...On Weddings and Receptions...

Let me first get it out of the way: I am not yet getting married. This blog is not about the struggle of a person who's in a relationship thinking ahead and settling down. Far from it.

Last Sunday, my mom dragged me to her officemate's wedding reception in Century Park Hotel. It was held at a huge ballroom, filled with Chinese people wearing fancy clothes, hosted by a Chinese-speaking guy who looked like Anthony Taberna, and given ambiance by karaoke songs sung in Chinese.

The people I knew in that party were a grand total of 8, my parents included. I didn't even know the newly-weds.

Now, I may not be getting married anytime soon, but I do want to lay out my wedding reception plan for all to see, so that you may get some tips to make this once in a lifetime (hopefully) event memorable.

Yes, I'm looking at you, Kali, Christian, and Imon (in no particular order). 

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1. Not too fancy of a place

While it is nice to see people dress up for an event, I feel the pain of people who struggle to try and act unnaturally because of what they wear. Not everyone likes to dress up, but if an event calls for it, they have to. And because they have to, men with female partners have to endure a whole event of their female counterparts constantly just asking them "do I look ok?"

Women, really, you do. It's all about your confidence in what you wear. Forget if you think that other girl can or can't pull off what she's wearing, the important thing is she wears it with confidence.

But for the sake of girls who are too conscious and guys who have to constantly pull up their girl's confidence in parties like these, I'd rather have a reception in a chill-out place, where ties are loose, and women can wear flat shoes. I don't want it too dark or too loud, so bars are out. But to some extent, a place like Moomba appeals to me. If I close out the whole place, I think that'd be a nice enough place. Not too fancy, but classy in a sense. It's not too dark, and it can have nice music playing in the background, and because it is a bar, people can chill out. Oh, and they have nice sofas. 

Hopefully, they have a nice parking area by the time I plan to get married. 

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2. Inviting the right people

I went to a wedding without even knowing any significant person in the newly-weds' lives. And when they were taking pictures of everyone, there I was, standing next to the bride who doesn't even know me.

I want a wedding where I actually know the people who came. I don't want some stranger ruining my pictures. If friends of about my age decided to bring their babies, it's ok. But if they decide to bring their parents, that'd be weird. Except if I know their parents personally. And there's only a select few who I think would actually care.

I don't want a bunch of freeloaders in my reception. My wedding reception would be a "thank you" for people who have been part of our lives, and became witnesses to another step we're taking. 

It's not just a freakin free dinner.

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3. Guests will not be starved and bored to death

Of course, I wouldn't be able to see my wife wear her wedding gown before the wedding, so there's bound to be a pictorial after wedding vows have been exchanged. But in the process, those who attended the wedding would have to wait for about an hour or so before food is served.

Hence, I propose that my reception place serve nachos and other appetizers and not just nuts. Hopefully, I can get a couple of stand-up comedians to do a show while waiting for us to arrive. Alcoholic beverages could be available for those who look for it, but it will be limited to a couple of beers and sissy cocktails while we're not there yet.

The fun can start without us. The whole comedic performance can be caught on video, and we can enjoy watching it on our honeymoon trip.

The main course would not be too heavy. Probably one dish each of fish, pork, beef, and veggies, then a chocolate fountain and fruits for dessert.

People in my reception should be there for the event, not for the food.

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4. My host is someone familiar with and to my guests

I don't want to hire a professional host. No matter how fun that person may be, I don't want some person faking chemistry with the audience. I want someone who really knows me, and hopefully, would take time off to try to know some of the other people I'd invite.

No, I'm not doing this to save on costs. I'd pay my friend whatever that host would probably make. I just want my host to actually understand why people are teasing this person or that, and people don't have to explain why. 

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5. Participants will participate.

I hate when the host/s call out people on a list for games, and these people don't stand up because they're too conscious or shy. Time is being wasted for every moment that the host/s call out your name or drag you to where the game is. The night is not about you, you know.

To make the games interesting, I'd throw in a couple of prizes, so that they won't feel they're being tortured for the sake of fun. 

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6. My Best Man will be the best.

