...Dungeon Seige and belongingness...

playing a new game on my PSP (probably an old one, but hey, its a newly installed game, so, i say its new), Dungeon Seige... just like any other game similar to this, i'm filthy rich again... i pick up interesting stuff and then sell it if i don't need it... i don't buy stuff since i know i can pick up better stuff along the adventure... even while playing Diablo before, i ended up with so much gold i had to throw some out... even in Crisis Core, it didn't matter if i used Gil toss to win a battle... that was how rich i was during adventure games..

then i realized why i spend so much... while in games, i have always saved up because there's really nothing much to spend on, in real life, there are a lot of things you get to want to buy... in games, i don't really care much about how much i spend, because i know that i could get it back anyway... but in real life, money's not that easy as killing a monster and getting gold or a premium item out of it... while in games, i buy stuff i like without giving much thought and then kill some monsters to get it back, in real life, if i buy stuff i like without giving it much thought, it means a couple of days without food, and an endless wait for the next payday...

it's stupid though, that right now, i have what, 600k in gold in Dungeon Seige, and i might finish that game without knowing if i could actually spend it, while in real life, i have around 2k in savings and i need much much more if im planning on settling down in the future... as they say, its better to start early...


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i now realize why i hate my job. first, let's see how you can hate it: you go to the office doing practically nothing, either playing PSP, sleeping, using meebo the whole day, and occassionally browsing through some sites for research... you get to go to the supermarket, look for stuff, and eat out while even chilling around the mall... you get to take the day off telling the guard that you're going out to look for market samples, and still get paid for slacking that day off... and since you're almost insignificant to the office, it's easy to say you're not coming to work because of a lame reason, and they won't even complain...sure, you won't get paid for a day, but hey, at least there's no pressure that you weren't able to do an important task that was needed to be done... there's always food in the pantry, and you get to eat as much rice as you can, as rice is free (and in this country where rice is such an issue, this has to be important)... you get paid a little over the minimum doing all these... fine, a couple of thousands above the minimum (wouldn't say exact figure) which makes it significantly better paying than even che's job...

cool, huh?

probably to someone who's not working or who's too stressed out with his/her job... but for me, i realized that i hate it not because of any other reason but: i don't belong.

 i've lived my life filled with people. i've had groups even in the family... in school, i always belonged to some group... nerdy as they may be or even assholes, i felt that i belonged somewhere... i'm a guy you throw in a pool of strangers and i come out with group of friends... with this job, i don't know... i talk to everyone, sure, because i can make a conversation out of anything... but as for friends, i don't know... i'm a freakin marketing assistant for a multinational company whose office based here in the country doesn't even have a marketing department... simply put, i'm an assistant, but i don't have any head... account managers don't know who i am directly under, so they find it odd giving me tasks... plus, knowing im a contractual worker, they don't really give me that much sensitive info... the guards and the front desk officer i do get to talk to, but they call me "sir" for reasons i don't know myself (gratifying, yes, for a 22-year old guy to be called "sir", but hey... with what i'm doing, i don't think i deserve it just yet)... some of the messengers, i get to talk to, but they can't look me in the eyes because im a "sir" to them for some reason... the other contractual employees don't talk to me that much, because we don't have much to talk about... the IT group could probably be my kind of people, but since they are they're own department, and having their own office to boot, they close themselves too much to themselves...

i can't even eat in the pantry during lunch... i don't know who to sit with and where... i feel pathetic staring at my monitor the whole day doing nothing, sleeping if i get too bored, playing PSP to stay awake...

im stressed that i can't get stressed at work... i know i'd go off bitching about stress if i do get stressed out at work, but at least i'm getting paid for actually doing something... at least i get to think.. at least i get to use skills i've accumulated over the years...

i need to leave this job. i can't wait till october 31...

i don't know what i want to do.. i know i can do a lot of things, i just don't know the right job for my skills... but whatever that job requires, i want to be the best in it...


...i just wish my brain's not too drained by that time...

...nth heartbreak: until next year...

ansakit na ng kamay ko... kakapalo sa upuan namin. just like i always do when watching a basketball game... 3rd quarter, 24 lamang, sabi ni che wla na... si kali nagtext, one Hail Mary for UST... si imon nagtext, "puso" ata... ako, badtrip, pero tulad ng kahit sinong basketball fanatic na naniniwala sa team nila, umasa ako, dahil 3rd quarter pa lang naman... ndi ako nagreply sa mga tao. laro muna. na tech si pido nun mei mini-run ang uste. pero nagrun ulit. grabe ang pinakitang kagustuhan manalo ni jervy. grabe ang effort ni dylan. putangina ni allera. mali desisyon ni bautista.

kaya.

sana.

heartbreak nanaman...

una, 14-point lead ng uste, tinalo ng FEU. last thursday lang, after sobrang husay na habol, munting mental lapse lang, buzzer beater. tpos ngayon, eto.

