..Chasing Dreams, Reaching Stars...

As a kid, you've probably been asked a million times; "what do you want to be when you grow up?"

 

Possible answers range from your parents' jobs to being a doctor(to help people/because of the cool white coats), a policeman(for the action),an actor/actress (because the adults kept feeding the kid's ego too much), etc..

 

And now that you've grown up, there's a good chance that you're not what you wanted to be when you were a kid. Your kid self, upon seeing you now, would probably ask what the hell you're doing. You, on the other hand, would probably just say that "at least it pays".

 

We live in a happy third world country. We live in a place where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. We don't get much opportunities to pursue our dreams. But we're happy, not because we have a good life financially, but rather because we just laugh at problems we can't really solve.

 

I guess that's probably why thousands line up for Starstruck/PDA/Big Brother or whatever reality show there is, why almost all households bet on the big lotto pots, and why everyone's bolting out of the country. They want to pursue their dreams where opportunity presents itself.

 

It's not everyday that you get the chance to make your dream a reality. They always say, "reach for the stars" because that way, you can chase something you can't catch. But if you do get that chance, do you let it pass and hope another dream comes up, or do you do anything you can to "reach" that "star" or "catch" that "dream"?

 

I think it's this thought that makes me so hung up with a girl I had a grand total of 4 dates with.. She was kind of like my dream girl.. I don't have much ambition, so I guess she's the closest thing to "ambition" that I can get. She was nothing but fiction, an idea of a girl that i liked. Then June 20 came, and fiction became flesh.. Well, it became more and more apparent as days progressed. But we were racing against time, she was leaving soon.

 

And now that it's been more than a month since she left, I'm still trying to believe that there's a chance that my dream may become a reality.. It's probably too removed from actuality, since she does have her own dreams (she got accepted in the university she wanted to go to) and I didn't want to be that roadblock that's going to derail her dreams.

 

But I want to try to do what I can to make this pointless dream work.. Because once in my life it actually happened, and though there's probably only 1 in a billion chance that it's gonna happen again, I'd want to see what my chances are.

 

...like the millions that line up everyday for lotto, for reality shows and whatnot, I want to be that lucky dude who gets the big break.

 

I just wish i could deal with the heartbreak of losing.

 

How do you let go of a dream that was within your grasp?