...On Being Meant to be Something...

(At the gates of Heaven)

St. Peter: All right, alright people, settle down. I can't let you all enter the gates of Heaven.

Person 1: I was a devout Christian!

Person 2: What about me? I followed all the tenets of Buddhism!

Person 3: I lived the teachings of Islam!

St. Peter: Because those who got it right were...........the Mormons. Yes. Mormons.

All: Aw...

(From a Southpark episode)

It probably is a stupid, profane, and poorly-animated cartoon series, but this scene captures an idea that some people (me included) can't get over with: what happens after you die? We all have different beliefs, and it bothers the shit out of me not knowing what happens after my body stops working.

But that's probably too serious of a topic. I could rant on and on about it. It's my greatest fear; death, or basically, the unknown. 

In a different perspective, I was thinking of what if we were made to be something but didn't turn out to be what we're supposed to be? It's just a thought. What if we're all made to be something, but we're all just victims of circumstances that we were born into. Haven't you wondered why you could do stuff some people can't normally do but is so natural to you?

Who knows? Maybe that spoiled brat of a rich couple is actually supposed to be a poor, lazy-assed bum, but since brat was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, brat enjoyed an easy life, and never got convicted because parents always bailed him out.

I'm thinking, maybe I was supposed to be a super athlete. I adapt well to sports; I understand principles easily, and can play a pretty decent first game of something. Probably. I have tons of energy and I love the feeling of exhausting my body. But then I couldn't run a 5k fun run without dying. Such is what happened since I was a shy kid back in grade school, a bit of a nerd in high school, and a politician-wannabe in college. I never had time to cultivate my supposedly incredible physical gifts. And now I'm a chubby guy whose only regular thing going is looking for nice places to eat. And find the best burger around. 

Or maybe I'm supposed to be a navigator. I am bad at names of places, but throw me somewhere and I'll figure out a way to go home. No, I am not considering myself to have been a dog in my past life. I love travelling and I am comfortable walking or driving around to discover places or routes. 

Maybe I was supposed to be a rapper. I have a fast mouth that sometimes I can't even keep up with myself. Not to mention shout out profanity to just about anyone and actually make it entertaining rather than insulting. However, I was not blessed with creativity and wit to cook up rhyming words at the end of each line. 

But alas, here I am, a twenty-something still looking for identity in the real world, thinking he can make it without leaving the country. A frustrated writer who may be passionate but can't earn shit writing stuff. An opinionated voice in topics of sports and politics, and a drinking buddy who would probably pass out before everyone else is down. 

But still, I've said before that I am a gambler, and I deal with the hands I am dealt. I blame no one for what I turned out to be, and I don't see myself as a failure despite not turning out to be what I think I'm supposed to be.

After all, I'll never know 'till I cross to the other side, like all those non-Mormons in Southpark.

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I shrink out of shame whenever I meet a new business associate who offers his/her business card and I can't offer mine. In other Asian countries, it is a courtesy to exchange name cards. I may be found to be rude if I can't give my own name card. I can make one, really, but I can't represent my company because I'm not directly hired.

So out of boredom and lack of self-respect, a friend and I talked about me having a Hallmark card as a business card. This way, people won't ever forget who gave them my card. Imagine yourself giving a business card to someone and you get something like this in return:

(Protected my personal info because this site is viewable by all.)

While I don't have a card yet, maybe I'll try to reproduce this piece of crap.