Some weddings I've been to, the best men's speeches were either lame, bland, or bad(Rey's speech for Benjo was bordering on the three). It's not with the lack of experience, heck, how many times will you be a best man for somebody?

Hopefully my best man would actually say something sensible, probably a bit funny, but definitely memorable, and show my guests why he is my best man.

And hopefully, he won't claim to have had "dibs" on my wife first.

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...When Status Messages and Tweets Become Too Short...

My Twitter account is about a week old or so, and as of this writing, I already have 133 tweets, while those who actually sold me the idea of having a Twitter account (Issa, Che, and Shara. No, Imon, you're just a spammer. Gilbert Arenas' drive to 1million followers was more of an influence than you. You made me hate Twitter with all your spam messages.) don't have as much tweets, considering they've been tweeting longer.

I want to speak my mind out. That's why my Multiply site is filled with long, wordy blogs. And while uneventful days can't even provide a status message for the day, there are moments like this when I want to say so many things, but can't fit them all in a 220-character status or 140-character tweet unless I spam.

So anyway, random ramblings start here:

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New Work, New Beginning

My current contract ends on September 30. And I know that I've been ranting about my job here in my blogs for the past 2 years or so, but this time, it's actually happening. My uncle (mom's brother) is taking me in as a sales associate in his company. To some extent, it sucks, because I have to get used to 6-day work weeks and I wouldn't be able to feel that "corporate environment" where there's backstabbing, cliques, politics, and all those stuff you could have trying to work harmoniously with different types of people. I have to grow old fast working for my uncle, because I can't be that "young kid" who sells stuff to them. I need to be an equal, a credible individual who they will ask help from if the need arises.

But those things considered, I'm pretty excited working there. For one, an actual business card with my name and info on it is being printed already. That is a significant step for me. For the longest time, I've been somewhat of a ghost employee here: not low enough to be at par with the cleaners, but not as high ranking as account managers, and though part of the company, can't actually represent the company in any capacity. As a third-party employee, that's the feeling that I got.

Now, I'm going to have my own business card to trade with associates. I'll have full responsibility of some stuff, which I can't blame on others.I may kick myself someday for saying this but, at this point in time, I actually like that, because it's on me. If stuff don't happen, it's my fault. If they do, I did it. Right now, in this office, if stuff don't happen, it's not entirely my fault. There are times that I get blamed, but I could always say (which is the case most of the time) that I did my part, and what happens after that is out of my hands.

I still don't know if I can REALLY handle the job, but I think I can. I know I can. And right now, that's what matters.  All that's left is to hope and wish and pray that everything turns out well.

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Insanity and the Forbidden Fruit

While driving last night, I had an urge to shout. As in, just shout. Then just run around and curse people and not care about anything. I don't know why. For a brief moment there, I felt like I was battling my sanity. I don't know how I won, but I didn't even know what sparked that battle. So maybe I'm still in that war. Maybe, someday, I might snap for reasons I'll never know. Then I'll be able to understand what goes through the minds of people we call "crazy". 

For some reason, as I walked around Glorietta, I felt like I ate the forbidden fruit or something. In the story of Adam and Eve, they were ashamed because they realized they were naked after they ate the forbidden fruit, and so they hid. I, on the other hand, didn't eat anything. But as soon as I got off the car, I felt uneasy, not wanting to be in my body, suddenly anxious about what people are thinking when they glance at me for a millisecond. I was mindful of how I walked, how my shirt was worn, how I bobbed my head to the beat of the songs in my mp3, and generally, just how I looked.

What's weird is that those were unprovoked incidents. Hopefully, both were isolated cases that just happened on the same night. 

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Of Passion and Writing

I'm still thinking of putting up that blogspot or wordpress site. I'm thinking, I do want to have readers, I do want people to read my blogs (Barney from HIMYM comes to mind), but there are times when I have brain farts like these where nothing good really comes out.

I write to for the sake of writing. I write to express whatever thoughts want to come out of my head, and express them with no interruptions. I'm thinking, if my blogs are actually interesting, people will read from this site, and I wouldn't need to be in blogspot or wordpress. But that's just me. 

Like signing up for Twitter, I might eventually go the wordpress route.

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Go USTe!!

