...Batangas Getaway Part 3...

Good Morning Harvest

<8:30AM or so>
Volt: Imon, yung Dissidia, kunin mo na.
Imon: O nga pala no. Pakilipat na lang.
Xtian: Ay, rambutan pa pala, baka makalimutan.
Rey: Taire, peram susi, patong kami para mamitas.
Kali: Isa-isa nang maligo para alis na.. Una ka na, Kai.
Volt: Ui, merong Burger Shop sa comp ni Imon! <plays>

<Kali goes next after Arianne goes out.>
<Imon goes next>
Xtian: Maliligo pa ba kayo?
Volt: Oo naman.
Rey: Ako na ah.
<Xtian goes after Rey>

<9:50>
*Silence while everyone's lying on the bed*
Xtian: uhm.. Voltz, kain na tayo?
Volt: Ge, teka lang.

<10:00>
*Random stories, then silence*
Kali: San tayo?
Volt: Bulalo!!
Kali: Lomi na lang.
Volt: Tapos na kami mag-lomi eh.. Bulalo na!
Kali: Eh di maligo ka na. Alas-diyes na kaya.

<10:20>
Volt: <finishes level> Tama na nga to.
Everyone: yes! / hay salamat / whoo! / yown!!

Food Trip Brunch

11 rice
2 bulalo
2 pork bbq
2 liempo
1 kare-kare (na napalitan pa nang madapuan ng langaw)
1 inihaw na tilapia
1 kinilaw na isda
1 bopis
1 laing
4 softdrinks

All for the affordable price of 984PhP

Not in Picture:
Amoy ng bulalo.
Lasa ng pagkain.
Pakiramdam ng pagkabusog

 

 

Pseudo-Visita Iglesia

Xtian: Punta tayong simbahan!
Imon: Saang simbahan mo gusto?
Xtian: Basta sa maganda.
Imon: Ilan bang simbahan gusto mong puntahan?
Xtian: Ok lang kahit isa lang, baka lumampas dasal ko eh.

<Post Church byahe>
Xtian: Ayos pala magpamisa no? 50pesos lang.
Rey: Tapos bente lang nilalagay mo kanina, grabe ka.
Volt: So ano, naiisip mo na ngayon, pag pumasa ka this sem magpapa-misa ka na lang at di na magpapainom? Tipid pa no? Pde ka pa sumigaw "pasado ako! Magpapamisa ako sa tatlong simbahan!!" Big time ka nun.=)
Imon: Volt, liko ka dyan papunta dun sa isang simbahan..
Xtian: Ay shet! Sana pala ndi muna ko nagpamisa dun..
Volt: Bakit, mei quota si Lord seio?

Dessert

 

 

Masarap daw ang bibingka sa lugar na alam ng aming host. Gusto ko sana mag-uwi kaso baka ndi na kasing-sarap ng andun. At hindi ko alam kun sino kakain.=P Next time na lang.=)

 

 

 

 

 

Yun na ang kombinasyong malupit, bibingka at salabat.. =)

 

 

 

Heading Back

Bumalik muna sa bahay nila Imon, pero pumunta rin sa ginagawang bahay nila sa bundok. Doon, inalipusta ng mga bata ang isang kaing ng lanzones. Plastic lang ang katapat.=P Pagkatapos nito, nagka-hati hati na ng plastic ng rambutan at lanzones.

Garapal Moment #2

Imon: San daan nyo?
Volt: Coastal na nga lang, nakakatakot dumaan sa SLEX eh.
Rey: San nyo ko pde ibaba?
Kali: Traffic sa EDSA, tansha ko, mas maganda kung sa Commonwealth na tayo dumaan eh.

On Karma

<Driving at Star Toll>
Rey: Ay pota. Kape ni Marella!
Kali: O nga no.. Sabihin na lang natin nakalimutan..
<text message recieved>
Rey: Pare, di natin pde sabihin na nakalimutan, nagtext eh.
Volt: Dadaan naman tayo dun sa mei Mazapan di ba? Ganun na lang rin ibili natin kei Mare..
<@Mazapan Sweets>
Xtian: Ubos na daw eh, pero meron pa daw isang store dun sa taas.
<@2nd Mazapan Sweets>
Xtian: Ate meron pa po kayong tart?
Ate: Ay, wala na po eh.
Volt: Ang tindi ng dasal ni Mare. Ndi nyo kasi binilhan ng kape eh.
Xtian: Kung bilhan kaya  natin xa ng kape, magbabago kapalaran natin sa tart?

Genius Moment #3

Rey: <Turns off car>
Xtian: Tanong ko muna kung meron pa.
<kwentuhan>
Xtian: Wala na daw eh.
Rey: Asan susi?

Genius Moment #4

Xtian: <driving>
Xtian: <namatayan ng makina>
Volt: Nyeta, anu ba yan...
Xtian: Susi?

Pwet Exercise Route:

From Calamba exit, exit at Sta. Rosa to Tagaytay. Head towards Cavite, then back to Manila via Coastal Road. In this trip, you're sure to have buttaches, possible emo feelings, loss of saliva due to kwento, loss of speaker batteries, a need for gas refill, and an uncontrollable urge to get down from your vehicle to shout at asshole bus drivers.

What you won't find: Comfort rooms. Ask Rey.=))

======================================================

Sa uulitin.=) Sana sumama ang mga gusto sumama para ndi nari-risk na makalimutan un mga nais ipabili kung ndi nakasama.=P

...Batangas Getaway Part 2...

El Madero Rates:

150/head from morning to 3PM
300/head starting from 3PM
700/Cottage

Rates for Getawayers:

Imon, Rey, Volt, Arianne, Xtian =1400PhP (Entrance + Cottage)

Kali, Bryan = 1 Anfra hitch.

 

 

 

<--- Cottages

 

 

 

 

 

On Peace, Love, Happiness

(Flashback, nang nalampasan si Arianne.)
Xtian: Tangina talagang babae sa tollgate.
Volt: Nagtanong ka pa kasi eh.
Rey: Oo nga.
Xtian: Ikaw din Rey, labo mo, nasa likod ka lang ndi ka naman nagsasalita, alam mo naman kung san un.
Rey: Bakit ba, ikaw yung nasa harap, ikaw dapat yung "navigator".
Xtian: Tangina, labo. Basta. Ambobo nung babaeng yun. Dun din tayo pagpasok ulit ng toll ah?
Volt: Tss, peace, love, happiness, Xtian. Let go of anger, hate, and despair..:)
Xtian: Maglalaro na nga lang ako.

