman who makes me proud to wear a houseband badge without a care in the world about what other people think.<br />
<br />
People, close or not, have given their suggestions and opinions on how a man like me should act in our relationship; some with pity, some with disappointment.<br />
<br />
However, at the end of the day, without the eyes and opinions of everyone else, what matters is what our relationship is together; how we interact when we're sitting alone on a couch.<br />
<br />
I still firmly believe that we are not given challenges in life that we cannot overcome. I think that everything will fall into place in God's perfect time.<br />
<br />
While I am a bit frustrated not being able to help my wife financially right now, we both think that this is probably for the best, because our baby boy is still too young to be left alone.<br />
<br />
And for that, I'll cook and do house chores, because this is what we need at this time. <br />
<br />
I don't feel less of a man doing what I'm doing, because women have fought for my wife to be in a position where she is in today, both in our family and in the corporate world.<br />
<br />
While some find humor in this term and maybe even claim that those who are "ander" have no balls to be the head of the family, I daresay I have bigger balls being an "ander de saya" than those who use their balls to leave their families behind.<br />
<br />
I am a proud "ander de saya" because of my family.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoK_wgDe03illxP3cqEvIOWrg0yxLKQNefPAODjvN4tjzQPI-N_ici8fqjgZ9e1anNTsbnsGSgf5GEpMF1rpMEj0qKtxor1BUXM-gZk79VnVUnfw4UUtOJ2bZ9zt2otRqTfW2otnBdBf5Q/s1600/20171129_214318.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1031" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoK_wgDe03illxP3cqEvIOWrg0yxLKQNefPAODjvN4tjzQPI-N_ici8fqjgZ9e1anNTsbnsGSgf5GEpMF1rpMEj0qKtxor1BUXM-gZk79VnVUnfw4UUtOJ2bZ9zt2otRqTfW2otnBdBf5Q/s400/20171129_214318.jpg" width="257" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Celebrating 13 years with this woman. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />voltzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296000979681112106noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1522850124805727571.post-62685417377266648722017-06-19T20:36:00.001-07:002017-06-19T20:36:18.351-07:00...The Customers That Grind My Gear...Having worked in the food industry for almost a year, I realized one thing; the customer is never right. As customers, we have this complex that we should be treated right because we are paying in exchange for goods and services. However, it shouldn't give you the right to treat the person rendering the service as your slave. You may be on different sides of the cash register, but both of you are making a living. And no, acting as your personal slave isn't what that person is supposed to do. If that's how you are treated at work, then you should probably make a blog of your own about how you should be treated.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpEgv9uskQATA_8Y3ui-YGkMxuWOmIRlLSWf8bVw0RRWSs5cHwoEgU8jFf3S07tN2fNNNna56SH4lWsRU1m-bwQyOBXIUaJ4LsYENPuSl1qX6QE76ri9k-v8SNXcciKd1x_hHVS9En8L9W/s1600/tumblr_inline_mx7b7yPDaE1qb0ogp.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="500" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpEgv9uskQATA_8Y3ui-YGkMxuWOmIRlLSWf8bVw0RRWSs5cHwoEgU8jFf3S07tN2fNNNna56SH4lWsRU1m-bwQyOBXIUaJ4LsYENPuSl1qX6QE76ri9k-v8SNXcciKd1x_hHVS9En8L9W/s400/tumblr_inline_mx7b7yPDaE1qb0ogp.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Alas, this is my blog, and the purpose of which is to help you not act like jerks or idiots the next time you're in a restaurant.<br />
<br />
I made a list of the various types of customers I have a beef with:<br />
<br />
<div>
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">The Entitled</span></u></b></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>Who They Are:</b><br />
These are those who would claim to come all the way from the other side of town who may have possibly gotten lost and maybe even paid more for the cab fare. Because of all these, they would like to get something more, or maybe even a discount in order to make up for what they spent on the cab.<br />
<br />
<b>Sample Conversation:</b><br />
Customer: I'll have Meal A please.<br />
Me: That will be x.xx dollars, thank you.<br />
Customer: Can't I get a discount? I went all the way here to taste your food.<br />
Me: Thank you, but I'm sorry, I can't offer a discount.<br />
Customer: But I had to take a cab and I had to take a leave from work just so I could try your food.<br />
Cab Driver: Why the hell are you dragging me into this?<br />
<br />
<b>Don't Be Like Them Because:</b></div>
<div>
Nobody asked you to put in the effort that you did. The payoff should be the food being good. It's not the restaurant's responsibility to make you feel better because of what you've been through in order to find the place. Don't get me wrong, it's heart-warming for the restaurant owners to know that people actually try to find their places that aren't easy to find, but come on. It's not like they begged you to take a cab or whatnot. Chances are, you made the effort to find it because you learned that the food is great. That means, they will survive with or without you.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<br />
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">The VIP</span></u></b><br />
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></u></b>
<b>Who They Are:</b><br />
There are people who actually buy food, but later ask for something more. They don't pay more than the regular customer, but they expect something more in terms of service and food. To these people, I say; who died and made you so special?<br />
<br />
<b>Sample Conversation:</b><br />
<br />
Customer: Can I get value meal A?<br />
Me: That will be $x.xx.<br />
Customer: Can you give me more meat and more rice with that?<br />
Me, deep inside: Why?<br />
<br />
<b>Don't Be Like Them Because:</b><br />
Your money has the same value as the person before or after you. Unless you are a stockholder of the business, saved the world from extinction, or are responsible for achieving world peace, don't think for a second that you should be treated more than the average customer. If you owned a restaurant and had someone like you as a customer, do you think your business would benefit in fulfilling The VIP's every request?<br />
<br />
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">The Menu Maker</span></u></b><br />
<br />
<b>Who They Are:</b><br />
Customers who read the menu, but when they go to the counter, they ask for a combination of something that isn't on the menu. As a customer, I understand the need to get value for money, but standing on the other side, I can see how servers are limited by the machines in front of them, and the kitchen to the resources that they have.<br />
<br />
<b>Sample Conversation:</b><br />
Customer: Can I get the Meal A, with Meal B on the side for the price of the ala carte meat?<br />
Me: No, sorry.<br />
Customer: Why?<br />
In my head: If I tell you, I'd have to kill you.<br />
<br />
<b>Don't Be Like Them Because:</b><br />
The restaurant is not your kitchen. If you want things done your way, no one will question you in your own kitchen. However, in a restaurant with a set menu, you just point to what you like and deal with how it is served to you. Not every restaurant has a secret menu, unlike what the internet would want you to believe.<br />
<br />
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">The Genius</span></u></b><br />
<br />
<b>Who They Are:</b><br />
Much like the Menu Makers, these are customers who think they have a brilliant idea about your menu that they seem to believe you have not thought of yet. While the Menu Makers read off their "brilliant" combinations from the menu, The Geniuses tell you what's missing from your menu.<br />
<br />
<b>Sample Conversation:</b><br />
Customer: Do you have Sinigang?<br />
What I actually say: No sir/ma'am.<br />
What I really want to say: You do have eyes to read that it's not on the menu, right?<br />
Customer: You know, you should. Because it's sinigang. People love sinigang.<br />
Me: We have a roasting pit. It's a bit difficult to roast sinigang. But sure, we'll keep that in mind. Thank you! (Yes, I am an asshole.)<br />
<br />
<b>Don't Be Like Them Because:</b><br />
When a restaurant is put up, the owners have painstakingly thought of what kind of food they want to serve. It may be driven by their passion, their beliefs, their family, or whatnot. As such, their menu is a reflection of all these. When you go to a Japanese restaurant, you can hope for sushi, but don't expect every Japanese restaurant has it. I think it borders on racism, reducing a cuisine to one or two dishes.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">The Businessman</span></u></b><br />
<br />
<b>Who They Are:</b><br />
They are the combination of the VIP and The Genius. They are customers who know better than the server or the owner. They will insist on what should be on the restaurant's menu or what the price should be. They don't want instant gratification the way VIPs want, but their egos want to believe that you will adjust your business according to their preference.<br />
<br />
<b>Sample Conversation:</b><br />
Customer: I want the meal A please.<br />
Me: That will be x.xx dollars please.<br />
Customer: You know, this should only be y.yy dollars. It's too expensive!<br />
The Sarcastic Side of my Brain: Wow you are absolutely right! We are robbing people! We should oust our boss and put you in charge instead!<br />
Me: Sorry sir, I just punch your order, I don't make the prices.<br />
Customer: Yes, I know. But you should tell your boss that. And you should also have sinigang on your menu!<br />
<br />
<b>Don't Be Like Them Because:</b><br />
<div>
There are several factors running a business, and even if you know a thing or two about it, you probably don't know all the variables the particular business is working with. Because if you did, why are you ordering food and not putting up your own business in the same area? Permits, work force, supply cost and rent are just a few factors that need to be considered by the business owner in deciding what food they will serve and how much it should be sold. The menu is a product of months or probably years of tedious feasibility studies, savings, and passion, and you insisting your needs or wants on the menu is an insult to everything that they have worked for.<br />
<br /></div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">The Always-On-The-Go</span></b><br />
<br />
<b>Who They Are:</b><br />
People who can't wait to get their turn, and either cuts the line or keep asking questions even if the server is entertaining another customer. Time moves the same way for everyone, but these people seem to believe that their time is more important than other people's.<br />
<br />
<b>Sample Conversation: </b><br />
Customer: I'd like to order...<br />
The AOTG: Hi, do you have Meal A?<br />
Me: (to AOTG) Yes. (To cutomer) Sorry about that, can I get your order?<br />
The AOTG: Hi, hi, so can I also get that to go?<br />
Me: (To AOTG) Sorry, let me just finish their order.<br />
The AOTG: Ok, ok.<br />
*AOTG's turn*<br />
The AOTG: Hi, so I'd like to have Meal A to go please.<br />
Me: Alright. That will be x.xx dollars. Here's your number, and I'll buzz you once it's ready.<br />
The AOTG: Here you go. How long do I have to wait?<br />
Me: There's a queue, so I can't say for certain.<br />
The AOTG: Yeah, but how long?<br />
Me: ...<br />
Buzzer: ....<br />
Meal A: ....<br />
*When Meal is ready*<br />
The AOTG: Can I also get a drink with that?<br />
Me: Sure, that will be SGD2.00.<br />
The AOTG: *<i>hands over SGD100</i>* Where's the ice?<br />
Me: Let me get your drink first.<br />
The AOTG: Do you have straws?<br />
My hands, probably: There's only two of us, you know.<br />
<br />
<b>Don't Be Like Them Because:</b><br />
People care about their time as well. What you need is a vending machine with no queues, not a restaurant open to the public. Also, understand that your server doesn't have eight hands to attend to your every need as soon as you say it.<br />
<br />
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">The Insta-Fresh</span></u></b><br />