A couple of weeks ago, my mom woke me up to tell me that the whole house is going to be re-painted. She asked what color I'd like my room to be in and suggested the blue paint in the attic. Though still droopy, I managed to whine: "ayaw ko nun. Kalaban yun." 

Yes, even in my sleep, I hate Ateneo. Not generalizing, but school spirit-wise, I see them as my villain. They beat my UE team of Paul Artadi, James Yap, Ronald Tubid, Arnold Booker, and Philip Butel, among others, twice to advance to the finals of that year (and claim the title via good teamwork, and Cool Cat's sellout). They stood in our way in the 2006 basketball finals. And as a La Sallian-poser (I've grown to love the school, what with how they've taken care of Uncle Jun, how passionate my Uncle Hero is for them [not to mention the free tickets I've got from him, La Salle side, so I had to wear green], and how I saw them as nicer dudes than their blue counterparts), I tried to learn the La Sallian cheers just so I can scream my heart out against Ateneo. Of course, there are exceptions in my hate for anything blue, basketball-wise: I am a fan of LA Tenorio and Larry Fonacier, two guys I really felt happy for as they won their first PBA championship. Larry, especially, knowing he had to come back from a career-threatening injury, and work his way up to be drafted and actually have playing time in the PBA.

Oh, and to elevate further my disdain for the blue ones, Ricky Palou, their sports director or something, was the pushover who backed out at the last minute of what should've been a fund raiser in Araneta that we organized. I still have those tickets with me. 

Anyway, back to my room. I failed to convince my parents that my ceiling should be black. I failed to persuade the painters to paint my cabinets black. But I'm happy with how yellow my room is now. It looks like a cartoon. I'm excited to arrange it to my liking, and take a picture of it. 

And once I get me my free time, I WILL paint black accents in that room.

...On Being Meant to be Something...

(At the gates of Heaven)

St. Peter: All right, alright people, settle down. I can't let you all enter the gates of Heaven.

Person 1: I was a devout Christian!

Person 2: What about me? I followed all the tenets of Buddhism!

Person 3: I lived the teachings of Islam!

St. Peter: Because those who got it right were...........the Mormons. Yes. Mormons.

All: Aw...

(From a Southpark episode)

It probably is a stupid, profane, and poorly-animated cartoon series, but this scene captures an idea that some people (me included) can't get over with: what happens after you die? We all have different beliefs, and it bothers the shit out of me not knowing what happens after my body stops working.

But that's probably too serious of a topic. I could rant on and on about it. It's my greatest fear; death, or basically, the unknown. 

In a different perspective, I was thinking of what if we were made to be something but didn't turn out to be what we're supposed to be? It's just a thought. What if we're all made to be something, but we're all just victims of circumstances that we were born into. Haven't you wondered why you could do stuff some people can't normally do but is so natural to you?

Who knows? Maybe that spoiled brat of a rich couple is actually supposed to be a poor, lazy-assed bum, but since brat was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, brat enjoyed an easy life, and never got convicted because parents always bailed him out.

I'm thinking, maybe I was supposed to be a super athlete. I adapt well to sports; I understand principles easily, and can play a pretty decent first game of something. Probably. I have tons of energy and I love the feeling of exhausting my body. But then I couldn't run a 5k fun run without dying. Such is what happened since I was a shy kid back in grade school, a bit of a nerd in high school, and a politician-wannabe in college. I never had time to cultivate my supposedly incredible physical gifts. And now I'm a chubby guy whose only regular thing going is looking for nice places to eat. And find the best burger around. 

Or maybe I'm supposed to be a navigator. I am bad at names of places, but throw me somewhere and I'll figure out a way to go home. No, I am not considering myself to have been a dog in my past life. I love travelling and I am comfortable walking or driving around to discover places or routes. 

Maybe I was supposed to be a rapper. I have a fast mouth that sometimes I can't even keep up with myself. Not to mention shout out profanity to just about anyone and actually make it entertaining rather than insulting. However, I was not blessed with creativity and wit to cook up rhyming words at the end of each line. 

But alas, here I am, a twenty-something still looking for identity in the real world, thinking he can make it without leaving the country. A frustrated writer who may be passionate but can't earn shit writing stuff. An opinionated voice in topics of sports and politics, and a drinking buddy who would probably pass out before everyone else is down. 