Back @ El Madero

Monkey in the middle ang trip na laro, pigskin ang gamit. Parang naawa ako kei Kali dahil papagurin lang xa sa pasahan namin, so bumato ako ng simple lang. Kaso nag-monster talon si Kali, kaya nataya ako. Dapat talaga ndi na ko nakakaramdam ng awa sa ibang tao, kahit sa tong-its "awa" din ang tumatalo sa kin eh.=P

Nang magkatamaran na dahil madilim, saka lang naisip ng mga genius na mag-picture picture. Pero sa totoo lang, isang picture lang naman talaga ang importante eh: ang classic dive ni Xtian Diaz.

Pansinin ang form habang pa-talon na xa. Ay, nakatalon na pala. Yan ang pormang hindi dapat tularan. Ngunit, kung ang hangarin mo talaga eh makipag-apir ang tyan mo sa tubig, pwes, ito ang pormang para seio.=P

 

 

 

Pansinin ang iba't ibang pag-dive.

 

 

 

 

Umiral nanaman pagka-stuntman ko. Ndi ako nakapag-backflip, wala pa kong naiinom na alcohol eh.=P

^ Sama naman daw si Kali. Bihis na si Xtian

 

 

<-- Paparazzi shot daw.=P Artista eh.=))

 

 

          Xempre dapat One for UST -->

 

 

 

Sounds of El Madero

1. Xtian: Ui, anu un? Hala! Panikiii!
2. Xtian: OY SHET SHET!! Umiinom sila ng tubig!!!!!
3. Xtian: Ganito kasi ang tamang pag-dive, ang hihina nyo eh.

A Tale of Bravery

Rey: <points to Xtian's back> uh, Tian,..
Xtian: *panics* Ui putangina SPIDER!!!!!
*laughter at back*
Volt: Nyeta. Spider lang eh, parang mga gago to.
Xtian: Gago, nakakatakot kaya, kanina ko pa kasandal!!!
Volt: Ang lilikot amp, kala mo kun anung nangyari. <Pulls handbrake, picks up slipper>

Volt: Whoa... Bahala kayo sa buhay nyo jan.

Genius Moment #2

Matapos ang nabigong kalbaryo na paghahanap ng bulaluhang meron pang bulalo, napagdesisyunang mag-goto na lang kami sa dinner, at bukas na ng umaga ang bulalo.

Imon: Sakto na 60pesos isang goto tapos dalawang kanin.
Volt: Nag-goto ka tapos magkakanin ka? Labo.
Imon: Iba nga goto dito. Hiwalay ang mga sahog ng goto at sabaw sa kanin..
<goto arrives>

Volt: Ah, astig, ganito pala goto dito.. Iba nga...
Rey: Oo nga no. Di ba sa Maynila noodles ang goto?

Cafe De Lipa

 

Kali: *Takes picture*
Xtian: *Focuses lens*
Counter: <turns to Xtian> Uh, sir, bawal po magpicture sa bar.

Feeling ko discrimination. Meron nang picture si Kali eh.=))

 

Simleng chillax lang, dessert, at naki-wifi. Meron pang isang monster spider ngunit malabo ang camerang nagamit..

 

 

 

Capping off Day 1

Pilian ng "roomies" at ng room pagdating kela Imon. Dahil nakakita ng TV, naisipan namin ni Rey na markahan na ang teritoryo. Si Imon sa kwarto ng lola nya ata, samantalang si Xtian <na gising sa Barako>, Kali, at Arianne ay nagsama sa isang kwarto.

Pinagbigyan kong manalo si Imon sa Fifa 09 para makatulog xa ng maayos (ULOOOOL 8-1? Pinagbigyan?!?!), samantalang si Rey ay nakahiga na..

Naglaro pa ko nang makaalis si Imon, pero nang tamarin na rin dahil wala naman nakakakita ng mga replay ng mga mahusay na goal, natulog na rin ako..

Ang Rey, ayun, madaling araw, nang maalipungatan ako, naglalaro pa. Baka umepekto ung kape.

...Batangas Getaway Part 1...

Usapan: Out of town trip for the long weekend, overnight from Sunday morning to Monday afteroon. Sunday 9am dapat on the way na to Batangas.

Cast:

Imon - The Host

Voltz - Designated Service Provider

Xtian - Resident Genius

Rey - Conyong Bida/The Navigator with the Aviator

Kali - Pasimpleng Garapal/Photographer Extrordinaire

Arianne - The Surprise

Kuya Bry - Cameo

Day 1: Arrival and Chillax

Byahe

Malinis na ang kotse. Wala mang aircon, lalaban naman ito sa malayuang byahe. Ngunit dahil nag-alok ang tito ko na ayusin ang ilaw nung kotseng mei aircon, napalinis ulit ako ng di oras. Nahihiya na ko sa mga kasabay ko, si Xtian na nasa McDo Q.Ave-EDSA na nang mga 8:45, at si Rey na papunta na raw nun mga panahong nagtetext si Xtian na andun na xa.

Sa kabutihang palad, nagawa naman ang ilaw nung kotse, ngunit walang busina. Ginamit ko na lang ang natutunan ko mula sa barkada ni ate pag walang busina ang kotse: ang "kuku" - sumigaw ng "kuku" sa abot ng iyong makakaya upang marinig ng mga nais mong patabihin sa kalsada. 

9:45 na ata nang makarating ako sa McDo Q.Ave. Si Boss Rey, kararating rin lang. Nasabi ko bang si Rey ang nag-suggest na sa lugar na ito na lang imbes na sa Gateway?  Wala lang. Ikaw na ang bida.

Genius Moment Number 1

Xtian: Si Arianne dadaanan natin sa HULING TOLLGATE. May gate dun, lalabas lang xa sa expressway. 

<towards last tollgate>

Xtian: Voltz, sa right side ka lang, tatabi tayo dun sa mei CR eh.

Volt: <opens window to pay>

Xtian: *shouts* Ate, Turbina exit na ba to?

Ate: Ndi pa po sir, derecho pa po. 

Xtian: Ah ok. Derecho pa daw Voltz. <texts Arianne: *Calamba exit pa lang pala kami*>

Arianne: Nyek, nalampasan nyo na kaya ako..

Xtian: Ambobo naman nun tollgate operator!!

<Xtian rants about tollgate operator.>

<Arianne arrives>

Volt: Arianne, anung exit ka dapat?

Arianne: Calamba. Bakit?

Nice, nice. 

Arrival @ Lipa

Sinalubong kami ni Imon sa kabilang dulo ng Star Tollway. Dito, napagdesisyunang hintayin si Kali bago kami mag-Bulalo. Lomi na lang daw muna. 

<--- Lomi house. 

                           Order ni xtian -------->

^ Lomi na malapot. Pero masarap.=)

Garapal Moment #1

Kali: Andyan na sila?

Imon: Oo. San ka na?

Kali: Ah.. uhm.. Tagaytay muna tayo!

Imon: <turns towards others> Tagaytay daw?

Xtian: Tangina. Style ni Kali, papasundo lang yan. 
Volt: Basta tinanung ko kun panu xa punta, sabi nya derecho na daw xa. Eh di pa-derechohin.

