...mom-sis issues, driving instinct, testosterone overload, etc.....

So i decided to give up stuff as sacrifice for the Lord. It's a sacrifice for the Lenten season. Giving up eating is not enough, it seems, as it helps me from bulging up my belly even more. Ok, so I wasn't able to give up meat last Friday, as I felt so weak after the whole day, and it would probably kill me if I didn't get proteins into my system before drinking.

Still, at least I've kept my abstinence intact, as I am on day 5/40.

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Profile Pic

Changed my profile pic. I have a headshot-worth pic on Pat Damaso's phone, but I have yet to recieve it. Hence, I settle for awesomeness.:p

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Stuff You Shouldn't Worry About

Ma: Hindi nyo ba kakausapin si ate? Wala ba si ate sa YM?
Me: (online) Huh? Wala po.
Ma: Hanapin mo. Sa Skype ba wala? Online ba xa?
Me: Wala nga.
Ma: Bakit ayaw ninyo kausapin si ate?
Me: Huh? Eh wala naman xa eh.
Ma: Ung computer kasi dito sa taas sira eh. Job, subukan mo nga ayusin para makapagSkype.
Job: Wala naman po video card eh.
Ma: Ndi ba gagana kung walang video card?
Me: Wala. Kasi dun nakakabit ung monitor
Ma: Kayo talaga, nasa malayong lugar na nga si ate, wala pa sa inyong kumakausap.

Babasahin mo naman to 'te. Let it be known right now that it is kinda sad that you're not here, but at some point in our lives, we'd be living on our own right? So this is a matter of moving on. We can talk, we do talk if there are stuff to talk about, and that's the way it are. If there are stuff happening around us, we go there and not bury ourselves into waiting for someone to go online. Hence if you're not busy, and is homesick, you're probably online. If not, then you're probably out doing stuff. So I don't worry about you. You're a big girl (and when I say big, I'm not talking bout tall.. haha), and you know what you're doing.

Ma, on the other hand, worry too much about stuff she doesn't need to be worrying about. And she's frustrated that everybody's not as anxious as her with regards to these issues.

I love her. But there are times that I don't know what she wants.

Kagabi, sabi nya "puro kamalasan" yung araw nya. Nasiraan kasi ng LRT. Nun tanghali, sabi nya mei babae daw umupo sa inuupuan nila, tapos order daw ng order. Maya-maya lang, dumating un asawa nun babae, kapatid pala ni lola. Pansit lang kinain ni mama ah. Eh eto ngang si Papa Boy, umorder para sa kanila at umorder pa ng take out. Mauuna aalis sila mama, tapos nung magpapaalam na siya, sabi ni Papa Boy, "wag mo na bayaran, ako na bahala dito. Waiter, un kinain nila, sa kin mo na i-charge". Kasi naman pala, kilala na sila dun, kasi madalas daw sila dun kumain. So naisip ko, panu naman kaya naging kamalasan ito?

Yun naman pala. Ang makulit kong nanay, pumunta pa sa counter at binayaran ang pagkain. 1.3K lang naman. Yun naging halaga ng pansit nya. Halaga na ndi naman dapat na inaalala pa nya, pero pilit nyang ginawa nyang problema. Hay.

May mga problema kasi na nandyan na sa harap natin, at yun ang mga problemang dapat harapin natin. Ito'y problemang naidulot sa iyo, o posibleng idinulot mo. Hindi mo kailangang ipasa sa iba ang problema. Pero mei mga problemang ndi mo naman talaga problema, wag mo nang kalabitin yun problema at magpapansin pa dito.

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Testosterone Overload

Che's out to Baguio for an event, and I'm left with nothing on a Friday. Just as I was thinking about it, Imon texts me to say him and Benjo are going to meet at Piging. I considered that, but looked for options. I called Sop, but she had to be somewhere. I was chatting with Issa, but she was ultimately undecided (Man. That was the most indesiciveness[spellcheck] I've experienced this year.) on going or not. Eventually, because of the flow of traffic, I decided to just go on with the on-off-on again Imon-Benjo drinking session @ Timog. That's why I ate meat. Demmit. Kaya nga ayoko uminom eh. Gastos pa.

