...A Decision...

It is with a heavy heart that I am making a decision. It is a necessary one, and I have decided to stay on with my job, and give up a dream.

I got in this job because I said I wanted to help it grow. I wanted to help in any way I can. It is a frustrating industry, in the sense that sales take such a long time. I count months or even years before a project moves forward. I know I can sell stuff, but there's just something missing.

I applied for a sports writing job. I was offered one. It was a dream. I get to do something I like. I get to wake up in the morning to watch a basketball game because it was part of my job. I get to promote sports like it was a secret that I love it. I get to work with awesome people in a vibrant office that I know I will enjoy. I get to open doors to media like I've always wanted, considering the friends I have in that industry. 

My boss had set the following conditions: that I settle the balance for Bruno (my car), wait until he finds a replacement, and don't leave before February. The last one, new job advised will be no problem. The first two were major issues for me, but I know that if I do decide on taking the new job, I'll find ways to deal with it. 

Over the past week, I have been lost and broken. Do I give up on my current job, where my boss has given me trust that he doesn't usually give to people so that I can take a step towards a new beginning? Or do I turn down the dream, and stay on to do more and set out to fulfill the goal I set out to do in the first place?

On the things to consider, I ultimately came to a decision which I think is the best for me, considering "me". 

I can't give up on my job. Not now. Not yet. I took this job with a goal of helping this company grow, of earning and validating my boss' trust in me for the opportunity he has given. I wasn't built to not finish things that I started. I realize that I do eventually need to move on from this job, but I think now is not the right time. That trust, though earned, has not been validated. The company is growing, but I know I can do more for it. 

I did explore the opportunity because I really wanted out. I really wanted a fresh start this year. But in the end, I just couldn't do it. I can't just leave my boss, not after everything he has given me over the past couple of years. I am deeply wounded by the fact that I let a lot of my friends down. I let some new friends down, thinking I would really help them with what they're doing.

But I needed to decide for me. Emotions aside, I considered the financial aspect of this decision. I will earn from the new job in three years what I can get here in two or even one. I can freelance more often with my current job than if I am working steadily as a writer. I considered my passion. I tried to make a fantasy blog earlier in the season, a blog dedicated to games. I couldn't keep it up. I didn't write an article if I felt like I wasn't enjoying it. And because of time, I just couldn't keep it up. I love basketball. I love writing. If it becomes a chore, I'm afraid I wouldn't have a personal escape. I thought that I needed to keep my passion different from my job. Basically, those two aspects contributed greatly to the decision I made.

I write this to explain one of the most difficult decisions I've had to make, to remind myself not to regret what I have done when I had this chance. I wanted that job so bad, but at 26, I'm no longer that idealist who must always choose a job that I love to do. I'm that practical person who looks at his bank account and sees the need to take that which makes it grow more.

To my unrealized co-workers, I can't thank you enough for the chance you have given me, and the confidence in what I could do with you. Words cannot describe how painful it is to decide against taking the opportunity to work with you. I look forward to work with you in another capacity, and enjoy drinks with you at times of leisure. I can't say when I'll be ready, but I will be certain when I am. If I truly am meant for that world, I am hopeful that circumstances will coincide with opportunities. 

But right now, I think this is the direction that I need to take. Despite all the signs given when I first had these realizations, against the advise of some trusted friends, I took this road again.

I may not have taken the leap to a new beginning, but I am, taking the dive deeper into the ocean I'm swimming in. All things considered, all things said, I still think that I am choosing "me". 

...A Hole Not So Deep: A Perspective on Rain Or Shine...

I can't remember the last time when I followed a team in the PBA as much as I have followed Rain Or Shine over the past few years. I've seen the team grow from the Jojo Tangkay, Jun-Jun Cabatu, and Jay-R Reyes-anchored  inaugural team of Welcoat Dragons to a revamped and renamed squad headlined by the athletic duo of Gabe Norwood and Sol Mercado, to the spunky squad that they are now under Coach Yeng. It pains me that they are down 0-2, and though Talk N' Text is playing amazing ball, I still believe that they are not invincible.