But still, I've said before that I am a gambler, and I deal with the hands I am dealt. I blame no one for what I turned out to be, and I don't see myself as a failure despite not turning out to be what I think I'm supposed to be.

After all, I'll never know 'till I cross to the other side, like all those non-Mormons in Southpark.

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I shrink out of shame whenever I meet a new business associate who offers his/her business card and I can't offer mine. In other Asian countries, it is a courtesy to exchange name cards. I may be found to be rude if I can't give my own name card. I can make one, really, but I can't represent my company because I'm not directly hired.

So out of boredom and lack of self-respect, a friend and I talked about me having a Hallmark card as a business card. This way, people won't ever forget who gave them my card. Imagine yourself giving a business card to someone and you get something like this in return:

(Protected my personal info because this site is viewable by all.)

While I don't have a card yet, maybe I'll try to reproduce this piece of crap.

...The JDB Principle: Otil Dipal's Female Counterpart...

Minsan, ang aking butihing kaibigan ay inilahad ang prinsipyo ni Otil Dipal (http://imonolgado.multiply.com/journal/item/177), para sa mga kalalakihang nais nang wakasan ang buhay dahil sa kawalang pag-asa sa pag-ibig. Sa prinsipyong ito, ipinakita nyang hindi pa katapusan ng mundo kung pangit ka o torpe. Isang matinding paniniwala lamang sa prinsipyong ito at pagsasabuhay rito, ay siguradong tutuwid ang love life mo.

Ilang taon na rin ang nakalipas, at napag-usapang muli ang prinsipyong ito. Napagtanto namin, sa diwa ng pagkapantay-pantay, na di lang dapat ang lalaki ang may prinsipyong nagpapalakas ng loob ng mga tila sawi sa pag-ibig. Dahil dito, nagawa naming humantong sa prinsipyong JDB (Janice De Belen), na ang pangunahing prinsipyo ay:

Daig ng Malandi ang Maganda.

Tulad ng Otil Dipal Principle, alam nating may alas talaga ang mga gwapo sa mga pangit, ngunit talo ng madiskarte ang gwapo (Olgado, 2008). Sa prinsipyong JDB, tiklop naman ang magaganda sa mga malalandi, dahil, oo nga naman, aanhin pa naman ang ganda kung di ka naman papatol sa nais mong maka-"hook-up".

Bibigyan katwiran ko lamang ang paggamit sa kanya bilang halimbawa katapat ni ginoong Lito Lapid: habang nakikita naming baduy si Lito Lapid at ang porma nyang Leon Guerrero, pag binasa at isinapuso mo ang Otil Dipal principle, makikitang hindi lamang sa hitsura nagiging matagumpay sa larangan ng pag-ibig. Si Janice De Belen, bilang ang babae sa larawan sa baba, ay isang nilalang na hindi siguro nanaisin ng mga babaeng maging sila. Ngunit, kung tutuusin, marahil pinangarap ng mga babae na maging nasa posisyon sana ni Janice De Belen, o JDB: kabilang sa mga kasintahan nya ay sina Aga Mulach, John Estrada, at Gabby Concepcion. Pakitaan mo ko ng babaeng mayroong ganyang listahan, at ako'y luluhod sa kanyang harapan. 

Alinsunod muli sa Otil Dipal principle, gumawa rin ako ng mga prinsipyong gumagabay sa pangunahing prinsipyong JDB:

1. Ok lang mauna. Modernong panahon na.

Noong panahon ni Kopong-kopong, hindi dapat si babae ang lumapit kay lalaki, sapagkat hindi ito kaaya-ayang tingnan. Ngunit sa panahon ngayon, alaws na si Maria Clara kay Girlieing Malandi. Nabubulok na sa kakaantay si Maria Clara, samantalang si Girlie ay natikman na lahat ng lalaking nais pumorma kay Maria. Sa modernong panahon, kailangang ikaw na ang kumilos, dahil mabilis maubos ang kalalakihan sa mundo: kung wala silang syota, ang mga matitino ay posibleng bading o torpe. Wala kang aasahang kinabukasan sa lalaking lalapit sa iyo at magbibitaw ng pick-up line. 

