..."Bob"...

“Ikaw ba si Bob Ong?”
(“Are you Bob Ong?”)

Around 2008, my friend Imon had told me about this girl he met online.

He was dealing with a pretty bad breakup from a girl who he’s been with for over five years at the time, and he’s poured most of his frustrations by writing some of his best works in his personal blogsite.

At the time, there’s this rising author by the name of Bob Ong, who was witty, funny, and relatable for most people.

Quick Google search of his works made me realize he wasn't a new writer at the time, but for some reason, it was around 2008 when I got to know about him.

For some reason, his works gave the same vibe as that guy for multiply user “serioustraveler” and they started to have a conversation in the comments section.

It was pre-Tinder or anything online dating related, Facebook was on the rise, and we were still able to make blogs on a website known as Multiply.

In true Imon fashion, the conversation was pretty much just bullshit, but apparently, they took a chance on each other and eventually had a private conversation.

The next thing I know, I picked Imon up for a random basketball game with our Philosophy juniors (we have already graduated at the time), and there she was; a young girl who was probably younger than the guys we were going to play against, with a bright smile that made her taller than she actually was, and eyes so innocent you would wash your mouth if you cursed around her.

“Si Ella nga pala,” he said, having already briefed me in the car that this was the girl in the comments section.

Naturally, I tried my best to befriend her, as I have taken pride in being that guy who welcomed people into our circle.

It didn’t look like it was serious at first, because I knew for a fact that my friend was on the rebound, but he was happy to find someone who appreciates him, and she was happy to meet a brilliant character.

They met a few more times; soon, he took her to one of our get-togethers, and our good friend Christian even had the confidence to vouch for Imon.

“Si Imon ang pinakamabait kong kaibigan (Imon is my most well-behaved friend),” he said, pretty standard line for anyone that is introduced to him by any of us.

“Itataya ko lahat ng law books ko, di ka lolokohin nyan (I bet all my law books that he will not cheat on you).”

Christian was a law student at the time. He made a few missteps during our college days, but he is one of the rare ones who made it through four years in UST Law and pass the bar exams on his first try, so you can bet that those law books were pretty important for him.

It was a bad bet, really.

After his brother graduated in college, Imon decided leave the condo they were staying at in Katipunan to teach in a school near his home province.

There, he would tell me about meeting an amazing girl who checked out all the boxes of his dream girl, and probably more.

He felt that they had a connection, and eventually called it quits with Ella.

Ella was a mess after that.

She didn’t know what she did wrong, or what she could have done to keep him – all she knew was the pain of being left alone.

After seeing my mom at her worst dealing with heartbreak, I vowed to do everything in my power to not let anyone close to me go through the same pain.

Despite Imon’s honesty to me, I chose to betray his trust.

I told Ella about that girl. I advised her to let him go, because he broke her trust, and that if he did it once, I could not assure her he would not do it again.

I told Ella to not let him into her life again, especially if she couldn’t learn to trust that he would take care of her heart the way that it deserved to be.

Imon is my friend, but if he would constantly cheat, she would be throwing away her youth for a lifetime of grief, and I thought that if my friend could break her trust, he could get over losing Ella eventually.

I gain nothing from it, other than I know that I’m doing my part in Ella’s life to help her avoid a lifetime of suffering.

   

They would lose touch for a while, with Imon later deciding not to pursue dream girl, knowing he did Ella wrong.

It didn’t take long before they were in contact again, but this time with Imon more cautious on being honest around me, and Ella dreading judgment after going against my advice.

I might have lost two friends at this point, but if I were given the chance to do it all over again, I probably wouldn't change a thing.

At the end of the day, they had their own realizations, and decided to be better for each other. Maybe I played a part in it, maybe I didn’t.

What matters is that they welcomed a baby boy to the world, and he is growing up to be a fine young man because they learned how to be parents together.

They didn’t map out what they would do for the rest of their lives, but they knew that they were going to be living the rest of it together as a family.

Earlier this month, more than a decade after that first day that “serioustraveler” thought that “iamtheblur” is not Bob Ong, Ella and Imon have decided to tie the knot.

Gatecrashed the family event, so decided to take photos instead of being part of it.

It was not a huge, fancy wedding in a Church you would assume a couple who stayed together that long would finally have; rather, it was a quick ceremony made official by the highest-ranking official of the city that saw their family blossom.

Despite living in a different country, I wasn’t going to miss it for anything in the world.

I may not have been their best friend, but I knew that at some point in their lives, my opinion mattered to them, or else they would not have shared their heartaches with me.

I was probably the only non-family member who was invited to be at the ceremony, but I didn’t care.

I had to see it.

I had to be there.

Their unlikely love story is probably not a recipe for an all-time romantic movie, but it is a real story, with real people who faced real problems.

As life goes on, the wedding is far from their happily-ever-after, but it was an event that gave me much joy, as if I was actually part of their story.

Of course, there’s probably more to their story.

I don’t know how Imon swept Ella off her feet twice, or how they had a kid despite being so conservative to the point of having a forehead kiss on the “you may kiss the bride” part of their wedding ceremony.

Even Mayor was surprised by this.

All I know is, that despite my efforts in trying to keep them apart to save them from heartache, they decided to find happiness with each other.

They could have chosen to cut me off from their lives after getting back together, but instead, they chose to keep me around, and invited me to arguably the biggest day of their relationship.

Even if they did cut me off when they decided to get back together, I would live happily with the thought that they found their way back to each other.

While there are so many things in this world that are beyond our control, choosing who we love and what to do about it is well within our powers.

People will have varying opinions on how you want to live your life, and while most of them will go against your beliefs, every one of them was intended to help you get through your challenges.

If you tell anyone about the story of “Bob,” it would be easy to think that it was a story about a fling that wouldn’t even last a year.

And yet, here we are, more than 10 years after they shared their common interest in an author whose popularity waned a few years after they met, and they are still working towards a better future for each other and their kid.

If anything, their love teaches us that you should never be afraid to take a chance, and always choose what’s best for you.