<br />
<b>Who They Are:</b><br />
Customers who order from a fast food, want their food ready as soon as they finish talking, but require it to be "freshly" cooked. Very similar to The Always-On-The-Go people, but more whiny because they complain about the "freshness" of their food.<br />
<br />
<b>Sample Conversation:</b><br />
Customer, at 3PM: I'd like lechon with rice.<br />
Me: That will be x.xx dollars. Thank you!<br />
Customer: *doesn't leave the counter* Is it ready yet?<br />
Me: It should be fast, they will just chop it for you.<br />
*Food comes out under 2 minutes*<br />
Customer: Is it freshly cooked?<br />
Me: No, it was cooked for the lunch crowd at 12 noon.<br />
Customer: But I want mine freshly cooked. Can't you cook one for me?<br />
The devil inside me: Then you came to the wrong place.<br />
Me: Sorry, but the next batch of freshly cooked ones will be at 6pm.<br />
<br />
<b>Don't Be Like Them Because:</b><br />
Food needs to be cooked. Cooking food takes time. How the hell are you expecting freshly cooked food in two minutes? You can't go to a fast food chain and ask for "freshly cooked" food and expect it to actually be cooked in two minutes. It's called "fast" food, but they don't make miracles happen. On that note, understand the type of food you want to eat. Burgers and sandwiches could be freshly prepared and cooked for you easily. If you want to eat meat from a whole roast pig, understand that it won't be cooked at your convenience.<br />
<br />
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">The Thinker</span></u></b><br />
<br />
<b>Who They Are:</b><br />
People who take forever going through the whole menu, then either call the server or stand in front of the queue and still take another lifetime to place their order. These are the mortal enemies of the Instant Fresh Food and the Always-On-The-Go.<br />
<br />
<b>Sample Conversation:</b><br />
*After 5 minutes staring at a menu consisting of literally 4 types of meat*<br />
Customer: Hi. *<i>Intensely looking at the menu</i>* Uhm... can I get... wait.<br />
My eyes: Sure, take your time. I'm sure the six people behind you aren't hungry.<br />
Customer: Ok, can I get the Meal A? Wait. Wait. Uhm.. Does the sampler have rice?<br />
Me: No.<br />
Customer: I see. How much is rice?<br />
Me: It's x.xx dollars.<br />
Customer: Ah ok. How about meal B?<br />Me: It comes with rice.<br />
Customer: Alright. I think I'll have Meal A.<br />
<br />
<b>Don't Be Like Them Because:</b><br />
The world doesn't stop for you. Fast food menus are posted so that one can decide before they order. Sure you can chat up the servers if it doesn't look busy, but during rush hours, you need to know that there are a lot of hungry people waiting in line.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><u>The Cheapskate</u></span></b><br />
<br />
<b>Who They Are:</b><br />
People who will buy food, but will keep on complaining about how expensive the food is. Some also ask for the "best" thing on the menu, but won't order it because it's "too expensive" for them.<br />
<br />
<b>Sample Conversation: </b><br />
Customer: What's your best seller?<br />
Me: Try our Meal A, it's our specialty.<br />
Customer: Oh, I see. What's that? *<i>Pointing to the cheapest thing on the menu</i>*<br />
What he really wants to say: Yikes. I did not expect that.<br />
Me: That would be the Meal B.<br />
Customer: Can I get that instead?<br />
What he really wants to say: Lifesaver!<br />
<br />
<b>Don't Be Like Them Because:</b><br />
<div>
If you want to eat good food, you have to put out. Don't ask for "the best" if you only have money for an appetizer. Going back to the point about The Businessman, the food offered is priced that way because of several factors you are not privy to. If a business is thriving despite what you think is expensive, then you're probably cheap. If it closes in a few months, then you're probably right in saying it's too expensive. </div>
<br />
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">The Non-Reader</span></u></b><br />
<br />
<b>Who They Are:</b><br />
People who read the menu with the prices and details, but still ask what your shop has to offer and how much. Also relates to people who insist on having a "dinner" menu in the afternoons and "lunch" sets during the evenings. These people are different from those who actually have visual impairments. They have perfectly working eyes, but they choose not to use them. <br />
<br />
<b>Sample Conversation:</b><br />
Customer: What do you have?<br />
Me: *<i>Directs customer's eyes to the menu</i>* We have Meal A, Meal B, Meal C, and Meal D.<br />
Customer: *<i>Looks at menu with the details</i>* What's Meal A?<br />
Me: *Redirects customer to the menu* Meal A is a roasted pork belly roll.<br />
What I didn't say: ...as stated in the menu.<br />
Customer: *<i>Reads details on the menu</i>* I see. And how much is that?<br />
Anger, in my brain: Serious-fucking-ly?<br />
Me: That will be xx.xx dollars.<br />
Customer: What about Meal B?<br />
*<i>Goes on until we go through the whole menu</i>*<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Don't Be Like Them Because:</b><br />
Blind people would give anything for just a day to see again, and yet you who have perfectly working eyes refuse to use it. I'm not writing this so that the server will have less to do. I am pointing this out because there is a chance that you will be responsible for creating a queue of hungry people.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<u><b><span style="font-size: large;">The Explainee</span></b></u><br />
<br />
<b>Who They Are:</b><br />
Those who need the obvious stated to them. No matter how straightforward a shop's menu is, The Explainee is bound to ask something they already know the answer to.<br />
<br />
<b>Sample Conversation:</b><br />
Customer: What's Meal B?<br />
Me: It's roast pork belly.<br />
Customer: Is it fat?<br />
Me: We've had trouble sourcing pigs that work out, so yes.<br />
Customer: How about Meal C?<br />
Me: It's spicy pork belly.<br />
Customer: Is it spicy?<br />
My common sense to me: Are you really going to glorify that with an answer?<br />
<br />
<b>Don't Be Like Them Because:</b><br />
We have a finite time in this world, why waste it with such unnecessary questions? The circumstances won't change just because you asked the question; pork belly will still be fat, spicy will still be spicy, and lunch sets still won't be available at night. <br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">The Whisperer</span></u></b><br />
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></u></b>
<b>Who They Are:</b><br />
Similar to The Non-Reader, these are people who have voices, but don't use them. They order with the slightest effort for their vocal cords, as if they're ashamed of what they're ordering.<br />
<br />
<b>Sample Conversation:</b><br />
<br />
*Kidding! You can't write a script for something you can't hear*<br />
<br />
<b>Don't Be Like Them Because:</b><br />
Talking to someone requires you to actually speak. You may be too hungry to speak, but you won't be fed if you can't say what you want to eat.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">The Hungry Hopeful</span></u></b><br />
<br />
<b>Who They Are:</b><br />
These are not limited to customers in teenage years. These are customers who talk to servers as if they're teenagers talking to their nagging wives. They will look like they are listening, but they're really not.<br />
<br />
<b>Sample Conversation:</b><br />
Me: So, right now I only have Meal A and Meal C available. All the rest are sold out already.<br />
Customer: Ok. Do you have Meal B?<br />
Me: No sir, I only have Meal A and Meal C available.<br />
Customer: Ah, ok, ok. How about Meal D?<br />
Me: It's sold out already sir. I only have Meal A and Meal C available.<br />
Customer: Oh, sorry. Do you have sinigang?<br />
<br />
<b>Don't Be Like Them Because: </b><br />
Asking questions and not even bothering to hear the answers will not help your hungry belly, especially when it's near closing time. </div>
voltzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296000979681112106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1522850124805727571.post-948349260941510432017-05-09T22:13:00.001-07:002017-05-09T22:46:39.045-07:00...Success and Happiness...A few years back, I found a Facebook message from a stranger. I didn't receive any notifications when I got it. I actually got to read it more than a year later, when I dug through my filtered messages; something I, nor any other person I know, do not do on a regular basis. It was apparently from a junior in college who I absolutely have no idea of but knew me. It wasn't surprising to have someone from college know me; I shoved my face in UST's Faculty of Arts and Letters since the end of my first year of college. What was surprising was the hate I got for being me.<br />
<br />
His message went something like "so you ended up as a sales executive? What a joke! You acted like you'd be someone big back in college, but that's what you end up as?"<br />
<br />
For the record, I didn't piss much people off in college. I may be tactless, but I know when to be. Besides, I had to have an extra layer of nice in me back in college because of politics. When I'm with friends, I can freely act like an ass. Given this, and knowing this kid was a stranger from college, it was a huge surprise he had these strong feelings.<br />
<br />
His message was laden with profanity and it was so old I couldn't even pull it up from my archives. I decided not to dignify it with a reply, and I really just buried it from my memory, knowing it would be an insignificant part of my life. However, today, I decided to write about it. Not because it scarred me all these years, but rather because I wanted to focus on his perception.<br />
<br />
Today, I turn 31 years old. I work part-time as a cashier at a Filipino restaurant here in Singapore. Prior to that, I was unemployed for 8 months, after leaving what seemed to be a "useless" sales job (for my stranger, at least) back in the Philippines. On paper, my career seems like it has gone to shit. I am almost inclined to believe that it has, considering I haven't had many interview requests despite my constant applications. Having a Philosophy degree isn't exactly an express pass to the corporate world, especially in a first world country that relies heavily on their filters to meet candidates they think fit their needs.<br />
<br />
I should feel like a failure, like that stranger wanted so bad for me to feel. Yet, here I am, happy. Sure, I could be happier, but I'm happy enough to not feel like a failure.<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Success is Subjective</span></u></b><br />
<b><u><br /></u></b>
Success is a word I've found difficult to define. When I describe it, I can only name a handful of people, but somehow, others may find something lacking in their lives.<br />
<br />
Success, as defined by dictionary.com reads:<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>noun</i><br />
<i>1. the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of one's goals.</i><br />
<i>2. the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.</i><br />
<br />
The first definition is subjective. In the second, the aforementioned handful may have attained, and I clearly have not. And yet, some people act like my stranger and shit on their accomplishments.<br />
<br />
I think, then, that success is subjective. There is no way to absolutely achieve it because it will always be subjected to another's personal goals; apparently for both you and them. You may be the best athlete on the planet on the best team in all of sports, but for a scientist who devoted his or her life to finding the cure for cancer, you have wasted your life.<br />
<br />
Conventional wisdom equates success to having money. However, to earn money, one needs to have an above average occupation. Having the said occupation requires one to spend time working, depriving that person of time to travel (something those working their asses off want to achieve) or to spend time with their families (with family being a reason these same people are working their asses off in the first place).<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>A Failure for Anyone Else</u></b></span><br />
