...alone, stuck up, and nothing to do...

i am an outgoing person. it's not because i like to spend all my money, but because i want to make the most out of my life by being with the most people i can possibly be with. i go to work from mondays to fridays from 8am to 5pm then after that, i find time to go out with che or with college classmates because i feel i'm getting older faster in the office. i want to hang out with college friends, that they may jolt my seemingly stagnant brain. i want to hang out with che, that i may feel the comfort of her company (yes, despite the kiki voice). i want to hang out with my cousins, that we may share mindless fun.

i'm what my mom calls a "boarder" --- i only go home to sleep. now, much as i would want to resent that thought of hers, i almost feel as if she's right. heck, i only want to go home to relax and not recieve text messages from my mom asking where i am. thing is, with 3 tv's and a relatively big place, we don't necessarily see each other even if everyone's home. hence, she watches tv in their room, my dad watches his programs in the living room, and i could lock myself up in my room for all they care.

and yet, they insist that i stay home. for what? me-time? it's not as if we're having bonding sessions every night that we're all here. my bro's obssessed with any light emmitting object. my dad's detatched from what we humans call "emotion" and as it seems, "empathy". my mom is too attached to all the problems in the world that the littlest thing seems like the fate of the rest of the world depended on it. my sis is probably reading this as well, and though i could say she's a sane-line for me in the house, she's still halfway to the detatched from "emotion" bit to just plain introvert. (yes, you are an introvert for me. haha..)

and now, it's a saturday night. my friends probably won't get to read this blog of mine unless they're too bored or i post a new blog by monday and get to read a previous entry they think they didn't get to read simply because NOBODY stays home alone on a saturday night.  all right, probably somebody does. but that somebody most probably is a nobody. look, i'm not hating on what you do. and i'm not saying i'm "somebody". if you like staying home on weekends, that's great, my parents would love you. it's just that i'm a people-person. a guy who can't shut up. a guy that has his throat dry in the office for the whole freakin week and needs outlet. a guy who hates misery for company.

THIS is misery. che and her friends are gonna watch that piolo-angel movie which i would want to watch (yeah yeah, so i watch local flicks.) except that the only people i watch those kinds of movies with are che and her friends. today is exactly two weeks after the first "food trip saturday" that we had, and this is supposed to be the date of the 2nd one. imon is at his condo, 1 text away from going out. uncle owe and jon are probably at uncle owe's place getting wasted and probably playing tongits.

 

and i am here. blogging. let's see why i ended up this way:

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Dad and Pissing

my dad can't discharge piss. you know the feeling of you gotta go but you're trying to hold it in? that's what's happening to him. except that, for us, we get relief as soon as we take the load off. him? nothing. he's right  there ready to take a piss but, nothing. and the feeling of holding it in? it was driving him crazy.

so they went to the doctor to find out that my dad had a prostate enlargement or something, and it's blocking the urinal gland, making it impossible for him to discharge piss that he needs to let out.

a call from my mom wednesday afternoon:

Ma: ter, si papa mo ndi makaihi. Sasamahan ko na xa sa medical city.

Me: anung nangyari?

Ma: nun isang araw pa nga xa nagrereklamo eh. Nahihirapan na daw xa. Tapos kanina ayun, talagang wala na daw.

Me: ah ok. So kelangan nyo po un kotse?
Ma: oo eh. Mei lakad ka ba?

Me: opo. Mei premiere po kami panoorin sa galle eh.

Ma: hay nako. Parati ka na lang mi lakad ndi mo ba kami pwedeng unahin?

Me: huh? Eh un premiere nun isang araw pa. um-oo na ko. Mei tiket ako. Kun alam ko ba namang kelangan pumunta sa doktor eh di sana ndi ko na dinala kotse. Dadalhin ko na lang sa inyo sa medical city, commute na lang ako pabalik.

