...losing, being lost, and having lost someone...

wow.. a loser-post... and using "lose" in three contexts...

Losing the Big One

Watched the second game of the UAAP finals...Live at that... Yes, it was a Thursday, but I managed to get out early from work... My dad similarly had a lame excuse to his boss for him to get out early and get the tix, while my uncle was a bum, so he'd be there in a heartbeat... My aunt gave us 3 upper box b tickets, which were good enough... At least we were there... And no, it wasn't freakishly crowded... They said Araneta didn't sell SRO tickets... We were with my uncle's rotary friend and his sons, all of whom just recently came back to the Philippines after a staying in the US for so long...

Ateneo got all the individual awards, with La Salle getting what we thought were "sympathy awards" just so the La Salle crowd could cheer for something (Head and Shoulders Crucial Stop? FEU should've won that, being that they were responsible for making the Final 4 happen)... Interestingly, Joshua Webb gets named to the all-rookie team, but never got minutes during the crucial La Salle games (I think even vs. UST)... I'm not saying he should have because he was good, I'm saying he should have because he could bring something to the table that Ateneo did not prepare for... Anyway, onto the game:

Rabeh gets called for a questionable first foul on the very first possession, then later on gets called for a defensive foul, which set the tone for either a truly bad officiating game all throughout, or a scripted finals orchestrated by THE MAN himself, Commissioner Chito Narvasa, who during this season headed nothing less of a "fair" league... So La Salle jumps to an early lead, with the outnumbered La Salle crowd getting into a frenzy.. They get to 8 points by 6 minutes left in the first, but they finish that quarter with 10... Rico starts too feisty, as expected, what with Baclao posterizing him at game 1... He finally gets one over Nonoy, an undergoal stab resulting from a face-up drive from the opposite side of the court from where he delivered that stab... Nonoy actually went up for that shot, which made it all the more greatifying for Rico, and he probably said a thing or two before runnng back to their court... From what I saw though, it was Rico and Nkemakolam bumping each other while running down the court... Yet, it resulted to a Rico tech.... Not a double tech... I don't know... People watching TV won't know, as it was TJ Manotoc mainly calling the shots there...

Anyway, jumping to the third, where La Salle made a run to cut a big 15 point lead to 6, Rico gets called for another tech for "flashing the 'dirty finger' at Rabeh"... Again, no one would know... Except probably an honest answer from the guys themselves.. Then JV gets called for his fourth foul, for something that he did at will during the first half, and that's just about where the game ended... James Mangahas didn't try to be half as aggressive to the basket as he was during the July 17 game against UST (which aired a replay earlier) where he attacked at will...Atkins has not lived up to his potential, LA still didn't make his layups, Walsham didn't grow a brain, Ferdinand was all hyped up in the first but lost steam in the 2nd, and just about everyone didn't want to take a shot without their top two scorers...

For their part, Baclao was just a force all throughout the series... Actually, he was, all throughout the season... He deserves to be the MVP because he was just that damn good... Rabeh is too big for anyone in the league to guard, but developing that perimeter game just made him better... Chris Tiu made his shots... Eric Salamat was just as he was, fire off the bench... Yuri Escueta and Ryan Buenafe were students of the Manu Ginobili School of Flopping... The former being butt-ugly which makes him irritating, the latter being in addition to the former's flaws, talks too much trash for his age... True, he might be really good for his age, but man, trash talking with a face like that? Norman Black gets his first championship after years of heartbreaks...

Now, I don't blame the loss to terrible officiating alone.. La Salle didn't help themselves... I mean, sure the first tech on Rico was dubious, but for him to give the refs any reason to have him kicked out of the game? It was an immature act on his part... Ateneo patron seat holders claim he did what he did, Rico himself says he was merely pointing at JV, while almost everyone who watched on TV, and even The Philippine Star article writers claim that the footage proved inconclusive... Whatever the truth was, Rico should've kept his cool and just played the game... JV waxed hot early in the third but was called for his third foul, which caused him to be benched for much of the quarter... The third was the only time in their 4 meetings that I saw JV want the ball so much because he wants to carry his team, but his 2 1st half fouls and a third foul kept him from being the weapon that he was... The refs were too inconsistent... During the first half, La Salle got so many steals and forced a lot of turnovers on really tight defense which was called clean by the refs... However, during crunchtime, those "clean" 1st half defense turned to fouls... Hence, the FT disparity...

Ateneo deserves this year's title, as they did during the 2006 season when we upset them... They fielded the best team in the league, so hands down, they deserved this win... Unlike 2006 though, no upset happened here...

But will Ateneo really feel they won their title having won it at the expense of their rival's depleted lineup (no JV means no win, add a no Rico at that, and you get a bunch of players dressed in La Salle jerseys) and freakishly poor officiating?

Philippine Collegiate Championship must be a league to watch... I hope rumors are true that BTV will be coming back to Sky Cable...

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"Pasong Tamo Extension" (For the Big Ass TV) and Mexicali

Friday, I went out early to have my dentist appointment, search the net for Philppine Folk songs, go to Sta Lucia, and accompany Che to get her big ass TV from Sanyo... So I picked her up at her office at around 3.30 or 4PM, both of us having no idea where Pasong Tamo was... She mentioned Mantrade as the Sanyo person's instruction, but since she didn't know where it was, she asked people in her office where Pasong Tamo was... Her officemate said we should take Buendia and we'll see a Mcdo somewhere, and we should turn left there... We hit traffic at the end of Buendia, then at some Arnaiz Ave, where Wal Mart was, then some more when we made a wrong turn (due to the stupid Sanyo person's instructions), and finally to cross Mantrade.. Yes, from Ayala, we opted to go through Buendia and circle through all that traffic, only to reach Mantrade, which was 2 turns away from where we came from... A left, and a right at EDSA, and we're there... Stupid Sanyo person can't make it freakin clear. For whatever reason, I don't know. I'm thinking they're bots living in the Sanyo office and shuts down after work hours, and don't really get the chance to look out their windows or office to see what's near... Heck, one of the people even said "Don Bosco Makati? Opo, katabi po namin yan"... I tell you, the distance from Don Bosco Makati to their office is like from UST to Mr. Kebab. Or for people bound for the other side, it's like from UST to Quiapo Church 3 times over...

Upon getting to their office, we were informed that the TV wasn't there yet, due to a miscommunication by the organizers and Sanyo... We're left with no TV, less gas, less time, and uber-frustration... I wasn't able to get back to my office, Che rushed something at theirs, so from what, 6PM I was to wait for her until nth O'clock... With less options for company and in dire need of one, I texted Issa who owed me a Red Ribbon cake and incidentally just got her salary... I said I was just gonna eat a "light snack" because Che was hungry but couldn't grab a bite before getting back to her office because freakin traffic wasted about an hour and a half of our time.. Our light snack turned out to be a burito from Mexicali, an order of jalapeño quesadillas, and bottomless iced tea... I paid for half of the quesadillas and my iced tea... The result = after 5 iced tea refills (Issa had 3, I think, just because they were filling up her glass even if it was barely drank from), 1 quesadilla, and 1 regular burito, I couldn't burp... Heck, I couldn't even fart...