<br />
I understand, then and even now, that I couldn't possibly measure up to the expectations of my stranger. He clearly had no idea how much I was earning in my "useless" sales job, nor did he have any idea what I wanted to do with my life.<br />
<br />
Back in college, I tried to convince my fellow students that I was the best man to serve them. I didn't realize that it set a bar for at least one of them that I wouldn't achieve. It even went to the extent of him letting me know about it years later.<br />
<br />
However, even back then, I have come to the realization that no matter how successful I think I have become, I will be a failure for anyone else. My goals will always be different from everyone else's. Even if I had a "better" life than what I have now, there will still be those who think that I should be better than what I ended up being.<br />
<br />
Well, looking at where I am right now, I didn't give these people a high standard.<br />
<u><b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></u>
<u><b><span style="font-size: large;">Happiness</span></b></u><br />
<br />
Looking back, I never had a particular dream that I built my whole life to be. I didn't grow up wanting to be something. Career-wise, I wanted to end up what I thought I needed to end up as. As a kid it was to be an engineer because my dad was one; before high school, I thought I needed to be a programmer because people were taking notice of computers and I thought I was pretty good at it; before college, I thought the country needed a change so I wanted to work my way up to presidency.<br />
<br />
While I am way too far off from being any of those, I was brought up in such a way that led me to aim for personal goals.<br />
<br />
I wanted a relationship where I could tell my kids how awkward their mom was when we first met. I wanted to be a dad. I wanted to be a significant part of my kid's life as he or she grew up. I wanted to grow old with someone who I'd be happy to be with even after our kids left us.<br />
<br />
At 31, I am happily married to a girl I got together with more than 12 years ago. From listening to her petty school problems and irrational fears, I have enjoyed being her outlet for work frustrations and random pet peeves. And in a couple of months' time, I am going to be a father. That's three ticks on my personal goals.<br />
<br />
People can have their opinion on how I failed in life, but no one can dictate how happy I am with it right now. While some people spend their lives working towards an idea of success planted in them by others, I think I have reached a certain degree of it based on how I define it.<br />
<br />
I know that there will be more challenges as the years go by, and that this is by no means near the finish line. But hey, I just turned 31.<br />
<br />
And right now, this is what matters; this makes me happy:<br />
<br />
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<br />voltzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296000979681112106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1522850124805727571.post-85155856991604671602016-12-13T01:31:00.001-08:002016-12-13T01:31:27.772-08:00...Surrender...I am a Catholic, and if there's one thing I embraced as a Catholic, it's being accepting of other religions. I have had differing opinions about attending masses, and out of personal principle a while back, I made a conscious effort not to attend mass for a while. Say what you want with that act, but it did not change my view of my faith. I never had an issue with the Church as a religion, but I sometimes question how others choose to understand its teachings.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
The masses I've had in high school were inspiring to attend because of the youthful energy around, the lively band playing the mass songs, and the relatable sermons of brothers and priests we usually hang out with during break times. Other masses I've enjoyed thereafter were those celebrated by priests who had sensible and inspiring things to say, i.e. nothing about politics. For the most part, Catholic masses feel like a collection of individuals with various agendas in attending the mass; some look like they were dragged to it, some seem like they were just there because someone asked them to come, some just want to get done with it, but there are some who go there to genuinely make a connection with God.<br />
<br />
I think that's why I sometimes envy Christian celebrations. I went to a Victory celebration once, and found it very peaceful. It doesn't hurt that the Christians I know are generally warm people so I always thought it was nice to join in on their celebrations.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<u><b>The Feast</b></u><br />
<br />
A friend has been inviting my wife and I to join their celebration of The Feast in Suntec City, but it never really worked out because we had games scheduled on Sundays, and I had work on Saturdays.<br />
<br />
A couple of weeks ago, everything lined up and we were able to commit and attend.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
From what I know, The Feast is a Catholic prayer community founded by Bo Sanchez. Initially, I honestly thought it was a Christian group, but that never deterred me or my wife from wanting to attend a celebration.<br />
<br />
Attending The Feast was a welcome change. They shared personal experiences and sang songs I didn't know, and while they shared inspiring stories, their words didn't move me as much as it appeared to move others. However, there was a strange energy in the room that filled me. I don't usually subscribe to supernatural experiences, but I kid you not when I say that there was something in that room.<br />
<br />
I believe that it was a direct effect of similarly driven individuals collectively making a leap of faith. The songs were just mere expressions, but everyone, at least in those moments, has offered everything to God. This did not happen because they needed something from God, but rather because they wanted to express their gratitude to Him by trusting Him completely.<br />
<br />
I was pleasantly surprised; most of the people I know become religious when they need something from a higher being, or if they feel like they need to give back because of what they have done in the past. Others are too religious for me to relate with; they speak too much about their faith as if they have nothing more to do than to pray every second that I'm not talking to them. That Sunday, I was with regular people who got together to give thanks to God through songs.<br />
<br />
I can't stress "togetherness" enough. Even if I am with my family in a Church, it sometimes feels like we're motivated by different things. My wife and I attend mass together, but despite so many people around, it never felt like we were praying "together" with other people in the parish. We prayed in unison because there were prompts, but we weren't all "together."<br />
<br />
During The Feast, there was a feeling of serenity, warmth, and belongingness I have never experienced in a Catholic mass.<br />
<br />
Later in the celebration, the speaker asked everyone to somewhat "share the love" this Christmas season and walk around to hug everyone in the room. I literally knew two people there, and another one by association because my wife worked with him. Still, I went around and hugged the most number of strangers in my entire life. I didn't feel forced, nor did I feel like the others were forced to hug a stranger like me. There were a lot of warm hugs that day.<br />
<br />
After The Feast was a Sunday mass celebrated by one of the nicer priests in St. Theresa, Father Romeo. Having had The Feast prior made me more prepared to hear mass than I have ever been in my life.<br />
<br />
Last Sunday, we went to attend regular mass again. The feeling of "community" wasn't there. I'm thinking maybe it would be different if I served, but then during the Feast, there was a sense of community even if I wasn't serving.<br />
<br />
I'm not comparing because I am unmotivated as a Catholic. I just want to figure out what is missing in Catholic masses that there are less and less men who heed the call of priesthood, and why chapels are only full during holiday masses.<br />
<br />
I think the parishes are lacking a sense of community despite their best efforts to build one. The diversity of the people in the community also makes it difficult to create one. I'm thankful to have learned about The Feast, because I think it emulates the energy felt in a Christian celebration and integrates it into a Catholic setting. I appreciate what they do, and I hope to join in on more celebrations with them.<br />
<br />
<b><u>Reflecting on Faith</u></b><br />
<br />
Faith, I think, requires a certain surrender. It's not supposed to be taught and drilled into the minds of people, young or old. I don't think it's necessarily bad to teach the young about faith, but to impose one's perspective on them even when they reach the age where they can discern for themselves is almost like brainwashing, I feel like.<br />
<br />
This experience helped me feel that certain surrender. It came at the most appropriate time. At the time I was with The Feast, I almost felt selfish because I was thinking about my personal struggles. Yes, I thank God for every day that I wake up, but during that time, I felt I didn't thank Him enough.<br />
<br />
It's easy to say "Jesus, take the wheel," but it's another thing to let Him. After all, if you know how to drive, you tend to be uneasy whenever someone else drives for you, especially if it's your car. It's not easy to give up control of something you're responsible for; be it your life or your car.<br />
<br />
That day with The Feast taught me that taking a leap of faith isn't just an expression, and the surrender that is felt is euphoric.<br />
<br />
Surrendering control doesn't solve everything, but it helps give one a clear mind as to how one would deal with what is not yet.<br />
<br />
I have my worries and uncertainties about the year to come, but because of the timely coincidence of us attending that particular celebration, I feel like everything's going to be alright.voltzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296000979681112106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1522850124805727571.post-31832148120467166922016-11-21T08:55:00.001-08:002016-11-21T09:04:37.908-08:00...F.O.M.O....<h3>
fomo<br />noun, informal<br /><i>"fear of missing out"</i></h3>
<h3>
<i style="font-weight: normal;">The fear that if you miss a party or event you will miss out on something great</i></h3>
<div>
<i style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></i></div>
<div>
<i style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></i></div>
Growing up, I liked to surround myself with same-aged friends. It is through them that I developed most of the interests I have even to this day. My parents would attest that I spend more time with friends than I do at home.<br />
<br />
In my 30 years of existence, I became close friends with a lot of people, but most of them I barely even talk to anymore. Despite how friendly I can be, I only kept a handful of friends around.<br />
<br />
When I decided to get married, I knew that it would mean leaving those friends behind. My then-girlfriend had been based in Singapore for a year when I proposed, and it would be difficult for her to move back to the Philippines if we considered the financial implications.<br />
<br />
After getting married, I was jobless for a while before settling for a cashier job at a nice Filipino restaurant eight months in. I had no friends of my own, except our housemates who were my wife's college buddies. I built new relationships because that's what I do, but none can replace the void left by my friends and family back home.<br />
<br />
Sometime a couple of weeks back, a sudden sadness gripped me. I saw friends making plans on a whim to meet up, while I felt alone and uninteresting where I was. At first, I felt like it was a case of FOMO.<br />
<br />
I talked to my wife about what I was going through, and right then and there, she booked me a flight back home to meet friends and family.<br />
<br />
