...To My Dreamgirl...

"Eh,di ba the best way to forget 

someone is to meet someone else?"

-6/27/09,a couple of LRT Stations 

away from Caloocan Rotonda,

around 11:05PM

Hi.. It's been a while since we last talked. I miss you, really. I still catch myself smiling at the thought of you: at the thought of spoken words, of quiet moments, of your smile, heck, even your old messages. Listening to songs I shared with you make me remember that short time we were together.  I still make it a point to have a pack of Mentos gum in my bag, as I was always intrigued at how long you chew your gum. There are still places I can't stand to go to because it makes me want to wish that you're gonna be there.

I just wanted you to know that you are my dream girl. You are everything I ever wanted in a girl, almost too perfect. Effortlessly, you made my world stop, and I didn't care, as nothing else mattered when I was with you.

I'm thankful to have spent a little while with you, to have risked falling for someone I most probably wouldn't be with, to have been appreciated the way that you did, and to actually feel like I mattered the way that you did to me.

Real or not, I have come to terms with the fact that you are what you are: a dream, an ideal being that's perfect for me; someone that seemed real, but not a reality.

I didn't want to let go, I wanted to keep on dreaming. Even my phone randomly displays your old messages together with a new message from someone else. But like any other dream, one has just got to wake up. And as it seems, you forced me to wake up. And slapping me to wake up wasn't enough for you, you had to throw a bucket of boiling water.

I'm wide awake now, thank you. Even my phone doesn't do that random thing anymore. I can move forward. I'm hurt, yes, but like all wounds, it'll heal. No, there weren't any commitments made, and yes, it was a mistake of too much assumptions. I'd say I may have reasons to assume what I did, but hey, assumptions are assumptions: they're only right in your mind.

You know what's great about this, is at least I can keep one promise to you (well, other than the pinky swears we had): you'll always be my Chuck; the love of my life that I'll never get to touch.

If you decide to visit my reality again, I hope you'd still have Bumblebee. You know where to find me.:)

I just hope that I would meet you again in another lifetime, when circumstances are better.

For this lifetime, all I can say is that nobody decides how you would be happy except yourself. Despite my insistence that I may be the one to keep you happy, I know that I'm only pursuing my own happiness. For whatever choice you have made, I just hope that you're happy, because I'll be, with this decision to wake up.:)

You may live by the words you uttered, but like I said to you a million times before, I didn't want to meet you to forget, I wanted to meet you because I wanted to know who you are, that girl I can't stop looking at. It doesn't matter if I meet someone else, I'll never forget you, as I never forgot who you thought I should forget. People are not things that you simply throw away and forget. Memories of the best times of your life are not meant to be just forgotten as if they never happened. 

I'm thankful for everything that has happened, and everything that never was, or never would. Like pictures, burning them doesn't erase the fact that it indeed happened. Thank you for what did, and good luck for what you'll have.

Til then.:)