Pero ok lang. Masaya naman. The three of us eventually got more company in the person of Jonathan, Marella, and Carine (tama ba spelling? di ko xa makita sa facebook.). Jerez was unexpectedly sitting a couple of tables back, with the guy who he says Ged is no match for in DoTA. I'd love to get to play with him. Or watch him play. Di na ko marunong eh.

Anyway, that was Friday night. Last night was another Che-less day, and I spent it getting my teeth done (pasta on 3 of them), and drinking with uncles. Again, it was fun, I lost Tong-its, but I won Lucky9 at the end of the night.

I realized that as much fun as I had, there seemed to be something missing. I guess too much testosterone going around the air isn't as fun as having some estrogen around the area. Bro Code Articles 56 and 71 speak of this chick-bro ratio.

Broetry Corner
One Bro makes a solo attack,
A second Bro provides a crutch,
A third Bro rounds out the pack,
But a fourth Bro is one too much.

So I see why I enjoyed Friday (4:2, or 2:1) better than Saturday (5:0).

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Growing Driver

Back in 2nd year college, I crashed our car in Ortigas. I fell asleep on the wheel. It was Che's dubut, and she was with me. Thank God we incurred no serious injuries, but it took about 4 months before I was behind the wheel again. It was a matter of ego, and people's trust.

Anyway, I feel now that I've grown as a driver. If I feel sleepy, I stop and close my eyes a bit.Or I open the windows.

But last Friday was a first for me, in the sense that it was the first time I felt even my unconscious is taking care of the car.

I was wasted. And sleepy. It was a tiring day, but I can go home. I knew I still could. My mp3 was playing in the background, and I was singing songs while drving with my window down. Then my last memory was that of me turning left to go inside our village. The next thing I know, I'm gently stepping on the brakes because I saw a truck blocking my way.

Sabi ko sa sarili ko "tanginang truck to ah. Gabing gabi na meron pa rin".. Before I could honk my horn irritatingly loud, I realized the place was familiar.

It was our house. That was our truck. And it's always been parked on the road. Deym.

Still, my foot stepped on the brakes. My Guardian Angel has got his work cut out for him.

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Fantasy League

It's getting harder and harder to catch up with Kali in the NBA and I can't get over the fact that I have Dennis Espino and Ryan Reyes in a lineup and they're going to be sitting it out for the Realtors. Freakin Ryan Reyes also got injured this early last season, which is why I dropped him immediately. Badtrip pa rin. Good thing I went with Yeo on my other team.

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Possible Opening

One of our account managers, Ms Cindy, who's always been the person who loaded me with work, is moving to Shanghai. It was a promotion within the company, I think. So I guess they probably need another person? Or there's a chunk of money in the payroll that's waiting to be spent on someone. I hope that someone is me.

Well, naturally, I first hope the chunk of money is there..

Amusingly, Sir Johnatt, who sits around the same area (imagine dividing a bond paper into 4. Top left is Ms Cindy, top right is Sir Johnatt, bottom left is scanner, bottom right is me) told me that he's going to move to Ms Cindy's place. Of course i thought that was weird,especially because it's an almost pointless move. Then he told me that our boss didn't want that to happen, which again, I found odd. Then he explained, "mei 'curse' kasi si Ms Tess dyan. Lahat daw ng nakapwesto dyan, umalis"...

Then I stopped, found a great idea and smiled.

"Uunahan mo ko no?" was Sir Johnatt's candid comment.

...Sinong Best Friend Mo?...

(originally part of my previous blog... pero nun humaba na, hiniwalay ko na)

Listening to Boys Night Out (Mon-Thurs 6-10PM on the Magic) the other day, they had this topic of "sinong best friend mo?".. Then it made me realize, how do you become a best friend of someone? If you have a best friend, does it necessarily mean that you are the other's best friend as well?