It was a quick trip but I was able to meet the people I wanted to be with; my immediate family, my cousin Jon and his dad, my college family with Kuya Ags, my brothers in Team Flow, and my ates Sof, Inna, Len, and Ernestine. As always, despite whatever I thought I was going through, I ended up just having fun with everyone.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A four-day trip with a lot happening, but this is the only event that was documented; my brothers and sister from other mothers.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Upon my return, my boss talked to me about what happened, and he offered some pieces of advice. Among those, he told me that I wasn't ready to be a dad yet because I had episodes like this. He said that when one gets married, one should be ready to give up everything. I begged to differ, but with alcohol and a live band playing, I decided against getting into a more reasonable debate.<br />
<br />
Let me share the points I would have raised:<br />
<br />
<b><u>Passion Leads You to Where You Should Be</u></b><br />
<br />
I have friends who ended up in professions I never imagined they would be, while there are some who ended up exactly where they should be. My wife was very fond of Coke as a product that even her persistent stomach ulcer can't keep her away from it. How she ended up with a job at Coke is beyond us, but we're thankful for it. Our wedding planner, Pam, has what we think is a successful events company that she runs. While we're already amazed that she was able to do that, I'm even more amazed that she opened up a second restaurant because she's passionate about cooking. My friend, Christian, is someone you could consider as a slacker in college. He didn't graduate with us, but begged his mom to let him study law. Four years and one bar exam later, he was a lawyer.<br />
<br />
After reflecting, I realized I wasn't like them who were passionate about something in particular. However, if there's one thing that I liked that hasn't changed since when I was young, it's being a father. Even as a kid I didn't know what I wanted to do as a profession, but I was damn sure that I wanted to be a dad. I didn't set my heart on a single career path, and it's probably why I can't find the right job just yet.<br />
<br />
I wasn't built to sulk, and no matter how you see this blog or my intentions for opening up to my wife, I was really just trying to find solutions. One of the solutions I came up with, with the help of my ates, was to try focusing on learning new things that could help me build a freelance career. That way, I could stay home for our kids but still be able to help my wife provide for our family. Hopefully, things begin to get better on this front by next year.<br />
<br />
<u><b>Life Goes On</b></u><br />
<br />
My biggest fear in life is death. I fear not knowing what happens after death - to me or to the people around me. To a lesser extent, this same fear was what kept me hesitant from leaving the country altogether; what happens to my parents who would have none of their kids at home? What happens to my last boss when we were the only people doing sales for the company? What happens to my friends who only needed a single text message to see me when they need or want to?<br />
<br />
And then I jumped and ended up where I am.<br />
<br />
The short trip back home gave me a sense of euphoria with everyone I got together with. While I am still uncertain about what happens after death, I realized that while I am alive, I'll always have these people around me no matter how far away I am from them. See, despite months of not seeing each other, it's like we saw each other just the week before. I missed them all, and talking to all of them made me feel at ease. When we parted ways, I didn't feel like I was going to miss them; whether they know it or not, they made me feel like they will always be there when I need them, and they will be the same people I have come to appreciate no matter how much time I don't get to see them.<br />
<br />
Life does go on, with or without us together. However, I'm happy that the friends I kept are the same ones who do want to keep me as well.<br />
<br />
<b><u>Complete Surrender</u></b><br />
<br />
I concur with my boss when he told me that one has to be prepared to give up everything when one decides to get married. However, I don't subscribe to his idea that one should actually give up everything.<br />
<br />
I think that your significant other married you for the person that you are, not the person that you will be when you get married.<br />
<br />
I've been married for about a year, but I've been in a relationship with my wife for the past 11 years, so I believe that I'm not much of a newbie in this relationship thing. I've also had my fair share of relationship experiences from people around me. I've seen what happens when you jump with your eyes closed because of complete trust only to find out when you open it that the one you trusted for decades is catching someone or something else.<br />
<br />
It's romantic to hear that you would give your complete trust to your partner, but if something goes wrong (i.e. someone cheats, someone gets too busy with work, someone chooses friends over their partner, a partner dies, etc.), it would be difficult for one or both partners to pick up the pieces of themselves. Sure, life goes on, but why make it difficult for the other to move on by keeping him/her away from who he/she really is?<br />
<br />
I believe that while couples can trust each other completely, they should never lose their individuality. Two may become one in marriage, but the reality is, there are two people. One can't be just the shadow of the other.<br />
<br />
As I said, I made the leap of faith when I chose to leave home. However, I'm thankful to have a wife who constantly pushed me to keep my individuality despite my surrender.<br />
<br />
<b><u>No Regrets</u></b><br />
<br />
Despite the loneliness I felt that led to my sudden trip back home, I came back knowing that this is where I should be.<br />
<br />
Truth be told, I wouldn't have imagined I'd be married in a different country five years ago. I hoped I would be married by this age, but I didn't know how it would work. My wife wanted to do a lot of things back then, while all I wanted was to have family. I hated that I couldn't get married to her sooner, but I needed her to figure things out before asking her to build a future together.<br />
<br />
And she did.<br />
<br />
I don't know if we'd be married now if she didn't have the courage to move away from home back in 2013. We would probably still be happy with friends and family around us back home. We would probably still be living with our parents. We would probably still be working with our beloved bosses back home (no sarcasm here, we honestly loved our bosses). But we wouldn't be married, with the way our finances were and how my mind worked because of how I was raised.<br />
<br />
Heck, we probably wouldn't even be together because she'd be too tired to wait for me to ask her hand in marriage.<br />
<br />
Where we are now, no matter how lonely it could get for me at times because of who I am, is where I think we should be. We live with friends, but we manage our own expenses. We don't inconvenience anybody if we go home late. We spend most of our time in our own room together because our friends can't call us for a sudden get together like they could back home. We get to plan our lives without asking for anyone else's blessing.<br />
<br />
We've grown up together, and we're only growing more as adults because our decisions carry that much more weight now.<br />
<br />
I miss home. I miss everyone. But this is where we need to be.<br />
<br />
And when we get our own little one, I think everything will be well worth it.voltzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296000979681112106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1522850124805727571.post-43873956947450975762016-09-07T02:26:00.000-07:002016-09-07T02:27:27.165-07:00...Houseband No More: Officially an OFW...A couple of weeks back, I wrote a blog about being jobless in Singapore and how I'm dealing with it. The day after the said blog was posted, we looked for a place to hang out after a busy week for the working housemates. I looked for barbecue places (meat!) that wasn't too expensive and found Iskina Cebu, a restaurant that offers Cebu Lechon and other roasted meat. It's in Timbre+, a food park concept that isn't too far from our house.<br />
<br />
We met the guys and learned that they were having a hard time looking for people with a Dependant's Pass who were willing to work as their cashier. I asked if I could be their guy, and a few discussions with the owner later during the night, I was kind of hired. Chris (the owner) asked me to come by the week after to start training, and I've been working ever since.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_bEZqtjQoLsFlEBtiG5vY0PJRzdqI9wPkw6Or8b3g4LeUxf90tgmnwnQM2sqtCKcACpnLWTbYQ6RzSagHqPOKGt89waxQW0CMtR4pI5Qteen1tFHNJLrFgQP8B57zP9ge2t0sKOZwK6cd/s1600/1472545022043.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_bEZqtjQoLsFlEBtiG5vY0PJRzdqI9wPkw6Or8b3g4LeUxf90tgmnwnQM2sqtCKcACpnLWTbYQ6RzSagHqPOKGt89waxQW0CMtR4pI5Qteen1tFHNJLrFgQP8B57zP9ge2t0sKOZwK6cd/s400/1472545022043.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My new workplace :)</td></tr>
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<br />
Pay's not so bad; something from zero is definitely a step up, isn't it?<br />
<br />
If I knew writing a blog would lead me to a job, I should have done it earlier.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><u>Life As a Cashier</u></span></b><br />
<br />
Chris was asking for a long term commitment to his team, as he plans to expand to other places in Singapore. He said he's working on the structure of the company, and he'd need people to help out in sales eventually. Personally, I thought being a cashier would be a part time thing, but knowing that he has a vision for the company, I said I'd love to join his team especially with the opportunity for growth. Besides, it's a brand I can get behind, as it promotes the Filipino culture here in Singapore.<br />
<br />
So far, it has been tiring, with work hours starting from 12 noon to 10 or 11 PM at night. However, it's been fun, especially since I get to meet a lot of people. Filipinos frequent our shop, but we don't fall short on having regular patrons of different races. For someone who enjoys meeting new people, this job has been rewarding in a sense. There are times when I need to spend time introducing our menu to new customers who have never heard of lechon before, and after they're done eating, they would take time to come back just to express how they enjoyed our food. It's the same rewarding experience I got with our food truck before. Even if I'm not cooking, I'm happy that the brand I represent is something I can proudly promote.<br />
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It's been a pleasant surprise to reconnect with old acquaintances through my job. Over the past two weeks, I've met a schoolmate from grade school and a junior in college from one of my favorite classes to visit when I was campaigning for the Student Council. I'm looking forward to meeting more friends randomly while I'm doing this.<br />
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Family and friends have all said the same thing to me when I told them about my new job; "mag-ingat ka sa cholesterol mo!"<br />
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Their concern is understandable, and I would like them all to know that I don't eat our food everyday. The guys told me to just feel free to grab my lunch from the kitchen, but I do try not to eat there everyday. Don't get me wrong, the food tastes great, but I don't want to get tired of eating roast pork. To do that, I need to practice self-control.<br />
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I also learned the struggles of the business that they have. I realized even more how business isn't just about having money. Chris, the businessman that he is, has kept his brand consistently good because he works in it himself. You probably wouldn't feel like he's the owner when you meet him, because you can easily relate to him and you'd see him either cooking, chopping, manning the cashier, or serving food from time to time. He has survived dealing with partners who would remit questionable sales returns, part-timers who would repeat receipts so that they can pocket some cash for their own, and a shortage of personnel. I think anyone who isn't as resilient as him could have just cashed out and sold his brand out. Instead, here he is, still working on his dream to grow his brand.<br />