Kali: <to Xtian, who's holding the phone> Labo nyo. 

El Madero

Sa payo ng aming butihing host, pumunta kami sa El Madero resort. Magandang lugar naman ito, at para sa 150pesos per head <at 700pesos na cottege> ay hindi na talaga masama. Dito, magpapalipas kami ng oras habang hinihintay si Kali. 

Naisipan muna naming magpasa-pasahan ng football ni Imon. Nang tamarin na dito, nag-basketball naman kami sa court na lupa, at hindi semento ang sahig. 

At dahil wala pa si Kali, photo op muna: 

<--- Xtian catch

Rey catch --> 

<--- Imon catch

^Volt catch

Tapos nang masyadong ma-wili, gumawa na ng mas matinding mga pose para sa camera. Ika nga ni Imon "sacrifice for beauty". 

Imon in "Abutin Mo Kun Kaya Mo"

Xtian in "Right By You!"

Rey in "Sinong Maliit Ngayon, Bitch!"

Volt in "In Your Face"

==============================================================

Matapos ang matinding lokohan sa pictures, sinundo namin ni Imon si Kali at Kuya Bry sa bayan, kun saan natutunan ko kung paano mangotong ang mga pulis na nakatambay at nag-aantay ng mga jeep na maaaring kotongan. Dito rin sa lugar na ito ako nakakita nga mga bangaw na mas malusog pa sa aso namin. Nahiya tuloy ako kumain ng fishball.:P 

Sa ngayon, eto na muna. Hindi na gumagana utak ko para i-post silang lahat eh.. =p 

...To My Dreamgirl...

"Eh,di ba the best way to forget 

someone is to meet someone else?"

-6/27/09,a couple of LRT Stations 

away from Caloocan Rotonda,

around 11:05PM

Hi.. It's been a while since we last talked. I miss you, really. I still catch myself smiling at the thought of you: at the thought of spoken words, of quiet moments, of your smile, heck, even your old messages. Listening to songs I shared with you make me remember that short time we were together.  I still make it a point to have a pack of Mentos gum in my bag, as I was always intrigued at how long you chew your gum. There are still places I can't stand to go to because it makes me want to wish that you're gonna be there.

I just wanted you to know that you are my dream girl. You are everything I ever wanted in a girl, almost too perfect. Effortlessly, you made my world stop, and I didn't care, as nothing else mattered when I was with you.

I'm thankful to have spent a little while with you, to have risked falling for someone I most probably wouldn't be with, to have been appreciated the way that you did, and to actually feel like I mattered the way that you did to me.

Real or not, I have come to terms with the fact that you are what you are: a dream, an ideal being that's perfect for me; someone that seemed real, but not a reality.

I didn't want to let go, I wanted to keep on dreaming. Even my phone randomly displays your old messages together with a new message from someone else. But like any other dream, one has just got to wake up. And as it seems, you forced me to wake up. And slapping me to wake up wasn't enough for you, you had to throw a bucket of boiling water.

I'm wide awake now, thank you. Even my phone doesn't do that random thing anymore. I can move forward. I'm hurt, yes, but like all wounds, it'll heal. No, there weren't any commitments made, and yes, it was a mistake of too much assumptions. I'd say I may have reasons to assume what I did, but hey, assumptions are assumptions: they're only right in your mind.

You know what's great about this, is at least I can keep one promise to you (well, other than the pinky swears we had): you'll always be my Chuck; the love of my life that I'll never get to touch.

If you decide to visit my reality again, I hope you'd still have Bumblebee. You know where to find me.:)

I just hope that I would meet you again in another lifetime, when circumstances are better.

For this lifetime, all I can say is that nobody decides how you would be happy except yourself. Despite my insistence that I may be the one to keep you happy, I know that I'm only pursuing my own happiness. For whatever choice you have made, I just hope that you're happy, because I'll be, with this decision to wake up.:)

You may live by the words you uttered, but like I said to you a million times before, I didn't want to meet you to forget, I wanted to meet you because I wanted to know who you are, that girl I can't stop looking at. It doesn't matter if I meet someone else, I'll never forget you, as I never forgot who you thought I should forget. People are not things that you simply throw away and forget. Memories of the best times of your life are not meant to be just forgotten as if they never happened. 

I'm thankful for everything that has happened, and everything that never was, or never would. Like pictures, burning them doesn't erase the fact that it indeed happened. Thank you for what did, and good luck for what you'll have.

Til then.:)

...On "Love at First Sight"...

"Met her at a carnival fair,
She wore a green dress and everybody was there,
Felt out of place when she looked into my eyes..."
                                         Girl On TV, LFO

It's been long argued if falling in love "at first sight" can truly be genuine. It normally starts with physical attraction, it has to, since you wouldn't look at someone you don't like looking at. Then there's a feeling of wanting keep looking at the person, hence, you think it's love, but it's probably infatuation, mere physical attraction, or a even a challenge that you might be able to hook up with him/her.

These things, one only learns after something actually becomes of the "first sight" thing. They'd tell their friends that "it was love at first sight" while they're happy, and will dismiss it as nothing more than infatuation, confusion, or even just plain physical attraction when they decide to end it all.

So now, I was asking myself, what is an ideal manner in which you might meet your "true" love?

If you meet in a bar, have fun, make a relationship out of it, would you be able to handle her occassional pleas for a "girls' night out" with friends, knowing full well that you met her in the same manner?

If you meet her at a drinking session and eventually end up together, would you be so clingy as to be there whenever she says she's gonna go out to drink?

If you meet her in a library, or someplace you don't normally go to, do you think you can actually work out, knowing that you don't have the same interests and that you're only interested in what she's interested in because you're interested in her?

The point is, if you meet him/her somewhere that you enjoy, it's not hard to imagine him/her meeting someone in a similar fashion. If you meet him/her somewhere you don't, then it seems your thing wasn't meant to last anyway.

Wala lang. Random thought. Feeling ko mahaba pa to at mas mei sense, but somehow, I got lost in my train of thoughts, and ended up with this. Sayang naman kung ndi ko pa i-post..

...A Place to Call My Own...

Now that I'm actually single-single, I get to go out with friends I didn't have the chance to go out with much before. I've come to terms with myself to not push myself to people who don't want me to be part of their lives. There are 8 billion people living in this world; I don't need my world to revolve around one person who doesn't want a moon.

I know I've blogged about one's place in the world before, but it's just now that I think I figured out what I want to say.

There are friends around you, and there are your best friends. Ah yes, the "best friend". A friend is a friend, but a "best friend" is cut above the rest. Now, personally, I think it's somewhat of a subjective term until it's confirmed. For example, a person may be your best friend, but to that person, you're not. You may share certain bonds, but you're not the twin he/she never had, something that people-percieved "best friends" seemingly are.