2. Ang kagandahan ay panglabas na anyo lamang. 

Ang totoong kagandahan ay nasa loob. Kung pangit ka talaga, wala kang karapatang maging maldita. Kapal naman ng mukha mo. Dapat pumili ka lang sa pagiging one-of-the-boys o yung pang-tropa, dahil di ka naman magiging pa-next. May isa sa mga yan na magiging sawing-sawi sa buhay nya na posible mong makatuluyan dahil makikita nyang nariyan ka parati sa panahon ng kanyang pangangailangan, at siyang makakakita ng totoong kagandahan mo. Kung masyado mo namang pinapansin ang panlabas na kaanyuhan mo, concealer lang ang katapat nyan. Pero, payong kaibigan, magpakatotoo ka na lang. Utang na loob. Wag mong lokohin si Boyet at ang sarili mo sa pamamagitan ng paglagay ng napakaraming concealer sa mukha mo. 

3. Confidence, and lots of it.

Sa totoo lang, bilang lalaki, kahit may kasama kang kasintahan; ilang beses ba na may dumaang naka shorts o naka-plunging ang hindi mo tiningnan? Hindi lahat ng naka-malanding kasuotan ay "pwede". 8/10 na beses, olats ang nakasuot nito. Ngunit, sa mga nagsuot nito, matagumpay nilang nakamit ang nais nila: ang mapansin ng kalalakihan. Pangit man o maganda, ang pagsusuot ng malanding kasuotan ay siguradong makakapagpalingon ng kalalakihan. Kung di panatag ang iyong kalooban na magsuot ng malanding kasuotan, isipin mo na lang, may mas mababa pang kartada sa iyo na kayang magsuot ng mga kasuotang ito, at sila ang umaagaw ng atensyong dapat ay sa iyo na lamang. 

4. The Power of the V.

Medyo di pambata ang puntong ito, pero sige: Ito'y isang kapangyarihang paulit-ulit na binabanggit sa palatuntunan ni Mo Twister sa umaga sa Magic 899. May alas ang mga babae sa mga lalaki: ang kanila mismong pagkababae. Kung ipagkait ni Boyet ang kanyang pagkalalaki kay Girlie, ok lang kay Girlie. Pero kung si Girlie ang nagdamot, warat si Boyet. At pag pinagbigyan ni Girlie si Boyet, mapapa-oo nya si Boyet sa kahit na anong gusto nya. Ito'y isang kapangyarihang magagamit lamang sa advanced stages ng relasyon, at kapag naintindihan ni Girlie ang kapangyarihang kanyang taglay, maiintindihan nating lahat kung bakit napakaraming mamahaling sapatos ni Imelda Marcos. 

5. Wag kang choosy kung di ka naman yummy.

Ito marahil ang prinsipyong humuhubog ng husto sa prinsipyong JDB. Kadalasan, mapili si Girlie sa kanyang makaka-relasyong lalaki. Kailangan kasi, perpekto ang lalaking pagbibigyan nya ng kanyang lahat. Ngunit sa praktikal na mundo, ang mga matitinong (tunay na) lalaki na wala pang ka-relasyon ay kasing onti na lamang ng Philippine Eagle. Ang resulta nito, ay mga kababaihang tumatandang dalaga kakaantay kay Mr. Right na hindi naman dumating, samantalang sila Mr. Left, Mr. Wrong, Mr. Pwede, at kung sino sino pa ay nakahanap na ng ibang Girlie dahil napagod nang kakaantay sa mapiling Girlie. At huwag mong isiping yummy ka na malas lang talaga sa pag-ibig, dahil kung talagang yummy ka, hindi ka single. 

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Ito'y mga prinsipyong hinubog lamang ng isang walang kwentang usapan ng lokohan, at napa-laganap lamang ng malikot at pakialamerong kaisipan ng isang hamak na nilalang. Kung may nakaligtaan man ako ay huwag mag-atubiling dagdagan ang mga nasabing prinsipyo, o di kaya'y tumaliwas sa mga kaisipang nailahad.