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Trust is such an important factor in choosing the people who will work for you. I'm thankful that he has placed that trust in me, but I am sometimes left to wonder why do people have to cheat the hand that feeds them?<br />
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Surprise Documentary</span></u></b><br />
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Last Saturday, a film student came by to talk to Chris about shooting some clips for his documentary. Yesterday, they came by again, asking to interview the guys for the said project. I didn't want to get interviewed because I thought it was about the restaurant, but he said he thought focusing on the people would be more interesting. They asked some personal questions which I had no issues with, considering I wrote about it in my last blog. Let me share some of our discussions;<br />
<br />
<b><u>On Filipinos Being Happy</u></b><br />
<br />
He cautiously gave his observation about Filipinos in Lucky Plaza on Sundays. He said that when he sees them happy and even dancing on their picnics, he can't help but wonder if it's all a facade; that six days in a week, they suffer the reality that they are away from their families.<br />
<br />
Growing up with both my parents working, I was lucky enough to have had the privilege of living with house helpers to take care of us. Our house help usually came from provinces. While their provinces are a bus or a boat ride away, they were still away from their families. Back then, there were no social networks or cellphones to keep themselves updated with their families. They lived with us for years, and while I do think they miss their families, they weren't crying everyday because of it.<br />
<br />
When my sister first had her baby, she looked for someone who would be able to help her take care of Khail. We met Ate Lorena, who was a distant relative of one of Ate's housemates. She was a nice lady who had kids of her own. She would often cry while sharing how she misses home, but she also smiles while doing so.<br />
<br />
When natural tragedies like floods or whatnot hit the Philippines, it's not uncommon to see people full of smiles waving to cameras despite the carnage behind them.<br />
<br />
I told him that I thought we are a generally happy people. I think the happiness that he sees in Lucky Plaza is not an act. I have no doubt that they miss their families, but technology has helped bridge distances between families and their providers who work overseas.<br />
<br />
I think that despite the distance, they stay happy and motivated because they are able to contribute to their goal of providing for their families back home. While they are away from their own families taking care of another in a foreign country, they are giving their children a chance to build their own dreams. They do their jobs well, as I do mine, so that we can contribute to our respective goals. Focusing on the sadness of being away from home (or in my case, where I am professionally) will only affect our performance, and might hurt our capacity to help reach our goals.<br />
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<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<b><u>On Career</u></b><br />
<br />
He shared that his motivation in making this documentary about people is his realization that he will soon graduate and he doesn't know what will happen. He's pursuing his passion of making film, but he also understands the challenges of his industry. He also knows that he may need to find jobs that may not pay as much as soon as he graduates, but he doesn't know how he would be able to do it.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
They asked me if I thought that being a cashier here is a step down from being an account manager back in the Philippines. I said I think career-wise, it is undoubtedly a step down. However, financially, I thought it wasn't as bad. At least I didn't have to spend my salary on airfare to visit my wife.<br />
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It's not lost to me that being a cashier isn't exactly a dream job for a "provider". It certainly wasn't in my mind when I was getting my degree or creating a network personally or professionally. I may be settling, but I'm not sulking. I focus on the positives of my job rather that dwell on what looks like an unpromising professional career.<br />
<br />
I told the guy that it's important to work on a goal to keep oneself motivated to be happy or to go on. When I decided to get married, I knew the sacrifices I had to make, and I knew that my career was going to be one of them. While some may look down on the job I landed, I write about it with pride because I know that I am working towards a goal of starting a family, and what I earn will help me contribute in reaching that goal.<br />
<u><b><br /></b></u>
<u><b>On Missing Home</b></u><br />
<br />
As a student who's lived most his life in Singapore, he couldn't understand how we could leave home in favor of living in a foreign country. He asked if I missed home.<br />
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I definitely miss home. I miss family, friends, getting to drive, the familiarity, and much more. It's never easy to leave home, but growing up means making difficult decisions. By deciding to get married, I was ready to live my life with the person I wanted to grow old with. She didn't need to make me choose between home and her; I had as much power to make her choose the same. I made this decision by myself and for us.<br />
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He may be too young to understand, but I'm not saying I'm old enough to be an expert on this matter. From my perspective, though, I think that the idea of having to choose just one scares the shit out of people. Our culture has implanted in us a deep connection with our family. As we grow older, we extend that connection to our friends. When we meet the person we think we want to be with for the rest of our lives, it's important for us that he/she is accepted by the people around us. We don't need to totally let go of our family and friends, but once you make a decision to get married, the hierarchy of importance should change. The "family" in "family comes first" becomes your own family; your husband/wife and kids, instead of your parents and siblings. <br />
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I think those who are on the fence about getting married is scared of this inevitable decision. Personally, I didn't know I was ready to make such a decision. When I decided to do it, I just jumped to the unknown, with the only thing I'm certain of was that I trusted that the hand I held was the only hand I wanted to hold, no matter where we fell.<br />
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<br />voltzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296000979681112106noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1522850124805727571.post-20580488118841433412016-08-18T01:44:00.000-07:002016-08-18T01:44:06.094-07:00...Housebanding in Singapore: Eight Months In...If you asked me when I was in high school where I saw myself by age 30, I probably wouldn't have a concrete answer. However, I definitely wouldn't have said "married, and unemployed in a different country."<br />
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"Retired" would probably be a better goal by the time you reach 30, but that could only happen when you have enough savings to make you not work anymore. If you lived most of your life in a third world country with a corrupt government, chances are you never got the opportunity to earn enough to do that by age 30 unless you're either a tech whiz who invented some revolutionary new app or something, a lottery winner, or a kid of a corrupt politician. Since I am neither of those, and I lived most of my 30 years in the Philippines, I can definitely say that I am unemployed, and not retired.<br />
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Since graduating in 2007, I had about four jobs, and none of which look appealing enough to build around here in Singapore. I would explore entry level jobs, but there aren't a lot of open doors for 30-year-old rookies. It gets frustrating. My wife and I are not going hungry, as my waistline and neck fats would tell you. However, as a man, I do want to be the provider for our family, not the other way around.<br />
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One of our wedding godmothers tried to catch up with me recently, and she said she's happy to see that we're still enjoying Singapore despite my situation. I said I always enjoy what I have and don't stress out on what I don't. I think being happy is always a choice. How else can you explain Filipinos keeping smiles on their faces when the news feature their towns devastated by floods?<br />
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So, eight months in to this marriage, unemployed in a foreign country and away from my family and friends, I have to say that I'm no expert in this kind of life. Still, that never stopped me from writing before, it won't stop me from writing now. I'll probably update this in the future, or look back at this whenever things get hard. For now, here are three things that could help a houseband like me keep a happy marriage:<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Have Pride as a Houseband</span></b><br />
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Men are supposed to be the provider, the head of the family. Once a man does not fulfill that, he feels less of a man. And what is a man without his pride?<br />
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I think that in this day and age, we should recognize the possibility of the house husband - the houseband. For years, women have fought for equal rights so that they could have jobs and positions that were once thought to be exclusive for men. Now that women are in positions of power, why can't there be men who are in occupations once thought of as exclusive to women?<br />
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Instead of bumming out because of not having a job, why not be the keeper of the house? Make sure that the wife, who is working to provide for the family, does not have to worry about keeping the house in order. Women have done it for years, there's no reason for men not to be able to handle it, especially if they think it's easy<br />
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Instead of sulking about not having a job, be the best houseband your wife could ever have. It's still a full time job.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Spend According to Your Earnings</b></span><br />
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When you have zero earnings, don't be a burden. My wife didn't let me manage her expenses early on in our careers because she thought it was her hard earned money, and it was her right to spend it any way that she liked. Looking back, I think I should have held back on my spending when she wasn't, but I live with no regrets. My money was spent on good food, and my belly is now my pride.<br />
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Money does not come easy, and I know that mounting expenses can spark a fight between couples. Despite having been together for a good ten years prior to getting married, we never had to pay for utilities. We shared food expenses, nothing more. Now we have rent and utilities to think about. Since I don't have income to share, the best that I could do is make life as comfortable for her as possible, because that's all that I can do to pull my weight.<br />