I walked with Issa as she browsed through the closing ukay near Rufino, and walked with her to her terminal (which is not near, I tell you), and walked back to Che's office to wait for her... And boy was it a wait... Good thing my best bud didn't fail me... LED blinking and all, he stayed with me and we Diner Dashed till Che came down before midnight...=P

Oh, an hour of sitting along the steps of the building, I was able to burp already, and as soon as I got to the car, I was able to fart all those gas that remained... wahahahaha....

=========================================================

Losing people

A friend said it was over for him and her... I'm relieved, as I will finally be rid of emo messages... I mean, I can deal with emo stuff, just not with a guy like him...

As for her, I'm happy that she might be happy... "I'm good" is actually a fine answer... At least she's smiling.=)

(In my own small world, I know you know who you are. I just kept your names.)

Tita Violet, Uncle Jun's wife, just lost her dad earlier today... Fondly called "Kabise", he suffered a heart attack this morning and died at the hospital... With all the teasing I got from my cousins about Tita Violet's nieces since we were kids, there were moments (2nd-3rd year high school) when things started to get serious with me and one of the nieces that I was actually paying my respects to him as if he was my own grandfather... He was a fun-loving guy, never really got THAT close to him, but nonetheless, he was part of the big family that gathers whenever an event happens at Uncle Jun's place... And by our book, anyone who we eat with, drink with, or celebrate with, is always a part of the family...

Life's too short...

============================================================

On Ranting

I would love to blog-rant, but it has been a cause of countless bashing and counter-bashing... Hence, I simply have to say what I said for Che's blog:

anything and everything is all up to you and whatever you decide on doing.

additionally, there is no perfect time for anything, just a time that you will decide that you want to jump in and do it... there is no time that you will be happy or contented, just a time that you will be contented, a time that you will be happy.

un lang.

…events and THE game…REPOST!!!

The Accidental Drinking Hole

 

Friday night was supposed to be Peppeton’s night… But early on, I learned that it was gonna be Metrobar for us later that night… And it seemed I couldn’t get out of it, as Kuya Bry pulled some strings to get us some free tickets… But I was going to be meeting with Che, and she was bit under the weather… Probably not “a bit”, she has bad cold… And she had a headache… So I asked Kali to try to convince one of the people not to go (i.e. itext na binomba ang probinsya kaya kelangan bumalik), so that we wouldn’t have to buy a ticket for Che… When all were said and done though, we weren’t able to come because of Che’s condition… but since I was set on going out that night, I called up another one who cancelled all his “appointments” that Friday night to free himself up for Philo Peppeton’s night, Bebe/Papa Rey (bebe kasi baby steps, papa dahil papalicious. Wahahaha)… Xempre iba na pag twin brother mo si John Pratts, busy ka talaga… Anyway, initially, we were to go to Kebab, but Che didn’t like persian food (gusto ko un korteng tae sa Kebab na papaliguan ko ng garlic sauce… yum.. kaso ayaw nya eh…) so Rey suggested we go to Kalye Juan, which was located at the end of Tomas Morato, at the building where Ratsky’s is… We got there first, but there wasn’t any parking space… I wanted to go to the basement, but there was a car blocking the way… so I drove on, and found a signboard that read “Tony’s”… As we drove by, we saw there weren’t too many people, so we decided to go there instead… What we found was a gem of a place… Ambiance was really good, there even were sofas there… Lights were good, slightly dim, but bright enough to have you see your food well, speaking of food, it was good too (though it takes forever before you get your food), and to top that all off, it’s not that expensive (145 for a full meal which has chicken/liempo + java rice + juice + soup. There was a 108 meal too!), even the beer was relatively cheap (30pesos per, a bucket would be 180, which is weird, since I thought buckets must be cheaper than when you buy it per bottle)… So we ended up drinking, and Che finishing 39 of 40 levels of Rey’s iphone game… Benjo dropped by to rave about Sitti…

 

And he wasn’t talking about how good she sang…=P

 

But that was all Benjo could share with enthusiasm. Di pa kasi ready magkwento eh. Wahahaha…

 

 

Wanted: Driver for Weekend Events

 

How much? Nada. You do it for the sake of “utang na loob sa pamilya”. I just happen to have a driver’s license and that’s it. My dad brought me along to my cousin’s kid’s christening (binyag para sa mga mangmang na di makakaintindi) reception at the same place where Ged and Arrah held their wedding reception… Funny, my cousin is 27, so I thought, yeah, he’s still a gamer… Guess what name he christened his child with: Aeris. Can’t have a doubt in one’s mind that she’s a gamer’s kid…

 

Wanted to visit Che in the afternoon or even late afternoon, but I couldn’t, as I needed to drive my dad across the metro for errands… From Max’s, we went to Sta. Mesa, for him to withraw, pay back the Volkswagen guy and actually get another VW part for our currently-being-rebuilt-for-the-nth-time Beetle (but man, I promise you, as soon as it is built, I’m gonna find a way to gloat it to everyone… its not gonna be passenger friendly, as we’re not going to put back the back seats to make room for heavy speakers for all the assholes driving around their SIRs in full blast and shit, but its gonna have lights on the “shell” which covers the tires, lights by the pedals, speakers everywhere, more red, an 1800 engine because of tune up [up from a 1300 engine], better looking engine [stainless for everything not painted red or yellow] and just overall sheer beauty that you’d want to get yourself one), went to my uncle in Road 6 to get the lower box tix for THE game (I could’ve sold it for 10k apiece, but they might see that I’m profiting from their freebies, so nevermind…:p), then to Mindanao ave to buy a compressor for the aforementioned Beetle (compressor wasn’t broken. Just looked too big. We found a smaller one all for the name of aesthetics) before dropping by to my aunt’s house where they were playing the family-oriented (well, at least for our family) gambling game called Tong-its…

 

Eventually, I got to visit Che that night and said we could probably go together the next day (Sunday) to Chelsea’s birthday (Chelsea’s the “asim” kid in my video section), which was set in the afternoon, since the basketball game which was supposedly set in the morning wasn’t going to be… we ended up watching MMK at its finest with John Lloyd and Alessandra de Rossi playing the lead roles… Call me cheesy, but I do think both play their parts well in any movie/series… Especially John Lloyd… But no, Chris Tiu still tops my list of man-crushes… Nah, Chris Tiu’s the only one on that list… Still, ayoko pa rin xa magchampion… It’s gonna suck not to be him if that happens…

 

 

Sunday Birthdays

 

Birthday ng kapatid ng lola ko. My mom was like “ano, so ndi ka na sasama sa min?” to which I could only bow my head and shut up… when I went out, my dad just said “mag-ayos na kayo para dun na rin tayo magsimba”… So then, I couldn’t say no… Again, I was the designated driver, and Che had to go to Chelsea’s birthday without me… While driving, my aunt calls and offers a patron ticket for THE game… I just had to get it… Yet after a bit of text-arguments, I chose to let my aunt give it to someone else… and it NEVER feels good when you give up something everyone’s dying to get… I tried to enjoy the time we spent with everyone at my lola’s sister’s birthday, especially the times my lola’s only brother (their eldest, and whom I have just met that day) was taking hits at my dad… It was freakin hilarious that a guy as old as he is can take digs at every one of them…

 

I ended up dropping my mom off to the LRT station, my dad and uncle to the game, and dragging my cousin along to Chelsea’s birthday…

 

There, I watched the game like I always do (animated, loud), in a more tame manner, as it wasn’t my house… Beer and VCut were perfect companions for the game… Too bad the Blue bastards got it…

 