These people-percieved "best friends" are those that talk without words coming out of their mouths, understand each other by mere phrases, have unbreakable habits (even a freakin high-five to call their own), is a normal face at each others houses, and knows at least 98% of what's going on in the other's life. It borders an actual romantic relationship.

Hence, if people-percieved "best friends" are male and female, most of the time, people tease them a lot. In rare times, the "best friends" remain "best friends" by choice of one (see "My Best Friend's Wedding").

The case of male and male "best friends" is contained in single, all-knowing book, called "The Bro Code".

The female and female "best friends" is the more ideal "best friends" scenario. The cheesiness, the fights, the "ESP", the sleepovers, etc..

So now, despite the multitude of friends, despite the countless bottles of beer, despite the never ending exchange of stories from people around, I feel alone. And now I understand why I hated being single. I am no longer significant. Friends and family may argue that I am to them, to some extent, but aren't we all? Someone has to be the guy to take out the trash, someone's the designated driver, someone's got to be the guy who never runs out of stories, someone's got to be object of insults, someone's got to be the person that can be pushed to the stage to sing for a crowd. Everyone has their roles, as I have mine. But at the end of the day, I want to be as significant to a person as she is to me. THAT makes me feel significant.

By analogy, it goes like this: James Posey was a vital ROLE player in the Miami and Boston teams that won the championships. But after those championships, he was let go by both teams, because of either team direction or financial decisions. Today, both teams are relatively looking good, as they have filled the void left by their role player.

Now, Memphis had a franchise player in Pau Gasol. They weren't a contending team, but they were a relatively good team, good enough to make the playoffs (though never won a game there). Then they make that controversial trade of sending Gasol off to the Lakers for a flop in Kwame Brown, and a couple of draft rights. Since then, Memphis has been fighting to not be the last team in the league.

My point is, any role player can be replaced, and life goes on. It may be different from before, but life goes on. But if you lose a franchise player, it's gonna be a difficult climb to get back on top. But if the glue that held the whole group together should be gone, everything's gonna fall apart.

Hence, I feel insignificant. I play a role in people's lives, but I am a certain kind of person to them; the portalet, the philo guy, the emo dude, the gamer, the drinking buddy, the financier, name it. It was never that way when I was in a relationship. During those times, someone cared for what I wanted to say no matter how random it was, someone laughed at jokes my friends would need a long back story for, someone sought me when she was in trouble, someone was there when I pictured what the future might be, someone said "I love you too" when I said "I love you",  someone had me on top of her list if she had an invitation for two. Now, I wander people's lives, trying to build a foundation in which I can be significant in their lives and not just play a role.

You'd feel reality kind of slap you a bit when you see the lines that you might be crossing. For instance, reading exchanges you have no idea of, not being given the confidence to drive, being called after everyone's there already, etc.. As it seems, you may be in the loop, but there are other "loops" that people are part of; you may be seen as responsible, but clearly, to them you're not; and you were the last person they remembered calling.

But, hey, I'm not monopolizing here. Despite her agreement with the "bye balloon" statement and the disconnection from the networks thing, I think she's having her own problems as well. We've been together for so long, it's like we're still both trying to learn to walk again. I could be wrong though. I'm just saying, she's much a victim here as I portray myself to be.

For Canada, well, it was fun while it lasted. But apparently, it wasn't supposed to.

And now, I know better than to assume that I'm this or that person's best friend or not. I take what is given, I don't push for what's not. For now, it's ok that I have my best friends, reciprocated or not. Article 145: A Bro is never offended if another bro fails to return a phone call, text, or email in a timely fashion.

But of course, eventually, I'd like to be more than that. I want to be someone's franchise player again. To be reciprocated. To be... Significant.

...On Inspiration...

I read an article that Conrado de Quiroz wrote sometime last week about why Noynoy should run for president. That was after I read the letter of Ninoy to Noynoy which was posted practically everywhere by tons of people.

Having said that, I was thouroughly convinced by Mr. de Quiroz on his reasons on Noynoy's candidacy. I read it once, and did not memorize it by heart, so if there are those who actually read the article and is now reading this, and probably see some similarity, I will not deny that the idea was not originally mine. Giving credit to the genius where it came from.

Upon reading the letter to Noynoy, I felt that, despite Kris' comic plea to Noynoy to never marry, Noynoy needed to have a son. In the letter, Ninoy had something to the effect of "I have more obligations than possessions. I don't have anything for you to inherit, but my name, the name passed on to me by my father, and the name that I took care of for it not to be tarnished by anything." That was enough of a contribution Noynoy could possible give the Filipino people, I thought, knowing somehow, he doesn't have the tools to become the president of the country. I just wanted Ninoy's legacy to live. And if anything else, his name was a legacy.

Then I got to read Conrado de Quiroz's editorial. Come to think of it, why not Noynoy for president? We are going to have our democratically-given right to vote for the next leader of the country when GMA (insert either *finally* *hopefully* *rightfully*) steps down on 2010. Her leaving office is something we all agree on happening. Despite the millions (if monetary, wala lang naman, sabi ni Cerge Remonde) and millions of controversies she's been through, she has stayed in power. I blame it on either:

a. The Filipino people getting too tired to go out and shout only to go home accoplishing nothing but recognized noise.

b. The same Filipinos who went out for EDSA 2 doesn't want to accept the fact that they made a mistake by placing her in power.

c. The lack of an inspirational leader (Cardinal Sin was the common denominator for both EDSA 1 and 2)

d. The lack of a clear-cut replacement who everyone is confident of.

e. Too much politicking among leaders. (If FPJ or Ping Lacson slid down to VP last elections, I don't see why they can't win).

f. GMA's strong hold on the military leaders.

And now, as election day draws near, everybody has something to say about everybody. As it seems, nobody's really good enough. People seem to choose who they'd vote for by either choosing the candidate that may put them at an advantage or he/she who has been built up by the media as a good guy. Hence, cheesy people look up to the Mar and Korina love story(cheesy I may be, but I'm not a Mar Roxas fan), while some look up at the inspirational story of how Manny Villar was a poor-man-turned-rich. The youth actually look up to Chiz because he talks well. Binay, just because of people I know, seems a strong choice. I don't get how buddha beads would work but, apparently, that's Jamby's weapon. Bayani was a good mayor in Marikina until he became a joke as the MMDA chief, especially as of late. Erap's still got a following.

Then you hear that Mar Roxas is making waves through showbiz, Manny Villar had a controversial deal, Binay would only work in Makati, Chiz is all talk, and Erap will not work anymore.

Apparently, no one's good enough for everyone. Whoever wins will be tainted in some way that people will still have something to say.

In comes the idea of Noynoy. He's not the perfect candidate, actually, he doesn't even look the part. But apparently, he's probably the best choice there is. He's can be the inspirational leader we could all back to win. Tita Cory wasn't the strongest president that led the country, but she was able to handle it. Why can't Noynoy?

