...Christmas passing and the perfect man...

Tita Jean: Christmas na ba?

Tita Jean was the second among the 13 children of my grandmother from my father's side of the family... She was one of those who helped those 12 other siblings of her to finish school and to aspire to be someone... She is loved by all, and a wonderful mother... then sometime in the early 90's, she had a stroke... She lived through it, but half of her body was paralayzed... her left side of the body, that is... So she had to stop working, she was incapable of helping her dear husband cope with everyday needs... and that is why she suffers everyday, i think... not because of her physical pain, but rather because of her incapacity to help, because she has been the one who lifted everyone up when she was able to work...

Despite her condition, she had the ability no one i know possesses: know the birthday of almost everyone in the family... she sometimes forgets your name when you're in front of her, but she will not forget that a birthday is up. at 7AM on your birthday, expect your phone to ring, and don't be surprised because it's her, greeting you a happy birthday in the cheeriest voice you'd hear, and ask you for a blowout...

i think i'm going to miss that the most...

last thursday, she was again confined to the hospital, the 3rd time, i think, over the past couple of months... this time, it was really serious... she could barely talk... she struggles really hard just to breathe, and she normally just sleeps...  but everytime she wakes up, that is the only question that she asks: "Christmas na ba?"

on December 24th, i got  a call from Tita Oyes:

Tita Oyes: wala ako macontact sa inyo.
Me: sorry po, tulog pa ko eh...
Tita Oyes: pwes gumising ka na at pumunta na dito sa ospital. sabi ng doktor baka ngayon na si tita jean...

what words could you possibly say?

We took off, headed straight to the hospital, only to see her struggling to breathe, her right eye bloody red,  her pupils already white, and her skin as yellow a skin may be... It's as if she doesn't see us anymore, but she's hanging tough... i wanted to say goodbye, but i can't find the right words, and i can't bear to see her suffer like that... tears just flowed... while saying the rosary, i could see her eyes watering... she mustered enough strength to lift her hand up, and i pushed my cousin, her eldest son, to her, so that he could hold her hand at that time... i wanted to finish the rosary because she might expire at any time... thankfully, she didn't just yet...

all her siblings were there (except for 1 who went to Bicol to his own family) all 8 of them remaining... but i believe that the 2 others were there too, waiting for her to come with them to that better place where she would suffer no more from her body..  but to me, it seemed like she was just waiting for someone before she left... it was her other brother, Uncle Jer, who just the other day went home to bicol because he had news that she was doing better than the other day... thinking everything was going to be fine, he went ahead, not knowing this would happen... he took the first flight out of legazpi just to try to make it... but what do you know, the plane was recalled to manila for undisclosed reasons... upon letting her know the news, she expired after a couple of minutes...

and now, at least her body rests, her spirit is free, and she can be with all her family whenever she wants to be.. it hurts, but after seeing her suffer, its better this way... she waited for Christmas, and that's it... it's just like her... wanting everyone to be happy even at the gloomiest hour... she chose the perfect day for her to pass, it is the day when everyone is happy together... that's what she would want...



she is survived by three sons, and the most amazing man i know, Tito Manny... Tito Manny was the sole breadwinner, but you would never hear him complain. ever. he kept his solemn promise to Tita Jean of being together through thick and thin... he never left her side... he never went out drinking with us for long.. he would rather stay by Tita Jean's side... No complains. No bitching. No nothing. There was just unconditional love. Stroke or no stroke, he took care of her, and never left her side. The doctors couldn't believe Tita Jean survived this long. If you ask her, this is how she would answer, as she did one time we asked if she was tired: "Pagod na, sobra. Pero kasi, sabi Manny, fight eh."... And that was his mantra everytime to her... fight. and fight, she did... but it had to end some time. And Tito Manny realized that too.. It was only on Saturday night that he decided to let go. Tito Manny has nothing left financially. but that has never been an issue. he could sell all his organs for all he cares just as long as it would suffice to take care of Tita Jean. But we would not let that happen... everyone always tries to chip in somehow to compensate... But that's the kind of guy he is... He decided to let go not because he was giving up on her, but rather because she could feel her suffering, and it's better to have her with the Lord than stay here and suffer physically everyday...

I want to be like him... I can't say I already am, but I want to be... Where the hell can you get a guy like that? He's the kindest, sweetest, guy I've ever met, and he makes mean barbeques and other special dishes... He rarely gets angry especially in front of people, he never asks any help from others as long as he can do it, and he never saw Tita Jean's condition as a chance for him to meet other people... My uncles, my dad, are all good men with unquestionable work ethics and attitudes which made them who they are now, and stand where they are today. they may be great men, but the perfect man i would still say is Tito Manny. They said love won't feed you three times a day... true, but in Tito Manny's case, he'd rather starve than pursue other desires which would keep him away from Tita Jean...


I'm going to miss her dearly... To you who read this, please pray for her... And pleae pray for guidance for Tito Manny, who lost half of his life on the 24th...