THE Game

 

Thanks to the Detroit Pistons, every basketball fan was reminded that “Defense wins championships”… That’s how they beat the star-studded LA Lakers during their championship run… And though it is too cliché, it was defense that won it for both teams yesterday…

 

La Salle has always been known to be a guard-oriented team (this from my uncle who was on the losing end of UST’s 4-peat back in the 90’s) which is why the press works so well for them… The only time La Salle played like they were going to win the game was during that time they were choking the hell out of the Ateneo guards in the backcourt… Full-court press at its finest saw Ateneo bungling about 8 possessions during the 1^st quarter alone (ok, it wasn’t a steal for each of the 8, but turnovers due to the press built up a huge chunk of it), and is largely the reason why they took their first and only lead at 29-26…

 

Ateneo, on the other hand, is known for great recruitment… There was an Olsen Racela and an LA Tenorio who came out of there, and you have bulky bigs, or effective inside presence players in Enrico Villanueva and even Paolo Bugia. My point is, while La Salle is known for producing guards, Ateneo is known not only for bigs or guards, they just have a knack for getting quality finds… But for this season, their team is just too good… You have Chris Tiu and Jai Reyes shooting the lights out, Ryan Buenafe having his shots fall, Rabeh Al-Hussaini manning the middle on both ends of the floor, Nonoy Baclao knowing where to be on both ends of the floor as well, and swatting balls as if he was a volleyball player, Eric Salamat having perfect timing for steals, breakaways, and even spins, whether by himself or spin on the ball to make impossible shots go in (and add his swagger to boot), and the bench with even the foot-ugly Yuri Escueta providing quality minutes off the bench… With all that said, Ateneo’s defense for this season is mostly anchored on the Al-Hussaini-Baclao combo… Player drives toward Rabeh, Rabeh goes for straight up D, then as player launches the ball, a Nonoy Baclao comes from out of nowhere to swat your shot away…

 

7 blocked shots by Nonoy Baclao. La Salle can’t rebound. Rabeh is too big to be defended, and gets his way on just about anyone… Jai hit his shots when it mattered… Salamat is just Salamat, playing with energy, swagger, and impossible-shot making… Mike Baldos stepped up in the absence of Nonoy Baclao (early foul trouble), maybe not in terms of defending the basket, but surely on the rebounding side of things… Heck, even Yuri Escueta had a relatively good game, sans the turnovers when pressed… Ryan Buenafe stepped up during the 1^st half when no one on the Ateneo side was getting their shots in… Kirk Long even made an appearance… Ateneo did a great job spotting open players on the weak side and even from beyond the arc…

 

 

On the other side, Walsham may be able to put a body on Rabeh, but as far as IQ goes, err… Ferdinand can’t catch the freakin’ ball when he needs to… When he does, he can’t even decide what he’s supposed to do… By the time that he does, Baclao’s right there to swat the ball away… He should be the OJ Cua of this season, the person no one expects to come up big but does… Jason Webb isn’t getting off the bench for reasons I don’t know, but I’m really not counting on him that much… JV had a better game than he did during the previous 2 games against Ateneo, but everyone else who stepped up during his absence went AWOL during this game… Mangahas and Atkins got into early foul trouble, but so did Tiu and Baclao… The only difference is the Ateneo reserves stepped up, while DLSU reserves didn’t… I can’t get Coach Franz’s coaching style… He takes someone out as soon as it seems the player is waxing hot… LA Revilla is a blur and gets past everyone on the floor, he just can’t finish… Rico had a gallant effort as well, but he takes too many outside shots… Sure, he makes it here and there, but that’s not supposed to be his game, considering there isn’t anyone else on the team who’s as committed to rebounding as he is… Badir Malabes had a sub-par game... PJ Barua took too many outside shots as well, but didn’t even make a single one, save for a long jumper by the elbow… 

 

Looking at the game, La Salle is forced to take long jumpers because of the fear of THE Nonoy... They got a lot of open shots, but the shots just ain’t falling… Ateneo is just too dominant inside the paint on both ends of the floor, and La Salle just doesn’t have the bodies with actual brains to match the Ateneo big men… La Salle can certainly offset that with stellar guard play, but Revilla has to put his shots in… Atkins, I think, is gonna be a Chris Tiu of tomorrow: not athletic, but good looking, has decent skills, and could carry his team... But as of now, he’s nothing but a good-looking, slow guard who can’t even penetrate if his team’s life depended on it…

 

Ateneo will win the series if they go on doing what they’re doing… Bench stepping up in the event of cold shooting or early foul trouble for starters, Baclao being the anchor for defense that he is, Rabeh hitting his hooks, Tiu and Jai making their timely baskets, Salamat giving off energy and swagger off the bench, and Buenafe backing up his trash…

 

La Salle on the other hand, will win only if:

 

1. Walsham and Ferdinand suddenly remember they have brains they could use.
2. Casio will continue his strong game 1 performance
3. Coach Franz will let someone actually get hot, and not keep the person in until he is, then take him out because he’s hot.
4. LA Revilla learns to use the glass properly for his lay-ups.
5. Use the press as well as they did during the 2^nd quarter.
6. Rico gets support on the rebounding department.
7. Ateneo learns to miss free throws and open shots that La Salle seems to enjoy giving them.
8. They stop bombing threes every time they get the ball.
9. They learn to pass AT THE RIGHT TIME and not at the last minute that the ref didn’t call a foul.
10. They learn to use the perimeter.

Ok, so La Salle has a lot of shooters. And they can’t slash inside. So, logically, for them to score, they have to shoot outside… Since an outside shot is never sure, they prefer to take it on the 3 point line so that it’s gonna be a high-risk/high-benefit shot… Since they shot a horrible 1/9 or more in 3 point territory, can’t they just try to wax hot nearer the basket? Then if they get hot, try shooting further and further away? Shooting 3’s is only good when it goes in. And since they haven’t played a game to show that they can actually get it to go in, they have to try to make short stabs at the basket.

 

C’mon, let’s go La Salle!!! Spoil Chris Tiu’s “perfect” life!!!=P

 

THE Talk

 

This was not part of the original document. It just so happened that it happened today while I was still writing this. I was told that they like me here, and would like to extend my contract for a longer period of time. But that’s the most they could do: give me a seemingly permanent job, but not a regular employee of the company. Why? Because this is a multinational company. And whatever the region (Greater Asia) says goes. And the region shut down marketing for the Philippines, as all marketing stuff would be handled globally/per region. Meaning, I am of no use here actually, for the people up there in the region. But as it seems, I’m indispensable for the people here. Sure, they’ll do fine without me. But the thing is, I do a lot of stuff they wouldn’t normally expect from someone in my position, that is make logical storyboards for whatever proposal they have for a client, make presentations within a set time limit, consult good merchandise/computer buys, troubleshoot basic computer problems, create flashy presentations and product designs, and more stuff I wouldn’t mention as it would seem like I’m gloating. It’s just that I live by what Don Bosco taught: do ordinary things extraordinarily well. With this mantra sticking to your mind, it’s no surprise that people would love how you do your work...

 

Now the dilemma is, they want me here, but they are saying that I won’t ever be directly hired, and will always be through a third-party company. Now, they are willing to let me go if I want to pursue other opportunities, but the thing is, I’m a philosophy graduate looking for a job not fit for Philosophy majors. Where the heck am I going to get a job if not this one?

