Thursday, October 3, 2019

..."The One"...

We live in a world where we are made to believe that "true love" happens when you find "The One" - the person that you are "destined" to be with in this lifetime. 

However, like the movies and stories that we watched and we were told, it's just a fantasy. 

Sure, wedding videos and stories of real couples we know would have us believe otherwise, but that's only because they have to be the protagonists to their own fairy tales. 

"The One" is not real, but love is. 

Not everyone has the luck of finding the right person immediately - some have to go through several "The Ones" before finding the person they would spend the rest of their lives with. 

I dated a girl in high school and had a petty falling out with my cousin because I thought that she was "The One," but that fairy tale didn't even last a year.

Early in college, I met a girl who I thought was "The One" and even if she hinted at reciprocating my emotions from time to time, it mostly felt like a one-sided love. 

The next year, I met someone who I felt I wanted to take care of. She was a bubbly girl who always seemed happy, and I strongly felt that I needed to keep her happy. 

Like my previous relationships, I hoped that she would be "The One" for the hopeless romantic in me. 

Our relationship started with a lot of awkwardness, a certain level of friendship, and a one-sided romantic feeling coming from me. 

After almost 15 years since that day that we first met, we're now blessed with a 2-year-old toddler and heading to our fourth wedding anniversary in a colorful decade-and-a-half together.

Almost 15 years in, and our smiles are still as real as the first day we met,
and I'm thankful that our little boy inherited his mother's bright smile
  

As romantic as "love as first sight" is, it doesn't happen in real life, nor does "The One" appear in your life and you instantly know that that person is "destined" for you. 

Similar to starting a fire, one has to ignite a spark before love can blossom. 

I hoped that my wife would be "The One" for me, and while she didn't see it that way then, I put in the effort to make her know that I truly wanted to be that person for her.  

She took a leap, and we wouldn't have gotten together in the first place if she didn't take the risk of trusting me.

Even as we got together and culminated our boyfriend-girlfriend relationship with a big wedding, our story didn't end there. 

It's still going on, because reality doesn't have a "happily ever after" and we have to constantly go through challenges without the promise that it will be the last big hurdle in our lives. 

So stop living in a fantasy world where "The One" will suddenly step out of your dreams and into your life to magically solve all your love problems. 

Meet people, get to know them, and don't be afraid that you're making a wrong choice, because every mistake is an opportunity to grow and learn, and the reward could lead to a lifetime of happiness with a partner. 

You just have to take the leap and ignite that fire.