We can't have a half-hearted choice to become president. We need to make a definite choice. But if that choice we're making is just a result of choosing from the least among evils, then we never really gave our country that much hope. You just passed the burden of responsibility to your leader, to make him/her prove themselves when they're there. Then, if they fail, what do you? Rant? Leave the country?

Noynoy, as I mentioned, may not be the strongest among them, but inspirationally, we can all support him, knowing full well that he may be placed there not because of his abilities, but moreso because of the name he carries with him (just calling a spade a spade). And when people believe in their leader, I think it helps us move forward.

Ang pagboto sa nagsasabing sila ang nararapat na maluklok sa pwesto ay pagbotong tamad, sapagkat nais mong mapatunayan nya sa iyo na kaya niyang tugunan ang mga problema ng bansa. Ngunit ang pagboto sa isang insipirasyong si Noynoy ay pagboto sa pag-asa, na alam mong hindi niya kakayanin kung hindi siya susuportahan ng taumbayang nagluklok sa kanya sa puwesto.

 

Para sa pag-asa, para sa pagkakabuklod ng bansa, sana, sana talaga, tumakbo si Noynoy.

...Recipies...

My Numb-Emo-Naturally Happy state, and the fact that I'm bored out of my brains here in the office, makes my mind wander elsewhere and come up with crazy recipies of mine. Meant to entertain. Enjoy!

==================================================================

1. Getting What You Want

Ingredients:

6 numbers
1 lotto ticket
100% luck

============================

Procedure:

1. Buy ticket.
2. Input numbers.
3. Hope for the best.

(Note: Doesn't always work. Things mess up at #3. Notify me when you got it right.=P)

***********************************************************

2. Sweet Tooth

Ingredients:

3 Long bars, 3 Musketeers chocolate bar.
500ml water
1 good book or 1 good show

====================================

Procedure:

1. Open bar of chocolate.
2. Enjoy and induldge in the chocolate over choclate goodness.
3. Occassional water breaks in between bars, or 1 full gulp in the end. You wouldn't want the chocolate washed down immediately.

(note: Cartoons and comics are best suggested for the ultimate "kid" feeling)

***********************************************************

3. Beef Lover

Ingredients:

1 Big Burger
(Suggestions: Wendy's Hamburgers' Baconator, Jollibee Champ, Burger Avenue's Ridiculous Burger, Burger King's Angus Beef Burger, Brother's Burgers' big burger which I forgot the name of, McDonald's Double Quarter Pounder, Tropical Hut's Ranchero Burger, Banchetto's monstrous-looking burgers. There are a couple more I tasted, I think, but for now, those are the burgers I remember.)

1 Large Coke
1 Companion

*Optional:
Mustard

===================================

Procedure:

1. Choose burger joint.
2. Buy the biggest burger there is.
*If option was chosen, draw a happy face on your pattie using the mustard.=) Big eyes and smile encouraged.
3. Enjoy every big bite.
4. Occassionally turn to companion to say "dude, ang sarap nito."

(Note: Can be done without companion. But isn't it much better to have someone there to say that line to rather than just breathing heavily with your eyes closed while taking a bite at that juicy burger?=P)

******************************************************************

4. Contentment

Ingredients:

1 Girl
Infinite Patience
N-number of Apologies
Moderate Cheesiness
Occassional Surprises

==========================================

Procedure:

1. Meet girl.
2. Test patience.
3. Use cheesiness. But not too much. It might become a joke.
4. Surprise girl occassionally. If cheesiness has become a joke, it will be difficult to surprise girl.
5. Apologize if something goes wrong.
*If "ego" is mixed to the equation, everything blows up.

Warning:
Clinginess leads to complications.

(Note: Lasts about 4 1/2 years.)

*******************************************************************

5. Bliss

Ingredients:

1 Canadian

==========================================

Procedure:

1. Get Canadian to come back to you.

********************************************************************

6. Release

Ingredients:

1 Car
1 Pack Mentos Gum
1 Traffic-less road.
1 PSP/Music Player
1 FM Transmitter

===========================================

Procedure:

1. Plug music player to FM Transmitter.
2. Turn radio on to FM Transmitter signal.
3. Chew gum.
4. Drive on road.

(Note: Look for noisy cars and pseudo-race with them. If you have a not-so-fast car, take them on in light traffic. It will frustrate the hell out of them to your pleasure.=P)

*********************************************************************

7. Belongingness

Ingredients:

1 Ice Cream
N-Number of Friends
A dose of Emo
A bunch of Laughter

===========================================

Procedure:

1. Go to Icebergs Tomas Morato.
2. Text a couple of friends who could make it.
3. Go emo. But not too long.
4. Share laughter.

(Note: Don't order milkshake. Ever. Unless you're 2 tumblings away from your house.)

********************************************************************

8. Triumph

Ingredients:

Lower Box Tickets
UST Game vs Ateneo*
Unbreakable Voicebox
Tons of Energy
Infinite vocabulary of curses
Basketball knowledge

*It's not as sweet if it's not Ateneo.

===========================================

Procedure:

1. Buy tickets.
2. Find your seat in Araneta.
3. Cheer like there's no tomorrow.
4. Curse at refs for bad calls.
5. Curse at Mirza for bad decisions.
6. Curse at Fortuna for turning the ball over.
7. Shout at Ababou to get his act together.
8. Hope for the best.*

*"Best", in this context, is a blowout win vs Ateneo.

(Note: Before cheering "e-yo" or "animo cheers", keep Game 1 of the last championship by UST in mind, AND the 17-point comeback by DLSU just this season. The game is not over til the final buzzer sounds.)

*********************************************************************

9. Risk

Ingredients:

1 Table
2 Other players
1 Deck of Cards
about 500pesos
Heart
An irritating laugh
A witty comeback for every insult thrown at you

*Optional:
Wingman

===========================================

Procedure:

1. Get players together.
2. Challenge to a game of tong-its.
3. Take chances. Have heart.
4. Take insults and make a comeback.
5. Laugh at random times using irritating laugh that they might not figure out how your cards are turning out.
*If option is taken, laugh and high five with wingman if you get the best or worst card for your hand. Wingman can also shoot insults or scream excitement.

(Note: Best played with family. Para pde utang.)

*********************************************************************

10. Recreation

Ingredients:

1 Basketball Court
1 Ball*
Playing clothes
At least 4 other players
An opposing team

*Important! There moments of great genius when all players have everything they need to play except for the ball.=P

===============================================

Procedure:

1. Change to playing clothes.
2. Transform to playing self.
3. Play heart out until legs give up.

****************************************************************************

11. Brounion

Ingredients:

N-number of Buckets of Beer*
N-number of Bros
Nibbles**
Cellphone

*Can be coffee
**Dispensible if coffee option is taken

==================================================

Procedure:

1. Find a good place to drink.
2. Get cellphone to check out who among Bros are available to drink.
3. Order a bucket. Repeat if done.
4. Order nibbles. Preferably something everyone can share.
5. Have a good time.
6. It's time to stop when somebody either:

a. Pukes.
b. Is red all over.
c. Is speaking in English when they normally don't.
d. Picks a fight with the other table/waiter.
e. Is closing his/her eyes.
f. Tells you that the place is closing.