 

I don’t want to study again, because I don’t know what course I’d like to follow. I want to write. If I get a job at BTV or heck even NBA, in any capacity, I won’t even complain the slightest bit ever again.

 

But whatever job willing to take me in, I’ll take it… I won’t even complain… I just want to be like any other working person, enjoying the benefits of a regular employee, not thinking about a contract ending, and being able to file a 2 or 3 day vacation if work gets too stressful after what, 6 months or a year of working there… I want to be stressed because work’s taking its toll on me… I’d probably rant about that if that happens, but knowing how it feels like not to be stressed, I think I’d rather feel otherwise… At least, in being stressed at work, I know that my skills are being maximized.

 

Not like this.

 

I’m a marketing assistant for a multinational company which doesn’t even have a local marketing group. Hence, I’m the only one in the department, if such a department existed. I get along pretty well with people, but I can’t even have lunch with them at the canteen, as I don’t know who to sit with, because everyone has their place here: reception people, janitors, managers, account executives, IT people, accounting people…. Notice the plural form for each… I’m the marketing person. Singular. No place here. No one of the same age even, not of the same age group… 2-5 year gap is probably OK, but more than 10years? Man… Some of them were trying out making babies while I was learning multiplication!

 

I just want a job which will give me a regular position when they see me deserving of it, a job where I could have people who I could hang out with, a job where I’d feel they’re paying me for doing what I’m doing, a job where I’m not the only one in my department…

 

 

 

 

 

 

…I just want a place I can belong to…

...names, names, names....

PM PM pa... eto na...=P

Rule: List all the names you were called by and the people who call you that. Tag at least 10 members of your contacts and give a comment on their site for them to know they've been tagged.


Rudolf... first name pag binasa ang pangalan... nun kinder binasa ng teacher ko pangalan ko, so nagstick na sakin dahil di naman ako lumipat ng school until grade 6... kaya elemetary friends ko "Rudolf" ang tawag sa kin...


Rudy...  nun nauso ang mga nickname noon, sinubukan ni Jed Manansala na tawagin ako nito... di bumenta. so pati xa tinigilan kalokohan nya.


Ter... short for "bolter", phonic spelling ng pangalan ko. kapamilya ko lang tumatawag sa kin nito.


Taire... mas maarteng pagkakasabi sa pangalan ko. unang tumawag sa kin nito un ex ko, then nag-carry over sa ilang classmates ko nun college...


Lozada... namestrip sa Don Bosco, ang visible lang un surname mo, tpos first letters ng name mo.. so ako si LOZADA, R. V. C. na maaaring tawagin ng lahat na "Lozada"...


Bossing... dahil mahaba mukha ko at payatot ako nun high school, tinatawag ako nung mga classmate ko na "bossing" in reference to Vic Sotto... nun una naaalibadbaran ako... pero habang tumatagal, parang ok din... di naman masama ichura ni vic (nakadagit pa nga pia eh), tapos "bossing" ang tawag sa kin kahit nun mga siga sa classroom... kun ndi mo ma-gets agad na pinagttripan lang nila ko, iisipin mo para akong "gang leader" dahil lahat sila "bossing" tawag sa kin...


Voltz... pag di close, surname. pag mejo close na, first name basis na... dun nagsimula ang "voltz", na nag-carry over na till college...


Kuya... tawag sa kin ng mga nakababata sa kin (duh)..  eto rin ang tawag sa kin ni che bago maging kami and about a year and a half into the relationship....


Tulugista...  walang pinipiling hindi tutulugan... high school, 2nd row, gitna, tulog. ilipat sa ibang upuan, tulog. college, mapa harap, mapa likod, tulog. pero marunong sumagot pag tinanong...=P


Potchi boy...  muntik ko na makalimutan.. grade 3, class Dao, wala akong baon pera... mei 20pesos lang ako... 20pesos na gagastusin ko lahat sa potchi... supplier ako nun eh... nag-evolve nun tumanda ako, lalo nun high school.. pero di na potchi boy tawag sa kin nun..


Perfect... ganito eksena nyan eh:

Me: pota ampangit nun mukha. ang baho pa.
person: perfect ka kasi eh... gwapo, mabango, ano pa ba?

normally, tiklop na un iba pag nasabihan nyan, mahihiya sila at nagcomment pa sila.. pero ndi ako... ang sagot ko talaga:

me: o nga. perfect ako.

para lang mei dahilan pa  rin mang-asar... hehe.... yan tuloy tawag sa kin ng ilang college friends...


Mr. President...  never was. pero sa puso ni manong agnes, ako un. at sa ilang taong mangmang sa mundo ng pulitka sa ab pero kaibigan ko...


Destroyer...  tanggalin ko na un "the" kasi ang "The Destroyer" si rudy distrito pa rin... ayoko ma-copywright... tawag sa kin ng classmates ko in reference to my basketball "defense"... kung sa red bull, "ang bumangga, giba" sa kin naman "pag bumwelo, patay."


Volter/Golder...  as it is spelled. para lang kei peter. nagrereklamo eh. the latter is for people sa starbucks, david's or kahit sang nagtatanong ng pangalan mo... 


Bebeh/Beh...  ndi. anlaki laki ko na. "chubby" pa nga daw eh... but this name has grown so much in me that i don't even care if it sounds too mushy for some... it's the sweetest name that i'd be called... and only one person calls me this, my own "beh", che...=)


now it's your turn!!!

Che
Imon
Tracy
Kali
Ate Fleur
Rey
Issa
Esme
Robert
Lis
Ate
Gersh
Pamers
Kuya Ags
Dipa
Job
Ainj
Pao Agulto
Josef
EJ

(xempre tiningnan ko un mga tumitingin ng blog ko kaya anjan pangalan mo.. hehe..)

gusto ko mei pm ng link para makita ko... matagal nanaman ako di makakamultiply neto eh... hehe....

...fine lines and andi9...

no no no... i say andi is fine, but i'm not talking about her when i say "fine lines"... just wanted to make that clear.... wala ako maisip na 3rd topic for title eh....

Maliwanag pa sa Sinag ng Araw

where do you draw the line between "heresay" and "personal experience"? as it seems, everything my dad knows is "heresay" to which even the court of appeals judge would say "ang lumalabas kasi eh para kasing scripted yung nangyari kei jun"...

"maliwanag pa sa sinag ng araw" na walang kidnapping na nangyari. define kidnap. does it have to involve the kidnapped party to be "hurt"? ok, so he was "secured" by the police "at his sister's request", a "request" made by the police, "signed" by my aunt... heck, i know how she writes... she doesn't write the way that letter appeared...

oh sorry, i was lamenting personal experience, personal knowledge... was that "heresay" because i was only told by my aunt that she never made a letter of request?

how do you defend yourself in court when all that you have with you is personal knowledge and personal experience? how come the lawyers can "defend" their side by saying "eh gumawa nga ng request yung kapatid mo eh" when they weren't actually there during the signing? is it not heresay?

who speaks the truth and who speaks pure heresay? how do you draw that line between "truth" and fiction? i know what i know because i am on this side. if i am on the side of truth, how come "they" can still sleep calmy at night, show their faces to the public, or claim praise to words they can't back up? if i am on the side of truth, how come the justice system says that "maliwanag pa sa sinag ng araw" na gawa gawa lang ang "kidnapping" incident?

what is kidnap? what is heresay? what is truth?

i probably know the answer to most of the questions i asked. its just that i want to wonder... and i want you, reader, to wonder with me...

what is it like to be on the other side? is it really that possible to be void of that virtue we call "humility"? and is it really that possible for someone to be that "evil" to distort the truth to save his/her ass? and for those who actually see this "maliwanag pa sa sinag ng araw" side of things, have we really come to this, i mean, believing people who can't even answer simple questions like "san nyo xa dadalhin? sino naguutos sa inyo?" and  the like?

oh shit, i'm getting your sympathy... and you're believing in heresay...

walang korte sa bansang to na maniniwala seio.

