...On Missed Chances and Justifying Actions...

Every once in a while, we're faced with making a choice. Figuratively, it's illustrated as the road split to two at some junction. To be able to move forward, you always have to choose one or the other, and deal with the consequences of your choice. You probably wouldn't know for sure if choosing the other road was better, but that doesn't stop you from saying "sayang, sana pala dun na lang". 

Upon choosing your path, you justify to yourself that what you did was the best choice. You 

consider the pros and cons of choosing the other path, and make yourself believe that what you did had more pros than the other.

That said, I'll be trying to justify my actions:

Case #1: The Gentleman

Background/Situation: 

I'd like  to think of myself as a  gentleman. In every door that I go in to, I see to it that the person behind me gets in or that he/she has a hold of that door handle. When in a public vehicle, I assist a person going in if he/she looks like they're having trouble. And when sitting on a train, I stand up to offer my seat to an old lady or a woman. 

So yesterday, I didn't make the cut to ride the last shuttle, so I was sitting on this long bench for people waiting on the queue. Then this old lady comes by, sits beside me. Then a couple more. We all got to sit. A little later, this gold Ford Lynx drops by a girl. Now, if I knew that the bench was full, I would've automatically given up my seat. But I didn't. In the corner of my eye, I saw her standing at the back of the bench. I wanted to stand up to offer my seat, but then a fat lady comes by.

Choice Between: Being a gentleman and offer my seat, or be a prick and stay.

I Chose to: Be a prick and stay on my seat.

Why: I was thinking that if I stood up then, fat lady would sit on the vacated seat, and Ford girl would think I'm making a move on her. Plus the fact that there was a shuttle backing up, so offering my seat would be useless. I was dead wrong on that second part, and I guess I'll never know if the first one would've ever happened.

Case #2: The Honest Passenger

Background/Situation: 

I drive, but that doesn't mean I haven't had my share of commuting. I know where the jeep routes are, and know how much most of the fares cost. I know that from Magsaysay street to Pasig Palengke would cost 10pesos, and vice versa. I know that Rosario to Pasig Palengke is 7pesos. 

Last night, I rode a jeep from Stella Mariz street going to Magsaysay. That's in the middle of Pasig Rotonda and Rosario. I was thinking it'd be just 7 pesos, but to be sure, I paid with a 20peso bill, and I get 2 large coins, and a small one. Upon examining the coins, I got a 1peso coin, a 5peso coin, and a 10peso coin. Naturally, I'd think the barker made a mistake, since there's no jeep offering 4peso fares like it was 1994. But then I was thinking, he was swindling me, because there's no way that from there to Magsaysay would cost me 9pesos. 

Choice Between: Being the good passenger and consider the man's needs for the day vs. Shutting up and just keep the excess. 

I Chose To: Shut up and just keep the excess. 

Why: At the time, I was still processing the complicated mathematical phenomenon: I paid 20pesos on a jeepney, and got 16pesos in change. I wanted to give it back to the kid by asking how much the fare cost. But the jeje music was just too loud. So I decided to shut uo. When I had a chance to go near the driver to have a discussion about the fare, I was thinking it was probably too late. If I asked then, the driver would think that the kid was doing this all the time, and would probably not have him ride shotgun again in the future. But then I also had that feeling that it may actually have cost 9pesos. If so, I just made that jeep's earnings about 3pesos less. Since I never got the answer to what the truth may have been, I've decided to drop the extra 5pesos on the offertory box in the next mass that I'll attend.

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I realize that if I made a choice at the right times, I wouldn't be contemplating on those events yesterday. If I just stood up upon seeing Ford girl going towards the end of the line, she would've sat down, I would've stood at the end of the line, and I'd feel that I've done the right thing. If I just gave back the 5pesos to Barker boy in the jeep, I wouldn't be thinking if they earned enough last night because of the kid's erroneous change-giving.

Then again, this is real world. And in the real world, there are no re-takes of the same, exact situations, no looking back and doing the right thing. The missed chances could've been the right choices, but not having chosen those, who am I to say I wouldn't be asking the same questions now?