36 seconds pa. di kelangan tumira ni tata ng tres. bumato xa kahit 3 ata bantay nya. natural butata. tinulungan na nga sila ng UE dahil nagmintis ng isa pa, si allera naman nagpabida. samantalang kaya nga naging 1 lang lamang ng UE dahil TUMALON SI JERVY SA HALFCOURT PARA MAAGAW UN BOLA... tapos kelangan magpabida si allera at tata... oo mtutuwa ako kun pumasok. pero ill-advised. sobrang "puso". di na ginamit "utak" sabi nga ni dipa...

salamat fenequito, dahil sa nakakasira ng laro mong depensa. nakakasakit ka minsan, tinatawag kang kupal, tinatawag kang gago, pero ok lang. at least alam mo kun anu posisyon at kun anung role mo.
salamat milan, kahit na huli na, ipinakita mong meron tayong dahilan na magtiwalang maganda ang kinabukasan ng uste dahil sa mga player na tulad mo...
salamat jay-r camus (oo alam ko ndi jay-r pangalan nya), dahil sa husay at pagsisikap na ginawa mo, sa kagustuhan mong manalo, at sa paglalaro mo ng bigay-todo kahit na lugmok na mga kakampi mo...
salamat japs, dahil kahit wala kang jump shot, ipinakita mong napakahalaga mong parte ng Tigers, isang mahusay na tagapamalakad ng team, at stable na presence sa court pag andun ka, 100% man o ndi...
higit sa lahat, salamat jervy, dahil sa lahat ng ibinigay mo sa uste. ikaw, at wala nang mas hihigit pa, ang pinakamagaling na player sa UAAP ngayong taon. kun sakali mang ibigay nila sa iba ang MVP trophy, alam naman ng lahat na wala kang kapantay sa lahat ng kalaro ngayon sa liga. nawa'y magkaron ka ng magandang kinabukasan sa larangan ng basketball...


tangna ka mirza, dahil wala kang silbi buong season. ikaw lang kulang.
tangna ka dylan, asan ka na? ikaw ang pinkakumpletong player na kilala ko sa UAAP, at kahit na binabangas ka sa PEx ng ilang tao, alam ko namang ikaw ay isa sa pinakamabait na player sa UAAP... pero asan ka nun kelangan ka?
tangna ka allera, andami mong sinayang na possession... isang adventure parati ang mga tira mo. sayang ang PBL experience mo. umasa ako talagang ikaw ang magiging isa sa mga pinakamahusay na player ng uste ngaung taon, pero ayun, on-off ka, andami mo pa maling desisyon.
tangna ka canlas, dahil sa ilang laro na ipinakita mong napakalaki ng improvement mo, umasa akong wala nang tatalo sa tin pag ikaw, si dylan, si japs, si allera, at si jervy ang nasa loob. pero ayun. nawala ka rin.
tangna ka tata, para kang si migs. umasa ka na masyado sa 3pt shooting mo. sabi ng tita ko na taga la salle, nakita ka daw maglaro ng mga scout ng DLSU at naniniwala silang napakahusay na shooter mo. sa nabasa ko mula sa nakita ni imon somewhere, ikaw daw ang pinakamahusay na shooter na bata... tuwang tuwa akong nalaman na uste ang pinili mo... pero 2 laro ang personal kong nakitang nagkamali ka ng desisyon sa mga huling sandali...
tangna ka jeric, kala ko ikaw na ang sagot sa kulang na outside shooting ng gwardya. pero masyado ka pa ring gigil. sana tumanda kayo ni tata ng mabilis...


asan ka chuck nun kelangan ka?
kala ko ba magaling un isang player ng uste na bangkong rookie?

di ko alam kun mei kulang ako. masakit lang talaga pagkatalo... ansakit malaglag...






...till next year...


***sana di na si dianne querrer ang courtside reporter.
***boom gonzalez ang commentator ng games ng uste vs FEU, DLSU at UE... salamat seio tangna ka. kala namin kmi mei kasalanan dahil pag live kami nanonood talo parati. ikaw pala. pakshet ka.
***MVP defining moment = Jervy halfcourt steal, drive, dish to japs for an and-1 play...
***nakakainis matalo sa UE pa. anyayabang, ampapangit pa. ndi. si Llagas lang pala tinutukoy ko mei pareho nun. si Paul Lee, magaling, sige, pero putanginang yabang. si Marcy... wla ako masabi. galing mo tol. tangna ka lang tinalo mo kami.
***ganito pala feeling ng FEU at UE nun nilaglag natin sila... tsk... bawi na lang next year...