======================================

Andi9 and my first time in Magic

bought something for work at robinson's pioneer.... it was around 3:30 i guess... and i thought, why not drop by the magic studio... so there i was, in the heat of the freakin sun, walking from robinson's to paragon plaza (which is not a near walk, especially if you can't walk right after pigging out in lunch, carrying a couple of grocery bags, and with the sun at it's peak), dripping with sweat, but thinking, there's still that end of the rainbow: i'm gonna see andrea manzano, my super crush... chris tiu is only second to her... (crush ang usapan. ilabas natin si che. lampas na xa sa level na un)

so i went in the building with all the lamps.. "dito po ba un magic?" tango un guard. sulat ako. went up to 9th floor. naligaw pa ko. mei nauna sa kin:

guard: sir, san po kayo?
guy: uh, RBO tickets?
guard: sandali lang sir ah, tawagin ko lang...
guard: (bumalik na) pasok na po kayo sir... (looks at me) kayo po sir?
me: uh.. wala lang... pwede ba un?
guard: sige sir, sulat lang po kayo jan...

wrote in the logbook, and stood there, as all 4 seats were occupied by 3 people and a bag... when stood there looking at the blurred image of joey (dahil sa logo ng magic sa salamin) and andi's back... when everyone left (outside, at least), i got to sit down... just looking from the outside... joey was giving some weird looks... andi occassionally tries to look to where i was (where people normally were)... then this guy walks up to me, apparently, he recognized me as a senior back in AB... nakakataba ng puso, knowing someone actually remembered me despite losing my last run for office, and a relatively quiet, personal, 4th year life... he's from asian studies, by the name of justin, from the graduating batch... (wow, suddenly it pops in my head, they were my favorite classes back when i was an officer, both asian studies classes... those were my favorite rooms to visit back then, 105 and 107, i think, tapos BES, who were in 109 and 111 in the morning. so that's why he probably remembered me..) so we talk a bit, and i waited for him... when he was done, guard comes up and says "pasok kayo dun sir" to which i could only say "pwede ba?"...

as soon as justin finished his business there, i told him we have to go in... and on we went... as soon as i got in the booth, carrying my stuff, i was still exhausted... apparently, the time i spent sitting down there wasn't enough time for me to recover... so here's the scene:

joey: hey!
suzie: hi there!
andi: (with her pa-cute way of saying it) hayee!
me: (raised my finger as if to say something, but let out a sigh instead and sat down)
joey: o, parang pagod na pagod ka ah..
me: naglakad pa po kasi ako eh... galing robinson's pioneer... ang init...
suzie: o nga, mainit nga, bakit mo naman nilakad?
me: pabalik na kasi ako talaga dapat sa office, pero naisip ko dumaan muna ko... because this is one of 3 shows that i'd like to visit on the magic, at dahil lang un seio (pointing at andi)... yea men!!=P
andi: (laughs) waw naman! (apir)

oo kapal ng mukha ko. oo kadiri. oo pota di pa ko nagsshave. oo dugyot ko na sa init at pawis. pero ilang beses lang ba mangyayari sa buhay ko un na nasa harap ko na si andi... demmit. wala nang pakialam how it would appear. basta masabi ko. though it was all for fun naman... with a face like that, she must be used to weirdos/stalkers/obsessed fans like me... so during a break, i asked her:

me: did you ever go to FEU?
andi: no. i'm from miriam. always have been.
me: ah.. kala ko lang kasi..
andi: because of the uaap?
me: yeah.. nagkaron kaya ako ng reason to watch FEU games because of you... yea men!! bolahan na!!
andi: (snickers)

i was with a couple of other kids in the booth... during another break, justin asked about that bet andi and joey had a couple of months back, where if joey lost, he'd have to shave his head, and if andi lost, she'd have to wear her uniform coming to work... i remembered that actually, but i forgot for what it was... then justin reminded me, it was about the corniest joke, and they had to have people voting for them... whoever gets the most number of votes is safe... i remember joey lamenting then that andi had everyone texting up to vote for her, so i know that joey lost... and andi just can't stop laughing.. even if they went on air, she was laughing... she gave credit to us (dapat kei justin lang, xa naman nagpaalala eh.. but since we came in together, they figured we must've dropped by together talaga) on air for reminding her of their bet... joey dared andi to show proof (apparently 4 of us and a couple of callers weren't enough..) of that bet ever happening...

anyway, i didn't want to leave, but since i wasn't gonna come to work tomorrow and i have a couple of things due, i had to still go back to the office.. it was 5pm... they just finished tallying the votes... and i had to go.. but i had to take a picture of andi with me... i borrowed justin's phone (better camera) to get a pic of her... but it hanged.. so i had to settle for my crappy VGA camera... but it's all good.. =P

crappy camera is always better than no camera...=D

btw, joey was as much fun as seeing andi... facial expression when stupid callers call was always hillarious... might come off "suplado", but really really fun... with a fun voice to boot... (just thought of giving the guy love.. it is, after all, a show by joey AND andi...=P)

...breaking a curse...

i have never watched a live game this season in which the team i rooted for actually won... the one time my team won while i was watching was when DLSU won over UST... the bad thing is, i was rooting for UST then... so, understandably, i didn't want to watch the game earlier between DLSU and FEU for the first finals slot when my aunt offered me tickets because i might be the one jinxing it... but then i did...

by halftime, my aunt texted me: "if your hunch is correct, pwede ba FEU na lang i-cheer mo, alma mater naman ng nanay mo un eh"... to which i replied "if we lose today, i will fold up all my game day outfits, and will just watch on TV. but then, its still just halftime.:)"...

i was freaked. i thought DLSU was on its way to a sudden death match with FEU... they never led the game until the 3rd, when they led by 1, but was quickly taken away... they always chose bad shots everytime they were close. and the FREAKIN' REFS JUST CAN'T CALL A STRAIGHT GAME!! Ferdinand was just stupid under the basket, save for the couple of times he got offensive boards and putbacks... Barua had bad shots... Casio can't make them... Rico just can't stay out of foul trouble despite limited minutes... LA is fast, but he has to learn to finish, i mean, he can be blur to everyone on the court, but he has to make that lay-up...

