...now what?...

i don't want to blog. i can't. about it. but it's the only thing i've got. it's the only thing i know. funny i got a random message from ana v yesterday that i never knew would be so appropriate:

"a sense of purpose is the best driving force to live... coz when you have a reason to live, you will never have a reason to quit..."

so what happens if the purpose is gone? do i quit?

i saw it coming. it was necessary. i'm not mad. i'm hurt. because it hurts. i don't blame anyone. i don't hate anyone. it just has to happen. doesn't mean i have to like it. but we need it. i guess.

i hate being alone. but i guess that's what i've always been.

 

...without her...

 

sorry. if you read this. it's my last. i won't spare details. i just had to have something. i wouldn't be able to talk to anyone anyway. still, i'd come to your defense if anyone takes this the wrong way. thanks. for everything.

just when i said i was fine with my wingmen, both can't help. just when i realized i didn't have a friend-friend, this happens.