...emptiness and selfishness...

saturday was a pretty lonely day, save for the hours with peter and tracy (who enudred the long, detailed stories of yours truly)...

i'm trying to figure out if life was empty or i'm just too selfish...


che went out on a company trip... well, it was more like an inter-agency event sponsored by axn... it's what their job normally required from time to time, so i had to get used to it... it was, after all, the first of many trips... off they went, and then i went to try to ease the emptiness by hanging out with other friends... wanted to talk to the people i normally chat with, as in tracy's words, "these stuff we talk about deserve more than just text or chat conversations"... got to meet tracy and unfortunately, peter (apir.=P), but wasn't able to chat with lis (whom i have had a long overdue talk/meeting with) and imon (whom i was supposed to pay)... tried to squeeze as much time out of tracy and peter (whom i have to thank, really, for such a great time... i never thought i could have that much fun with you two if it was what, two years ago?=P) so that i could go home and just have time to sleep to make the wait shorter...

in the wait, i contemplted on what i was feeling... emptiness or selfishness... i kinda concluded that it was emptiness brought about by selfishness, which was cultivated by jealousy... i don't know how to practice not being jealous, c'mon... but then i remembered we agreed that we needed to trust each other... and so i must... which lessened the feeling of emptiness...

"trust" is an essential part of a relationship but it's so damn hard to pratice... even if i say i do, i do't always do it... i am jealous, in the first place, not because she might do something, but rather, because people around her might do something... but then, among our many arguments, she has told me that i needed to trust that she is strong enough to resist whatever temptation there might be as she does me... with this line of thought, "jealousy" might be minimized... an absolute trust on your partner...

i know it was for a day, but distance does so much in practicing "trust" (pero ndi ko naman sinasabing dalasan ang pagkakalayo beh...=P) that i had to write this blog despite poor construction and thought, just so i can share to my friends how valuable "trust" is... and how "distance" is not a factor which must separate you, but rather, draw you closer...

==============================================================

i told che about the musketeer i was getting from tracy's friend (and mine too..=P ankinan na to!! hehe...) and she was genuinely happy for me... she knows that every mall i go to, i always check the supermarket with hope that a musketeer is being sold... and she knows that every time, i get disappointed.... my sis got me one for my birthday: something she bought in subic... when che got back, it never crossed my mind until perk mentioned a "duty free" they went to... my heart raced... i was thinking "sana naalala nya" over and over while she was in the restroom... then i asked her if she got one, she said, no, they were all out...

but my curiousity pushed me to take a peek...


and there it was...


all it's silver glory...

with chocolate over chocolate inside the silvery, shiny, wrapper...


i wanted to cry...=)

(but surely, 6 pieces won't last a week...im done with 3 already, but that is with great effort not to take another... looking forward to more... *winks at leoneth* hehe...)

=============================================================

"halaga" by parokya ni edgar is playing on my head... tsk...

oh and, "this is me" by miley cyrus and the jonas brothers... tune's just so catchy...


and the gay song by archuleta, "crush"...

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i need to get a better job... my brain's not doing too good with this one...

...truthfest...

di ko alam kun mei pagkukulang... siguro late ako dumating kaya  un mga emo na lang na dugyot ang naabutan ko at di ko  na naapreciate un truthfest... nadismaya ako sa mga taong naabutan ko dahil ndi ko alam kun alam nila kun bakit sila andun....


umiiyak si manang... kinwento nya ang panloloko sa kanila ni gloria sa lupang tinitirahan nila.... kahit anung pilit ko sigurong husayan ang pagsusulat, ndi ko mailalarawan ang naipadama ni manang sa akin habang kinukwento nya ang garapalang pagpapakitang tao ni gloria, sabay tirang patalikod sa mga taong umasa sa pangakong kanila na ang lupang tinitirikan ng mga bahay nila... nangtokwang mga tao, sumisigaw, nagchcheer sa ndi ko maintindihang mga kadahilanan... ewan...


matagal nang pinaplano itong truthfest, akala ko eto na un gigiba sa administrasyong tiwali, lalo na't sa mga nangayari sa kasalukuyan na garapal nyang pagpirapiraso sa bansa natin... pero ndi pa pala....


pero sabi nga ng kaibigan kong si pia, "matibay na pader ang binabangga" natin ngayon...


pukpukin pa natin. matitibag din yan...


di ko alam kun anu magagawa ko. minsan natanung na ko sa isa sa mga sinagot kong blog.... "hanggang saan ang kaya mong ibigay?"


sa totoo lang, ndi ko alam... sa ganitong laban ndi ko alam ang gagawin ko... pero tutulong ako sa kun anu man ang pde ko magawa... sa ngaun, pagbalita sa mga taong malayo ngunit mei malasakit pa sa bansa... kung anu pa mang iba, andito lang naman ako...


eto ang taya ko....


ikaw, meron na ba?