at the way DLSU is playing, it looks like ADMU is going to run away with it... or should i say, ADMU's gonna swat all of DLSU's hopes for another championship away from them...
=======================================================
Cosmo Men and Wall-E

ayoko pumunta sa event na pupuntahan ni che... it was cosmo's "bachelor bash"... imagine, FHM's Hot 100 party, only instead of hot girls parading in skimpy outfits, you have to watch 69 men parading in their boxers/briefs... so no, i am bent on not going... but it was Sept. 11, and i had to see che that day (it was half of our bi-monthly celebration of our relationship, the other half being the 29th) and i didn't want her going home all alone... so i decided to look for ways to pass the time... i thought of texting tracy (since she's in the makati area), and hang out with her while waiting for che's event to be done... tracy was all go, since she was bored at work and it was too sponteneous that she actually like the idea... Wall-e was the chosen movie to watch... and it was a fun movie... especially the short film that played before it..=P

after the movie, che texted me, yet again inviting me to the "bash"... and since i really owed tracy for agreeing to go out on such short notice (i texted her in the morning), i thought i'd do something nice for her and invite her to the bash (malandi kasi eh.. wahahah.. joke) as che advised... game naman xa (xempre.=P)...

upon getting there, one thing i realized was that there are more fags than there were women... hence, the scariest part of the bash, for me at least, was going to the comfort room...

fun moments:
1. saw raefel. knowing the guy, and seeing him on stage was just hillarious...
2. macky escalona. guy was arrogant as hell walking on the ramp, motioning to his head, probably wanting to say "this body is nothing compared to what's in my head", but nobody really understood him... then he takes a ball, sandwiches it with his hands para maangas, but then all it did was bounce off his face... if that wasn't enough, he dribbled the ball, only for it to bounce off his foot and roll away from him.. then people wonder why he's benched by Ginebra? heh!
3. Kenny Rogers buffet. guest list sila che, so we got into the VIP section.. gotta love their work.. anyway, people in our section were treated to a free Kenny buffet... it was the best thing that happened that night...
4. old ladies. we were in the VIP section, as mentioned... these ladies were right behind us, a barricade separating us because they were at the "regular people" section...and for the whole show, they were complaining, even grabbing my shoulders for them to be able to get a clearer view of the men... gusto ko na talaga sabihing "menopause na po kayo. mahiya naman kayo sa balat nyo."

anyway, again, i thank tracy for the impromtu movie, the company, and most especially, the gas... =P haha...
============================================================
Direction

i don't know what to do with my life. i don't know if i want to be a writer, a lawyer, a teacher, or whatever. basta. i don't know. i think i blogged about this before, na nakkainggit un mga batang nagsasabing "gusto ko maging doktor!" pag tinanong kun anu gusto nila paglaki nila... at least, they know what they want to do in life...

so i opened the topic to che... it was kind of a sensitive issue, as it turns out, because there were some things that we touched while discussing the topic...

one line that struck me (which isn't actually new, she said it before): "dahan dahan naman. anlayo na ng hakbang mo eh. di na ko makasabay."

the discussion ended without one understanding the other. she can't understand me. i can't understand her. but both of us have to adjust to the other, now that we both know how the other feels (somehow)...

because at that time we talked, i realized, i do have direction. i do know what i want. i want to be a family man. and in that family, i want her to be the other half of me. we might want different things, but at the end of it all, we both want to be together.

it doesn't really matter if we take different directions, as long as we reach the same goal... and that's what matters to me...

that we have the same goal...
================================================================
impromtu session

imon, rey, che, bettina, and later on benjo, esme, and jerry had an impromtu session, again, in imon's words, "to celebrate life"... it's fun, maybe it could be a weekly thing (rey? imon? wachu say?=p tayo tayo naman present parati eh, well, so far) and maybe it could culminate into a grand party by mid or early october... initially set at Cantina, rey goes on and decides a place for us... as it turns out, he chose it so that he'd be Popular Boy all of a sudden with a whole table actually his friends pala... benjo came in late, but still i got the chance to throw in some wiseass jokes at him (benjo: ako na hahatid kei che? me: ready ka na ba?), so it was still fun... esme and jerry came later, with esme being a savior to my alcohol-craving self (can't buy too many beers, only had 200pesos in my wallet), buying another round for all of us..  so i had a grand total of 2 pale pilsen beers, when i could've only afforded 1, i think... jerry was there to show me my car that i told him to take care of (joke lang. nangangarap ng gising) while i didn't feel like using it...

salamat sa oras ng mga taong andun... salamat bettina, at naglaan ka ng ilang oras nang iyong pag-aaral para makasama kami... salamat benjo, dahil kahit "nakapatay" ang phone mo eh nakarating ka pa rin sa min... salamat imon, dahil malapit ka sa Cantina, at iyon naman ang una nating "celebration"... salamat rey, dahil kahit baby steps, nakakarating ka (pero tangna ka dapat dna tayo lumipat.. wla tuloy bucket).. salamat esme, dahil sa beer... salamat jerry, dahil wala pang gasgas un kotse ko... at salamat che, dahil kasama kita.:)

sana madagdagan naman sa susunod (oo kalayaan. ikaw tinuturo ko.)... tapos, sana naman magparamdam na ang mga nasa malayo kun kelan balik nila para malaman kun kelan pwede magkaron ng matinding salo-salo (oo bert at aby. kayo un.)...

dapat magkaron ulit tayo ng reunion na malupit, philo... mei mga pera naman na un iba eh...:p

... trying to be gilbert ...

(initially, i didn't have a title for my blog... then as i was gonna try to do something about how i do my blogs, i thought, why not give tribute to the guy who i'm gonna try to mimic the style from; gilbert arenas. haha... so, this is gonna be relatively long, detailed, and a lot of side comments from myself... much like how i narrate in person... difference is, mei topic dito..)

i wanna write something, but i can't... my life hasn't been that eventful... but something about blogging and writing whatever soothes me... so...

DQ and company policy

che and i sat at the lower box of araneta during the cheerdance competition (with reserved seats, a couple of rows below the judges... take that upper a to gen ad people! whahaha.. evil amp...=P) which at first i thought was bad, because i always love to talk, but im not too knowledgeable about cheerdance stuff (they said UST's bit was so-so, i actually liked it because it was fun... i actually hoped UP would lose because they had a couple of minor falls) so we wouldn't be able to talk about anything much if ever... and the energy is what you come to live games for... if you can't shout your heart out, why the heck would you go live? anyway, no regrets, we had a great view, we were together, and that was all that mattered...

oh, the heading... so, there we were, both craving for a DQ Blizzard... went there, ordered a KitKat Blizzard because it was new, and che ordered a Ultimate Chocolate Blizzard, i think it was... then when our order arrived, it was served like they served iced tea or something... naturally, i asked "ate, bakit ndi mo binaliktad?"... so she did, on che's order... with mine, which looked really liquidy, she said "sir, kasi po baka matapon eh"... exactly my point right? so she just said she'll add some more of the white stuff there, which apparently was the stuff that makes it not spill... manager comes up to me and says "sorry po ah, mei syrup kasi eh.." to which i said "ok lang" since they were going to do something about it...

lo and behold, she comes back with an overflowing cup of my order, still not served upside down... so here goes the conversation:

me: "hi, still not served upside down... does that mean i get it for free?"
manager: sir, di po ba inexplain ko na kanina na kaya ganyan kasi mei syrup?
me: uh, oo nga, pero di ba dapat you serve it upside down or its free?
manager: oo nga po sir, kaso di ba mei syrup nga?
me: o nga, i get it, but it's all over your place, "served upside down or its free", di ba?
manager: sige po sir, bigay ko po sa inyo un.
me: eh panu un, nagbayad na ko?
manager: (leaves the counter, gets a cup, whips something up)
crew: sorry po sir, di po kasi kami makarefund, bigay na lang po kami ng isa pa
me: eh dalawa lang kami eh, 16oz to, sobra naman na sa min un isa pa. anu gagawin ko dun?
manager: (hands me a new ice cream) pasenxa na po sir ah?
me: (baffled, takes the ice cream)
person behind me: what happened? di nyo na sineserve upside down?
crew: po?
person behing me: so sira un machine, do we get orders for free kasi ndi xa served upside down? (apparently he saw the whole thing where the people served it to me twice na ndi upside down...)

we left with a bunch of people behind us. probably for satisfying their cravings. or it may be because they thought they're gonna get freebies...

unless they ordered a Chocolate KitKat Blizzard (which sucked by the way), they would't get their freebies...