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I'm thankful to have had parents who disciplined me enough to grow up not having expensive hobbies. I love electronic gadgets, but I don't feel compelled to own every interesting one. I love playing basketball, and it's great to be in a country where courts are managed well despite not many locals keen on playing the game. I love food, and having housemates who enjoy trying out restaurants as much as trying to cook on our own helps satisfy my taste buds.<br />
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Money can't buy everything, and it's not that difficult to find the free things that could make us happy.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Find Ways to Surprise Her</span></b><br />
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When friends ask me what they should do to impress a girl, I always tell them to keep it simple. Grand gestures of love are always great for movies, but in real life, it could cause problems down the line. See, movies could end with the couple kissing and the camera panning out. Real life doesn't. And when you get tired of thinking about grand gestures, your partner would grow disappointed and think that you're not putting much effort into your relationship.<br />
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I'd be a hypocrite if I said I never did grand gestures to impress my wife before. Of course I did. But it didn't happen often. The best surprises are those that you do when she least expects it. I had friends help me set up a song number for her debut; I had friends help me set up flowers at different spots in UST; and I had help putting together my proposal video. Those were happy moments, but the priceless ones were the ones that I didn't spend much money on; the nerds in a Coke can, the note on a cassette, and the actual proposal.<br />
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A surprise doesn't have to be expensive or elaborate. It just needs to be well thought of and something your partner can appreciate. I didn't have money for her birthday, but I scoured all possible outlets of Mizuno in Singapore to find the best volleyball kneepads for her. I didn't find the model I was looking for, but after comparing it with other brands, I thought that the ones I got best fit her game. I know, because I see her play. I also arranged her closet, because I know she doesn't have much time to do such things. For her birthday dinner, I woke up early to buy all the ingredients from the market and had her sleep in.<br />
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She didn't cry, she wasn't overwhelmed, but I know she appreciated the effort. A married life doesn't have to be boring. There was never a "The End" after you sealed your marriage with a kiss; you don't get to stop trying to woo her.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Enjoy the Little Things</span></b><br />
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My wife and I spent a couple of years maintaining a long distance relationship prior to getting married. During this time, all we could do was have video dates and update each other through social messaging apps. We couldn't nurse each other back to health or hold each other's hand.<br />
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After getting married, we stayed together in Singapore and have a better appreciation for the things we missed out on. While "adulting" could lead to worrying about more things than romance, couples shouldn't neglect it.<br />
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Old couples probably don't notice, but some romantics get teary-eyed when they see them walking hand in hand even if they could barely walk. We romantics could only dream of having that at that age. And I believe that that doesn't happen if they didn't do it constantly over the years.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Regret Nothing and Blame No One</span></b><br />
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I had a pretty good job back at home. I had a car, I had family and friends nearby. I was earning enough to maintain a lifestyle that let me enjoy life. And now I'm sitting alone at home, jobless, with no one to talk to during work hours.<br />
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It's easy to blame my wife for choosing to move away from home. It's logical to regret not choosing to pursue a course about computers since most openings in the country we moved to are tech-related. It shouldn't be surprising to find me hating life.<br />
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But here I am, writing a blog about how to stay happy. Because right now, I am happily married.<br />
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I don't blame my wife for the life I am living now. She chose to move away because of a better opportunity. While I had a decent income back at home, she didn't. If I held her back so that we could both stay, we probably wouldn't be in a better situation financially.<br />
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While my phone's not ringing because of employers, I don't regret taking up Philosophy in college. I met a lot of great people there, and it shaped me into the man that I am today. I also wouldn't have met my wife.<br />
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Albert Camus was quoted as saying that "life is a sum of all your choices" (I googled for proper citation on the quote, I'm not about to pretend I'm a bookworm). I think I'm pretty ok as a person. I'm sarcastic, at times obnoxious, definitely noisy, but most of the time, fun to be with. I think my family and friends enjoy my company in good times and in bad, so I at least know that I ended up as a pretty good person.<br />
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This is my life so far; this is the sum of my choices. It is a sum that I will happily live with because of how I turned out to be as a person, be it as a husband, a son, a brother, a cousin, a nephew or a friend.<br />
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Living should always be going forward. We can stop to learn from where we stumbled, but we can't regret our choices or blame others for where we ended up. We did what we did because it was what we thought was right at the time that we did it. Regret and blame won't make our lives better when we wake up.<br />
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Sulking alone or with your partner could lead to a pretty miserable partnership. When you got married, you shared your life with someone. That means your success is their success, and your failures are theirs as well. Don't drag happiness down with problems that wouldn't be solved by talking about it. <br />
<br />voltzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296000979681112106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1522850124805727571.post-3748560820921011302016-07-07T01:32:00.000-07:002016-07-07T01:32:02.138-07:00...Finding a New NBA Team to Cheer For...I love basketball. Anyone who knows me probably knows this well. I would go on endless debates and even gamble money or pride to prove my points. I want to claim that I am a fan of the game, but I also think that I can't be a fan if I didn't have a favorite team. Sure, I had to be objective when I wrote my articles, but I never hid the fact that I rooted for the Miami Heat of the Dwyane Wade era. <div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I qualify my fandom in as the "Dwyane Wade Era" because Heat "lifers" could have something to say about it. "Lifers" are the fans most difficult to talk to about the game. They will irrationally claim their team will one day win the championship, and when they do, they feel like everyone else who cheered for their team are "bandwagon" fans. These are people who think that nobody else deserve to be fans. It's nice to learn about a team's history from them, but it's best that you talk to them about other sports or other leagues if you want to enjoy your conversation.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmzmA8nuZ3AGCoGOmneUxq00nX0ah-hWB5WU_knXQIpyaoSINn2BUDiGsJs5-wavxW-Qa_bBoZLVF5a28LQBdepkM1p82JF41ATgbZKRVcT2hwV9zI-urkfkjx6qvD7JCWL8Jcg4H2rk-B/s1600/wade+bulls.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmzmA8nuZ3AGCoGOmneUxq00nX0ah-hWB5WU_knXQIpyaoSINn2BUDiGsJs5-wavxW-Qa_bBoZLVF5a28LQBdepkM1p82JF41ATgbZKRVcT2hwV9zI-urkfkjx6qvD7JCWL8Jcg4H2rk-B/s400/wade+bulls.jpg" width="260" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thank you for the memories, D-Wade.</td></tr>
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<br /></div>
<div>
With news coming out that Dwyane Wade is coming to his hometown of Chicago, I realized that I wasn't that much of a Dwyane Wade lifer to follow him back to Chicago. The NBA fan in me doesn't enjoy Fred Hoiberg leading Chicago. The NBA Fantasy player that I am doesn't think a core of Rajon Rondo, Jimmy Butler, and Dwyane Wade is a good fit. As a gambler, I don't think I could talk trash to people that my team could beat theirs when I can't sell the idea of Wade in Chicago to myself. </div>
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<div>
As a free agent fan, I made a shortlist of teams to root for:</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>The Golden State Warriors</u></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u><br /></u></b></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigVz9ewJkvzfD0oPNBp4U2nAVCE1RZghq10L1mM5vk0RRhL5VN0_5N7VD3nsdqVAN4RGKcNPcx4TBmMf7nlYaXeqla-FVmvwSjivkNsicQmA5UKiri1KGMNgIKJMF-ZY7oNPXwuK1OVxm5/s1600/kd+warriors.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigVz9ewJkvzfD0oPNBp4U2nAVCE1RZghq10L1mM5vk0RRhL5VN0_5N7VD3nsdqVAN4RGKcNPcx4TBmMf7nlYaXeqla-FVmvwSjivkNsicQmA5UKiri1KGMNgIKJMF-ZY7oNPXwuK1OVxm5/s400/kd+warriors.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">KD Played with an MVP-caliber player in Westbrook, and will now play with a 2-time MVP in Curry</td></tr>
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<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Gambler me is very happy with this choice. Kevin Durant and the Splash Brothers? David West and Zaza Pachulia? Even if they lose Harrison Barnes to make ends meet, this is still a crazy good team. Expectations are already high after their historic 73-9 season, but with KD joining them, they only made their burden that much heavier to carry. </div>
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<div>
<b>Verdict:</b></div>
<div>
No. I was a bit scared when LeBron came to Miami, knowing full well that as the villains of the league, it was a championship or nothing. I am not ready to invest my emotions to a team carrying so much pressure to win every single game. </div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></u></b></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">The Cleveland Cavaliers</span></u></b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAWf-TczVeULV59XP9I9yuX6nsyirafwAyrp8MEcg0718ry-7ALv8clBuC5JMZQNVbRbQp7dOBGF_r_pg6qfqmx_ilGvfrLOwkPA8Dp_6v5pGtvpw7QclLs1WilD3wFLoj10VP4qumiXwK/s1600/lebron+james+block.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAWf-TczVeULV59XP9I9yuX6nsyirafwAyrp8MEcg0718ry-7ALv8clBuC5JMZQNVbRbQp7dOBGF_r_pg6qfqmx_ilGvfrLOwkPA8Dp_6v5pGtvpw7QclLs1WilD3wFLoj10VP4qumiXwK/s400/lebron+james+block.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A block that defined the Cavs' first championship, and an example of how LeBron is unfair</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="text-align: center;">They just won a championship, and LeBron James doesn't look like he's going to get slower. Richard Jefferson was instrumental in winning the first ring for "The Land" but has decided to retire. While Wade didn't reunite with LeBron, he did somewhat help James get a teammate to fill in Jefferson's role as the heady veteran in Mike Dunleavy. They had minor losses (Timofey Mozgov to the Lakers, Matthew Dellavedova to the Bucks), but this is pretty much the same core who won that championship. </span><br />
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<div>
<b>Verdict:</b></div>
<div>