Let me claim now that I am not an expert, nor am I a professional baller to be legitimately considered as an authority on the matter. I express opinion as a basketball fan and a Rain or Shine fan to offer my two cents. Feel free to discuss, but personally, here are my thoughts on (fielded) players and adjustments:

Guards

Ryan Arana 

Jaworski-lite is playing his game, but still isn't translating to wins. He's always there on rebound plays, can get to the rim on sneaky moves, can defend, has an outside shot, and was actually playing PG for Coach Yeng. Maybe Coach needs to play him more?

Paul Lee 

Looks like the best player on the court for Rain or Shine at times, but takes ill-advised decisions in at the wrong time. A bad jumper here and there, and dazzling moves that end with a shot that's high off the board. Nerves? Sell out? The team needs him to channel his inner Cobra Commander and not some fat kid who took too much Appeton to bulk up.

Chris Tiu

Always been a winner, and looks like he's getting good shots up, just not converting them. I guess he needs to Tiu-torize himself more on picking his shots. He's shooting horribly from three, but he seems to be taking a lot of it. Worst play in so far is his awesome pass to Jimmy Alapag during the crucial moments of Game One.  Other than that, his shots just aren't falling. It'll probably get better, but he needs to be patient with it. 

Gabe Norwood

Plays the point at times for the team. He's been tentative in Game One, but looked to attack in Game Two. Still, he's throwing up threes like he was Ray Allen or something. He's Gabe freakin Norwood, the athletic beast who was jumping all over opponents during his National Club stint, playing like a skinny LeBron James without a jumper. He needs to be more aggressive in the sense that he wants to rip that rim off and not take those turnaround fadeaway jumpers. He has the tools to destroy just about any defender thrown at him, but he needs to make use of them.

Jeff Chan

In a team of no superstars, Jeff Chan is one of the guys on the team that's close to legit superstar status. He's trying to play like it, but he's just ice cold from the field. He's a shooter who's added some slashing to his repertoire, but he's still not that good of a ball handler. He needs to lessen his one on one's unless there's sure to be help, and he needs to stop focusing on selling calls because there's a big chance that those whistles aren't going to go his way. 

Jireh Ibanez 

The captain and arguably the best defender of the team hasn't been able to stop anyone. It is perfectly understandable because TNT is basically a mirror-image of their team, as they have multiple weapons on offense. While his scrappiness and desire are unquestionable, one of his weak points is finishing at the rim. He has the tendency to try and do a little too much by driving to the basket recklessly and forcing shots in. He needs to calm down, understand that he can't take everyone one on one even at the post. He's also the fastest guys on the break, but he tends to force it even if the defense already recovered. 

TY Tang

Quality minutes in his appearance in Game Two, but won't be able to keep in step with Castro or Jimmy on defense. He calms the offense down and knows how to pick his spots. I don't see him getting extended minutes, but he just needs to keep playing his game when called upon. 

Forwards

Ronnie Matias

Plays like he's on an And1 Streetball challenge at times. Most amazing play so far would have to be that drive in the second half of Game Two where he split 4 defenders on a coast to coast. His outside shot hasn't been effective (as is everyone else's), and though he can create his own shots, he tends to force it as well. He needs to play the Matias game we've been accustomed to: gritty defense and scoring through offensive boards. Three point shooting should be secondary, even if he has been confident about it. And don't be too obvious on push offs. 

Larry Rodriguez

With the emergence of Jervy Cruz, Larry Rodriguez seems to have lost his confidence. He's been asking for the ball at the post, but he doesn't really do anything about it when he gets it. He's been tentative shooting the ball over the past two games, and when he does, he almost expects it to miss. If he can't shoot those mid range jumpers, he needs to just play his usual game of positioning for the rebound and getting his points via putbacks. He did that successfully over a stretch in the second quarter of Game Two that built his confidence up a bit.

Jervy Cruz
King Tiger truly is back. Still can't get over that spin move on Harvey Carey in Game One that brought me back to my UST days when we had that magical run for the championship. He's been aggressive on offense and has been relentless on the glass, but he's blowing some defensive assignments. He's tasked to guard either Ranidel De Ocampo, Harvey Carey, or Ali Peek, but usually is being switched to play against Jared Dillinger. Except for Ali, those are players who can shoot the ball from the perimeter on a consistent basis. While I love the fact that Jervy is playing below the rim on defense to be ready for those boards, he needs to keep an eye on RDO because he's killing RoS with his versatility. He needs to deny him the ball and must not allow him to get open looks for three, as that has been money for Ranidel. 

