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Dad and "Potential"
Pa: dapat seio mag-isip isip ka na ng gagawin mo sa buhay mo, wag mo na isipin mag-empleyado.
me: ...
pa: nun panahon namin sobrang open un mga trabaho kaya ok lang maging empleyado. ngayon iba na ang panahon, dapat enterpreneurship na ang pasukin...
me: ...
pa: alam mo un nakita ko sa quiapo, malaki potensyal nun eh. un diesel, meron nag-aalok na 41/liter lang makuha tpos para kang ahente na maghahanap ng tatambakan nun. libre na delivery pag within metro manila. 10000 liters ang minimum mo. pero kun tutuusin, malaki na kita dun. meron din un mga diaper. kahit un mga skwater nakadiaper na ngayon. kasi mahal na ang tubig.
me: ..
pa: dapat iniisip mo na yang mga ganyan.
me: dito na po ako.
i understand his point. i'm sure anyone else who reads this knows all too well that he's saying that for my best interest. but then again, i hate being told what to do. it's just not me. i'm as stubborn as he is, hence, i stayed silent, because we're going to go on a lengthy argument about it.
i understand his concern as he mentioned that during his wedding, they were the only couple that he knew of who spent for the whole thing, and had a house to call their own by the time that he got through the ceremonies... i really would want that too... its such an accomplishment, not asking anything from anyone... but then again, i hate being told what to do...
it's his dreams. his plans. i want a life i can call my own. i don't want him giving me money to start my own business and then by the time he retires, he asks me for money for "the other side" because its was him who gave me the money to start the whole thing up... circumstances are ceratainly different, and he may probably be right in saying that employee life is not the way to go at this day and age... but c'mon... i have to start somewhere... i have to do something long enough to know that i can handle something that long... i don't want to venture into a business and then three months in i quit because i don't like what i'm doing anymore... i'm still living on freakin humility towards my dad because he bought me a big ass freezer to store the ice cream for the "business venture" he got me into during the summer (eventually we stopped it, frankly because it's more expenses than earnings. and though i know i'm not supposed to quit that easily, you had to understand that even the vendors that we got didn't bother coming anymore... for 60 lousy pesos a day, i spend for gas to fetch and drop my vendors at the gate of the village, spend the whole day doing inventory and stuff, and probably food for the vendors, not to mention me paying for the "samples" i give out to visitors..)...
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My Mom and Reasons
Ma: bakit kelangan mo uminom?
me: huh?
it's not a "need". "drinking" which, in this case, pertains to alcohol consumption, to me, is merely a means for "social interaction". while one can say that people can interact without drinking, i say you can tell that to bar owners around the philippines and their countless customers. interaction can happen without drinking, true. but drinking as a means for social interaction just is. i can't say it's more or less enjoyable with or without alcohol. i can't compare. i enjoy the company of non-intoxicated individuals as much as i do those who see me as two people already. i just happen to be one of those people who enjoy taking and not taking alcohol for social interaction.
so sue me.
ma: asan ka ba?
me: nanood lang po ng sine, sunduin ko na rin po si job.
ma: ayus ah, mei oras ka pa manood ng sine.
me: huh? bakit?
ma: wala.
yes. i don't have that much savings. but at least, i do get to enjoy some things in life. i know that this mindset of mine has to change, but c'mon, what i do to myself i do and keep on doiing because it keeps me sane. my mom, she doesn't have hobbies. the one friend she's always raving about is her best friend who is Von Arroyo's mom (er.. in case you don't know, as he is not that much of a celeb, he's an ex-Smokey Mountain singer, and 5K singer too, two kid bands who got some attention during the late 80's to the early 90's... he was recently tabbed as one of the "teachers" for PDA..) who she RARELY spends time with, as she doesn't enjoy anything... she's the one female i know who doesn't light up at the mention of "shopping"... her life is self-proclaimed "dull, and without color with the exception of my dad coming to her life"... and since marital problems came to be, her life was just plain "dull"... much as i want to give her something to set her mind to, she doesn't want to do anything about it... no amount of shopping, massage, walk, or talks could ease her mind...
i've told her countless times i don't want to end up like her. i want to do something even after something similar to a "marital problem" happens to me... i want to be able to forget, to set my mind to something else, to be able to let go or just plain move on and accept circumstances that are there... if i want to watch a movie, i do it because i want to. the problem with her is she doesn't know what she wants... and though it pains me to see her suffer (and trust me, i do try to share her agony), i don't want to live my life crying on a corner with her because we can't think of any solution to the problem that we face... i'm a solution guy. i cant' just sit and sulk. i want to stand up and do something with my problem (ha, and here i am, contemplating on work... well, i feel it's kinda different, companies not giving me a chance and all... why the heck should they get a philosophy graduate to do their marketing stuff, right? i'm waiting, but i'm looking. i'm standing up, it's just that, i don't have any ground to stand on)... i could sulk with my mom, but not forever. i want to do what i want, and not just go home and sleep when everyone else is here waiting to be talked to...