It's long been an issue for me, claiming that by saying one is your best friend, it doesn't follow that you are his/her best friend as well... Thing is, because of everything that has went through with you and your friend, you find him/her as being your best one, but don't feel bad if he/she does not feel the same way for you. After all, there are other people in their world.

Still, it made me think about who my best friend is. And this might turn cheesy, especially if you're reading this and you see your name. Still, I'm going to write this down for you to know that you are my best friend. (Mei explanation sa gitna)

Grade School to High School

Back in grade school, I had playmates in Don Pio Esguerra (wonder whatever happened to him), whom I play Power Rangers with in Olvera Park, with the twin slides. I was always the Green Ranger. I forgot who he was. Red? I constantly go to their house to play SNES back in the day... At some point, I think we had a falling out, him choosing to be more of a geek (he was the valedictorian of our batch) and me choosing to be... a Power Ranger. haha..

Then there was Christopher Quioge. The guy was a nerd, he was smart, but he knew how to have fun. And fun was all we had. He left after 5th grade, and is now a hot commodity in where he is now. I barely know him now. No more of the nice-guy nerd, now it seems to be a bad-ass punk. 

Mario Dy-Lliaco (may he rest in peace) was always my boy. Since the power ranger days to the Mortal Kombat on PS1, he always rode with me on my bike. We played sega at their place, burned catterpillars, and played from house to house. He was such a great guy, and he left for Australia. He came back but even before we could catch up, he died. And I wasn't there. I didn't know.

Then there was JV Cafuir, who I don't know if anyone remembered. He introduced the band "Ultra" to me. Ok. It was a boy band. We lived in our own world and closed out everyone else. But it didn't last as long as we thought.

I had my first actual barkada in grade 5, when I was with the fearsome foursome of me, Vincent Dote, Mark Catungal, and Sergei Fabregas. And the honorary member of our foursome was Nothello Sales. Anyway, we were such headaches in 5th grade that our adviser broke us up in 6th grade. Each one went to one section. Sergei and Mark (Sergei being the most behaved and Mark being the naughtiest) were put in one class. But that was the end of us.

I met Eman Ontangco and that was probably the longest friendship I've had with a person. I visited my grade school when I was high school and he was the guy I was always with. All crazy fun. But as the years went by, I knew less and less of him, and we eventually became reduced to people bumping into each other on a Sunday mass.

High School Days

New school meant new friends. But I never had anybody to claim as my best friend. But there was this one guy, John Paul Palomo, who was my seatmate back in 2nd year. He asked me anything, from classroom notes to girl problems (like i was an expert or something. i was a nerd, demmit!)... We had a whole tropa of misfits, me being the most behaved of the group, and we all decided to take the less-effort majors for our final 2 years: computer or drafting. Unfortunately, they all failed computer. And all of them went to drafting. But JP was most appreciated because of a line he told me on one of our joketime/serious moments: "pare, kung ndi kita katabi, ndi ako papasang 2nd year." Half meant, half joke.

Then during my final 2 years of high school, I grew close to the class. I had Gilbert Flor who was a bully, but was a pretty emotional guy. I hated him. Until recollection when we all opened ourselves up. He was the first guy to talk to when it comes to serious stuff.

Now here's where I draw a line. Up until this point in my life, none of all those people nor did I, ever claim that we were best friends. But then there was Gershwin Zabat. He was my brother. Not my "bro". He was a brother. Almost a brother from a different mother. I went to their house for no reason, or for school reasons. We hung out in times of need or for just hanging out. We talked seriously when there were serious stuff to be talked about, and we joked when there's not reason to be serious. He was my best friend. But I don't know if it was appropriate to claim that.