Centers

Beau Belga
Air Jollibee (as my favorite PBA Blog coined him) has been playing a bit inconsistently in this series. He hasn't gotten his shots from the outside, and he did make a couple of amazing drives in Game One, but those were absent in the second game. He can't be frustrated because of all those missed shots, they will eventually fall. He just needs to keep his head in the game, shoot when open, and if he gets his groove on, defense will collapse on his every pump fake that will open opportunities for him to drive to the hole. 

JR Quinahan
As good as he played in Game Two on the offensive end, he still is way too slow on defense to match up against the agile big men of TNT. I think it would be best to keep him on the bench unless TNT fields a player he can guard, say Ali Peek or John Ferriols. He got his range in Game Two, so that should be a morale booster for himself. He can't lose a hundred pounds before the end of the series, so might as well make good on what he has and just put in a little more effort in recovering on defense. Ranidel is eating him alive.

Team Offense

The three pointer has been a major weapon for Rain or Shine, but they can't bury their outside shots during this Finals series. They have found success on their halfcourt sets with crisp passing when they are playing calm, but lose control as soon as they get the game close. Thay've had point blank shots that just don't go in, and almost and-one plays that rolls off the rim. They space themselves out too much, allowing TNT to close down the middle for the boards, eliminating their second chance points opportunities, which was the defining stat that got them past San Mig Coffee. Communication will be important for them, as they can't all be at the three point line waiting for the slasher to kick it out to them. While the bigs can stay out to stretch the help defense, maybe a the wings can slice through the D to get ready for those boards.

Team Defense

As much as three pointers have won them games, it is also killing them now as TNT has been deadly outside. Larry Fonacier stopped the late RoS rally in Game One with a three. Ranidel De Ocampo and Kelly Williams hit shots to end the third quarter of Game Two to quickly destroy RoS' momentum after they briefly grabbed a 4-point lead. Rotation would be key, and they need to work on switching off pick and rolls. They either leave the roller or the ball handler open when the ball handler steps back after using the pick. This results in either an open three or an open lane in the middle. Although Ranidel and Jason Castro can't seem to be defended, they just need to close down the lane by switching on picks, and committing to a double team on the trap instead of just teasing the ball handler then scrambling back on defense for the screener left open.

Defensive Player Matchup

Ryan Arana/Jireh Ibanez on Jason Castro
Castro can't be stopped, but he might be limited or frustrated. Arana and Ibanez can do that to him if they are granted the assignment of going exclusive on him. They need to always go over screens to be able to stick to him.

Paul Lee/Chris Tiu/TY Tang on Jimmy Alapag/Ryan Reyes
These players don't have the legs to keep up with Castro. In the case of Lee, he has the bulk to match up against the similarly physical Ryan Reyes and enough speed to keep in step with Jimmy Alapag. Tiu and Tang may not be the fastest or strongest players on the court, but they do have the smarts to know how to play either Alapag or Reyes.

Gabe Norwood/Jeff Chan on Jared Dillinger/Larry Fonacier
Norwood's athleticism can match up to Dillinger's and his length can disrupt Fonacier's shots. Chan has been pretty sneaky with his defensive skills, and can stay in front of Dillinger and Fonacier with his length.

Jervy Cruz/Ronnie Matias/Beau Belga on Ranidel De Ocampo/Harvey Carey/Aaron Aban/Kelly Williams
The agile big men of Rain or Shine against the versatile forwards of Talk N' Text. Jervy, Ronnie, and Beau need to remember that they are guarding big men that can shoot outside, so they can't just leave them wide open. If they do, they at least have the mobility to scramble back on defense.

JR Quinahan/Larry Rodriguez on Ali Peek
Quinahan is slow, while Larry isn't the most agile big man in the RoS rotation. They can't be assigned to guard the earlier batch of players because they're just too slow for them. Peek won't stretch their defense too much, and though they can't underestimate his range, he won't ask for the ball too far away from the basket to prevent them from getting position for rebounds.

Climbing out of a 0-2 hole is not impossible, but they won't win any games if they can't believe that they can actually pull this off.