...to trust...

i've lost hope in people... i know i've said it before somewhere... but then again, from how i understand it, it's still people who define who you are... i mean, you know in yourself that you're this kind of person, but if others see you as something completely different, they'll carry that idea of you until they die... and when you're gone, they could say anything they can about you and you can't do a damn thing about it...

i trusted people would do the right thing if they knew things they should know... i pushed people to speak the truth they felt another person should know, but at certain times, it caused much more grief when before there was none (if there were, there was not much).... it involved people who are not supposed to be involved and made matters complicated... it sucks to know that still, i have yet to prove that speaking the truth will do something ultimately good... still, i don't have anything to bring to my young cousins enclosed in the caring arms of the La Salle brothers... still, i can't give them so strong arguments for them to not see truth as something that will cause trouble...

what i have for them is this: truth aims for goodness. it may not always turn out good, but still, if you trust people that they will go by their better judgement, they will know what the right thing to do is... "to trust people"... its not an easy thing to do... but, as the saying goes, no man is an island... this world we live in is just like a game of basketball (the fanatic in me can't seem to hide itself in making an analogy)... at crunchtime, you have to pass the ball to get a better shot if you're trapped, and you just have to trust your teammate that he will know what to do with the ball if he gets it... the pass to a teammate for a better chance at the basket is not an assurance that you will win the game, but at least, your teammate had a good chance at it... you may win the game if the basket shoots, you may lose it if it misses... but the point is, at least he took a shot... at least, he had a better look...

tomorrow is probably one last heave at trust to people... uncle jun is trapped... us, his whole family is behind him... every single Filipino, teammates... the government, teamed up with foreign powers and all those who wish to gain for themselves, the opponent... they've trapped us at the halfcourt line (basketball analogy. allergic ako sa mangmang, pero kun mei nagbabasa man, gusto ko pa rin maintindihan nya) with no shot at winning at all... we pass to our teammates who have a better look at the basket... we trust that though it seems nerve-racking to the teammates, he would take a shot, that we may have that chance to win... if we lose, then, so be it... but please, we hope you take a shot at least... let's give ourselves that "chance"...

with all the excess baggage i've been carrying lately, i wasn't able to blog about this... i know it's a late post, since the event is tomorrow, but for those of you who still get to read this: Roxas Boulevard. 3PM onwards. a Truthfest will be held. bands performing, and several "truths" that we, as a people must know, are all gonna be witnessed in this event...

i trust that people come not because they're gonna get paid, not because they were told, not because they were promised food, but rather, because of the genuine concern for the country they live in...


please, don't let "truth" be synonymous to "asking for trouble", but rather, an essential virtue...


please, let me trust people... and by that, i mean, that people may show they can choose their better judgement in doing what they think is right and actually act on it...








...the ball is passed on to you.... please, take a chance... we might just win....

...just when i thought it couldn't get any worse...

...it did...

...just when i thought that speaking the truth isn't all that bad, as it seems, sometimes decisions you make along the way into revealing the truth damage friendships.... especially if someone beat you into revealing it...

can't people understand the heirarchy of responsibility? when was it that a friend (a) can speak for a common friend(b) to someone (c) who has somebody (d) whom she somewhat values more? can't (a) wait for (d) to tell (c)?! or even let (b) tell (c) since (b) is the one who is directly involved....


MEN can't keep their mouths shut especially if it would boost their ego. WOMEN on the other hand, can't seem to keep their mouths shut about anything. ESPECIALLY if its about people they know.

agree or disagree, i couldn't care less.

my point is: heirarchy of responsibility. if there is someone more qualified to speak other than you, shut the hell up. just shut the fuckin hell up. don't speak up to save face or whatever. "truth" isn't all that it's hyped up to be. it RARELY helps. it helps a select few, but it damages others around. "truth" is only good for people with tendencies to be introverts. speaking up will only bring you nowhere with no one faster than you can say "burger".


people should just learn to shut the fuck up. i mean really. LEARN to shut THE FUCK UP.

...truth = overrated...