How did I figure out that he was my best friend? Well, there was one time I either bumped into him or something, and I introduced him to whoever I was with, saying "____, si Gersh nga pala, best friend ko nung high school"...

But as it seems, he stays that way, "best friend ko nung high school". After high school, though it was the time when I actually thought of him as my best friend, we rarely got to talk. Heck, I was one of the last people who found out he was going to be a dad. Though he is my best friend, it seems now that I'm trying too hard to insert myself into his life, trying to know who he is, or who he has become, when there's a whole other world he has built his life unto.

It's not that he's no longer my friend. It's just that, he's not that kind of friend I would've wanted him to be. I'm happy for the guy, and I still have college to write down..:p

College and Now

I was a boy who kept pushing myself into extracurricular politics and was lovesick during college, so I never got to have that one friend. I had my time with Budz Felipe, but I don't know, we just eventually went our separate ways. By separate, I don't mean no longer friends, but we're not as tight as back in early 2nd year. We were the PE Tag Team duo.

I have Chanchan Cruz, who took care of me in the council and in the party.

I have Kuya Ags, who has and continues to be the padre de familia and chairman of the board. And though madami nang hijo, at least I could still keep the title of "first". haha..

And then there was the classroom. When I lost the presidency, I had big things in mind. But DOTA changed everything. And it was the start of everything. Imon Olgado, the old guy that he is, has in effect, become my best friend. This is one guy who I can communicate telepathically with. I mean, we could laugh with a whole room of people not knowing what we're laughing about. He was/is my DoTA-mate, my basketball-mate, and my prank-mate. He's got his flaws, sure, (and big, they are) but still, he's my "bro".

Upon graduating, and organizing reunions, I got to bond with other classmate (oo Robert, kasma ka dito) but among them, the next best friend I think I have is Kali Quiñones. He's the serious-type of guy who I share valuable insight with. There are stuff he justifies that I think are wrong, but the way he justifies it makes it seem he's right. Which I like about him. It's like debating with myself. Well, to my mind at least.

Amidst all the male friends I have, I have a "bro" type of friend in Issa Sandoval. I didn't know how to classify her. She's a person who I have a conversation with randomly about anything, and there are times that she uses me as a "portalet", which actually later on becomes a two-way advice portion about current crap that's happening in each of our lives.:p Then, thanks to the genius of the awesome Barney Stinson, the Bro Code comes up with a provision that states "a bro need not be a dude." And I think that's what she is. "Not a dude". Wahahaha.. Plus I got 2 slaps on her. haha.. Sucker.:p She bet against THE gambler. Hah!:p Till our next slapbet.:)

And last, but not the least, my bestest best friend would have to be Rachelle Anne Marcaida. We've been through the best and worst times of our lives, together and with our own personal issues, heck we even died together in a car crash. I get irritated by her, but still, at the end of the day, I just want to know when I'd see her again. She'd have to be the person that knows me best. If your mom is getting jealous of someone, you know that that person is a huge part of your life. And unlike the previous friendships I've had in the past, I wish that this one lasts more than just a phase of my life.

 

This lengthy blog was made, inspired by the Boys of BNO, but most especially to let the people I've mentioned know that I consider them my best friends. Para kung magkabanggaan tayo somewhere, I could introduce you not just as a mere acquintance, but rather, a "best friend".:p para wala nang gulatan tulad ng nangyari sa min ni Gersh.:) And, it became lengthy because it was fun to reminisce the people that have been a big part of my life at one point, and try to remember how it faded... And it gives me this chance to thank them all for being a big part of who I have become. Anjan pa man sila o wala na, close pa rin o ndi na, at least at one point, we were tight, and you helped me go through what I did during those times.:)

...shopping, abstinence, jologs in a theatre, and fantasizing...

Feeling ko andami ko na dapat isulat. Pero sa ngayon di pa pumapasok sa isip ko lahat. Sa tagal kong ndi nagbblog, feeling ko marami pa... Pero sa natatandaan ko eto na muna.