(If coffee option was taken, it's time to stop by 11PM. Of course the coffee option wasn't made to be a Friday/Saturday choice. It could also stop at the declaration of one that he/she needs to take a dump.)

7. You are in deep shit if somebody:

a. gets puked on.
b. apparently has a health condition that prohibits him/her from drinking alcohol
c. is speaking in Spanish.
d. fights back.
e. has to be carried home.
f. actually closes the place.

(Note: Number of Bros doesn't matter. Additionally, Article 22 of the Bro Code states that "There is no law that prohibits a woman from being a Bro.")

(Note #2: Upon informing all bros of whereabouts, the cellphone is best kept in the bag to avoid unnecessary calls, messages, or even just the chance to look at the time.)

...On Niceness, and One's Spot in the World...

Good things happen to good people, they say. That's probably true on some occassions. But most of the time, these "good" people gets screwed over. Watch "Wow Mali!" or any gag show. Those who try to help the prankster end up being the object for laughter. Prank callers usually get their fill with people who actually answer calls.

Now, I go to the assholes, those who don't care about the rest of the world, just themselves. They don't get sucked in to a gag show prank because even if the prankster's bleeding to death, the asshole won't bother even coming near. Prank callers don't even get to have a chance to spill their punchline because the asshole dropped the call.

Come to think of it, assholes somehow have the life.

I think I can claim that I'm generally a good guy. I was brought up being educated with the life of St. Lorenzo Ruiz, inspired by the teachings of St. John Bosco, enlightened by some works of St. Thomas of Aquinas, and influenced by my parents' struggles. Much of an ass I may be, I know where to draw the lines. I degrade people (without their knowledge most of the time) for the intention of having fun, but not to blatantly spit at their whole being. I've been in trouble for doing that to either sensitive or relatively new acquiantances, but anyone who knows me, especially the Team, knows that it's all in the name of fun. I know my flaws and can laugh at them as well, so it doesn't really matter if people start shooting insults at me. It's just a matter of whose head blows up first.

Relationship-wise, first-hand experience from my mom taught me how to take care of a woman. I think that somehow, I inherited her being emotional, and how to love and trust that one person she thought was "the one". The difference between her and me, however, is that she's such an introvert who never really had friends, while I think I inherited my dad's ability of talking to just about anyone.

Hence, I've always had the idea that that person I'm pursuing is the person I'm gonna be with for the rest of my life. I've had 2 serious relationships in my life, and wanted to throw everything I had known as my life for a third one, but nothing apparently worked out.

The first, ended up with distance, but later on I found out it was because of another guy. The second one ended for reasons that seemed mutual then, but later seemed incomprihensible, and now probably irreparable. The almost-not-quite ended with three statements: "You're acting as if we're a couple. And I hate it. Bye." It was as brief as the time we spent together.

This sucks, really. It should've just ended when she left. At least that was a decent goodbye. But I thought she was my dream girl. And when you have a grasp on your dream, you don't let go of it. I didn't. Despite the infinite barriers that come between us, I didn't want to let go of it. It was illogical, pointless, and nonsensical. But wasn't that how love was supposed to work? It didn't always have to make sense, it just had to be something you wanted to do.

Going back to assholes and nice people, I think this isn't working out for me. I don't like to flirt around because it's not me, even if my bloodline proves otherwise. Heck, I'm named after my grandfather, for crying out loud. Blame it on me inheriting my mom's emotions, but I never saw women as tools. I know assholes who'd take what they want in a girl and leave them as soon as a new flavor comes along. Somehow, I'm being given the impression that that's how the world should work: You either eat or be eaten, kill or be killed, leave or be left.

Frankly, I don't seem to understand how relationships should work. I was told not to look too far ahead of the future, but being short-sighted shows your lack of commitment to what you have. I was told to be there for your other half, but sooner or later, you'd be labelled as being too clingy. Long distance relationships never work out, they say. But, isn't it that relationships are supposed to be up to the people involved in it? Come to think of it, short or no-distance relationships wouldn't work too, if the people in it don't want to make it work.

So the difference between being nice and being an asshole works this way: the nice person will be sulking at his loss, while the asshole shrugs his shoulder and moves on to the next.

Tell me then, aside from the mystical ideas of heaven, karma, and reincarnation, what good does being good bring?

==================================================================

A Spot in the World

There was a time in life where I knew my definite place in the world. I am a friend of all and the love of one. But one shift made it all so blurry.

When before I didn't have much need for my friends except for occassional drinking sessions, watching games, playing games, and talks because I had everything I needed in one person, now, I seem to be lost in trying to figure out what kind of friend I've been to my friends for me to be part of their world as much as I want them to be part of mine.

From what I've learned, assuming your spot doesn't work out too well.

I thought I was part of the reason she wanted to go home. I assumed I was the person she was waiting for when she was online and I wasn't. I assumed that we shared something. I assumed that she thought I was worth it. Because she was. Because I thought we did. Because I always wait for her to go online. Because I wanted her to be back here, so that I can be with her.

But apparently, we're not the same person. We don't feel the same things. The consequences of the actions of another generate different reactions from different people.

I trust people easily. I always believed that if you don't screw a person over, that person will treat you the same way. It's hard for me not to trust, to assume goodness in another person, and thus to expect goodness in return.

Assuming begets expectations, and when expectations don't materialize, you're bound to be broken.

Now to keep friendship, I must elevate Article 145 of the Bro Code to one of my life's priorities.

===================================================================

Hay.. Pag walang ginagawa sa office. Tsk.

...On Facebook and Technology, Status Updates, and Emo-ing...

I was listening to the morning show on Magic earlier today, as my normal day usually goes. Then this girl calls up and she sounds hot. And she has that voice that doesn't just sound hot, hers was like it's impossible to have an ugly face with that voice. Then the hosts ask for her Facebook account.

Looking back, I met my first girlfriend through texting. I met a couple other female friends in the same manner. And out of 4 who I thought would look attractive, only my first gf would hit the mark. The other 3? Well. 

They sounded good, my first gf actually gave my number to someone who had a high pitched, soft voice who'd pass as a hot sounding chic if not for my Don Bosco-infused skill of knowing a gay guy miles away.

Now, as it seems, the kids no longer have the luxury of excitement, of the mystery of what the person on the other end might look like before they actually meet in person. The "grand eyeball" for chatrooms no longer have much sense, because of the advent of that which we call networking sites, namely, Facebook, Multiply, and whatever.