"the truth shall set you free".

it's probably true. it has set a lot of people free, but is it actually worth it? does it do any good?

case in point:
longtime lovers break up. guy had another girl. if girls have a "girl thing", us guys certainly have a "guy thing"... i kept it, knowing it is damaging to their relationship. then girl asks for help. i oblige, giving as limited advice as i can because i wouldn't want to be the cause of the break up. then piece by piece, girl unravels whatever is being kept from her. then i confirmed or denied what she knew to some extent. girl becomes confused. she cried a lot. guy finally came to his senses, blogs about what he was feeling. with my newfound commitment to "truth", i gave girl access to my account so that she can view guy's blog which was mostly about her. then girl gets pissed at guy because she claims that guy sometimes shares too much to his friends. guy thinks there's a snitch somewhere. i suspect someone too. then recently, i came to know that the blog was meant for guy's friends only, and only his chosen users could read it. im trying to help these two out as much as i can, but as it seems, the more "truth" i give out just for one to know what the other is feeling, the more that i cause that rift to grow.

case #2:
confession to prevent "misinterpretation". girl likes guy, a confession brought about by trust. girl's worried that things might change, especially if other people get to know it. and besides, it is awkward for a girl to confess to a guy, and she understands that. but she's worried that infatuation might turn to misinterpretation of motives/events the more that she keeps it to herself. so i convince her to take the plunge. and i gave her the respect she deserves and kept it to myself. not even my closest friends got to know it. so then the day came and she confessed. what happened came as a surprise to us both, but she said she didn't expect anything anyway, she just wanted that out of her head. guy then assures girl that it will stay between the two of them.

then guy's friend who's having trouble himself, talks to me about his problem, but offers a blind item, not knowing i had an idea of what he knew. then he confirms what i think he knows, and we talk about it. as it seems, guy tells friends about the confession while (well, to me it seems) high on the "serious talk" that's happening around the drinking session. my initial reaction was "what the hell.." because i actually thought guy would be true to his word. i felt betrayed. i kept it from everyone i know out of respect for them both, and then learn that guy actually tells the story to some friends (well, 3/4 trustworthy people isn't probably that bad anyway)? i was pissed. and i don't know who would understand me better but girl herself. so i go about telling her that she musn't be surprised if someone walks up to her to confirm her confession because apparently, guy told some friends. girl gets pissed. we talked the whole time. by my third message, i realize the mistake i did once again. in speaking the "truth" to girl, i compromised my friendship to guy because as it seems, girl is fuming mad at guy now for breaking his word. "chuchu", as we kids call it, was how i felt right then and there... i try to convince girl that she musn't let guy know that she knows because i would not only compromise my friendship with guy, but surely, i might compromise my friendship with the rest of guy's friends, all of which are dear and close to me (or i am close to. words.)... girl tries to convince me that i did the right thing in speaking the "truth" but i know in me that i broke a "guy code"...

case #3:
ZTE and conscience. my uncle idolized jose rizal. his business email address was sinosirizal... he was that much of a fanatic. he loved his country so, but he knew that his was not a time of patriotism. so he did what he can for his country. and then, at one point in his life, he gets to have a chance to do something for his country: speak the "truth" that is concealed by the powers that be... some people thought he was crazy in doing what he did. others thought it was heroic. while some, disgusted because he has become a thorn to their once "quiet" income-generating ways at the expense of the public... as a result, he has not slept in his own bed since february, his kids experiencing dorm life way before they should, and his family can't even walk around the mall without security guards outnumbering them. yes, they are being taken care of. but they shouldn't be in the first place. "truth" has set him free, but where has it taken him? relagated to being somewhat of a rebel and living in some captivity to some extent, even his kids are becoming confused at what value "truth" has when speaking it only makes things worse than make the whole place around them better... no, im not trying to convince you that they're doing miserably where they are now. again, they are taken care of. they fare better than rebels in the mountain. but again i say, they shouldn't be compared to them in the first place.

if "truth shall set you free" then why is it that case # 1 got worse when truth was spoken? why is it that case # 2 would compromise my friendship for some because of trust given by one? and why is it that in case # 3, they were only made captive rather than free?


"truth" is so overrated. just when you thought it would make the world around you better, it makes things worse. people compromise themselves at the expense of truth. for what? at the end of the day, your conscience might be the only one you're with after compromising everything else for that overrated truth.





**for those involved. you know who you are. this is again a confession i made. well, to some extent. sorry for those who might be hurt. but it's a leap. i have to live with its consequences. sa maiiintindihan kung bakit ko ginawa, salamat.  sa ndi makakaintindi, well, that's what i get for truth. i would want to say i regret not keeping it to myself, but hey, my "conscience" might bug me. as far as i know, stuff i said are stuff that must be known, and not kept from the other person involved. it might disturb the peace, but at least whatever else happens is not a lie.