Women and Shopping

Seriously, how many shoes does a girl need?

I have a couple of pairs of shoes, one for formal occassions, another for casual attires. I don't even have playing shoes. Both of my shoes cost me less than 1k each. And yes. They are both crappy. I'm thinking of buying a casual cross-training shoes for the rugged walks and at the same time I could have shoes to use when there's a surprise invite to play ball.

But Che? She has like 3 pairs of shoes that she bought while I was with her, and a couple dozen more when I'm not with her (a dozen is exaggerating, but you get the point), yet still, when we go out, she always wants to stop by a shoe store.

How much clothes do women need?

I have about 7 polos (2 of which mine, the others hand-me downs from my dad) which I could use for work, 3 long sleeved shirts (which i use on 3 days of the week if it's super cold and my jacket's in the office), and about 6 collared shirts to my name which I don't normally use. I have a pair of pants which are sometimes used by my bro (well, it might be the other way around), and I change pants every 3 days I think.

Che, on the other hand, buys clothes everywhere: from ukay to multiply. I don't even know how it fits her closets. Her defense is that she's not the only one using the clothes she buy.

While that is true, Che's not the only one with a shopping problem. Heck, there's a book and a movie about it.:p and I'm sure 3/4 of the population of the working female (read: who earn their own money) will be guilty of shopping too much. Grabe kayo.:p haha...

Prioritize needs. Women seem to create needs out of wants. Example: girl buys dress for office. it's too bare, so she decides she needs a bangle or something. Then it would seem that the shoes she's wearing or any of the 15 pairs of shoes in her closet for that matter doesn't look right for this dress, so she NEEDS to buy shoes for it. And when all is said and done, the hair does not sit well with the whole get-up.

Needs out of wants.:p Love you beh.

Cheesy Film + Inday's Crew = Disastrous

Watched "You Changed My Life". It was fun.:) Ang daming cheesy lines na magagamit pag tumawag ka sa Brewrats ng mga bandang 10:30.

It's a sequel to their first movie that I can't remember the title of as of this moment (ang dami kasing old songs ang title, kun ano ano nagpplay sa utak ko). The cool thing about it is that they went on with the happy ending of the first movie, and didn't present a conflict right at the beginning. I don't want to spoil stuff for those who plan on watching, so I'll rant about something else.

Ang swerte namin pumili ng pwesto. Nun unang movie, mga die hard John Lloyd fans eh nagtitilian at nakakairita na. Ngayon, naisip ko, siguro ok lang sa Market!Market! kasi weekday naman, tagal pa off ni inday. Pero un amo ni inday na mas jologs pa kei inday, eh nagsama ng tropa. At akalain mong sa laki ng sinehan, naisipan pang sa mei pwesto namin maupo. ndi man lang sa kabilang side.

(uber drama scene in the background)

Person1: Ang galing umiyak ni JL no?

Person 2: Oo nga eh, parang si Aga lang noon..

Person 3: Siya naman ata ung next Aga no?

Person 4: Ay oo nga..

(cheesy away scene in the background)

Person 1: eh bakit kasi ganyan ginawa nya?

Person 2: oo nga eh.

Person 3: sabihin mo mahal mo pa!!

Person 4: akin na lang kaya xa?

(seemingly inspirational scene in the background)

Person1: eh mahal pa nya eh..

Person2: oo nga eh.

Person3: dapat kasi ndi na nya iniwan..

Person4: eh kasi nga iba un gusto nya sa buhay..

 

I say the movie is in the background because as loud as they were talking, you'd think THEY were the movie. There were 6 of them. But since they can't all be on one line, 2 of them sat beside us. But that never bothered me in blurting loudly "buti na lang ndi maingay sa pwesto natin no?!"