Ma: ikaw talaga. Ndi mo kami sasamahan?
Me: makakaihi ba si papa kun sumama ako?

two things flawed that (no pun intended) pissed me off is that 1. she asked if i had somewhere to go to. when i said yes, she reacted negatively. why the heck would you ask something you don't like to hear the answer of? another is that she insists that i go, when i am of no use to them. i'm not a doctor or anything, and i don't necessarily need to be there for financial services. what, i need to be there moral/emotional support? i highly doubt that. my dad's too egoistic to appreiciate company especially in this time of his vulnerability. no. i am not too hard on him. i've known the guy for 19 years of my life (i'm taking two years off for the benefit of consciousness) and i know what i'm talking about. hence, i'd rather watch my fun movie (yes man, which was 7/10).

so now, my dad hasn't gone to work since wednesday. and today, as much as i would want to go to any other place, i can't because my mom would be like "grabe ka na talaga, kung ayaw mo na dito sa bahay ko lumayas ka na!"..

one thing i've learned to take to heart is that as long as you live under the same roof as your parents, you just have to play by their rules.

that's why i'm here, blogging.

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My Dad and Empathy

i hate my life being planned out by others. the only times that that sits well with me is when people decide where to eat. i didn't live out this consious existence to be dictated on what to do.

hence, i still "work" in the same place i've been ranting about for ages because i don't want to be told to go to law school or fulfill my dad's blurry visions of an instantly gratifying business that ranges from junk shops to selling garlic and other stuff in bulk to retail outlets. i'd want to help my uncle out in his business that's also manufacturing by nature, but even before i decide to, my dad's insisting that i learn the tricks of the trade and eventually put up my own business.

my dad loves that. letting people do what he thinks is good but doesn't care to try it out. he's too blinded by possible upside that he doesn't really care to see the possible consequences of his choices. for my part, i'm a gambler, but heck, i gamble on games, not on other people's futures.

anyway, my dad's at it again. so tomorrow, i have to represent him in a "kumpil" for the guy who sells volkswagen accessories to him. yeah, i know the guy. i met him ONCE. and now i have to play ninong for his son/daughter. it's a kumpil demmit. not a freakin baptism. if i walked with the son/daughter, i could be mistaken for a boyfriend or a tropa.

i know i'm not young-YOUNG, but do i have to be young-that-must-look/act-old? i hate this.

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Good Earth and Cocktails

on a lighter note, i was able to chill out at least last night. went to goodearth in rockwell with che, issa, and shara. ate pat also happened to drop by, but totally by coinidence. the jamjar is a must try in goodearth (roast, i must add. goodearth in trinoma is fine-dining like. rockwell's is a good place to hang out and drink) and we each had one. and another cocktail drink after that (no beers for my friends, no beer for me).

i came to a realization last night as to why there are brawls in certain bars. if i had imon, jason, diaz (classmates), and jon (my cousin) with me last night, we would've trashed the place. see, guys can be so freakin annoying when they're together, and if you don't know them, you'd just laugh at how pathetic they are. imon, jason, and diaz are guys who don't care (or are clueless, in diaz's case) if the people they're talking about can hear them. jon, for his part, is a guy who'd break your face if you gave him a bad stare. me? i'm in the middle of both.

i say this because last night, there were a couple of table with a bunch of bozos having fun. jologs english on one side, and pa-coño english on another. both of them too loud for us to make fun of. since i was with 3 girls and was wearing a somewhat "formal" attire, none of the trashing happened, because these guys wouldn't confront girls even if they heard them make fun of them. BUT, if i were with the guys i said earlier? man. no doubt in my mind that it would have been the last time i would be there in goodearth.

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My Mom and Skype

this i thought of just now, as my mom approached me. so my sis is in singapore, right? occassionally, she'd be online, probably so that she wouldn't feel too homesick. what my mom does is that whenever someone's by the computer, she'd insist you check out if ate was online.

funny thing if she is: my mom would pass it on to another person. i mean, what the hell? she'd keep on asking if ate's online for like every 10mins, and when you say that she is, this is what normally happens:

ma: ate, kamusta ka na dyan?

Ate: ok lang naman po.

Ma: kumain ka na?

Ate: opo.

Ma: teka lang ah. (shouts out our names) dali!

Us: (going near her because the need seems urgent) bakit po?

Ma: wala, online si ate eh, gusto nyo kausapin?

 

 

And i mean all the time.

 

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so now, i'm gonna try to go out to uncle owe's place. he had me at "papaitan".

 

but first, episode 2 of kyle xy's 3rd season.