…Fastforward 2010: North and South Philippines…

 

 

“Moro to get Own State” read the Inquirer headline yesterday… No, I wasn’t able to read it… but my dad was reading it out loud for me… it’s no big deal, thinking we have ARMM or the Autonomous Region of Muslim Mindanao... the big deal, however is that  it’s part of the Philippines, they’re under the same systems… the difference with what’s going to happen to the “Moro’s own state” is completely different, as it will have it’s own educational systems, financial institutions, OWN representation in the UN, and whatever… from what I understood, it’s a going to operate completely separate from the Philippines, although it will remain as part of the Republic… think Korea… it’s a whole country, but there’s the communist North, and the somewhat democratic South…

 

anyway, yesterday was the first time in a while that I decided to hear mass… and it was at La Salle… and it was also the first time in a while (probably a couple of months, time flies you know) since I last seen or actually talked to Uncle Jun… and how appropriate was it that I came to him at a time when the news of GMA selling out came as the headline… so after mass, we had lunch, I tried to open the topic up... which was a welcome topic with a couple of brothers as well, because they didn’t even know… Uncle Jun had his two cents on it… apparently, the Treaty of Paris, that treaty wherein the country was sold by Spain to America, included some territories of the Philippines that was not actually part of the Philippines, most of it in Mindanao, I remember Sulu being one of them, he said a couple more, I forgot… anyway, those non-Philippine territory lands learned about this and approached the then owners of our land via the Treaty of Paris, the Americans… they entered into an agreement that have them agreeing to be part of national governance, but if and when the time comes that they feel that the government is incapable of governing them, they could seek a “protectorate” from the US, much like what the US did with the country through the Commonwealth government: a “transition government” under the guidance of the US prior to becoming declared as an independent state…

 

fast forward to present time… Uncle Jun mentioned the VFA… from what I understood (again, not in any means saying that Uncle Jun said it EXACTLY) the VFA was meant for the government to push for that separation… but the funding for that was just pocketed by “The Family” (Pamilya, as Uncle Jun would call them) and they really didn’t do much to push for it… eventually, the Americans gradually withdrew their support to GMA, and even until now, they don’t support her government that much, even as we all know that she’s doing everything she can to suck up to them… what the Americans did, as Uncle Jun said, was to instill in the minds of the Moros that they should not settle for anything less but a separate state, because of that agreement they entered into long before… hence, the treaty… and to gain face with the Americans, GMA approves it… all in a matter of 2 days…

 

what we lost? Well, he said, among others, the SECOND LARGEST NICKEL MINE IN THE WORLD which is located in Palawan (which is included in the separated state for some reason), and is included in that “separate Moro state”…

 

why were the Americans so bent on that separate state? Same reason why they bought the country from the Spaniards in the first place: our rich natural resources. Our country has been exploited for the longest time. And with the departure of the Americans from Subic (what was it, after 95 years? I forgot), Filipinos actually thought that we’re totally free from Americans… and it was always an unpopular move by the president to endorse stuff such as the VFA… so with no American presence in the country, how do they take advantage of our natural resources? Get the country to separate and exploit the newly separated state, since they would be its “guardians”… how do they do that considering any deal made by the government with the Americans could damage her reputation? Have some other people lay down the idea… and who better to lay that idea down than those who have long fought for autonomy? Yes, it damages the reputation of the president somehow, but at least the Americans wouldn’t be blamed for it… after all they were the ones who “were sought help from” in honor of the contract… the president, on the other hand, won’t complain that much if she would lose face among Filipinos, because she would gain face with the Americans and the newly separated Moros…

 

oh, by the way, Supreme Court can actually deny it… but last time I checked, since installing that new justice (I was informed there was a lady installed recently, but I’m talking about that guy installed during the heat of Uncle Jun’s issue), all rulings were in favor of “The Family”… so, it’s actually a done deal, more or less…

 

and to think, some people hated Ramos because silently, he privatized most government properties… I want to hear what those people think now that GMA is slowly selling our country… first Spratlys, now the south?

 

What happens to the Eat Bulaga theme song?

 

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I want Musketeer… you know, the chocolate coated chocolate? The one which is packaged like Baby Ruth? Musketeer and Baby Ruth may look the same package-wise, but it’s not the same chocolate… my sister got me a pack for my birthday, and she bought it in Subic… I’m just hoping to find some nearby… or if any of you are going to Subic and would be shopping, please buy me one (or 6)… I’ll pay…=P

…sitting with the hampas-lupas, figuring out infidelity, needs and wants…

 

Interviewer: What is the target of your show?