Back to Back

Congratulations to the UP pep squad for such a strong showing... i heaved a sigh of relief when they fell twice, but it wasn't enough for UST to steal it from them... they had such creative and "wow" moves that i could just see them bagging the crown midway through their performance...

Ateneo actually looked good...well, i didn't see their performance... i was waiting for a wardrobe malfunction, as che pointed out that their tops were way too high and at any point might come off... (too bad there weren't any..) for the whole performance, i was way too distracted by their uber-white bellies...=P

NU apparently has a new slogan, or whatever it is you might call it... they put up signs saying "attitude" "spirit" and "breed"... in the end, they had a big banner saying "NU Attitude. NU Spirit. NU Breed." (i may be wrong on the first 2, but i'm sure about the last..) first thing that came to mind was "watdahel? breed?"... then it hit me... a conversation would best illustrate my idea:

person: (looking at a jologs person picking his teeth at a restaurant) eew. grabe. so jologs. walang breeding.
jologs: (looking at person) wow. seio pa ko nakarinig nyan. grabe naman. breeding. ha! ano ako aso?

ok. so apparently, it didn't best illustrate what i wanted to say. but anyway, you go figure. sabi ni che ang sama ko daw eh. if breeding = aso, then breeding = bulldog. ayus. then their "NU Breed" makes sense after all...

Missing YM

its been 2 days, and i haven't logged in to YM yet! i'm actually busy in the office... it's the busiest i've been since i've been there (which started late january) and i'm not complaining... it's just that i miss my norms... no more occassional "bebeh" and smiley from che... no more random babblings from tracy... no more dissing peter... no more drama from imon... no more pex links from bert... no more basketball topics to talk about from dipa... no more long-interval messages from issa... no more random links from maje... no more out of the blue stories from my homesick sis...

anyway, at least im doing something... at least i feel that im working for what im earning...

On Drinking, yet again...

la salle lost to ateneo last saturday, so my uncle and i did our usual Rasa post-game drinking session (and a new, but welcome post-game dinner at dampa with food that practically made me tap out)... after i took che home, ej calls for an overnight drinking session (well, half night, probably. we got here by 12, were done by 2 or 3 i guess)..i mixed something up, ej and i had to finish it, issa opted not to drink, saying she had to go home by 6am... next day, after the cheerdance competition, che, rey, and i, among others, were invited by imon for dinner near their place... drank a couple of beers too...

it's liberating, i guess, to talk when you drank alcohol... again, this is not promoting it... it's just that, even if you barely get a kick from what you're drinking, you can do stuff and blame it on alcohol... i got a chair from a table filled with ateneans while wearing my green "go la salle" shirt and even talked as if we're friends, thinking "they see me drinking, they'd probably just think that i'm drunk"... on the overnight session, i got to scream at every surprising event at the horror flick we were watching, while i could always blame it on "nakainom na kasi ako kaya mahina na ko sa ganyan"... and on sunday, i could argue that there were some stuff we talked so openly about in front of che, which we wouldn't have talked about under normal circumstances...

drinking is an escape.. it's an excuse to do stuff you won't do under normal circumstances... it's an escape to be something that is not you...

...on living, drinking, and understanding...

a cat has 9 lives... i was born year of the tiger (1986) if i'm not mistaken... so let's see just how much lives has rubbed down on me:

1. grade 2: i was riding my bike from a classmate's house... we played SNES, when mortal kombat 3 was the coolest thing on earth... of course, being a kid, i wanted to drive fast, despite knowing that i didn't have brakes... at one point, i saw a huge field-trip type of bus making a turn toward the other side of the road i was taking (which, as i was in a village, was half of the road) while on my side of the road, there was a parked tricycle... i don't have brakes, and i'm too near the tricycle to try to stop... hitting the bus kills me, hitting the parked tricycle would injure me, and might actually kill me... i did the best thing anyone could do at that point...


i closed my eyes... i opened it upon feeling a bit of heat on the left side of my face... akalain mong nagkasya ako sa gitna ng bus na kumain ng isang buong linya at tric na kumain ng 1/4 ata ng linya...

2. summer heading to 3rd year high school: rode a jeepney with my sis from i don't know where... was heading to marikina... upon reaching Ligaya (it was dead heat of a saturday afternoon, and snail-moving traffic), about 4 men hung on to the end of the jeep (sumabit sa likod, para sa mga mangmang), and i was sitting at that end of the jeep... they went down, only to come back again, with one even saying "wag dun, mei kalaban dun eh"... this was a guy wearing a crappy shirt, but had a collared shirt on his hand.. me, believing in the natural goodness in men, didn't think they'd try anything... trying to sleep, i felt someone suddenly trying to grab my phone (pag pumasok ka ng jeep, nasa dulo ako, kanan), a 5110 which i put on my right pocket... i looked at him and he had a piercing look in his eyes... i looked down a bit and saw a piercing object pointing at me, a 5-inch balisong right on my stomach... my sis woke up trying to plead to the person not to do anything... me, i lifted my left foot, all the while thinking "pag sinipa ko, tatama xa sa tao sa likod nya, di malalaglag, sasaksakin lang ako, patay na ko. pag di ko binigay telepono ko, sasaksakin nya ko, patay na ko. pota. hirap naman. gusto ko naman ibigay telepono ko, kaso mali kasi paghatak nya, baka isipin nya, nakikipag-agawan ako. peste. labo naman. ganito pa ko mamamatay..." i don't know how long that took. a man near the driver side suddenly stood up, took out a file (file tawag namin sa mechanical shop dati sa don bosco. pang karpintero), and moved to try and defend me...


the men went down, cursing. didn't get anything, but came away clean.


3. Bataan swimming, around the same summer, if not the next: im not the best swimmer in the world.. my sis and cousins can attest to that... but at the beach, with me being a kid, thinking i can do anything, agreed to my dad's officemate who wanted to cross the beach by swimming... i thought, why not... its about as far as from metrowalk to galle ata, or from españa to dapitan and a half ata... ewan.. basta, matatanaw, but not actually that close... but hey, mei breathing naman, so why worry? so i tried... almost halfway, i felt tired... but then i kept going... then, di na kinaya... i wanted to rest... i stopped... but i couldn't step on anything... i was too tired to try to float... i panicked... i wanted to shout... but i lost too much air to shout... i was so helpless... i was drinking water... i'm shouting but there's no sound...

almost drowning, i was thinking "ang yabang ko kasi. tanga tanga naman ng pagkamatay ko... di na lang ako nakinig kei ate... hay... baduy.." my vision was getting blurry... i could see my sis and one of my dad's officemates heading out to save me... i was losing hope that they could actually get to me in time... and when they did, i needed just a little push to get to a spot that i can actually reach, as in less than a foot away if i tried to make a step to the right, which makes it more pathetic, knowing i could've died with safety less than a foot away...