No. I think LeBron James is too good, and the basketball fan in me enjoys the game too much to cheer for a team with a distinct advantage. The guy played in the Finals for six straight seasons with the spotlight on him. No matter who was around him, he made things work. He's a living cheat code. </div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>The San Antonio Spurs</u></b></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhBNqOQBaKOkTlYq1eJgq8_QvhSwNla0MKAmaV27hEDviHsO5GonogI3DZttVcvPLHwHrQQv7TmIJCTYacT0kptYyXPVbYcyK8psR4JZ4AZZ2cih2hsOghAOJ4bXafKDbm-E5lepbc0Esu/s1600/pau.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhBNqOQBaKOkTlYq1eJgq8_QvhSwNla0MKAmaV27hEDviHsO5GonogI3DZttVcvPLHwHrQQv7TmIJCTYacT0kptYyXPVbYcyK8psR4JZ4AZZ2cih2hsOghAOJ4bXafKDbm-E5lepbc0Esu/s400/pau.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Would Duncan decide to delay retirement to play alongside Pau Gasol?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
Even fans of the Spurs were appalled by the KD to GSW decision, but had to stop complaining after Pau Gasol decided to join them. TD may or may not retire, and Tony Parker just torched the Gilas team in the Olympic Qualifying Tournament. They are coming off a season when they registered a team-best win total, and are already transitioning to the new era featuring LaMarcus Aldridge and Kawhi Leonard. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
<b>Verdict:</b></div>
<div>
I hate to say no, but no. Who can't love these Spurs? They bored teams and fans to death but won championships anyway. When they lost their step, Pop changed things up and played a more uptempo game to go with the times. They won another championship, and still have arguably the most humble players in the league. However, as an already established team, I feel too bandwagon-y joining them now. </div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">The Milwaukee Bucks</span></u></b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPaXL9yM3abPJMEUkuN8xQPBB6b2zCOhL27cnR4ej7LM16rmaVk4Y7xNie3bOOVhLx2QCxmaOLNHsTdaPXARCKK7kk3K3Y9MenJdRuklHGNUuHu5-IfVn52DZgdTgmn9_Fv-6DbHBIG4R7/s1600/giannis.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPaXL9yM3abPJMEUkuN8xQPBB6b2zCOhL27cnR4ej7LM16rmaVk4Y7xNie3bOOVhLx2QCxmaOLNHsTdaPXARCKK7kk3K3Y9MenJdRuklHGNUuHu5-IfVn52DZgdTgmn9_Fv-6DbHBIG4R7/s400/giannis.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My Fantasy Basketball MVP, the Greek Freak</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
The Fantasy Basketball player in me likes this team. Giannis Antetokounmpo is a two-way player on all five basketball positions and could be the freakiest athlete in the game if LeBron James wasn't a real person. Khris Middleton is one of my under the radar guys in Fantasy. I like how the team is looking like a video game created team, with every position filled by what Jason Kidd would be if he was able to customize himself. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
Verdict: </div>
<div>
Maybe. I've been watching them since the Greek Freak entered the league, and while I like the promise, I can't understand what went wrong last season considering a relatively intact lineup. I'm not sure if I'm ready to wait on their process.</div>
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<div>
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">The Memphis Grizzlies</span></u></b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCp4yjKiuCRUn8M6fZPrhcD5vYHaZXeOIRGU5jupM2b4BqOqt091TzxR-Dq2qNQT0pwkRszDjD7kFYVPAzobROA017_D_mEvT4_Ihvev_HVFNo9YZqyCgSuC4JNSv-i914LguJTJakE7Qo/s1600/parsons.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCp4yjKiuCRUn8M6fZPrhcD5vYHaZXeOIRGU5jupM2b4BqOqt091TzxR-Dq2qNQT0pwkRszDjD7kFYVPAzobROA017_D_mEvT4_Ihvev_HVFNo9YZqyCgSuC4JNSv-i914LguJTJakE7Qo/s400/parsons.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Is Parsons the guy they've been missing all this time?</td></tr>
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<br /></div>
<div>
Grit and Grind City needed a spot up shooter to complement their offense. They got that now with Chandler Parsons filling the 3 spot. While they did spend a whopping 150-mil on Mike Conley, it just goes to show how the organization is loyal to its players and committed to its style of play. </div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
<div>
<b>Verdict:</b></div>
<div>
No. Parsons is a great addition, but unless the Grizz sign the Phoenix Suns training staff, I'm not too sold on this team staying healthy enough to make a strong playoff push.</div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">The New York Knicks</span></u></b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBNBK54Xudi_DH0OzRfSC3mH9gBp89pcBHaNWac9qOB9YzUMac5Skf8g6js4Kc8DxOYh5LLS2s2rcKIrnOyQAvmnbOCXRRM6yoAKeujij46w9VK8-IM-GpvRq5FPUs1et5upY76xq6LX4W/s1600/rose.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBNBK54Xudi_DH0OzRfSC3mH9gBp89pcBHaNWac9qOB9YzUMac5Skf8g6js4Kc8DxOYh5LLS2s2rcKIrnOyQAvmnbOCXRRM6yoAKeujij46w9VK8-IM-GpvRq5FPUs1et5upY76xq6LX4W/s400/rose.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A real point guard to play with Kristaps and Melo is just one of the additions of the Knicks this offseason</td></tr>
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<div>
Kristaps Porzingis was legit last season. Now, with the starting 5 spot solely his, and with a point guard rotation of Derrick Rose and Brandon Jennings, Porzingod will probably get more open looks and maybe feed off some of the swagger from his guards. </div>
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<div>
<b>Verdict:</b></div>
<div>
Nope. It'll be interesting to finally see a rivalry between Carmelo Anthony and LeBron James especially with the cast they both have now. However, basketball fan me doesn't see New York as a good fit for my cheering self. </div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">The Boston Celtics</span></u></b></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></u></b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbNNOGRyLIB7sx8qnveJtPUtOhO1JwFD7ekjwn5iO69GMYk-qtKjbus8zqzNCnIQrP8lD4lnq6fJXzBucWYi565K8uPINtdRdtL1B67UDM84eXhVqkMoVkZIWDbRlHyvU8BQGzuY3jfAgn/s1600/horford.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbNNOGRyLIB7sx8qnveJtPUtOhO1JwFD7ekjwn5iO69GMYk-qtKjbus8zqzNCnIQrP8lD4lnq6fJXzBucWYi565K8uPINtdRdtL1B67UDM84eXhVqkMoVkZIWDbRlHyvU8BQGzuY3jfAgn/s400/horford.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Celtics could lose Sullinger, but upgrading to Horford isn't bad.</td></tr>
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<div>
Brad Stevens is making a believer out of me. This college coach pushed his team to the playoffs a little too early than anyone expected, and followed it up with a strong showing last season. With Al Horford in the mix, I think they are literally one player away from being favored over the Cavs in the East. This team needs no superstars, but they do need another solid SF. </div>
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<b>Verdict:</b></div>
<div>
Can't commit 100%. They are so close to being one of the top teams in the East, and while I think not too many people are riding their bandwagon, I also think that the window to ride their bandwagon was last season. If the Celtics go to the Finals this season, fans of the Brad Stevens era will be all high and mighty as if they've been lifers. I'd still cheer for them in the East.</div>
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<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>The Minnesota Timberwolves</u></b></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWH3oqpnAGzScfbSXTxtuHCRAPCAv5ZTuhgIUtvJ_6lWyZRoqRQq5aGtftoD7dssA1gALaEqymRBGt0vW0CxrHa7h0o8DaX7Pa_01zhL1doZkhvuCwLMwAj7Yu-OFc6DQ6aQLR12owwqOy/s1600/thibs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWH3oqpnAGzScfbSXTxtuHCRAPCAv5ZTuhgIUtvJ_6lWyZRoqRQq5aGtftoD7dssA1gALaEqymRBGt0vW0CxrHa7h0o8DaX7Pa_01zhL1doZkhvuCwLMwAj7Yu-OFc6DQ6aQLR12owwqOy/s400/thibs.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Offense is there, imagine adding Thibs defense to that?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
Karl Anthony-Towns showed everyone last season that he could be a legitimate franchise cornerstone. They have young pieces to build around, and played their hearts out for a coach who never called a single play this season in Flip Saunders. With Tom Thibodeau in charge, Andrew Wiggins could make people forget about Jimmy Butler's rise in the East. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
<b>Verdict:</b></div>
<div>
Yes. With the West only getting stronger, the Wolves are not yet title contenders this season. While they generated buzz with their Dunks After Dark sessions with Wiggins and Zach LaVine, I don't think there are enough fans out there cheering for the Wolves just yet. I am riding this bandwagon now, so that by the time 2020 comes along and they win the championship after signing Klay Thompson in 2019, I could say "I was there since day one bitches!" like any NBA troll would. The gambler in me is fine waiting for this team to blossom. The basketball fan in me is excited for this team, and believes that there isn't a solid fanbase who would disown me for riding their bandwagon. The Fantasy Basketball player in me is all in on either KAT, Ricky Rubio, or Zach LaVine this season. I think this balance wins it for me. Go Wolves!</div>
voltzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296000979681112106noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1522850124805727571.post-55867037477035665032016-04-16T00:59:00.000-07:002016-04-16T01:00:19.150-07:00...The NBA Playoffs: Western Conference First Round...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The Western Conference seems like it's going to get exciting only once the Conference Finals get going; when the Warriors are expected to face the Spurs for the right to compete in the NBA Finals. However, there are eight teams competing in the playoffs, with most of the teams wanting a shot at the same title. Injuries have hit some of these teams hard, which gives the impression that some of these match ups won't be as competitive as they should be. </div>
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It shouldn't be enough reason to pass on the first round for the west. Here are my thoughts on the first round for the West:</div>
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<b>(1) Golden State Warriors vs (8) Houston Rockets - 2015 WCF Revenge Series</b></div>
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<i>Golden State won regular season, 3-0</i></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img src="http://www.vegascoverage.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Houston-Rockets-at-Golden-State-Warriors-Online-Betting-NBA-Odds-Pick-and-Prediction.jpg" height="225" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="400" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Both MVP candidates last season, but took huge steps in the opposite directions</td></tr>
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After 20 years, the 72-10 regular season of the '96 Bulls seemed like an impossible feat to replicate or even break. Then came the Golden State Warriors, the team that just won the NBA title despite plenty of doubters. They started the season strong, beating teams in blowout fashion game after game. They ended their regular season with their 73rd win - a blowout of the undermanned Memphis Grizzlies. </div>
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The Rockets failed to build on the excellent 2015 campaign with a disappointing run this year. After a 56-win season and almost toppling the Warriors in the Western Conference Finals, they needed all 82 games this season just to hang on to the 8th seed. They are parading essentially the same lineup, with some minor tweaks, but they struggled with an out of shape James Harden and an unmotivated Dwight Howard. </div>
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<b>Why Golden State Will Win: </b></div>
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After breaking the Bulls' 72-10 record, losing in the first round of the playoffs is unfathomable, is it not? </div>
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<b>Why Houston Will Win:</b></div>
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With a practically intact core and some pieces working better than expected (Clint Capela, Donatas Motiejunas, Michael Beasley), the Rockets actually have a look of a contender. They have a talented roster built around their two superstars in Harden and Howard, and all they need is a motivation to win. </div>