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Games and Movies
watched eagle eye, at last, and it was a heck of a movie... body of lies is an enjoyable one too... and by "enjoying" i meant you get to think and you get cool ideas from it while trying to solve the issues within the movie... tropic thunder was mindless fun...
but what sucks is max payne. i don't know. dipa said it was good. me, speaking as a gamer, i hated it. bullet time characterized what max payne the game is. i mean, when you speak of "max payne" the first thing that comes to mind is a double berreta-shooting guy who's jumping sideways in slomo while shooting at the bad guys... there were a total of 2, i think, scenes which involved "bullet time" and both were at the wrong times.
che said, they probably did the movie and didn't exactly target the gamers like me. i was thinking, they make movies out of games because of the response of the audience to the games which could probably translate to audience for the movie. same idea goes for books just look at harry potter, and one of the most anticipated movies coming out, twilight. what they did to max payne was plain despicable. they used the double-berretta jump for the posters and everything, but throughout the movie, he never pulled out two guns at the same time... he never jumped the way he did for the poster. it was a plain con. it robbed be of the idea that it could probably be a good movie adaptation of the game, as lara croft pulled it off thanks to the wonderful lips of angelina jolie...
after the movie, i officially became a mark wahlberg hater. i liked him in "rockstar" but man, "tha happening" and max payne are two of the worst movies i watched this year. frustrating that both should come from the same actor...
speaking of games, poker night with the philo people gave me a great idea for a game. i looked for FIFA street on game shops, and i actually found one. and i'm hooked. i slept at almost 5am earlier just playing the freakin game. i had to will myself to sleep...
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Cars... Almost done!
the red anfra with the crappy wiring and busted aircon was fixed earlier. they did the wiring and stuff and finally, finally, fixed the airconditioning. now it was supposed to be good to go, which is why my dad brought it to drop the people who did it off to tondo.... he came back with a different car. nasira daw ulit ilaw. fun. good thing i wasn't the one driving it. else they might think i'm a headlight jinx, with both cars' (lancer and anfra) headlamps both gave up on me (anfra twice)...
the volkswagen, after almost 6months of being in hibernation and being messed-up, is finally almost done... everthing is either yellow, red, black, or stainless... lights were set up at each wheel (un sa parang shell nun gulong. dun.) so that it has lights like fast and the furious lights (they were blue pala), and bright lights were set up at the engine for troubleshooting purposes. in front, aside from the annoying bright yellow light or volks has, my dad decided to pimp it up with 100W fog lamps. if someone tells you that you won't ever see the light of day again, antayin mo lang magkasalubong tayo sa kalsada nang gabi. pramis. kala mo umaga na. bad trip na ko kasalubong kun dala ko un. though gusto ko rin. pambawi sa mga bwakananginang xenon ng ibang auto. aircon's fixed too... so in about two weeks, i think, it's gonna be good to go...
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Missing my Siblings
mushy? nah. it's just practical. i drove around the whole day kasi pag-uwi ko sa bahay, mei nakalimutan sila ipabili. that is after 3-6 times na confirmation bago ako umalis na wala na iba bibilhin. not to mention i have that thing they call a cellphone. and i actually have that great PLDT innovation, the landline plus. did they bother to text or call me?? no. they had to get me to come home first and go back to where i came from. crap.
if my sister was here, i'd have travelled for only half the time.
if my bro was here (he had a whole day seminar), i could've asked him to download the stuff i needed for office and load it all up to my psp so that i didn't have to do anything more.
but with both of them out, i had to do everything. hmp.
lazy boy talking. hehe...
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My Penguin
Ang tagal ko na naghahanap ng penguin na stuffed toy. as in after watching "Happy Feet", sobrang gusto ko magkapenguin na stuffed toy... then one night, while browsing along metro east, che stumbled upon one... i bought it right away. and now, i carry it whenever i bring a car, and i sleep with it on my head... but one thing though, i don't have a name for it yet... tulong naman.. pramis, whoever gives the best name for it, i'll give you a prize: isang pack ng white rabbit.. hehe... o kaya melamine-powered Koala.
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i know i was supposed to make a really lengthy blog. i just can't remember all the stuff i wanted to write.. anyway, mei next time naman eh... hehe...
Attachment: DSC01028.JPG
celebration of life.
ReplyDeletehuh?
ReplyDeletesa reasons sa pag inom. hahahaha
ReplyDeletepangalan ng penguin, wla?=P
ReplyDeletehmmm...
ReplyDeleteNonoy
voltaire - na-miss mo mag-blog?
ReplyDeletename para sa penguin? ang bading...hehe. di ko alam kung bakit, pero mukha siyanb popcorn. siguro kasi mataba...
