A blog I’ve been meaning to write for the past couple of weeks. It should’ve been done as soon as it popped in my head, but I didn’t have the chance to write or post it. Anyway, here goes.
Eventually, we got around to talking again, tried to tie loose ends. She’d like to have me back in her life, as I would her, but a couple of factors came to play, at least for me. One, I thought it was unfair to her, if I came back to her after an episode with another girl. Two, I thought about what people might say. And yes, though I should be the last person in the world who would probably think that that matters, I actually thought it did.
I wanted to completely move on from my episode before I can truly pursue Che the second time around. I didn’t want to have my mind drifting away thinking of another person if I was with Che, so though we were in good terms, I didn’t want to ask, I didn’t want to move to another level. The other thing that was pulling me back was what people thought. It mattered now, because my pride is on the line. I said before that I wasn’t going to be getting back with Che, and at the time, it seemed so sure. Now, my pride didn’t want to eat itself up with those bold claims.
But then it came to a point where I just cared for her more than I could care for anyone else. There was just me and her. I wasn’t stalking anyone anymore; I just wanted to know what was up with Che’s YM status. I wasn’t waiting for a call anymore during lunch; I was just interested in knowing if Che ate hers already. I wasn’t looking forward to going home early to go online for Skype; I was thinking of ways to pass the time so that Che might notice I’m still in the office past 6:30PM and might think of asking me out for dinner (or find it as an excuse for me to ask her out).
Ultimately, we got together simply with this dialogue:
Che: Meron!
Me: Sino?
And just like that, we’re back to where we were before. Probably a little more grown up, but definitely with more open eyes.
And so, here’s my take:
Everybody’s looking for their perfect someone, the ideal person. Most of the time, these people who search for that being are those who are labeled as NBSB if they’re attractive, and, well, you don’t label the ugly ones, you just say “oh.” This is their best answer to the question "bakit wala ka pang boyfriend/girlfriend?"
Well, I’ve got news for you. He/she doesn’t exist. That perfect person is only perfect in your mind but never in reality. With time, you’d realize, he/she isn’t anything more than any other person you could’ve been with. You search for the ideal person, and might turn out as who you pictured him/her to be, but as a couple, you probably wouldn’t be able to stand him/her.
I said this before in Che’s debut, and I’ll say it again; she is not my perfect girl. She is anything but. She’s not the chinita, petite, fair-skinned, (slightly) chubby girl that I had pictured in my mind. But she is, I think, the right girl for me. We have our differences, true, but we can live with it. We know what the other one needs and what the other doesn’t. There are irreconcilable differences between us, but aren't there in any relationship? After all, we are two different people. We can’t have the same wants, needs, opinion, and attitudes. We just have to work our way around it to get to what’s important: the person to love, detached from all the worldly worries.
As there is no perfect person, there is no perfect relationship. Any relationship, no matter how smooth it may be, can always be broken off if one of the parties involved decide that it’s not working anymore, when one of the parties decide to lose hope that the relationship can work. No relationship can sustain itself. People in it just have to make it work.
And we both want to make this work. We've made it work before, and we are confident that we can make it work now and in the future. We're not a perfect couple; we may not epitomize the ideal for each other, and we may have different opinions about stuff, but we feel right for each other. And that's what matters most.
And so, eating my pride and my words declaring we won't get back together, I say here for all you readers to read:
I love you Che, let's make it work.
For you, non-believer, for you who doesn't like the idea of us back together, just live with it. After all, you may not be living a perfect life yourself. I like this. We like this. You don't matter again. You have your opinion, but then, we'll be the ones who are going to be together, so, leave your "expert opinion" to yourself.
I don't care if you think that I/she deserves better, what matters is that we feel right for each other. No one can dictate who's better for who, because like I said, it's the people in the relationship who make it work. For our relationship, your opinions are as useful as a jacket in the summer; it's handy to have if the cold weather decides to mess up the sunny skies, but normally, it can be buried beneath all the summer clothes.
For those who liked the changed relationship status, thank you. For those who didn't, I'm sorry that you're disappointed, but I'm not sorry that we made us happy.