Now, before anyone makes a move on someone, you gotta look at their page to see if you'd like them.

Technology also seems to have somehow eliminated some plots for movies. Case in point: one time in the series Tayong Dalawa, Kim Chiu's dad and Jodie Sta Maria had a huge fight, which led to Jodie leaving their house. Now, what seems absurd in that scene was that Kim was crying like she'd never get to see Jodie again, when there are so many ways to keep in touch.

Cellphones and the Web have made communication so much easier for us now, that it's almost impossible to just disappear from one's life once you've become part of it.

It's a double-edged sword really.

=============================================================

On Status Updates

When you fill something official up, there's a part there where you have to indicate your marital status:

Single
Married
Widowed

In no f'n official document would you see something that says "it's complicated". What the hell is so complicated with what you have? You're not even married.

Fine, I will put into consideration that that status is reserved for my uncle. He's not married, has a some kids with a couple of women (that I know, if there are others, I am not aware of it yet), but has been going steady with one woman for the longest time. THAT is f'n complicated.

But to say that you're "in a complicated relationship", I don't know, is it really THAT complicated or do you just want people to notice your new status? It's either you're in a relationship or you're not. Anything else in between, it's not that complicated.

=================================================================

Emo-ing

(Usual emo-rant. Turn back now.)

I don't know where I'm at right now, or where I should be. I assume that I was the one she was waiting for when she was online and I wasn't. I assume that she wants to talk to me. I assume that she wants to come back for me. I assume that I'm part of whatever decision she decides is best for her. I assume that I matter. Because she does to me.

I hear her, and I think I get what she's saying, but I don't want to understand what she's saying, I don't want to believe that she's saying it unless she says it outright.

Who I knew was a person so honest with her feelings now seems to put me in a guessing game.

I was never too much of a looks-person. I hate make up. What's crappy is that I can't hold her since she went back to Canada, and now, I don't even get to see her no matter what I do?

I need to wake up from my dream, but I just don't seem to want to let it go...

...Pangingialam ng Pakialamero: Shortcuts

Akalain mong naging series na to. Pasensya, napagtanto ko lang na marami palang maaaring pakialaman sa mundong ibabaw, mga bagay na marahil nakakaburat pero di na mawawala sa sistema ng tao, kaya kailangang matutunan na lang siguro.

Isa na sa mga bagay na ito ang mga shortcuts. May mga mangmang sa mga terminolohiyang napasikat marahil ng chatrooms o ng text messaging. Isa na ko sa mga mangmang na ito.

Kaya para sa mga hindi pa "in", maglilista na ko dito ng mga terminolohiyang natutunan ko na para ndi nyo na itanong pag nagamitan kayo nito minsan.

1. LOL - Laughing Out Loud

Minsan, maaari kang mapaaway kung gamitin mo ito sa mangmang, dahil aakalain nyang minumura mo xa. Kung ikaw yung mangmang na yun, eto na ang edukasyon para sa iyo. Natutuwa lang sa iyo ang taong kausap mo, kaya "Out Loud" ang pagtawa nya. Pero marahil, ulol ka rin.

Mapapaisip ka rin kun ano ibig sabihin ng "Z" sa LOLZ. Pa-cool ba ito na "s" para ipahiwatig na maraming beses xang tumatawa "out loud"? Nais ba nyang sabihin na "ulol kayong lahat" dahil naka-plural form ang "lol"?

2. OMG - Oh My God

Nakilala marahil ng husto ito dahil sa mga sosyal na babaeng maarte. Isa sa mga pinaka-karaniwang ginagamit na shortcut ito, na minsa'y nagiging katatawanan na lang. Ito'y ginagamit upang ipahiwatig ang pagkagulat.

Mei ibang paraan na rin ito ginagamit, dinadagdagan ng "F" ng mga mahilig magmura upang maging OMFG, pag sukdulan ng pagkagulat ang naranasan ng tao.

3. BRB - Be Right Back

Madalas makita ang shortcut na ito sa mga IM, lalo na ng mga taong ndi nag-ooffline. Pag kakain, maliligo, tatae, o kung ano pa man, ito ang iniiwang status ng mga taong ito..

4. PM - Personal Message

Karugtong madalas ng BRB, ang PM ay isang paraan upang makausap mo ang taong wala pa sa kasalukuyan, o di kaya'y upang makausap mo ng pribado.

Ewan ko, mei nagtatanong pa kasi sa kin minsan kung ano yung "PM" eh. Palibhasa un tabloid lang alam na "PM".

5. BTW - By The Way

Sa text ito madalas gamitin. Kailangan ito sa pagpapalit ng topic ng usapan o di kaya'y magsabi ng isang bagay na wala naman talaga sa usapan.

6. GTG - Got To Go

Kung kailangan nang umalis ng tao, tanggapin mo nang ito lang ang sasabihin nya, at wag mo nang tanungin kun anung ibig sabihin nito.

7. ROFL - Rolling On (the) Floor Laughing

Next level ng LOL. Nakahiga ka na sa kakatawa.

8. LMAO - Laugh(ing) My Ass Out

Next level ng ROFL. Wala ka nang pwet.

9. GG - Good Game

Sa DoTA lang naman ito madalas gamitin. Pag olats na, "GG" na, para makarami, quit na lahat o tapusin na agad ang laro.

10. TTYL - Talk To You Later

Di ko alam kun mei gumagamit nito, pero kun magamitan ka man nito, at least ngayon, alam mo na.

11. WB - Welcome Back

Kung nag-MiRC ka, alam mo marahil ito. Siguro ginagamit rin to sa ibang mga conference o chatrooms, pero sa MiRC ko unang natutunan ko. Salamat kei Katre na blast from the past na ginamitan ako ng "weebee" nang ma "DC (disconnect. sobrang mangmang mo na kun ndi mo pa alam to kaya nga ndi ko na sinama sa listahan eh)" ako.

12. OTP - On The Phone

Isa pa to. Ndi ko alam kun mei gumagamit talaga, pero dahil 3 letters rin lang xa tulad ng iba, baka gamitin din ito sa iyo minsan.

13. BFN - Bye For Now

Ibang paraan upang sabihing GTG.

14. WTF - What the F*ck

Medyo nagmumura kasi kaya nandito na ito, pero isa din ito sa mga common na gamitin ng mga tao ngayon. Ginagamit ko rin minsan dahil feeling ko nakakatawa ako.

Ang nais ipahiwatig ng shortcut na ito ay pagkagulat rin, pero pagkagulat sa isang bagay na ndi maintindihan, kaya napapamura.

Meron din FTW, na sinasabi ng iba ay "For The Win". Pero minsan ndi ko maintindihan ang paggamit ng mga tao dito, kaya minsan ay nagkakaroon ako ng ideya na "F*ck The What?" ang ibig sabihin nito.