Still. It didn't make it all better. So word of advice: watch it at Rockwell. Or wherever it is that looks too classy for inday. No, Glorietta on a weekend is no longer "sosyal". 171 lang reserved seats sa Rockwell. Mei Jolibee pa sa baba. At Breadtalk (mmm..Floss...:p). At ndi gano mahal sa Burgoo. Mei makakainan ka, ndi masama ang presyo ng sine, wala pang inday.

Lenten Abstinence

We all need to sacrifice something for this lenten season. Food is always good, as the priest said yesterday, you sacrfice eating because you are giving up something you need.

But then again, not eating actually works for me, since we have "biggest loser" challenge on... So it's not actually sacrifice. I figured, I'd give up something else.

And after all my sins and habits recalled, I have decided to hold back on the ultimate answer to the ultimate question.

Yes, Kuya Ags, sana next time na matanong ako nito sa Easter, ang sagot ko eh "Ndi pa, nun monday bago mag-Ash Wednesday". Even "Bro" will be proud if I pull this off.

Fantasizing...

Nope, not what you think.:p

NBA and PBA Fantasy is now up. I'm not betting anymore, but this is the closest fun I can get on knowing and reading on basketball stuff. It's gratifying, probably not monetary-wise, but at least I get to feed the fan in me.:)

We have a pbfantasy league going, text/PM me if you'd like to join. We cooked up a prize system depending on how many will join our league.

...from Kyle XY...

this series has me eating on its hand.

guy talk on Kyle having Amanda problems:

Kyle: i don't want to forget my feelings for her.

Declan: then tell her the truth.

Kyle: i can't.

Declan: you told us, why can't you tell her?

Kyle: because, i'm afraid that if she knew the truth about me, she'd stop loving me.

Declan: you've already lost her. there's nothing to lose.

Josh: i don't really agree much with this guy, but for just this once, i think i'm gonna go with him.

Kyle: but.. it seems so simple.

Josh: sometimes, the best solutions are the simplest ones.

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whenever we have problems, we don't really need advice. we know what we're supposed to do, we just want to hear it straight from another person's mouth.

why do we ignore what we know? because "it seems so simple". ayaw lang nating tanggapin na napakadali lang ng solusyon sa problema natin, kasi pag tinanggap mo na ganun lang kadali un, para kang tanga kasi nalulugmok ka dahil dun.

...burnout, kissing ass, ripping pants, FIFA...

the presentation i was working on is finally over, yet i still feel burned out by all of it... probably because i didn't feel a sense of fulfillment with what i did. it was like my boss telling me to "be creative" or "bahala ka na" but when i do my thing, i eventually end up doing nothing but what he wanted in the first place. good example:

Sir Bernie: Volt, marunong ka ba nitong projector? ayaw makuha ung kulay eh.
Me: (tinkers with projector)
Sir Bernie: i-auto mo na lang, mukhang maliwanag.
Me: (presses auto adjust)
Sir Bernie: Yown.

ndi ko alam kung sadya syang nananadya o gusto lang nyang makaistorbo ng tao. pero ang labo.


How to Ruin Valentine's Day

i discovered there are simple steps.

1. wake up late. this way, there would be less time to spend with your date.
2. don't rush things. with such limited time, don't do stuff as fast as you can. it burns time, hence giving you less time to spend with each other.
3. drag date to do work errands. this way, no quality time may be spent together, hence no mushy stuff and all that seriousness.
4. give false hopes. this makes date think that you have everything figured out, and that at the end of these errands, there's a good thing that's gonna happen.
5. drag date to assist in vague work requests. this way, you make date think that date is doing something useful when actually, you're doing something pointless in the first place
6. blame everything on work, and take date home. this is just icing on the cake.

*best done on a weekend. when there isn't supposed to be work.


it's crap i tell you. that is how our valentine worked out. i wanted to have a quiet outdoor walk, probably go to UP to have isaw while doing that walk, then just talk and talk. but nooooo... i had to be "boy diligent" and had to come to work to finish whatever it was still needed to be done. but as it turns out, whatever we did that saturday, i could have done on monday, and it wouldn't make any difference.

nakakainis kasi sana mas maganda pagsasama namin nun araw na un. kung alam ko lang na halos wala rin pala silbi ginawa/gagawin namin nun, sana ndi na lang ako pumasok.