Tado: A & B! We’re targeting the class A & B because they have the buying power! All those hampas-lupas in the other classes are the urban poor. I was born with the urban poor, and I don’t wanna be there forever, so that’s why I want to belong to the class A & B, and that’s why this show is English-speaking

 

àBrewrats, last Tuesday night

 

mei libre akong ticket sa SM cinemas. libre pag sa baba ka, dagdag onti pag gusto mo lipat sa taas. sabi ko kei che sa Megamall na kami manood… balak kasi panoorin talaga ang pinabagong hit na hit na palabas ni John Lloyd at Sarah Geronimo (probably 5-6 years ago, I myself would say “yuck” to that statement… however, things change, and it wasn’t like I was forced to watch it) na “A Very Special Love”… matapos ang matinding tambalan nilang patok sa Maalaala Mo Kaya (na kinukuwento ko sa mga kaklase ko pag Vasco time, 8-9 kasi 9 pumapasok si Vasco), sabi namin ni Che, di namin to pdeng palampasin…

 

so ayun na, xempre nauna ako, kapitbahay ko lang Megamall eh… walang masyadong pila, na-upgrade ko pa un free de luxe ticket ko para sa premiere tickets (un baba naging taas, para sa urban poor)… walang reserved seats tulad ng hinihiling ni Che, pero sabi nya, ok lang daw basta maganda naman upuan… xempre di ko masisiguro un…

 

matapos ang dalawang oras na paglalaro ng PSP, panonood ng pagkatalo ng Ateneo (umm! Buti nga.) gamit ang cellphone-TV ng nanay ko, pagpila sa ATM wishing na mei sweldo na (na dumating nun 6PM), pag-order at pag-aantay sa McDo (kun saan ako umorder ng Shake Shake Fries pero di nabigyan ng flavor na isshake. Pakyu Mcdo Megamall!), dumating na rin si Che galing trabaho... at pumasok na kami sa sinehan.

 

Eto na ang adventure of a lifetime…

 

Mei trailer ng palabas ni Vin Diesel nun pumasok kami… tapos nun, bigla na lang naging blank un screen… tpos nagpatugtog ng Ogie Alcasid songs… mei kanya kanya nang jokes sa paligid… dun lang ako nakakita ng sinehang ubod ng dami ng ingay ng tao… at ndi un ingay na nadidinig mo sa Glorietta activity center… ito un ingay ng mga taong nanonood ng sine sa plaza sa probinsya… kung di mo pa nararanasan ito, pwes, tulad nga ng sabi ni Tado, marahil kabilang ka sa class A & B… di mo naranasan ang buhay ng mga “hampas-lupa” o “urban poor”… oo, ganun na nga… kasama namin ang mga inday na pumuslit ng day-off sa weekday para makasama si tikboy ng kapitbahay… bwakananginang ingay…

 

maganda un palabas, pramis, as in gusto ko, nakakaaliw sila, ndi naman masama un script, at kung i-rrate ko out 5, I’d say 4… mei mga sobrang bilis na transition, mei mga bagay na di ma-explain (tulad ng pagkawala ng bag ni Sarah sa last scene), at nandyan ang madalas na olats na buhok ni Sarah… pero ndi un movie ang storya sa panonood naming ito… crowd.

 

Sa gitna kami nakaupo. Panalo. Kaso mga dormmates ata galing probinsyang naghahanap ng trabaho ang mga nasa likod namin… un mga tipong binentahan ng kalabaw ng pamilya para makaluwas sa Maynila… un isa tumatawag sa nanay para magpaload ng 115 sa Smart… tapos un isa di matunawan nun nalaman na magkakaload na si Bruno, tanung ng tanong. Nun mei nagtext na kei Bruno, nagsimula namang mangantyaw tong si Perla na pasahan siya… nasabi ko na bang di pa nagsisimula un palabas? Ayun. Kasi nun nagsimula ndi nag-improve eh… nakakita sila ng mga lugar sa Makati, comment ng comment na “parang jan lang ako naglakad kanina ah!” o kaya “sa Makati Med lang pala yan eh!”… kaya ko naisip na puro sila mga hampas-lupang magkakasama marahil sa dorm matapos silang payagan paluwasin ng mga magulang nila sa Maynila… nilalakad ko rin ang Makati… pero di ko naman pagsisigawan sa sinehan un. Pakyu xa.

 

Anyway, dahil mei mga inday sa paligid, di mawala un tilian pag pinapakita si John Lloyd… si Che minsan kinikilig, pero di naman un tipong maririnig nun tao 5 rows down… nasisira tuloy momentum ni Che sa kiligan… natutuwa din ako sa palabas, pero kilig, hm… di naman ata… ok lang… going back, mga after ata ¼ nun palabas, tumayo na un mga hampas-lupa sa likod namin… masaya na sana kami… but no… mei pahabol pa pala… more kilig scenes pala meant more reactions mula sa urban poor… sigawan, tiliwan, at kung anu anu pa (“ay labyu talaga john Lloyd!”/ “ang ganda ganda mo sarah!”/ “aaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy!!!!!!”) ang sumira sa buong palabas… but wait, there’s more!!! Meron pang baby na umiiyak, ndi, nagwawala sa de luxe section ng sinehan… as in nakita ko pa kun san xa nakaupo dahil ndi rin ata gustong tumayo nila Brenda sa kinauupuan nila kahit nakakaperwisyo na ang anak ng amo nila sa buong sangkatauhan sa sinehan… 4 silang sabay sabay tumayo… at bumalik din after ilang minuto, pero umiyak pa rin un bata… tansha ko, ndi sila nag bato-bato-pick para malaman kung sino maglalabas at magpapatahan kei baby dahil walang gustong lumabas… at nagkasundo na lang sila na kung di mapapanood ng isa, ndi mapapanood ng lahat...