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<b>Why Golden State Will Lose:</b></div>
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The Warriors set NBA highs for three pointers that probably won't be broken until they decide to gun for it. Steph Curry set an NBA record of 402 three pointers in a season before anyone else could register 300. With their reliance on the three ball, the only reason they would lose in the first round is if they counted every Warrior three as a two pointer. </div>
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<b>Why Houston Will Lose:</b></div>
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For all their talent, Harden and Howard don't have the same competitive fire there is in the likes of young franchise players as Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook, Damian Lillard, and I daresay even Gordon Hayward. The only "winner" in the Rockets' bench is Jason Terry, and that doesn't speak highly of their winning mentality. Maybe that's why Josh Smith and Michael Beasley feel right at home in Houston.</div>
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<b>Players to Watch Out For:</b></div>
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With all the attention on the Splash Brothers, Shaun Livingston is sneakily having a great season. If you haven't watched too many Warriors games, Livingston has been an excellent sixth man for them, providing length on defense and an impossible cover for point guards down on the low post. For the Rockets, Patrick Beverly will be given the impossible task of guarding Curry, with Corey Brewer probably having a crack at him too. How effective they are in stopping Curry would dictate how far the Rockets can go against the Warriors. </div>
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<b>Logical Prediction:</b> Warriors in 4</div>
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<b>Hopeful Prediction:</b> Warriors in 5</div>
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<b>(2) San Antonio Spurs vs (6) Memphis Grizzlies - Asserting Their Own Dominance</b></div>
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<i>San Antonio won regular season, 4-0</i></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Grizzlies lost Marc Gasol as the Spurs acquired a new problem to present</td></tr>
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With the Warriors winning a historic 73 wins this season, most people failed to notice that the Spurs won a franchise-best 67 wins themselves. They only lost once in their homecourt all season, and that was against the aforementioned Warriors team. All their accomplishments were overshadowed by the Warriors, and their best revenge would probably be to take this year's title away from them.</div>
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A season riddled with injury derailed the Grizzlies' campaign, but they won enough games to secure the sixth seed in the disappointing West. Marc Gasol suffered a season-ending injury, and Mike Conley will make his return in the Playoffs. The Grizzlies were suffering so much from injury, they once fielded a team this season filled with D-League call ups and 10-day contracts. </div>
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<b>Why San Antonio Will Win: </b></div>
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While everyone seems to be patterning their teams to the small ball style of the Golden State Warriors, the San Antonio Spurs remain to be the team that every NBA franchise aspire to be. Despite their aging stars, they still managed to infuse young talent in their team, and are now in a great position to win it all with their past (Tony Parker, Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobili) and future (LaMarcus Aldridge, Kawhi Leonard, Danny Green?) meeting in this present time. </div>
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<b>Why Memphis Will Win:</b></div>
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The Grizzlies have historically been a good matchup for the Spurs. Their grit and grind style of play was able to stop the Spurs' half court plays. </div>
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<b>Why San Antonio Will Lose:</b></div>
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They won't. </div>
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<b>Why Memphis Will Lose:</b></div>
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Losing Marc Gasol cripples Memphis on both ends of the floor.</div>
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<b>Players to Watch Out For:</b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;"><br />The Spurs will match up against the shell of a Memphis team that doesn't have Gasol in the middle. It may be a chance for them to give their bench some playoff minutes - Kevin Martin, Boban Marjanovic, and Kyle Anderson have given the Spurs quality minutes off the bench during the season, and getting playoff minutes could give them a shot of confidence they could use for the latter rounds of the playoffs. The Grizzlies may not be much this year, but imagine what this playoff run could do for the chemistry between Lance Stephenson, Matt Barnes, and "Grindfather" Tony Allen. </span></div>
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<b>Logical Prediction:</b> Spurs in 4</div>
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<b>Hopeful Prediction:</b> Spurs in 4</div>
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<b>(3) Oklahoma City Thunder vs (7) Dallas Mavericks - Rekindling Lost Glory</b></div>
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<i>Oklahoma City won regular season, 4-0</i></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The old and the new collide on their way to a common goal</td></tr>
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What does one expect from a team that has a triple-double machine and a former league MVP? The Thunder have not made a return trip to the Finals since 2010, even if they were billed to be a piece or two away from being a dynasty. The Thunder have done well surrounding their superstars with talent, even if it meant overpaying some of them. They may not have found their 2010 James Harden just yet, but they do have a formidable duo up front in the Beard Brothers, Enes Kanter and Steven Adams, to clean up the boards. </div>
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Kobe Bryant's farewell tour took all the thunder out of the aging Dirk Nowitzki's brilliant season. The 17-year vet fueled his team's run to the Playoffs despite missing the services of potential future franchise player Chandler Parsons and offseason acquisition Wesley Matthews for most of it. </div>
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<b>Why Oklahoma Will Win: </b></div>
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Both Westbrook and Durant would be difficult to contain alone, and even if they try, both those guys will still get their shots up by sheer determination. </div>
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<b>Why Dallas Will Win:</b></div>
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The Mavericks have weirdly been a great team playing at home, figuring in a number of comeback victories while playing in front of their home crowd. They don't rely on a single player, as different people step up when they need them the most. That's not to say that they don't have a crunchtime player; they still have Dirk Nowitzki, and he's been playing like it was 2007 in some games. If he can somehow sustain that level of basketball, they may just pull off a surprise against the Thunder. </div>
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<b>Why Oklahoma Will Lose:</b></div>
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They still don't have a third scorer, and Serge Ibaka has not made much of an impact this season to be their third star. </div>
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<b>Why Dallas Will Lose:</b></div>
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Aging and recovering legs are playing for the Mavs, and they lack the scoring and playmaking at the forward spot provided by Chandler Parsons. </div>
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<b>Players to Watch Out For:</b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;"><br />Dallas needs Deron Williams to channel his Utah self and be more than just a serviceable point guard. For the Thunder, Cameron Payne could potentially steal Dion Waiters' minutes and be a more effective two-way player at the other guard spot. </span></div>
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<b>Logical Prediction:</b> Oklahoma in 5</div>
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<b>Hopeful Prediction:</b> Dallas in 6</div>
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<b>(4) LA Clippers vs (5) Portland Trailblazers - Defying Expectations</b></div>
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<i>Los Angeles won regular season, 3-1</i></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The smallest guys on the court would play the biggest roles for their teams</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;">The Clippers nearly lost DeAndre Jordan during the offseason, until the drama ended with him coming back. Despite their mostly intact core, they struggled to win against contenders this season season. While losing Blake Griffin to injury didn't affect them as bad as people thought, his altercation with a team staff put them in an awkward position. </span></div>
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Losing four of their five starters in the offseason usually means a team was destined for the lottery, but the starter that remained wouldn't have any of it. Damian Lillard played out of his mind, and the Blazers found a dangerous combination with him in C.J. McCollum and suddenly, they aren't in a position to build through a high draft pick. </div>
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<b style="background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;">Why Los Angeles Will Win: </b></div>
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They have the talent, and they have been here before. They built their team aiming for a championship, and any result below that would be a disappointment. </div>
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<b>Why Portland Will Win:</b></div>
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Nobody thought the Blazers would be in the Playoffs, much less a fifth seed in what has been a competitive Western Conference. Yet, here they are, set to play the Clippers. They have no business winning, but they won anyway. I don't know how they did, so I can't explain how they could, but they probably would. </div>
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<b>Why Los Angeles Will Lose:</b></div>
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For a team built so well, they lose always seem to mess up when it matters. </div>
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<b>Why Portland Will Lose:</b></div>
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They lost four of their five starters from last season. This is the same reason they should not have won a playoff spot, so I don't know if that's enough reason for them to lose here. </div>
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<b>Players to Watch Out For:</b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;"><br />Maurice Harkless was a talent the Orlando Magic was reluctant to part with, and while he has been on the bench for most of the season with Portland, he carved out minutes for himself during the latter half of the season. Look for him to play a more prominent role with the Blazers. For the Clippers, Blake Griffin's return would be a huge boost for them, but they would need Jeff Green to play a more prominent role off the bench if they want to finally get over the hump. </span></div>
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<b>Logical Prediction:</b> Los Angeles in 4</div>
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<b>Hopeful Prediction:</b> Portland in 6</div>
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voltzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296000979681112106noreply@blogger.com0