400g Steak = Not Good for Health

i had limited time for a date last saturday because my cousin was celebrating her debut that night in Discovery Suites. my aunt had a headcount of us, and me and job got the biggest meal in the whole room: a 400g ribeye steak. others either had 200g of the same steak, while others had salmon. but me and my bro, we had 400g of it. almost half a kilo. a kilo that could feed a family.

we were seriously doubting our eating capacity about 1/3 of the steak. at about 85% done, i said i couldn't finish it anymore.  that was after 1.5 hours.

i am a huge eater. and me giving up on a perfectly good steak says a lot.

i felt i lost a lot of air in my head at that time. i think all proteins and no carbs isn't really good for you.


Kissing Ass

big global boss in the office arrived today. i had to clean up my workplace because it was in full view of anyone who passes by the workplaces. and it was no easy task. demmit.

there was even a conversation i had with my boss that appeared to me as if she wanted me to transfer to a hidden workplace or something. man.

these suits. you respect them because they're you're bosses, but man, what they do to kiss ass of those higher than them.


Ripping Pants

yes. i ripped my pants. i refuse to believe it is because i am getting fat, but man, it might be a culprit.

i was squatting down looking for some stuff at the bottom shelf of work stuff, when i heard a ripping sound. then suddenly, my butt was cold. when i looked down, i saw my balls. ok. that was graphic. of course i had underwear. but the thing is, i saw that part of my underwear that was supposed to be holding that part of me. and it wasn't a small rip. it was like half a buttcrack. it wasn't ripped all the way up though. but it was big. and i was walking weirdly trying to hide it. but then when i realized it might split when i go up a staircase, i took off my jacket and tied it around my waist. there was nothing else i could do.

FIFA 09

this is bad for one's health. i never thought i'd get "hooked" (pota. ang sama na sa isip ko na gamitin un salitang un.) with this game, since i'm more of a basketball fan than a football fan. but lo' and behold, i don't get much sleep pushing Kaka for goals til about 2am in the morning on a work night.

now i moved on to manager's mode. God only knows how bad this addiction will be for me.
Kwek-kwek Addiction

speaking of addiction, i'm still a floss addict, but now, that's kinda controlled already. what i did? overload with floss for a week.

now i'm trying to figure out if doing that same thing to kwek-kwek, my new addiction, will solve my craving for it. Eggstacy in Galleria is my new haven.

YM Status Messages

"____ is sleeping. do not disturb."
"____ is busy, don't buzz me."
"____ is studying, do not disturb."

'tards, why the hell are you even online if you don't want to talk to anyone? just lay off the YM if you're too busy for anything. that way, no one will surely bother you.

...being spent...

i never thought i'd see the day that i'm stressed out with officework in the same, old (literally), boring office i have now. right now, i'm assigned to 3 different projects of different concepts and 3 different areas (men's fragrance, women's hair care, and various flavor projects such as vodka mixes [great], noodle ideas and snacks)... the flavors part is not that taxing actually, while the others, well, let's just say i get more pressured when they are.

my brain is spent. i go home wanting to hug my pillow and sleep. i go to the office wanting to close my eyes and sleep. squeezing concepts out of my mind is supposedly not new to me, but when then, i try to come up with answers to different philosophical queries [academic or just brain teasers], now i have to come up with names and concepts for these new fragrances. it's way different, but as of right now, since i haven't broken down and cried yet, i'd say philo is one up on this...