ReplyDeletevoltaire, in this day and age, mahirap talaga maging masaya at mabuhay ng kumportable. ang masasabi ko lang, don't think of things as impossbilities and they will cease to be impossible. feeling mo siguro shit talk to. pero true to dude.
a year ago i was stuck in a dead end job. agent ako. i was living off my relatively good salary, trying to satisfy myself with fleeting pleasures like taking advantage of my improved buying power and financial independence. yung M.A. ko during that time, on hold din. i was upset na nag-UP ako. i didn't know kung anong gagawin ko dun; everything was new sa UP. system, academics...i didn't feel like i had a niche there if ever i continued with my MA. They required me to take up two undergrad subj before i could jump start MA. What was worse was I was doing not so good in work, or at least not good enough for a promotion. so ang battle plan ko dun, 2 years ako call center before i could do what i wanted.
but everyday i thought to myself that i was too good for the job. Suddenly, dumating yung UPLB thing. I had no MA, kalaban ko may MA na, with teaching experience pa. Who would've known? I could've dwelled in my negative thoughts na, " sige, susubukan ko pero tingin ko naman di nila ako kukunin kasi wala akong MA tsaka hindi ako UP..." But I revamped my way of thinking and showed them that I was the one they were looking for. I wasn't ashamed of a lack of degree or of any lack in my credentials. I told them, "I don't have this or that, but i can do the job. I'm the one you're looking for." Even if they were uncertain, I was dead certain that they needed me. Medyo nag rub off sa kanila. hehe.
I don't want to go one talking about myself. Pero masasabi ko lang voltz, may capacity ka in marketing or any related field. You're one of those people who can talk their way into things. Di ko ma-explain pero college pa lang tayo ganyan ka na. kaya siguro friend ka ng lahat ng girls sa class a naka-penetrate ka sa girl groups. haha.
never bring your ambitions a step lower simply because the opportunity hasn't materialized. It would, eventually. Mediocrity in life happens when people settle for something less rather than stand by what they truly want, because they're either conscious of other people's disbelief, afraid of too much disappointment. Have you ever wondered about phenomenal people like Dr. ? Naisip mo na ba kung bakit minsan, parang ang yabang niya pero bulsshit lang. kinakagat naman ng mga tao. o kaya yung classmate mo dating si na kahit ramdam mo eh nakakaenkuwentro ng kaka-disappoint na pangyayari eh bilib pa rin sa sarili? tapos naiisip natin, bakit kaya ang swerte ng mga mayayabang na mokong na yun?
They never thought of themselves as simply this or limited by this. So should you view yourself. Now departing from the self help book stuff (though sincere ako nito, kita naman ang effrot di ba?) suggestion ko eh subukan mo ang trabahong malapit sa marketing tulad ng PR (press release) o kaya advertising. medyo frustrating pero habang inaantay mo ang big break, it won't hurt to acquire more skills.
pasensiya. na-carried away. nabagabag lang ako sa pagsubok na dinadaanan mo. nabagabag lang ko ng penomena laganap sa lipunan na ang mga nangangarap ay unti unti nang nabibiktima ng mundong walang mata para sa tunay na talento.
ReplyDeletepatience lang.. darating dn ung trabahong para syo....:) yaan mo lang mga komento nila pa... bsta lam mo gusto mong direksyon..
ReplyDeleteasan na pla mga pics ng mga kotse? dka pa rn ngppost o email...
missing my siblings ka dyan.. wahahhahaha
palibhasa utusan kna.. hehehe..
ok lang abby. hehe.. much appreciated...
ReplyDeletegusto ko. alam kong kaya ko. andun pa rin naman sa kin un "bilib sa sarili". its just that i'm not getting my chances. its not like i'm not looking to enter that field, i do. mula't sapul. kaso everytime they ask, "but you're a philo graduate, we're looking for someone who has a background in marketing." its crap, and i don't take that lying down. i filled up my resume with a bunch of extra-curricular stuff but it seems its not enough for them...
so now, having this crappy job i have right now, i'm trying to endure para naman mei "marketing" na na karugtong un resume ko... right now, somehow learning stuff here naman, little by little... some of the account managers see that much in me that they trust me in making parts of their presentations to the big companies, and some even asking me first before consulting IT for computer related stuff... it helps being a jack-of-all trades, but i understand now that i have to be really good at somewhere, and not just know a little bit of everything. the people here want to help me, but they can't hire me directly because it's a multinational company that moves forward together, and what the region says goes; each country can't move on its own (i.e. hire people directly) without the decision coming from the region. they want me here, but they understand that they can't keep me here, what with me being able to do what i'm doing...
i don't want to be stuck in mediocrity. i want to be good at something. i don't want to be told what to do, pero as it seems, that's what my p
pards pangalan para sa penguin? picolyo.. hahaha
ReplyDelete