Pero sino ba naman ako para husgahan ang totoong ibig sabihin nito? Isang hamak na pakialamero lang naman.

15. IDK - I Don't Know

Isang tao pa lang naman ang gumagamit sa kin nito, ngunit inisip ko pa rin kung anong ibig sabihin nito. Ngayon, dahil nalaman ko na, ay shinishare ko sa iyo upang maging handa ka na pag nagamit seio ang shortcut na ito.

Nagpapahiwatig ang shortcut na ito ng pagka-speechless ng isang tao.

16. KMN - Kill Me Now

Ito rin, sa isang tao ko pa rin lang naman nababasa. Pero dahil meron daw KMA na "Kiss My Ass", baka matulad ka kei Tring na iniisip na "Kiss My Neck" ang ibig sabihin nito at nasampal mo ang kausap mo.

Nais lamang ipahiwatig ng shortcut na ito ang emosyong "ako na, sige na, kasalanan ko na."

17. IMO - In My Opinion

Ndi ko alam kung mei gumamit na nito sa akin, pero tulad ng argumento ko sa ibang nailagay ko dito, 3 letters lang kasi, kaya marahil darating ang panahon na mei gagamit nito sa akin.

18. CTC - Care To Chat?

Muntik ko nang makalimutan, pahabol na lang. Ito'y madalas na intro ng mga strangers sa mga taong mukhang hottie ang nickname. At ito'y susundan ng tanong na:

19. ASL - Age, Sex, Location

Minsan sinasamahan din ng "N" para parang biodata na agad ang usapan ninyo.

=================================================================

Special Mention:

AWHFY - Are We Having Fun Yet?

Sa videoke ko lang nababasa ang katagang ito. Ndi ko alam kung ano natira ng kaibigan ni Tring at nasama sa listahan ito.

Eh di sana sinama ko na yung ITALY (I Trust And Love You) at JAPAN (Just Always Pray At Night).

==================================================================

Dahil isa itong topic of national interest, dagdagan nyo na lang kun mei nakaligtaan pa ko.

 

 

..Chasing Dreams, Reaching Stars...

As a kid, you've probably been asked a million times; "what do you want to be when you grow up?"

 

Possible answers range from your parents' jobs to being a doctor(to help people/because of the cool white coats), a policeman(for the action),an actor/actress (because the adults kept feeding the kid's ego too much), etc..

 

And now that you've grown up, there's a good chance that you're not what you wanted to be when you were a kid. Your kid self, upon seeing you now, would probably ask what the hell you're doing. You, on the other hand, would probably just say that "at least it pays".

 

We live in a happy third world country. We live in a place where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. We don't get much opportunities to pursue our dreams. But we're happy, not because we have a good life financially, but rather because we just laugh at problems we can't really solve.

 

I guess that's probably why thousands line up for Starstruck/PDA/Big Brother or whatever reality show there is, why almost all households bet on the big lotto pots, and why everyone's bolting out of the country. They want to pursue their dreams where opportunity presents itself.

 

It's not everyday that you get the chance to make your dream a reality. They always say, "reach for the stars" because that way, you can chase something you can't catch. But if you do get that chance, do you let it pass and hope another dream comes up, or do you do anything you can to "reach" that "star" or "catch" that "dream"?

 

I think it's this thought that makes me so hung up with a girl I had a grand total of 4 dates with.. She was kind of like my dream girl.. I don't have much ambition, so I guess she's the closest thing to "ambition" that I can get. She was nothing but fiction, an idea of a girl that i liked. Then June 20 came, and fiction became flesh.. Well, it became more and more apparent as days progressed. But we were racing against time, she was leaving soon.

 

And now that it's been more than a month since she left, I'm still trying to believe that there's a chance that my dream may become a reality.. It's probably too removed from actuality, since she does have her own dreams (she got accepted in the university she wanted to go to) and I didn't want to be that roadblock that's going to derail her dreams.

 

But I want to try to do what I can to make this pointless dream work.. Because once in my life it actually happened, and though there's probably only 1 in a billion chance that it's gonna happen again, I'd want to see what my chances are.

 

...like the millions that line up everyday for lotto, for reality shows and whatnot, I want to be that lucky dude who gets the big break.

 

I just wish i could deal with the heartbreak of losing.

 

How do you let go of a dream that was within your grasp?

..."Mom, I'm sorry I lied" - Kris Aquino...

<emo blog mixed with Tita Cory's passing. just needed an outlet. turn away now.>

Making it a non-working holiday on August 5, 2009 was probably one of the few bright ideas by that dwarf in Malacañang that I actually agree with. It was a day of mourning. Everyone was either walking with her, waiting for her on the streets, or glued to the live coverages. Tita Cory was a rare person who you can't say anything negative about. My uncle, who I'd never in a million years think would line up in a stampede-threatening crowd, did so just to try to see her for one last time (they weren't able to, by the way, 3 and a half hours of waiting in line, and they decided to call it a night, as there were people threatening to crash the barricades. He was concerned with his daughter who was with them). There was that guy they got to talk to, who was there since 8 in the evening, followed what the guards said about how to line up, and most probably walked with the whole group of people to her final resting place.

Young people don't know how much of a loss Tita Cory is to our nation. The older ones grieve for they do.

Say what you want about Kris Aquino, but yesterday, as I was watching her, I only see a person who lost a mother. Not a celebrity. Not a politician. Not a brat. Just a person who lost a mother. I was playing my PSP but tears trickle down as I feel her pain. She spoke the line in this same thought (I'm not sure if I got it all right):

"Mom, I'm sorry I lied. I said we'll be OK, but we'll never be OK. We said that so that you can leave us peacefully, so that you don't have to worry about us. But it's going to take a lifetime before we'll be OK because we'll miss you forever.."

I guess that's what we all do, in certain moments of our lives: we show strength and mask our pain so that those who worry would not. But at some point, it catches up to you. And the pain just eats you.

Now I can't work. I've got a random feeling of loneliness. To some extent, it's probably brought about by the Facebook app "Friends for Sale", or probably the looping of the songs "Emily" by Paraluman and "Why Do I Love You" by Metafour, but moreso because the pain just caught up to me.

I miss KT. I guess, like Kris, I lied when I said I wanted her to stay there and take the university thing because what I really wanted was for her to be here. I guess I lied too when I said I'd let these feelings go, because I can't. And I guess I lied when I said I'll be fine with just knowing that she's met someone (if/when that time would come). I don't know if I lied when I said I'd wait for her, but I know for sure that if she'd come back, that I'd want to see her, and seeing her would be unfair to whoever I would be with (if there would be someone) at that time.

How many times do you get to dream and have something to actually show people what you dreamed about? At least I can say I had that unique experience.

Now, if only I didn't have to wake up... I still want to go on dreaming that 2-week dream I had...