4. 2nd year college, che's debut: got my license the previous summer... asked my mom to drive her crosswind (which, at the time, was around 6months and a couple of days old) to be the service for the guests... had a memorable night, didn't drink a single drop of alcohol knowing i was gonna be driving the guests back to uste... but i didn't get back to sleep... 5am, people asked to go... i took them home.. sleepy going there, but managed to take them safely (well, to those who were sleeping the whole time) thanks to a bottle of C2 apple bought at ministop sta mesa... going home, it was me and che... still sleepy, but i have my c2.. che was sleepy... i told her to sleep.. she asked if i was sure and if i was ok, i assured her i was.. so she slept, meralco ave, right in front of meralco, waiting for the traffic light to turn green so that i could go to rosario... drank the last drop of c2... and then green... it was my last memory...

next thing i know, the car was bouncing around somewhere... after the turmoil, we stopped... sat back, looked at che, who was shaken up, and could only say "anung nangyari?"... all i could say was "shit! kotse ng nanay ko!!"... checked the spider-like crack on the windshield and examined the center... got some hair.... "ang tigas ng ulo ko!!"... "ok ka lang?" i asked che... "ok lang.. tumama lang tuhod ko sa harap"...


car was a total wreck... i didn't drive for a full 5 months i think... wasn't able to sleep that day until i was checked out in the hospital... they said i was ok, but i wore a neck brace for a couple of days, i think...

6. sometime this year last year: got invited to a birthday bash of one of my good friends back in ICT... thought it was a real get together... turned out, there were only 4 of us who got to meet up... i drank with family before i went there... i got there (somewhere in retiro) at around 12:30am i think... drank a couple of beers, and went home... to be safe, convoy... driving the red anfra with dark tint all over.... it was around 1am... from españa, we made a u-turn and took a right going to e-rod... my friend on the other car was playing and honked his horn. i knew it was him, but the light was red. then he honked again. i get irritated if i get honked on... so i went on, the road was clear anyway, and it was around 2am i think... i didn't see the road was under construction... i hit a steel barricade... i stopped, but was too late... it fell straight at me... it broke the windshield... they helped me pick it up... we were thinking what to do, but we were all stumped, knowing we can't report at our state (having drank and all)... so we drove slow from there... the hole in the windshield started out around 5inches in diameter, i think... by the time i got home, half of the windshield was on my lap....


7. last summer, i think: drinking at my aunt's home, i decided i wanted to come home for dinner... i did.. ate some, then headed back out... as i turned the corner, i looked at the front rim of my bike, as there seemed to be something wrong.. next thing i know there was a car right in front of me... i hit it... yes. i hit it... it was parked... salpok mukha ko sa likod... nakasuot ako salamin, my frameless glasses... needless to say, basag salamin ko... bad thing was, nun nalaglag un salamin ko, isa lang un kamay... the other, stuck on my eyebrow..

that was the most blood i lost in my life... i didn't have a cellphone, my bike was too messed up to be ridden, so i ran back home... bloodied and all... blood dripping wherever i ran...


so... out of 9 lives, i got 2 left... i'm thinking of risking one for bungee or sky diving...=P

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i drink not because i like alcohol... it doesn't taste good... meron "swabe" but it doesn't mean it tastes good as in juice-like good... but ask me to drink out, i would...

i like to drink, but i'm no clubber nor party boy... if i came with you, i'd choose to stay by the bar or by our table while you dance your heart out or flirt with anyone you choose to...

i don't drink because i love the feeling of a hangover the next day, because i don't...

i like to drink not because i like alcohol running through my system... i don't drink to try to solve my problems because i know it won't...




i drink for the interaction... i drink because you are there, because we can talk... because you are not afraid of pouring your heart out... because you can laugh at the stupidest jokes..

i'm not alcoholic... i don't drink by my lonesome... there's no reason for it... i drink to talk... i drink to listen to someone talk... i don't drink for no reason... it's always to talk...

yes, you can talk even without alcohol, true... but i don't know... there's a social bond you form with people when you drink...

i forgot the latin term, but there is such a phrase that says "in wine, there is truth"...

i'm not inviting non-drinkers to drink. but hopefully, non-drinkers would understand why i do...

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no amount of time can possibly make men understand women and vice versa... it just isn't possible...

...songs, expectations, and my slowly shrinking world...

songs are great... they say things you want to say when you can't say them... one sees songs as an escape from their own reality... one almost always attributes a song to a particular event or person just because they think its' words are so fit for the day's events or that person they can't stop thinking of...

it may be a line or a whole song, but almost always, a song gets to you... whatever genre it may be, sometimes you'd wish you were the one who uttered those words... to be called a genius, to be known for being the author of a very effective line, to sweep a girl off her feet, to make a person feel what you genuinely feel...

wla lang. songs... galing lang... how a mere play of words and a little tune can take you somehow out of your misery to some extent...=P

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sabi ko sa tatay ko, mei pupunta classmate ko na mei problema sa babae. nun paalis na kami, sumabay si classmate, at kinausap ng tatay ko...

dad: papakasal ka na?
imon: di po, inaayos nga po un gustong pakasalan eh..
dad: ah.. dalawang bagay lang naman yan eh, pakasal ka ng maaga, para mura pa gatas... pakasal ka ng late, mahal na gatas... mas mabuti, pakasal ka na ng maaga para pag singkwenta ka na, mei tutulong na seio sa pag-aalaga ng mga maliliit mo pang bata... hahaha (tatay laugh. the loud type)

i want to live my life. if there's one thing i want to do in my life, its to choose what i want to do, when to do it, and how i want to do it... i have simple hopes (after my hopes of a political career was crashed by bad college politics experience, philosophical idealism, and personal life struggles with actual government, compliments of that little person they call president): have a family, have a place i can call my own, have kids who i can provide for, have my own car that my family won't take public transportation whenever we go out, and have a decent-paying, fulfilling job... it's hard to save up, what with my habits and all, but im thinking, hey, at least im saving up for myself.. then my dad comes up with this conversation...

crap. just what i was thinking... i knew it... that's why they kept pushing me to have my own business, that even after my dad retires, he still has a source of income for the two kids... that's why they're pushing me to find better paying jobs, so that i can provide not only for myself, but also for the 2 kids, in the future, after my dad retires... that's why they're pushing me to pursue Law or any further studies so that i can find these opportunities for higher-paying jobs...

damn... why can't i work my ass off to the top like any hardworking fellow would do? why can't i worry about my future and not of the future of 2 "mistakes" i didn't even commit? why can't i try to plan my own life?

i think i want to study. i think. but then again, i won't. as it is just another excuse for me to be "grateful" to him, and thus make me obligated to "provide" to those kids after he's retired...

and i thought che finally taking the 5-year pressure off me was a great sigh of relief... i realize 5 years is about the same time my dad's gonna be retiring... talk about numbers...

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blogging, i realize, that though i do know a lot of people, only few matter to me... thus, if i make blogs, its almost about the same people... and everytime i hear my phone beep, i know almost every single time who is responsible for that beep... i think it's a good thing, because at least i maintain an intimate relationship with these significant people, but i don't know.... it makes me feel as if my world is shrinking...

its a rant. i don't know if im complaining or if i actually don't care... i just wanted to  throw it out there...=P