 

Matapos ang isa’t kalahating oras ng palabas, ayun, natapos na… mei bloopers pa nga sa dulo eh... kaso talagang ang hirap kayanin nung urban poor... banat ba naman nun labasan na “waw sulit talaga!”… kaya ko naramdamang mga urban poor at hampas lupa ang mga kasama namin dun…

 

Salamat Tado, sa pagbibigay mo ng inspirasyon sa maaaring itawag sa kanila…

 

 

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Break-ups, infidelity, cheating.

 

Whatever happens in a relationship on the rocks. Watching cheesy movies such as this gave me an idea of what might probably be causing infidelity among couples.

 

Ladies side first. Girls like to watch cheesy movies. Hence the term “chick flicks”. What do “chick flicks” normally have? A damsel in distress and a hunky, ideal guy who’s ready to sweep her off her feet… it could also be the other way around. And girls actually enjoy it… kinikilig, natutuwa, na-iinspire, sometimes even na-iinlove to a certain degree… at certain moments in the movie, you could see them with their eyes so dreamy looking at the male protagonist and with a stupid smile she normally wouldn’t wear under normal circumstances… that’s why a relationship, for girls, is so dreamy the first few weeks or even months… there’s the “kilig” factor for every new/sweet thing their guy does… but as it dies grows longer, the girl feels that their relationship is completely monotonous, no “kilig” factor, and hardly anything their guy does is out of the ordinary… as a result, she’s drawn to other guys who’d be doing stuff their guy did before, back in the “ligaw” stage… and the cycle goes on…

 

Now for guys. Guys are innately tasked to make “ligawan” happen. Though the more liberal society would say that girls can assert themselves, still, most of the time, it’s us guys who have to make the first move… we are tasked to please the girl, to do whatever it is necessary to make her ours… bring her chocolates, flowers, make a scene… basta, anything to make the girl feel special… that’s why the first few days that guy is finally accepted by girl to be her guy, guy is always on a high… weeks, maybe months later, guy wouldn’t feel that much obligated to do “special” things, because he’s already claimed his prize, girl is finally his… he’s enjoying his time because he no longer has to prove that he’s the right guy for the girl… but sometimes, guy thinks of doing “special” things… and as long as the relationship has been, these “special” things that guy did most of the time early on in their relationship, are no longer “special” but rather, “ordinary” to girl… before, a single flower made the girl smile, a necklace would’ve put a tear in her eye… now, a flower is a waste of money, while a necklace would give a happy moment, but don’t expect to see it on a regular basis…sometimes, guy feels the need for a challenge… making a girl fall in love is the biggest challenge there is… so while girl now seems to make guy feel that everything he does is “ordinary”, guy is drawn to another girl who makes him feel appreciated… not to mention the machismo of a guy, who thinks “even if I have a girl, I can still have whoever I want”…. and the cycle goes on…

 

Girls have to understand that guy wants to feel appreciated, feel wanted. No, you don’t have to be all excited about anything that he does, but I don’t know. There’s a certain glow from a girl who genuinely feels happy because of something guy did… girls gave certain value to even the smallest thing guy gave early on in the relationship… those little things are hardly valued during the later part of the relationship… the “special things” become ordinary to girl, that even if guy thinks he did something “special”, girl will just see it as another “gimmick” from her guy…

 

Guys on the other hand, have to understand that girls need to be pampered… having a relationship with girl doesn’t mean she’s yours. Heck, even married couples get separated. You have to constantly make her feel loved by doing stuff out of the ordinary. But don’t do it on a regular, predictable manner, because in the long run, you’d have no more ideas to work with…

 

Overall though, I pity girls more… girls don’t have that “machismo” or the privilege of “first move” to make another guy hers… guys who decide to cheat can do it whenever the hell the want… girls who are having thoughts on cheating need to wait for a guy so confident in himself to ask her out or something…

 

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In one’s life, there are needs and there are wants. Everybody knows that you prioritize your needs before your wants. However, most of the time, one would sacrifice his needs in order to get what he wants.

 

I am guilty as hell. I thought it was easy doing the ideal, needs over wants, but it isn’t. But maybe it’s because in my mind, it’s what I want that tells me what I need. And if I can’t sustain that want, then there’s probably no reason for me to have any needs at all…