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Keeping Your Kids Away From Modelling

[sensitive topic. parental guidance. yes, that means you immature readers must stay out of this part of the blog because you won't know what you're saying.]

so we need models for our presentation. sir bernie's flirting with the girls, and he's trying to push me in doing so as well. ndi ako nagmamalinis. i could sweet talk my way, probably, and barney-up to get laid, but i wasn't raised that way. i know i could, i would, but i don't because i can't. not because i'm bound, but because i'm me.

believe me. as much a sinner as i am, that "goodness" in me has driven me away from sins i wish i could've just done. and i if you are a person who knows this by experience, shut up. i'm admitting freakin weakness here, you don't have to rub it in.

anyway. so we got promo girls from sir bernie's friend who manages a company who dispatches models to events. discussion this morning went:

Sir Bernie: volt, sarado mo pintuan.
me: (closes door)
SB: gusto mo banatan un mga un?
me: huh? haha...
SB: ndi nga, seryoso ako.
me: haha. parang... ayoko.
SB: di nga? sabhin mo lang sakin, ako bahala.

now these girls are not stand out pretty. they are about average looking [bet a mile better than the bachelor party girls, team] and make up for their loss in the looks department by wearing tight or revealing outfits. they're not the maria claras who you'd see walking around. cutting the crap [or crop. haha. no offense to those who might take offense in that], malandi rin mga babaeng un.

but to be somewhat "dangled" by some client the way Sir Bernie did, i'm thinking it's really not new for these girls.

aged 17, 18, and 21, they have already stopped studying, and are working full time for their company, but get paid only on the days that they have a project. per day, they earn 362 pesos, excluding fare and food.

it's not a good occupation.

so please, keep them away from occupations such as that. a call center may also provide the same environment, but at least they're not earning just 362pesos.

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Responsibilities and Politics

for 4 years of my college life, i have devoted a chunk of my time to politics. i've lost opportunities to be close to classmates, opportunities to excel in class, opportunities to be reckless and not image-worried. almost 2 years removed from that life, i still choose to keep track of what's happening to our party.

SDP is living it's 27th year now, and it has lived on because of people like me who care enough for the party that took care of me. a lot may have changed: personal outlooks, political strategies, overall image.. but one thing remains: the name. yes. the name.

lame as it may sound, SDP doesn't seem as it was before. we're now tame. when before, people practically cry because they didn't get the chance to run for a position, now, we practically plead for people to run for a certain position. when then it was an honor to serve the students, now, it seems we have to be thankful that candidates actually decided to run for office.

maybe culture has changed. when then, elections were such a big deal for everyone, now it seems too "showbiz" that those with the most number of supporters gain a seat.

AB has fallen into what our country has become: too sick and tired of idealist leaders who say they will do something but never really lived up to the expectations of the people, that they no longer want to push for any more change.

ayaw nang magkamali. ayaw nang magtiwalang kaya pang magbago.

i'm almost falling to that. i want the party to live on. but with everything going on, I MEAN EVERYTHING, im beginning to doubt that the party will live through another year.

the passion for service seems covered now with the sense of blind responsibility ("i have to do this because i have to"). actual responsibility now seems nothing but a side dish to the different main courses people have chosen throughout the years.

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Regrets and Rewinds

there are certain events in one's life where you think that you wouldn't be suffering as you are now if you hadn't made that particular choice. but then, you only get to think about it at the time when you're at your lowest.

i dunno. i've had a lot probably. but much as i'd want to regret my choices, i have to live with them because that was the choice i made at that time a choice was needed to be made. and i chose that choice because i thought it was the right thing to do at that split second of my life.

if there was a rewind button for our lives, it must be the most overused button there is.

but since there aren't any rewind buttons, we just have to keep moving forward. trust that you have made your own choices, and they were the right ones. the consequences now should not make you blame the past, but rather make you stronger than you were before. 

and if in case you feel so lost because of all the seemingly wrong turns you've made, cliche as it may sound, turn to God. He will listen.

i got three letters that say he does: TNT.

seriously though, prayer solves nothing unless you do something. talk to God. He will listen. and then, you make your choices on what to do. it may turn either way, but with God's guidance, you know that whichever way it turned, it's only for the best.